- Harold is struggling with missing Madge, and asks Toadie to change his will
- Paul tries to convince Daniel to postpone his wedding to Amber
- Mark apologises for treating Paige badly
- Paige and Tyler kiss, but she runs off before they can take things further, saying she can't do this
We see an aerial view of the street from afar, with Susan's voice overlaid.
SUSAN: ‘There's no place in the world like Erinsborough…'
We cut to the photo exhibition, drifting over images of Ramsay Street residents past and present, as Susan's voiceover continues.
SUSAN: ‘The people, the families, the friendships – the memorable events that bind them together.'
Among the photos, we can see the likes of Annalise Hartman, Bouncer, Charlene Robinson, Daphne Clarke, Dorothy Burke, Helen Daniels, Joe Mangel, Kate Ramsay, Kerry Bishop, Lou Carpenter, Lucas Fitzgerald, Madge Bishop, Maria Ramsay, Max Ramsay, Mike Young, Nell Mangel, Serena Bishop, Shane Ramsay, Sophie Ramsay, Harold Bishop, Harry Ramsay, Henry Ramsay, Scott Robinson, Toadie Rebecchi and Valda Sheergold – among others this summariser was unable to identify.
We see preparations underway for the opening of the Erinsborough Festival, as Paul struts around proudly on the stage. Susan, Harold and Toadie's voices are overlaid.
SUSAN: ‘And what better way to celebrate the community than with the inaugural Erinsborough Festival?' Oh, what a lovely introduction to the programme guide!
HAROLD: Do you think Mayor Robinson may have written that?
TOADIE: Yeah, with a little help from Naomi.
Susan, Toadie and Harold are in the street talking about the festival, as Karl comes out to join them. Karl's excited because the Erinsborough trivia quiz (answers, where not given, in brackets in this summary!) has gone up on the festival website, and he intends to win it – so he's relieved to hear that Harold isn't entering, as he knows more about local history than Karl.
KARL: Anyone remember the name of Helen Daniels' car service?
(It was Home James.) As the others disperse, Harold looks nostalgically over at No 24, his old home. He has a flashback to 1999 inside the house, and Madge throwing a pair of socks in his tuba to shut him up (Episode 3246)! In the present, Harold smiles fondly. Lou turns up, and he and Harold prepare to drive to the festival for the opening.
As Tyler wanders into the kitchen (in just a towel, naturally), Naomi is showing Mark the festival website, and he asks how she came up with all the questions for the trivia quiz.
NAOMI: Extensive phone research. One woman, Nell Mangel, was especially helpful.
Mark and Naomi kiss, just as Paige shows up at the doorstep to collect a jacket she left here last night. It's a little awkward; and after Paige has departed and Tyler has gone to his room, Naomi asks Mark if Paige and Tyler are ‘on together'. Mark says he has no idea, but on Naomi's prompting, says he'd be fine with it if they were. Naomi rushes off to do festival business, but Mark looks worried.
Daniel and Amber come in to find Paul and Nick having lunch together. Daniel asks if Paul got their wedding invitation by email; he replies that he did, but doesn't make any further remark as to whether he might accept it!
AMBER: Lucky we didn't put a deadline on the RSVP (!)
Once Daniel and Amber are gone, Nick advises Paul that he won't stop the wedding by being awkward – he needs to make Daniel and Amber think he's on their side, and then they'll be putty in his hands. Paul smiles deviously.
Sheila, Lou and Harold are discussing who should be the Harold's Store representative on stage at the festival. Sheila thinks Harold, even though he hasn't worked there for years, because his name's on the door.
LOU: Well then, maybe I'll have it renamed Lou's.
SHEILA: Well then it'll sound like a public toilet!
Harold is too busy reminiscing to listen, though, recalling the squabbles that used to go on here. He suddenly asks Sheila if she's wearing a particular French perfume; she denies it. Lou recognises the name, saying Madge used to wear it, but he can't smell anything himself.
SHEILA: I don't think I squirted anything on myself this morning, but I probably smell like the meat tray I just put together!
LOU: Is that any different to your usual body odour?
Sheila chases Lou off stage- right, but Harold can still smell perfume in the air…
The festival is well underway, as Karl and Susan wander past the various stalls. Karl is still doing his trivia quiz.
KARL: When did The Waterhole change its name to Chez Chez? '95?
SUSAN: Err, ‘94.
KARL: You sure?
SUSAN: Yeah. It was the year we arrived. I remember talking to Cheryl Stark about it.
KARL: And who coached the Dingoes into the new millennium?
