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Neighbours Episode 0674 from 1988 - NeighboursEpisodes.com
<<0673 - 0675>>
Episode title: 0674
Australian airdate: 03/03/88
UK airdate: 09/06/89
UK Gold: 01/06/95
Director: Kendal Flanagan
Summary/Images by: Graham
Beverly running out of the kitchen after the meal she cooked for the extended Robinson family is a disaster.
No. 26
Jim joins Beverly in the lounge room and tries to tell her that it's all right. Beverly, however, retorts that he doesn't know what an idiot she feels; she's made a fool of herself. Jim assures her that she hasn't: Helen's rescuing the meat and the vegetables. Beverly, however, exclaims:
BEVERLY: It's not the *food*; it's having to reveal my incompetence in front of the whole tribe - especially Helen.
JIM: Darling, you're *not* incompetent. That was a *beaut* dessert; it was just a shame that the handle broke... Nobody thinks badly of you, least of all Helen, so come back out and give her a hand.
BEVERLY (mutters): Why would Helen need a hand? By now, she's probably preparing a ten- course banquet for eight and a doggy bag for Bouncer on the side!
Jim pulls Beverly to him as she sighs that she can't even cook a leg of lamb for Sunday lunch. She adds that she intends to improve; she can't get much worse...
Back yard of No. 26
Todd and Katie are up in the cubby house in the back yard of No. 26. Katie asks her brother what Jim's going to do to Aunty Bev. Todd shrugs:
TODD: How would *I* know? Just hope he doesn't take it out on *us*.
Lucy emerges from the house and starts calling to the kids. She walks over to the cubby house and asks Todd and Katie why they came running out there. Todd replies:
TODD: To get out of the way. He hasn't started yelling yet, but he will.
LUCY (looking surprised): Yelling?! What for?
KATIE: Once mum dropped a plate of food on dad. He yelled the place down.
LUCY: That won't happen here. My dad doesn't yell - hardly ever!
TODD: Bet he'll chuck an aggro after that.
LUCY: No he won't.
TODD: Aunty Bev went running out of the room and he chased right after her.
LUCY: Yeah, to make her feel better.
TODD (disbelievingly): Sure...
At that moment, Jim walks over to them and tells the kids that they can come back inside now: they're about to make another attempt to serve lunch. He asks them to be especially nice to Beverly, as she's a bit embarrassed. Todd looks at Jim in surprise and says:
TODD: I don't get it. Aren't you angry?
JIM: Of course not! Come on - your aunty needs some cuddles.
No. 24
Harold and Madge are both sitting in the lounge room, reading books. Harold lets out a snort of derision suddenly and tells Madge that his book - 'How to Write a Bestseller' - says the most consistent themes of best- selling novels are sex, violence and horror. Madge muses:
MADGE: Really, Harold? In what order?! If you want to steam up your spectacles, why don't you read *this* one [she indicates her book]? It's got all three!
Harold sighs and asks why novels can't have a proper yarn like they used to: adventures... tales of courage... derring- do... Madge comments:
MADGE: You mean like 'Boys' Own Annual'.
HAROLD: Yes, yes, something like that. You remember Moby Dick?
MADGE (grins cheekily): How could I forget?
HAROLD: Now... no need to be personal!
Madge tells Harold to give *her* a good old- fashioned romance any day. Harold mutters that she likes that because of that Englishman that was flirting with her in the hotel. Madge tells him wearily not to start *that* again... Henry, Charlene and Scott come in from the back yard at that moment and Henry tells Harold that he can't hold it against Madge if she enjoys a little romantic intrigue! Harold insists:
HAROLD: I'm not unromantic! What about the night I proposed? Flowers... violins...
MADGE: Yes, but that seems a long time ago - and a woman needs a little romantic reminder from time- to- time.
HAROLD: Yes, well, I can't *afford* reminders. Have you any idea of the cost of roses these days?
HENRY: I bet that Pommy bloke wouldn't worry about the cost - not if he was really keen on someone...!
