- Elissa tells Cassius he'll be alright, as there's no evidence linking him to Hamish's death
- Elly asks Mark if she likes his new sheets, just before they TITTNL™
- But she's surprised when Mark makes an excuse to disappear shortly afterwards
- David and Aaron tell Susan that they've arranged another celebrant to replace her
- Later, Susan accidentally breaks the celebrant's car bumper while cleaning her shoe
- It's revealed that the celebrant is Jemima Davies- Smythe, Karl's half- sister!
- Terese assures Susan that Jemima will be gone before she knows it
- But Susan's annoyed when she learns that Karl has invited Jemima to stay as long as she likes
Susan vehemently objects to Karl about Jemima staying with them. Karl urges compassion; Susan saw the house she'd been living in in Echuca.
SUSAN: I just wish that you had spoken to me first!
KARL: Do we really need to discuss whether or not we help a family member in need?
Before Susan can answer, Jemima emerges, having been unable to find bedsheets in the cupboard. Susan gives her some from the washing basket.
JEMIMA: I've seen less wrinkles on a Shar- Pei!
SUSAN: Well, they're sheets (!)
JEMIMA: There's a simple technique you can use when hanging that minimises that problem. I'd be very happy to show you sometime.
Before Susan can answer, Karl cuts things short, and Jemima heads to bed. Susan gives him a look.
SUSAN: I get that you're excited you found your sister, and I can see that you want to support her. But come on!
KARL: Oh, darling – bouncing from couch to couch can't be fun. Especially for people our age. She'll probably only be here for a few days – there's no harm in that, is there?
Susan grudgingly agrees.
Mark reports to Chloe and Elly that Aaron and David have departed for the winery on the peninsula for their honeymoon. They wonder what presents Aaron and David have been given. Chloe knows what Mark will have got them – French flax linen bedsheets, like he gets for everyone!
MARK: A good night's sleep is key to a better health, thank you very much!
On that very topic, Elly invites Mark to come and stay at hers, as it's past her bedtime. But Mark makes the excuse that he has to take all the presents back to No 24, and suggests Elly come there instead. She looks disappointed, but agrees.
Piper and Cassius are cuddled up in the conservatory, talking about the wedding. Cassius admits the speeches were really moving.
CASSIUS: It almost made up for the awkwardness of meeting Tyler's mum.
PIPER: What?! I reckon it went really well, considering. Fay doesn't think you're doing anything wrong, Cass.
CASSIUS: It must be so tough, having a son who's in prison. You've never really talked about what happened. But you can talk to me if you want.
PIPER: It was horrible. He didn't deserve twenty years.
CASSIUS: He could get parole.
PIPER: Yeah. Hopefully. That's still another ten years away. And the sentence was so much longer than any of us expected, because he was charged with murder and not manslaughter. Anyway, today was about Aaron and David, and it was happy – and I'd just – I'd rather focus on that.
But Cassius is looking pensive…
The next morning, Jemima is telling Bea the story of how she met Karl and Susan. Jemima also complains of a cricked neck.
JEMIMA: Not used to such a hard mattress, or a flat pillow!
SUSAN: … No, I imagine you're missing your own bed.
JEMIMA: Oh, small potatoes. Any old hay- bale will do me fine!
Elly comes in from Mark's, and gets acquainted with Jemima too. Elly heaps praise on her celebrant speech, much to Susan's annoyance.
JEMIMA: Thank you! I have always had a flair for rhyme.
Susan is even more annoyed when Karl explains that Bea is taking Jemima's car to the garage to look at it – and that they'll pay for the repairs, since it was Susan's fault! But forcing herself to make an effort, Susan offers to take Jemima out for coffee while Karl deals with all that.
Bea and Elly go into Elly's room, but Elly is distracted. Pressed by Bea, she explains that Mark seems to have an issue with staying over at the house; he's always coming up with some excuse. But he's totally fine with Elly staying at his house. Bea suggests she might be overthinking it, but Elly's convinced she's right…
Susan and Jemima are chatting over a coffee. Susan asks after her party planning business, Jem's Events – but Jemima explains she's closed the business. Susan asks if she's a full- time celebrant now, but Jemima says it's ‘more occasional'. Susan remarks that it must be hard to make ends meet.
JEMIMA: One always finds a way. You've never had to worry, though? Principal's salary and all that!
SUSAN: Oh – did Karl tell you that I'm a principal?
JEMIMA: I looked you up on ye olde tinterweb!
Susan admits she can't complain at her salary, and Jemima adds that she and Karl must be quite comfortable, with his doctor's wage too. Susan senses trouble, and assures Jemima they're not millionaires.
SUSAN: And Karl is nothing if not thrifty!