(It was Pat Miller in 2000- 01, when Paul McClain was on the under- 19s team.) Susan tells him to pay attention to the festival. But Karl spots Nate talking to some Dingoes team members, and demands to know what he's doing. Nate admits he's entering the trivia quiz.
KARL: Come on, you only just got here. I'm Mr Erinsborough.
NATE: Well then I say bring it, Mr Erinsborough!
Meanwhile, Naomi and Kyle are taking the wraps off a life- sized cardboard cut- out of Paul in his mayoral robes – except someone's put a moustache and glasses on it. Real Paul is not amused.
KYLE: Movember finished months ago, mate!
Paul tells Naomi to sort it out, before someone sees it!
KYLE: Don't worry, Auntie Nomes! Bad things come in threes.
NAOMI: How is that supposed to make me feel better?
KYLE: One down, two to go!
Meanwhile, Chris is with Toadie, who is making a video of the festival for Sonya and Callum. He films Margie serving some customers on the joint Harold's/Waterhole stall. They move on to a cupcake stall branded ‘Paddy Cakes' – where sure enough, they run into ex- resident Vanessa Villante (proprietor of Paddy Cakes) and her partner Lucas Fitzgerald, who are back in town for the festival.
Lucas and Vanessa have their daughter Sebastiana with them (her older brother Patrick is being babysat by Vanessa's mum Francesca), and Vanessa's now pregnant with their third child. Lucas gives Sebastiana to Chris to hold, and Chris explains that he's going to be a dad himself soon. Lucas and Vanessa look confused!
Nearby, Paige is telling Imogen how she kissed Tyler last night, then freaked out.
IMOGEN: Over Brennan?
PAIGE: It's getting really confusing when you don't call him Mark.
Imogen says she thought Paige was over Brennan/Mark, and Paige says she was – until she couldn't stop thinking about him. Right on cue, the brothers Brennan appear, both topless and carrying crates of beer at Naomi's behest – and Paige and Imogen sneak off through the bushes.
The Brennans see the sisters, and noting the awkward look on Paige's face, Mark asks Tyler what's going on there. Tyler admits that he and Paige have ‘fooled around a bit'. Mark tells Tyler that he and Paige dated for a while. Tyler tells Mark that that must be why she freaked out last night – she must still be hung up on Mark.
MARK: What?! No!
TYLER: It's the only explanation. But you're with Naomi now, so it shouldn't matter to you, right?
MARK: … Right.
But he looks worried.
Susan notices that there's a ‘for sale' notice on the board for Harold's motorhome, and asks Harold if that means he's staying in Erinsborough. Harold rather coldly tells Susan she'll be the first to know if he does, then wanders off distractedly.
Naomi and Sheila come in; Naomi's stressing about the two more bad things to come, as per Kyle's prediction – but Sheila just tells her to enjoy the moment, given how hard she's worked for the festival. Sheila mentions all the late nights Naomi's been doing, but Naomi reluctantly reveals that the reason she's been out late is that she's been seeing Mark. Sheila gets excited, but Naomi tells her she wants to keep it low- key – she doesn't want to jinx anything as she's ‘awful at relationships'.
SHEILA: Trust me – with you by his side, Constable Hottie will not look twice at anyone else!
Mark comes in and finds Paige sitting alone.
MARK: So, umm – you and Tyler.
PAIGE: We're not seriously having this conversation, are we?
Mark warns Paige (as ‘a friend') that Tyler can be a bit of a handful.
PAIGE: Well, at least he's not a liar, who said he can't commit to a relationship and then dates the girl next door.
Mark tries to explain about Naomi, but Paige tells him to leave her alone. Mark leaves just as Tyler comes in, and Tyler asks Paige what they were talking about – she says it was nothing.
TYLER: Look, I like you. But I'm not about to play second fiddle to my big brother. So if you've got some mixed up game planned, I'm out.
He leaves Paige looking worried.
Back at the festival, Susan is telling Karl about Harold selling his motorhome – she says she can't shake the feeling there's something not quite right with him. Nate jogs up with another trivia question.
NATE: Susan, you'll know – what years was Dorothy Burke principal?
The answer is 1990- 93, but Susan refuses to get involved in Karl and Nate's competitiveness. She does, however, stop outside the psychic's stall, to overhear Naomi angrily telling someone on the phone that she'll never hire them again. Naomi hangs up.
NAOMI: My psychic just pulled out because she had a bad premonition!
SUSAN: Oh, what a charlatan!
NAOMI: Phoney or not, I need a new mystic, right now!