Harold mutters in annoyance that he's going for a dip. Madge tells him that that's a good idea: he can cool himself off! Harold grabs her arm and retorts that *she* could afford to do that too after all the lustful stuff she's been reading lately! The two of them head outside, leaving Henry to sigh that Harold's still not getting the message: if he'd only just set a date... Scott says:
SCOTT: You know what? I've got it: maybe Graham Clifford should strike again.
CHARLENE: No, he can't. He's in Brisbane. Mum would get suss if the envelope wasn't postmarked.
Henry, however, exclaims that it doesn't have to be a letter; it could be flowers. Scott points out to Henry that they're doing Mrs. Kerwood's garden this afternoon: she's got heaps of rose bushes. Henry exclaims that it's instant free romance. He asks Charlene if she could make it look like the rose came from a florist, and Charlene smiles that it's easy! Henry beams:
HENRY: Fantastic! *This* will get Harold thinking! We won't let the Robinsons get away with having *all* the weddings round here, will we...?!
No. 28
It's evening- time and Beverly is sitting with Eileen on the couch at No. 28, telling her that she's brought her a couple of leaflets about relaxation techniques: the top one has a method for relaxing yourself to sleep. Eileen murmurs that she supposes she could give them a try - but she'll wait for Desmond, as she has to tell him about the pills, and he's bringing Jamie home. She adds with a weak smile that she thinks she'll whip up some scones; Desmond *likes* scones! Beverly sighs:
BEVERLY: Oh, I wish *I* could say something like that: 'I'll just whip up some scones'... I'm having trouble catering for the hungry Robinsons.
EILEEN: Oh, you'll get the hang of it - practice is all you need.
BEVERLY: And cooking lessons. Eileen, I'm a complete dunderhead in the kitchen. Would you teach me some basic meals? If you can find the time, that is...
EILEEN: Doctor Marshall... Beverly... I appreciate what you're trying to do for me, but you don't have to give me therapy on your own time.
BEVERLY: Eileen, I genuinely need lessons. I tried a roast for lunch today and it was a total disaster.
EILEEN: Well, surely Helen can help?
BEVERLY (mutters): Helen...
EILEEN: She's been cooking for the Robinsons for *years*.
BEVERLY: Well, she's moved out and she does lead a busy life - she's got Frank Darcy's art exhibition opening soon.
Eileen nods that she vaguely remembers Helen telling her something about that. Beverly presses Eileen about the lessons and she nods eventually:
EILEEN: Well... all right, dear. I mean, I *am* going to go back to work at the Coffee Shop, but any evening, you just call me.
BEVERLY: Thank you.
At that moment, the front door opens and Des comes in, carrying Jamie in his crib. Eileen smiles at him that he's early! Des hands Jamie to his grandmother, who starts cooing over him. He sits down and Beverly asks him how Mr. Lawrence is. Des sighs that he's the same: they're controlling the pain by keeping him drugged up to the eyeballs, but he doesn't seem in his right mind half the time. A look crosses Eileen's face. Des goes on that Daphne's finding it a bit of a strain; he doesn't know how she keeps going. Beverly announces that she'd better be getting home. Eileen, however, says quickly:
EILEEN: Beverly, please wait.
A look of surprise crosses Des's face, and he asks what it is. Eileen replies:
EILEEN: Desmond, I have something I have to tell you. Beverly knows, and-
She breaks off and looks at Beverly, who assures her gently that she'll stay.
No. 26
Katie and Todd are sorting through a basket of clothes in the lounge room as Lucy does some ironing. Todd finds a school jumper and Lucy tells him that it's an old one of Scott's. Lucy asks Katie what *she's* wearing tomorrow. Katie replies that she's going to wear one of the new dresses Aunty Bev bought her - only they're too long. Todd suggests that she ask Beverly to take them up. Katie replies awkwardly that she did... She then holds one of the dresses up to herself: the length is all uneven! Lucy smiles and says *she* can fix it! Jim, who's sitting on the couch, tells the kids that it's time for bed. Beverly comes in at that moment and kisses Todd, Katie and Lucy goodnight. The three of them head off to their rooms. Beverly goes and sits down with Jim and sighs:
BEVERLY: Alone at last! This has been one of the longest and hardest days of my life.
