Madge tells Danny and Shane that they don't have to tell Max that Madge hasn't transferred the house to him - it won't be long before his heart gives out anyway, so there's no point(!) Max overhears the last part of this (as Madge planned). Madge gets up and sits him down on the sofa and makes him put his feet up while Shane pours him a drink and she goes off to get him a cake that she's baked.
MADGE: You know what they say, Max. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow...
Clive and Mike are having a chat in the street. Clive thinks that Mike should sort things out with Nikki, but Mike doesn't want to - he's too nervous to ask her out. Clive says that Mike just needs practice and gets Mike to practise on him(!)
MIKE:(to Clive) Nikki...I'm not doing anything tonight, would you like to go out somewhere?
CLIVE:(in a girly voice) What did you have in mind, Mike, the opera or the ballet?
They both laugh. Mike tries again.
MIKE: Nikki, uh...I would be honoured if you'd let me be your escort for this evening.
CLIVE: Gee, Mike, I don't know...
Clive tells Mike to just say what he feels, but Mike says it's worse than going to the dentist(!)
Shane is telling Jim and Helen about the joke on Max and they all laugh. Helen gives Nikki a list of things to get at the shop to get her out of the way - when she's gone, Helen tells them that Nikki's mother Laura is arriving tonight as a surprise.
Front garden of No.28
Des is trying to start his lawnmower when Max comes across and tells Des that he's his only friend(!) He reckons none of the family can wait until he's dead! Max threatens to tell everyone that Bradley is his son if he doesn't tell him what's going on. Des is forced to admit that Shane and Danny found out from his doctor that there was nothing wrong with his heart!
Max storms around to Clive's place to confront him. Max reckons that Clive set him up but Clive points out that he didn't - he just told Max to see a doctor! It's his fault that his family got involved!
Des has come to confess that he's told Max what's going on. Danny isn't chuffed but Madge reminds him that Des is his boss, so he'd better not say too much! Shane says Des isn't his boss so he calls him week-kneed! Madge doesn't think the rest of the street will be thrilled with Des's behaviour either.
Max is confronting Jim, but Jim says they were just paying him back in kind! Helen says that Max should have told the truth in the first place, but Max reckons he was enjoying being treated with respect, and not the "local flaming idiot".
HELEN: I've never called you the local flaming idiot.
JIM: Well, certainly not to your face.
Helen tries not to laugh and Max turns on Jim and says the joke's over - Des is the only friend he's got left. Then he storms out.
HELEN: Des? So that's how he found out!
Clive is cleaning his car when he sees Nikki coming up the street with groceries, so he send Mike over to chat to her. He chats about exams but can't get up the courage to ask her out. Clive hisses at Mike to help Nikki with her groceries, so he runs after her. They chat again and Mike asks her out tonight - but Nikki is already going out with Danny. She thanks him for asking, though.
When Nikki has gone into the house, Mike goes back to Clive.
CLIVE: How did it go?
MIKE: Danny beat me to it.
Clive and Mike come in through the back door. Clive tells Mike not to give up after a knock-back - Clive himself has had plenty in his time! He jokes that a lot of girls he's been out with were put off men for life after one date with him!
CLIVE: Boy meets girl...girl gets all giggly...boy asks girl out...
MIKE: Girl says "rack off"?
CLIVE: Sometimes, yes.
He goes to answer the door. It's Jim, come to talk to him about a client of his who is overseas - Jim has offered to hold a 10th birthday party for his daughter. Clive tells him not to worry - he'll organise clowns and games. Jim is a bit overwhelmed by Clive's enthusiasm, but Clive says he'll draw up a quote and let him have it tonight!
Madge, Danny and Shane are washing up. Max storms in and rants at them, but they rant back that he used his imaginary illness to take advantage of them - he even tried to take Madge's share of the house away! She tells him just to quite while he's ahead. They're curious as to how they got the truth out of Des, but Max isn't talking.
Nikki is all dressed up to go out to see a band with Danny in town, much to Helen's dismay. She tells Nikki that she has a surprise for her, so Nikki reluctantly agrees to miss the supporting band.
Shane, Danny and Madge are making up a list for Shane's engagement party. Danny says to put Clive on the list, but Max says Clive isn't welcome, and neither are Uncle Tom and "his brats"! He demands an apology, and reckons he won't speak to them again until he gets one. They don't look very concerned(!) Then he shouts that the engagement party is off!
Clive tells Des that he's not worried that he told Max, but the rest of the neighbours may not be so generous. Mike asks their advice about how to talk to women. Des reckons that girls don't like to be taken for granted, and advises him to open doors and generally be a gentleman. Clive thinks that's a bit over the top - a girl just wants a guy to be himself. Des and Clive start to argue over which of them has more success with women!
Danny is on the phone to Nikki and tells her he'll wait until she's ready to go. Madge tells Danny that she has an idea for getting the engagement party back and tells him in a loud voice that they can have it at the Robinsons. Max overhears this in the living room and is incensed. He shouts that no party will have his blessing. Madge and Danny giggle. Max reckons he wants all his property back from them, like the war medals and his swimming cup. Madge and Danny dissolve into giggles.
Nikki is moaning that she's late for the concert, but just then, her mother Laura arrives. Nikki is shocked.
LAURA: Well, don't just stand there. Haven't you got a kiss for your mum?