SUSAN: Oh, come on. Anybody could do it.
Sure enough, soon afterwards, Susan is dressed up in a fortune teller's outfit, telling Lucas and Vanessa everything they need to know about their future – or more accurately, their present! – while Chris sits in on the act. Lucas and Vanessa ask about the gender of their unborn baby, so Susan looks into her crystal ball.
SUSAN: I see… that you won't be disappointed!
VANESSA: You are the best fortune teller ever!
Chris, Lucas and Vanessa leave Susan to her next victim – and Lucas suggests they'll have to organise some play- dates for their kids when Lucy's baby is born. Chris explains Lucy will be bringing up the baby in New York, but that he and Nate will make plenty of visits. Lucas and Vanessa look awkward, so Chris asks them what's wrong.
VANESSA: It's just…
LUCAS: Mate, once the little tucker comes along, you're not gonna want to be on the other side of the world. In fact, you're not gonna want to miss a minute of it. Honestly.
Sheila is trying to woo Harold with her spiced apple chutney and wood- smoked brie – but Lou, intervening, tells Harold he needs to go and fetch some chairs for the stall from the Community Centre. Harold goes off to obey, and Sheila accuses Lou of always having to spoil things! But as Harold is about to leave the store, he hears what sounds like Madge's voice calling him. He thinks it's Sheila, but she denies saying anything – so he leaves, perplexed, saying he'll be back soon.
Harold is down by the lake, smiling fondly as he has another flashback – this time to much earlier (Episode 505, in 1987), when he was here with Madge.
HAROLD: I will reconsider my position, I can tell you.
MADGE: Good. That'll make it easy for you.
Madge takes off her engagement ring.
MADGE: You can take your ring, and go jump in the lake!
She flings it in the lake.
HAROLD: Madge! No! You don't understand…
As Madge stomps off, Harold wades into the lake to retrieve the ring, dipping his head in to see if he can see it! Back in the present, he looks sad and lonely.
Karl is by himself, still doing the trivia quiz on his phone.
KARL: What destroyed Lassiter's in 2004? It was a fire… A garment designed by Donna Freedman?
Nate creeps up on him.
KARL: Oh, yes, very good. Bet you're struggling with Question 14, though. Who won the gardening competition in 1989?
It was Joe Mangel, but Nate isn't telling Karl!
KARL: You don't know.
NATE: Of course I do! And I also know that the prize was a gift voucher, a Zodiac Guide to Gardening, and a silver trowel!
KARL: Those were the bonus points…
NATE: Face it, I'm killing it! Just one question to go…
KARL: Yes, me too.
KARL and NATE: Question 30.
NATE: Who won the 1987 Ramsay Street Olympics?
PAUL: The competition was declared void when Daniel's mum Charlene dropped her baton.
Having got the final answer, Karl and Nate submit their quiz entries, each confident they've won.
Nick watches from a distance as Paul comes in, and approaches Daniel and Amber. Paul tells them he's contributing some supplies towards their picnic baskets for their wedding, and insists there's no catch. The pair are thrilled, and Daniel leaps up to give Paul a hug – while Nick smirks to himself at his table.
Naomi comes in and tells Susan and Toadie that the second of the three bad things that Kyle predicted has happened.
NAOMI: My statue just got gastro and I need to find a replacement.
SUSAN: How does a statue get gastro?
Naomi explains it's not a real statue, but a street performer painted in gold, and asks for volunteers…
Outside the Community Centre
Sure enough, Toadie is soon clad in a hat, costume and gold spray- paint from head to toe! Naomi tells him how much she appreciates it, especially given their past – but Toadie says it's all water under the bridge.
Karl is walking by when he sees Harold sitting in his motorhome, looking like he's in a trance. Karl asks if he's okay and Harold says he's just having a breather. Karl asks Harold about him selling his van. Harold simply says he's ready for a change, and tells Karl to go and enjoy the festival, insisting he's fine.
Toadie tries to remain motionless in his new statue performer role, while Kyle does everything possible to make him move without touching him. Eventually Kyle provokes Toadie into moving, and he growls – causing Kyle to leap backwards onto the grass in fear! Kyle walks away, humiliated, and Paul walks past, laughing at Toadie.
Harold is fetching the chairs for the stall, and stops to have a look at the photo exhibition. Among the additional Erinsborough residents we can see this time are Amber Turner, Billy Kennedy, Clive Gibbons, Debbie Martin, Donna Freedman, Dylan Timmins, Gail Robinson, Hannah Martin, Hilary Robinson, Imogen Willis, Julie Martin, Karl Kennedy, Naomi Canning, Paul Robinson, Peter Hannay, Philip Martin, Rosemary Daniels, Sarah Beaumont, Sheila Canning and Sky Mangel.
