Callum and Piper are sitting in Harold's (in- line caption: PIPE UP)
CALLUM: What we're doing today is a tasting challenge!
They both grin at the camera.
CALLUM: You have to guess whether the candy I've brought is from the UK...
PIPER: Mmmm...
CALLUM: ...or America. Get it wrong, I get to taser you.
Piper pauses.
PIPER: I don't consent to that bit.
Callum holds a box up to the camera.
CALLUM: So, we're starting with...Milk Duds.
PIPER: Oh! So, I have to guess where they're from?
CALLUM: Yes.
PIPER: I feel like they're from, like, American movies, 'Milk Duds'...at the cinema? I'm going to go with the US.
CALLUM: Really? Good choice.
Piper has opened the box.
PIPER: This is not what I was expecting.
CALLUM: So, I brought them as a present for my family...but I mean, you know, family, you, not...
PIPER: They're really chewy...
CALLUM: Really?
PIPER: They're like toffee. It's just like chocolate- coated toffee. Like a butter- scotchy...
CALLUM: That's really getting wedged in my teeth!
PIPER: On to the next one!
Callum holds up another box.
CALLUM: Big Red!
PIPER: This is American.
CALLUM: Yes.
PIPER: American.
CALLUM: You're right, correct!
He claps.
PIPER: I've seen it in the movies, Big Red.
CALLUM: Well...
PIPER: Woah! You can even smell it from outside the wrapper.
CALLUM: Yeah...
They have now removed chewing gum sticks from the box.
PIPER AND CALLUM: Cheers!
They eat the chewing gum.
PIPER: It's a little bit spicy. There's a lot happening.
CALLUM: I've got a lot of saliva in my mouth...
PIPER: A lot of saliva.
She spits hers back into the wrapper.
CALLUM: Are we able to do the cinnamon challenge?
PIPER: No, because I've watched videos of people *dying*
CALLUM: Don't waste it, it's got so much flavour still!
He takes the half- chewed chewing gum off her and she laughs.
Callum holds up a third item to the camera.
CALLUM: Double Decker.
PIPER: Oooh! Is it double decker because of the buses?
CALLUM: Just...I believe so.
PIPER:(reading off the wrapper) Nougat top and crispy bottom...I'm going to guess...
CALLUM: ...just off the top of your head...
PIPER: ...the UK.
She bites into the Double Decker.
CALLUM: So many options...I'm going to have a bit...
PIPER: It's...you've got the crunch, you've got the chew...you need like a caramel, or a...
She holds up the Double Decker to the camera.
PIPER: You see what I mean?
CALLUM: It's just got those two, it doesn't have three, cos it's a double decker, not a triple decker...
He holds up another item.
CALLUM: OK, next, we're going...Club Orange.
PIPER: Oooh! British. Because I feel like Choc Orange is a big British combo.
CALLUM: You're correct!
Piper celebrates.
PIPER:(reading off the wrapper) Milk chocolate covered in a crunchy biscuit with orange flavoured cream?
She starts to open the packet.
CALLUM: Is that your English accent?
PIPER: No, it kind of just turned into that...
She is struggling with the packaging.
PIPER: I feel like these are like headphones, that I can't untie them...
Callum takes them off her and opens them.
PIPER: Oh, they're individual...!
CALLUM: There we go, we get one each! Pick one, pick one!
They eat the Club Orange biscuits.
PIPER:(appreciatively) Mmm. Do you reckon that's like all they...when they're making British candy and stuff, that's what they're thinking? Like, 'Will this go well with a cup of tea?'
She picks up the Double Decker.
PIPER: *Could* go with a cup of tea.
CALLUM:(affirmatively) Mmm.
She picks up the Club biscuit.
PIPER: *Definitely* could go with a cup of tea! Next candy!
Callum holds up another box.
CALLUM: Sour Patches.
PIPER: Oh, US. Against, just because of TV shows. How come you've got chocolate all over your fingers?
CALLUM: Because it melted so quickly.
PIPER: Why are you so hot?
He shrugs and Piper laughs.
CALLUM: It's a question I've been asking myself since...age thirteen.
PIPER: Speaking of that, I told Imogen that you were in town.
CALLUM: How is she?
PIPER: She's good. She said that you used to have a little crush on her.
CALLUM: Well...
PIPER:(to the camera) Imogen's my sister.
CALLUM: Mmmm, this candy is great.
PIPER: I'm getting, changing the subject, I'm getting...avoiding the question...lots of denial!
CALLUM: OK, you want to know, OK? I had my sixteenth birthday, invited her, she didn't come. She didn't come to the birthday dinner.
PIPER: Was it a party or a dinner?
CALLUM: Dinner.
PIPER: So it was obvious that she wasn't there?
CALLUM: Her seat was empty.
PIPER: Ooh! Back to the candy.
CALLUM: It's good to hear she's good, tell her hello.
PIPER: I probably won't.
He holds up another item.
CALLUM: Ice Breaker Sours.
PIPER: Oooh! I'm going to say the US because it says 'candy'
CALLUM: Correct.
Piper celebrates. Callum opens the packet and they gasp.
PIPER: This is just like multi- vitamins. It goes from mint to lolly to multi- vitamin.
Callum drops a few and picks them up and puts them back in the box.
CALLUM: My family will eat them!
He holds up a can of drink.
PIPER: Oooh! I'm going to say...UK, just because..."Bru"? Shall I look at the ingredients?
CALLUM: Served in an aluminium cup...
Piper opens the can.
PIPER:(American accent) Did y'all get that? Curious.
They pour the Irn- Bru into glasses.
PIPER: The colour...Woah!
CALLUM: Woooah!
PIPER AND CALLUM: Cheers!
They clink glasses, then drink from them.
CALLUM: English pop.
PIPER: It's everything it says it is.
CALLUM: Like orange...
PIPER: Sparkling soft drink with a unique blend of fruit flavours. This is making me very burpy!
Callum burps.
PIPER: Oh my God!
CALLUM: It was a baby burp! I've really enjoyed this.
PIPER: Me too!
CALLUM: Wasn't it cool?
PIPER: Fonas chek.
CALLUM: Oh, that's Dothraki!
PIPER: It so is!
CALLUM: Yeah!
PIPER: I obviously said it right because you knew what it meant, thank God!
CALLUM: Yeah, yeah!
They both look at the camera.
PIPER: Fonas chek!