JIM: It hasn't *all* been bad! The kids are accepting us more - and your lunch was responsible for that.
BEVERLY: How do you make *that* out?!
JIM: Well, they realised that not all people get upset and angry with each other when things go wrong. They feel more at home.
BEVERLY: Pity I had to make a spectacle of myself to get through to them!
JIM: Don't be too hard on yourself - I should've offered to make the lunch.
BEVERLY (exclaims): Hang on a minute! Are you telling me you can cook?
JIM: Well... sort of! I mean, Helen used to spoil us and do it for us all the time, but I know my way around the kitchen.
BEVERLY: Jim Robinson, I could cheerfully *throttle* you! If you're a better cook than I am - which seems likely, because most people *are* - from now on, you can start pulling your weight!
JIM (grins): Me and my big mouth!
BEVERLY: Don't worry - the next time I cook a family meal, nothing will go wrong!
No. 24
The next morning, Charlene and Scott are sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast while Madge talks on the 'phone. She hangs up and joins them. Charlene asks how their grandma is and Madge replies that she'll be all right - although she wishes she could be up there to keep an eye on her father. The front door opens suddenly and Henry dashes in holding a red rose and a card! He tells Madge excitedly that he met the delivery guy out the front! Scott suggests that perhaps it's from Harold?! Madge opens the card and then says:
MADGE: Listen to this! 'Until we meet again... Graham Clifford'!
The kids let out various oooos and ahhhs!
No. 28
Eileen is standing in the middle of the lounge room when Des emerges from the bedroom area. He asks his mother to grab the nipper from the nursery. Eileen, however, says stiffly that she's not happy about Jamie going to the Lassiter's crèche: he won't get the individual attention he could get if *she* stayed at home. Des insists:
DES: He'll be all right. You getting cold feet about Sally? Is that it?
EILEEN (hisses): It's embarrassing for both of us. Can't you understand? I'm going hot and cold.
DES: Just relax - it'll be all right.
The doorbell rings suddenly and Des goes and opens the door to Beverly, who says she was hoping she could catch Eileen. She steps into the house and asks Eileen if she's ready to brave the world. Eileen starts to protest that she needs a few days at home; she hardly slept a wink last night. Beverly just tells her that she has to face people sometime - today's a good a day as any. Des tells his mother that she'll sleep all right after a hard day at the Coffee Shop. Beverly adds:
BEVERLY: And if you can face it, I'd like my first cooking lesson tonight. I'll exhaust you - I promise!
Eileen stands there uncertainly. Des tells her encouragingly that if she can get herself off those pills, she can do *anything*.
No. 24
The red rose is in a vase on the kitchen counter. Madge is standing by the counter, checking her make- up using the mirror in her compact, when Harold comes in through the back door and offers her a lift to work. He glances at the rose as he passes it, but he ignores it. Madge asks him why he's got such a look on his face and he explains that he hasn't got a very pleasant day ahead of him: Eileen starts back at work and it isn't going to be easy; according to Mrs. Mangel, she's been behaving in a very peculiar manner lately. Madge tells him to just be as kind to her as possible and try and cheer her up. Harold retorts:
HAROLD: Well of *course* I'll be kind to her. It's how she and Sally get along that worries me.
MADGE: I'm sure Sally knows how to be tactful.
With that, she heads off to get her bag. When she's gone, Harold picks up the card next to the vase of flowers. He looks at it and an expression of horror crosses his face. Madge returns a few moments later and Harold indicates the card and demands:
HAROLD: Have you read this?
MADGE: Of course I have. It's got my name on it, hasn't it?!