Lou comes in, saying he's just seen Karl, who said Harold didn't seem to be feeling too good. Getting irritated now, Harold says he's fine.
HAROLD: My only problem is people asking me if there's a problem!
LOU: Well perhaps you'd sooner live in a world where nobody cared about you!
HAROLD: Well at least I'd get some peace and quiet!
Harold apologises for biting Lou's head off – and says that seeing everyone enjoying the festival has just made him a little sentimental. Lou says that's half the point of it, and Harold says he knows that – so asks Lou to tell everyone to stop fussing, including Sheila. Lou hurries Harold along with the chairs, but Harold is staring wistfully at a picture of him and Madge on his wedding day.
Harold is in the motorhome again, looking at No 24. He has another flashback, this time to 1998 (Episode 3160) and a traditional Ramsay Street turf war! Lou has set up a barbecue on Harold and Madge's front drive to stake a territorial claim – and Harold is trying to scare him off by playing the tuba, while Madge accompanies him on the tambourine! A car flies past and a horn sounds.
Back in the present, Harold looks sad again, and starts up the motorhome.
The Salvation Army Band is playing on the stage while Amber, Daniel, Toadie, Vanessa, Kyle, Paul, Sheila, Lou, Mark, Tyler, Imogen , Lucas, Chris, Nate, Susan and Paige all watch, amongst a crowd of extras. They all applaud when the band finishes, and Naomi comes onto the stage to introduce Mayor Robinson – which attracts notably less applause, especially from Karl, until Susan nudges him!
PAUL: Well, welcome everybody to the inaugural Erinsborough Festival. Two whole weeks of cultural events, celebrating this special community that I am so very, very proud to be a part of.
While Paul's talking, we see Naomi and Mark being all kissy and couply, Paige looking suitably upset, and Tyler winking at Imogen, who can't help but smile. Karl and Nate then goad each other as Paul prepares to announce the winner of the trivia quiz!
PAUL: Now, the first entrant to submit all correct answers was… Reg Watson!
KARL and NATE: Who?!
PAUL: You there, Reg?
SUSAN: Never mind, darling. You'll always be Mr Erinsborough to me.
But Reg is nowhere to be seen, so Paul promises to track him down later! Meanwhile, Karl tells Susan about Harold saying he's selling his van because he wanted a change.
KARL: I don't think we should read too much into it. I think he'll be fine.
Harold drives his motorhome past the garage, looking increasingly agitated.
As Paul continues his speech, welcoming the festival's corporate sponsors onto the stage, we hear ‘In The Hall of The Mountain King' by Edvard Grieg, getting gradually louder.
As the music continues, Harold continues to drive the motorhome past the History Wall – Madge's voice going round and round in his head.
MADGE: Harold! … Harold! … Harold! … Harold! … Yes, the silly old fool, after all these years!
The music gets louder.
As the motorhome approaches the festival, Harold slams on the brakes to avoid crashing into some stalls, and swerves towards the stage, just as the sponsors are coming up to take their bows. Men in suits are seen diving out of the path of the motorhome, as it smashes down the cardboard cut- out of Paul and continues on its merry way!
More festival- goers dive out of the way, as Harold's van ploughs straight into a fruit and vegetable stall! Everybody gasps, as water from a ruptured pipeline sprays into the air. Sheila starts having palpitations, and Lou, Paul and others look worried.
His van now stopped, Harold is unconscious, appearing to have hit his head on the steering wheel. He gradually wakes up, to hear a familiar voice.
MADGE: Oh, Harold!
Madge, appearing to be very much alive, is sitting in the passenger seat! She shakes her head at him wearily.
MADGE: What have you done?!
Harold stares at Madge, totally gobsmacked!
- Harold is in hospital, but tells Karl that everything's wonderful
- It looks like Madge is sticking around, and she looks happy to be reunited with Harold
- Dr Nick is smirking, and Kyle asks Georgia whether he should be jealous
- Dimato hands Matt another envelope, and Matt asks Lauren if she wants a divorce
- Paige seems jealous of Mark and Naomi, while Naomi tells Mark to say if he'd rather be with Paige
Along with the guest cast, an acknowledgement in today's closing credits (presumably for the exhibition photographs) reads ‘Thank you to 30 years of Neighbours cast members'.