Susan offers to get the bill so they can go for a walk around the lake, but Jemima has her heart set on a crème brûlée – so Susan agrees to stay, and summons Sheila over to take their order.
Chloe turns up bearing coffee for Mark; she explains she's had to get out of the house to avoid the temptation to open all Aaron's presents! Bea is working under a car. Elly turns up for a chat with Mark, and takes him to one side – she wants to know why he never wants to sleep over at No 28. Chloe and Bea are both in earshot, however.
MARK: Why don't we discuss this later, hey?
ELLY: Babe, we made a commitment to each other to get rid of our old baggage, right? Just tell me.
MARK: … I'm just trying to be respectful, that's all. I mean, you do live with your auntie and uncle. And I am your sister's boss. And Bea did tell me that Karl's sister is staying with you, too. Isn't it easier if we just stay at mine?
ELLY: Are you sure there's nothing else?
MARK: Why don't you come over to my place tonight? I'll cook you dinner, and we can talk about it then.
Elly agrees, and leaves. Chloe takes a picture of Mark, because…
CHLOE: I wanted to capture the face of a big, fat fibber! (…) Your poker face needs serious work!
MARK: Thanks for the tip. But it's none of your business.
Bea emerges from under the car.
BEA: No, but it is mine. Why are you lying to my sister?
No 28 / The Waterhole
Karl is at home, on the phone to Susan at the pub, who is tittle- tattling about Jemima. She explains that she's been asking lots of questions about their salaries.
SUSAN: I can't shake the feeling that she's trying to take advantage of you financially.
KARL: Just because she's a bit down on her luck, doesn't mean she's a common grifter!
SUSAN: Well, she got you to pay for her car! Oh, and now she's ordering up a storm on my credit card!
KARL: That's because you offered to take her out, darling! She's just trying to get to know you.
Karl tells Susan to put it out of her mind, and try to enjoy herself. Susan grudgingly agrees, and looks over bitterly at Jemima who is enjoying her crème brûlée!
Cassius is just leaving Harold's with a coffee, when he finds an envelope on the floor addressed to Aaron and David. Looking at the reverse, he sees it's come from Tyler at Arthurton Correctional Facility. Looking around furtively, he stops and opens the envelope. It's a wedding card from Tyler to the happy couple.
It says, ‘I'm so happy for you both and wish more than anything I could be there with you for your big day. Have an incredible time. Love, Tyler.'
Cassius looks concerned.
Sheila brings over the bill for Susan and Jemima. Jemima suggests they ‘go Dutch' on the extensive tally of cakes, and Susan is pleasantly surprised. But by the time she's finished introducing Jemima to Sheila, Jemima has rifled through her bag and announces that she's left her purse at the house.
SHEILA (to Susan): Looks like you're coughing up today!
SUSAN: Yes, it does, doesn't it? (!)
Elly comes in and Susan invites her to join them. While Susan's paying up at the bar, Jemima notices that Elly looks glum and asks her what's wrong. Elly explains that situation about Mark not wanting to stay over. Jemima immediately guesses the problem – Elly is using cheap bedsheets, like her aunt's!
JEMIMA: Rookie mistake! (…) I had a dreadful night's sleep last night. I mean, no amount of flying sheep can make up for a low thread count.
ELLY: Yeah. Mark can be quite particular.
JEMIMA (glancing at Susan): Yes, and others? Not so much.
Karl turns up to collect Jemima's car from Mark – but he informs him that the broken bumper is the least of the car's problems. The brakes, clutch and gearbox are all in a bad way, and Mark can't let Karl take it back on the road without fixing them – which even at mates' rates will cost him well over $1,000!
Karl comes in and joins Susan and Jemima. He explains about the serious work that needed doing to the car, and that he's taken care of the bill so that the car will be roadworthy for a little longer. Susan is flabbergasted at the usually scroogish Karl's transformation, but Jemima seems super- grateful for his generosity, and says she's so glad they've connected!
While Jemima's in the loo, Susan demands to know why he went ahead and paid for the garage work without consulting her, especially given Susan's fears that Jemima is dodgy. Karl says it was an opportunity to do something nice for his sister.
KARL: I'm aware it's a big ask. But I like her. She's quite the wit.
SUSAN: Oh, is that what it's called? (!)
KARL: Well, she can be a little bit blunt.
SUSAN: Oh, yeah – especially to me!
KARL: Oh, darling, she's my sister! I want to get to know her better! Can't you put your misgivings aside just for me?
He goes to buy them all more coffee, and Susan sighs with annoyance.
Cassius gives Tyler's card to Mark, explaining that he found it on the floor outside.
MARK: Oh, man – this means a lot to Aaron. Thank you so much for finding it.