HAROLD (indignantly): Well! Well, of all the cheek! That Englishman ought to know better. You are an engaged woman.
MADGE: Well obviously he didn't *know* that - and if he did, maybe it didn't concern him?
HAROLD: Well, it concerns *me*. 'Until we meet again...' You *encouraged* him, Madge!
MADGE: I did not! But I can't help it if I found him rather charming...!
HAROLD: What about *me*? I *love* you.
MADGE: Harold, I love you too, but [raising her voice] for goodness' sake could you please stop putting it off and set the date for the wedding? - because believe me, Harold, if you don't, a Graham Clifford or someone like him's going to come along and sweep me off my feet - and you'll only have yourself to blame.
Outside the Coffee Shop
Sally is placing condiments on one of the tables outside the Coffee Shop when Des and Eileen walk over the bridge towards her, arm in arm. Des smiles at Sally:
DES: G'day! Look who I've brought!
SALLY (warmly): Hello, Mrs. Clarke. Welcome back. Actually, I'm glad you're here - we've been rushed off our feet lately.
EILEEN (murmurs): The kitchen must be in a state of disorder, then.
SALLY: Well, I do try-
Des clears his throat none too subtly and Sally continues:
SALLY: But, um, I'm sure we could do with your supervision.
EILEEN: I'm always happy to pitch in and lend a hand when I'm needed.
With that, she glances at Des uncertainly and then heads inside. When she's gone, Des thanks Sally. He adds that his mother's a bit fragile, but she's on the mend. Sally comments:
SALLY: I'd better not tell her who I saw on the weekend, then.
DES: Dad?
SALLY: Yeah. He really wants to see you, Des.
DES: I want to see him, too. I still think he did the wrong thing by mum, but I haven't been avoiding him.
SALLY: Well, I'm 'phoning him later on today. What'll I say?
DES: Tell him as soon as the dust settles at home, I'll be over. But don't mention it to mum.
SALLY: I won't!
With that, Sally heads into the shop. Des goes to walk off as Madge and Harold approach the Coffee Shop, Harold asking Madge if she's got time to come in for a cup of tea. Madge, however, retorts bluntly:
MADGE: No thanks. Try me again sometime with a candle- lit dinner. I might say yes.
She walks off. Des wanders over to Harold and asks if everything's all right. Harold, however, sighs that it isn't really. He goes on that he sometimes wishes Madge worked somewhere else: some very undesirable characters go into public bars. Des asks if someone's been giving Madge a hard time. Harold mutters:
HAROLD: Oh, no, no, just the opposite, according to her. There was an English chappy there on Saturday, and do you know, he chatted her up, bold as brass, right under my nose!
DES: You don't say!
HAROLD: Oh well, the man was a rotter - anyone could see that. And then he had the cheek to write to her and send her a rose. But what *really* irks me is Madge seems to *enjoy* it.
DES: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. Madge is engaged to *you*. She's not interested in anyone else.
HAROLD: Oh no, of course not!
Des walks off, leaving Harold still looking worried.
No. 26
Beverly is trying to tidy up the lounge room when the doorbell rings. She opens it to find Helen standing on the step. She heads inside and looks at the mess. Beverly sighs at her:
BEVERLY: Your timing's perfect: another three minutes and the room would've been almost presentable - and I'm due at the surgery shortly.
Helen asks her if she can't spare just one minute so they can clear the air. Beverly insists that there isn't a problem. Helen, however, says she thinks there *is*. She goes on:
HELEN: I didn't *mean* to tread on your toes yesterday.
BEVERLY: You didn't. You helped me in a sticky situation and I'm grateful.
HELEN: Are you sure you didn't resent my help?
BEVERLY: Why should I resent it?
HELEN: Well... well, it was your family lunch and your husband's mother- in- law waltzed in and took over.
As she talks, Helen picks up a shirt from the floor and starts folding it. Beverly grabs it suddenly, though, and snaps:
BEVERLY: Will you stop doing that? You're so damned *good* at everything. No wonder it gets on my nerves.
