Mark tells Hannah that the young learn from their elders. Hannah doesn't know what he's talking about.
Brett, Danni and Lou discuss an advertising campaign for Chez Chez. They decide to base it around Cheryl.
Karl finds a load of talking garden gnomes in the Youth Centre. Susan takes a photo.
Billy and Melissa pash.
A sign is up outside the Kennedy house of Karl with a gnome and the caption, "Do You Gnome This Man?"
Lou and Cheryl's
Libby is interviewing Brett about winning the competition but he is very unforthcoming! Billy comes in and announces in shock that he's got a girlfriend. Brett asks if Melissa knows(!)
Helen is sketching. Phil says he thought about being a diver in the navy once(!) Hannah comes in and asks Phil if Mark has said anything to her. Phil is instantly on his guard and asks Hannah what Mark has been saying. Hannah explains about the "living in sin" and Phil gets mad. He says he's sick of Mark badmouthing him and Jen. Helen says that Mark isn't himself lately - he seems he thinks he's been chosen for a divine purpose.
Mark has come to talk to Lou about his radio show. He suggests having a youth counsellor on the show - like him for example. Lou isn't sure but Mark says it'll be fine.
Susan says Karl that a friend of hers saw Karl with L plates on the car and insists that Malcolm doesn't need two teachers. Susan is upset that they didn't tell her. Karl says Mal needs as much practice as he can get on proper roads.
Libby and Billy come in bickering (just for a change) This time it's about Melissa. Karl and Susan laugh to hear that Billy has a girlfriend.
Lou is recording a radio advert for Chez Chez. Helen thinks they need something with a bit of humour in it. Brett says that dying is easy, humour is hard, but Lou thinks they can pull it off.
Phil has come to talk to Mark about what he said to Hannah. Mark bangs on that carnal relationships out of wedlock are a sin. Phil manages not to hit him and says that he who is without sin should cast the first stone, but Mark says he's perfectly happy with himself! Mark then bangs on about Hannah needing help. Phil tells him to stop going on about fire and brimstone. Mark says that Phil must fight against lust!
PHIL: What happened to you? You used to be a normal, eary-going bloke.
MARK: (smiles) I used to be a sinner. Like you.
Phil says there's nothing wrong with having a woman and a family that love him and he'd better not talk to Hannah again. Mark says he can't do that. Phil tells Mark that he's lost the plot then stalks out. (Mark...sandwiches...picnic!)
Phil is telling Helen about Mark wanting to save his soul. He thinks he'll hide from Mark when he sees him coming from now on. Phil says it's more than the priesthood - he didn't use to shove religion down people's throats. Helen says it all started after Mark and Lucy had their little fling.
Lou comes in with Suede Tess - she's hurt herself in training this morning. Her foot is swollen and Lou asks Phil to take her to the vet.
Brett is trying to cook up a funny script for Lou's advertising campaign.
Libby comes in and silently regards another gnome poster on the door of the Coffee Shop. Then she sits down with Brett and asks him to finish the interview. Brett says he doesn't want to do it now - Lou is expecting him at the studio with a funny script. Brett says he also feels bad for being Mr Undateable - even Billy has got a girlfriend and he's only 15. Libby says sympathetically that it's not true - he did go out with Bianca. Brett says now she's long gone. He says that he's the kind of guy that everyone wants as a friend and says he might as well be dead from the neck die. He says his life sucks. Libby says that it doesn't - he's going to Canberra and maybe to Africa. Brett says those things are good, but he's a man - he has needs! Libby advises him to take a cold shower!
BRETT: About as funny as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
Suddenly he has an idea and laughs.
Karl answer the phone to Melissa. He takes the opportunity for a chat, much to Billy's displeasure! Billy finally gets the phone and apologises for Karl saying that doctors are always like that. Billy asks Melissa if she wants to go to the movies and she accepts.
KARL: If you feel like a double-date, your mother and I will come along.
BILLY: Would you guys please act your age!
Phil comes in and tells Helen and Hannah that Suede Tess has spread toes - he's keeping her in for observation. Her racing days could be over - it's something to do with her tendons.
They hears a scream from the radio which gets their attention.
LOU: Some blokes would rather poke themselves in the eye with a sharp stick than go to another disappointing pub.
BRETT: Luckily I found Chez Chez!
LOU: I'm seeing double! Chez Chez! That's Chez Chez. A beaut pub, run by the original Chez herself, Cheryl Stark.
BRETT: For a game of pool, darts, for the coldest beer and the best pub food in Erinsborough.
LOU: Chez Chez has got the lot.
BRETT: So don't stick with a loser.
LOU: Make Chez Chez you new boozer!
BRETT: It's opened my eyes to how a good pub can really be.
LOU: Chez Chez, located right next door to Lassiter's. Make it your local!
Helen, Phil and Hannah are quite impressed - it does grab your attention!
In the next item, Lou introduces Mark as a new spot. Helen, Hannah and Phil are horrified to hear this. Mark decides to talk about the titanic struggle between good and evil (excuse me while I roll my eyes. *Rolls eyes*) Lou looks uncomfortable as Mark implores his listeners to fight evil!
Karl and Susan are also listening in. Susan says it's embarrassing. Then Mark says that the local doctor is a good example of a sinner - he condones teenage sex by handing out contraceptive advice to young girls. Libby comes in to listen too.
Lou is trying to reason with Mark who is now going on about lust.
MARK: We must repent now for our children's sake! He starts shouting about religion until Lou finally manages to cut him off.
Lou angrily shouts at Mark to get out.
Helen has popped over to see Mark. She asks him if everything is alright - he's been under a bit of pressure recently. Mark says he hasn't.
Just then there's a loud banging on the door - it's Lou, after Mark's blood. The radio station has had a lot of complaints.
MARK: It's up to us to be the voice, crying in the wilderness!
LOU: Are you out of your cotton-picking mind?!
Mark asks Helen for her opinion on the show. Before she can open her mouth Lou says he's surprised Phil and Karl haven't been over to take him apart.
MARK: Right will always be right. Though I walk through the shadow of the valley of...
LOU: Oh stop that, just stop it you sanctimonius little prat!
MARK: The kids need our help, Lou.
LOU: The only one who needs help is you, mate. Psychiatric help!
Lou says enough's enough and Mark had better stay out of his way until hell freezes over!
MARK: The forces of evil will have to work harder than that if they're going to stop my crusade.
Helen looks troubled.
Brett and Hannah are discussing how Mark used to be a top bloke. Hannah thinks he's scary and she's not going back to the Coffee Shop for a while. Brett suggests hanging out at the Youth Centre from now on.
Libby is listening to her tape of Brett's interview. Susan and Karl agree that it's boring, but think Libby should ask different questions. Karl says she could just make it up(!)
Billy comes out and asks for a lift to the Youth Centre. Libby teases Billy again and Susan tells her off.
LIBBY: And don't forget - sit up the front in the movie! She'd have to be blind to be going out with you!
Mark waves at Susan and Billy and they wave politely. He also waves at Hannah who promptly turns her back on him and walks away. As Mark chases her, she runs into the road and Mark is hit by Susan's car as he tries to push her out of the way.