But Bea, who is getting a drink from the fridge, overhears this and looks suspiciously at Cassius. Once Cassius has gone, Bea asks Mark if he thinks it's weird that Piper is seeing Cassius, because of the reminder that Tyler's not around. Mark says he doesn't need much help being reminded of that.
MARK: Look, it's good that Piper's found someone. He seems like a decent enough guy, and she deserves to be happy.
But Bea doesn't look so convinced…
Mark arrives to see Elly – he wants to explain the truth about why he hasn't been staying over. But Elly tells him she's already figured it out with help from Jemima; he doesn't like her bedsheets!
MARK: I'm sorry I'm so weird! It's just, those are the most uncomfortable sheets I've ever slept on – and I promised myself I'd never do it again!
ELLY: You are like the Princess and the Pea!
Mark explains he didn't say anything because he didn't want Elly to have to go and buy new sheets just to pander to him. But Elly's already bought a set of French flax linens – and so has Mark! Now they have plenty to keep them in comfort for future sleepovers, there's nothing to stop them getting right on and TITTNL™…
Cassius is on his own at a table in the garden. Sheila asks if everything's okay with him and Piper; he says it is, but admits he met Fay yesterday, and it's got him thinking about Tyler.
CASSIUS: I can't really talk about him with Piper, but it's hard not to be curious (…) Do you mind if I ask you something? (…) Did the police ever suspect anyone else of murdering that Hamish guy?
SHEILA: Oh, only half the suburb – yours truly included! And Hamish wasn't too popular when everyone twigged that he'd been taking them all for a ride. And I don't like to speak ill of the dead, but that guy was a real scumbag.
CASSIUS: Right. What was Tyler like?
SHEILA: Oh, beautiful boy. And so good with Piper. I don't think he meant to kill Hamish. And I don't think they should've upped the charge to murder (…)
CASSIUS: What if there was other evidence to show that it wasn't murder? Could the charges be downgraded?
SHEILA: Oh, I think you'd have to ask Toadie that. It's all Greek to me. Look, love – don't worry about Tyler. It was a very difficult time for all of us; and Piper and Tyler, well – they're over now.
Cassius looks curious as Sheila leaves.
Indoors, Karl has introduced Jemima to Toadie, who is telling her all about Karl's recent love affair with durians.
TOADIE: I mean, have you ever smelt it? And then there's Karl, who wants to go and erect a big one!
Toadie tells Jemima that Karl and Susan have been like second parents to him; he wouldn't be who he is without them.
KARL: Let me get another round.
SHEILA: Oh, last of the big spenders?
TOADIE: Yeah, you need a hand dusting the cobwebs off that wallet, there, buddy?
JEMIMA: Am I missing something?
TOADIE: Oh, you'll soon come to learn that Karl is, in fact, a tightie!
Conversation moves back to gardening; Jemima says she adores it just like Karl. Susan tries to involve herself in the conversation but Jemima butts in, saying the green thumb must be hereditary. Susan fumes as Jemima witters on.
Piper and Cassius are having lunch in the office. Piper has to go to the pub to meet Toadie to go over some court admin, and tells Cassius to take his time – the door will lock itself when he leaves. Cassius watches Piper as she walks away, then heads to the filing cabinet and retrieves a case file marked, ‘Brennan, Tyler John'. He begins looking through it…
Mark and Elly are now naked, under the French flax linen sheets.
MARK: These sheets get softer and smoother every time you wash them! I guarantee you, these sheets will change your life.
He breaks off the commercial for a kiss, and Elly agrees that the sheets are quite luxurious.
MARK: I want to tell everyone.
ELLY: Do you own shares in a flax linen company or something?
MARK: You think I'm a freak, don't you?
ELLY: Well, everyone's got a little bit of freak about them.
MARK: Please – there is nothing even remotely freaky about you!
ELLY: Really? Well, I was thinking there's something that I'd really like you to do with me that might change your mind…
She whispers something in his ear, which makes Mark laugh out loud.
They disappear back under the sheets together…
Bea and Chloe are discussing Mark and Elly's bedsheet woes. Chloe reminds us that Mark is weird, lest we'd forgotten, and Bea says she also now has a weird relative in the form of Karl's long- lost half- sister.
CHLOE: We can keep a running weirdness tally!
As Chloe heads off to grab something from work, Bea sees Cassius leaving the Rebecchi Law office, looking suspicious and shoving something into his jacket. She looks concerned…
Coming up on Neighbours
- Mishti tells Dipi and Shane that Pavan wants to meet them; Dipi replies ‘already?'
- Dr Rob tells Amy it's okay if she's not interested in him; he'd rather she was upfront
- Gary asks Amy if something was ‘that bad'; she says ‘yeah'
- Susan tells Paul and Sheila that she thinks Jemima's hiding something; Sheila has a plan