Helen stares at Beverly in astonishment. Beverly apologises quickly, saying she didn't mean that. Helen smiles:
HELEN: I could try to do some things badly, if that would help!
Beverly grins in relief and gives Helen a hug. She assures her:
BEVERLY: Oh, I'm sorry, Helen. I don't resent you; I just wish you were still living here.
HELEN: What - to look after the house and do the cooking?
BEVERLY: No! [Sheepishly] Well, yes, partly - things went so smoothly when you were here.
The two women sit down on the couch and Helen tells Beverly that she's sorry: it was a tough decision for her, moving out, but it was the *right* decision. She then asks Beverly if she could help her; have a chat about how to organise meals. Beverly, however, assures her that it's all right: she's already asked Eileen Clarke for some cooking lessons. Helen smiles that that's good - a much better arrangement.
Outside the Coffee Shop
Two women are sitting at a table, laughing. Eileen is standing by another table as Sally passes by. She mutters:
EILEEN: I *knew* it.
SALLY: Pardon?
EILEEN: They're laughing at *me*.
SALLY: I don't think they're laughing at *you*, Mrs. Clarke.
EILEEN: I'm an object of ridicule.
SALLY: It's not true.
EILEEN: It's unfair. I'm not the *first* woman to be left at the altar and I certainly won't be the last.
SALLY: Look, nobody's talking about your or even *thinking* those things. You don't even *know* those ladies, do you?
EILEEN: No, but they probably know me by reputation: gossip spreads like wildfire in Erinsborough. Will *you* take their order? I don't want to go over there.
Sally does as she's asked. Eileen starts clearing the table she's standing next to. Harold walks over suddenly and asks if he can ask her something: he's trying to fathom how a woman's mind works. Eileen asks him distantly what he means. Harold says:
HAROLD: Why it is that women get so carried away with men just because they act romantically?
A look of horror crosses Eileen's face as he goes on:
HAROLD: I mean, you would think that before a woman goes head over heels about a man, she would at least worry about his character.
EILEEN (exclaims): Harold, how could you...?
He reaches out to Eileen in concern, but she snaps:
EILEEN: Don't touch me! How could you be so cruel?
HAROLD (blankly): What have I done?
EILEEN (sobs): Flinging my calamity in my face. How could you be so-?
She marches off, leaving Harold trying to explain that he was talking about *Madge*!
Madge is setting bar mats out on tables in the bar when the door is flung open and Graham Clifford walks in! Madge smiles that he's back from Brisbane already! Clifford, however, explains that he didn't get there - he's been in Erinsborough all weekend. Madge says:
MADGE: Oh, I wish I'd known. And I must thank you for that letter and the rose.
CLIFFORD (blankly): I'm sorry, Madge, I don't know what you're talking about.
A woman comes into the bar at that moment and Clifford introduces her to Madge as his wife, June. He tells Madge:
CLIFFORD: She's the reason I'm still here. Would you believe it: I was about to get a taxi to the airport on Saturday when a telegram arrived to say June was coming.
JUNE: I was missing him so much - and he's been promising me a proper holiday for *years*!
CLIFFORD: So here we are! Anyway, we're off to Brisbane together this afternoon.
He then asks Madge for a couple of bottles of wine with the Lassiter label. As Madge reaches under the bar to get them, Clifford asks her what she was saying about a letter and a rose. Madge, however, replies quickly:
MADGE: Oh, sorry, no, no, no, no, I made a mistake.
A sheepish, puzzled look crosses her face.
<<0673 - 0675>>
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Des Clarke in Neighbours Episode 0674
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Eileen Clarke, Beverly Robinson, Des Clarke in Neighbours Episode 0674
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Madge Ramsay, Harold Bishop in Neighbours Episode 0674
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Sally Wells, Eileen Clarke

Eileen Clarke in Neighbours Episode 0674
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Madge Ramsay

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