Previously on Neighbours
- The residents ponder over the identity of erotic fiction writer EM Williams
- Sonya's TITTNL- drive spirals down the drain when she learns Karl wrote the Book of Secrets
- Chris suggests he could be both Kyle's best man and Georgia's bridesmaid
- Amber is sad to see Paige and Lauren getting on like a house on fire
- Daniel asks Amber to move in with him
Amber is telling Chris about Daniel asking her to move in. She admits that she may have told him she thinks it's a good idea, but is clearly regretting it now. Chris suggests that Amber tell Daniel the truth.
AMBER: How? He's so happy! In his universe, this makes perfect sense!
CHRIS: Oh, yeah. The universe where you date for a couple of weeks and then you shack up?
Chris suggests that Amber remember exactly what she said to Daniel, so they know what they're up against. Cue flashback of Daniel asking her to move in. Amber looks horrified, while saying the words: ‘Wow, that sounds like a great idea!'
AMBER: There's no way that sounded like a yes, right?!
Chris suggests Daniel might have had a change of heart by now.
Suite 1 Eclipse Apartments
Paul is oddly casual about the idea of Amber moving in, when Daniel enthusiastically asks him if it's okay. He asks if Matt and Lauren know, and Daniel claims she's gone to tell them it's happening, whether they like it or not. Daniel flashes back to his own memory of the conversation. Amber still says: ‘Wow, that sounds like a great idea!' but looks ecstatically happy while doing so! Paul advises Daniel to think twice before rushing into anything, but Daniel says they know what they're doing.
Lucy arrives in the back yard – she's come to meet Chris, and they kiss and hug. He explains he's been helping a friend in need.
LUCY: I'm starting to think you're Erinsborough's answer to Dr Phil.
CHRIS: I just hope you weren't too bored waiting for me.
LUCY: No, no. I love looking around! Do you know, this was the house that Paul and I grew up in.
CHRIS: Yeah, it's got a lot of history, doesn't it?
LUCY: Do you know, there used to be a big tree right over there. And we had a totem tennis pole here, and we used to have this slippery slide there, which Bouncer used to love.
LUCY: Yeah. He was my dog.
They decide to get on with the crucial work of organising the stag and hen parties for Kyle and Georgia, as well as carrying out a wedding ‘cake critique', which was Chris's idea. Kyle turns up looking for Sheila, but she's at work. He explains he was supposed to babysit Nell for Sonya and Toadie, but he's flat out with work, and Georgia's busy talking to her booking agent about gigs. Lucy suggests that she and Chris could mind Nell once they've picked up the cake samples. Chris agrees, on the proviso that Lucy changes the nappies.
A row of sample cake slices is spread out on the table. Sonya thanks Lucy and Chris for agreeing to look after Nell, and Toadie stumbles in, clearly still in pain from having broken his coccyx. Toadie reaches greedily for the chocolate fudge cake.
SONYA: No cake for you, it's gonna clog you up.
TOADIE: You know what? Seriously, never fracture your coccyx. You don't get any sympathy. And it's no fun in the kitchen, it's no fun in the bedroom… If you know what I mean?
CHRIS: Yeah, got it. Thanks for the overshare.
SONYA: I think even Nell would have known what you meant, Jarrod.
Toadie and Sonya head off for Toadie's hospital check- up, while Chris and Lucy get started on the cake tasting. They seem to be getting along very well considering they're virtually strangers, and joke about the two of them getting married.
Karl examines Toadie, who's laid out on his front, while Sonya spectates. Karl says that with plenty of bed rest, he should be on the road to full recovery.
TOADIE: Bed rest, eh? Is that another one of your colourful euphemisms?
KARL: Excuse me?!
TOADIE: Ah, come on, you don't need to be shy! We all know it's you, you purveyor of filth! EM Williams!
Karl reminds Toadie that the Book of Secrets is erotica, not filth.
KARL: It's perfectly naturally to indulge in a little bit of fa–
TOADIE: You can call it whatever fancy name you want, buddy. We all know it simply as P.O.R...
Sonya's clearly uncomfortable and doesn't want to discuss this. Karl grabs Toadie's back and he shrieks out in pain.
TOADIE: Is this some kind of payback for my literary criticism?
KARL: Don't be silly, I'm just doing my job. Have you two been taking it easy in the bedroom?
TOADIE: How is that any of your business, you filthy man?
KARL: Any activity that requires movement of the pelvis could exacerbate the injury.
SONYA: We're abstaining. Don't worry about that.
TOADIE: Yeah, if we ever have problems resisting the urge, all we have to do is think about you writing that book, eh, Doctor Dirty?
Suite 1 Eclipse Apartments
Daniel is playing a miniature guitar when Paul comes in – he's found it while clearing out his room for Amber's arrival. Daniel tells Paul that HR called, and wanted to know when he's coming off leave and back to work – they sounded pretty uptight. Paul looks uncomfortable.
Amber turns up. She tells Daniel she hasn't told her parents about moving in with him yet, but that she just ran into Imogen, who's annoyed that Hermione the car is at Lassiter's. Daniel offers to move it for her, but Amber says it's better if she faces Imogen alone. Daniel gives her the keycard for the car park, and explains he's been clearing out in preparation for her moving in. Amber looks uncomfortable, and Paul notices.
Once Amber's gone, Paul says it didn't look much like she wanted to move in. But Daniel's convinced that Amber would have said something if she didn't want to.
Amber meets Imogen so they can retrieve the car, Imogen still clearly upset with Amber. Amber says the lift would be quickest.
IMOGEN: You know all the short cuts. It's like you practically live here (!)
AMBER: Would it be such a bad thing if I did? This place is beautiful. It's got a gym, and a pool. A whole army of people at your beck and call.
IMOGEN: Paige was right. You are a princess.
Amber admits she's thinking of moving in with Daniel, partly to get away from the craziness at home with Paige, which has made Amber feel like she doesn't belong. Imogen thinks the plan's completely crazy, and tells her that she can't solve her problems by running away.
AMBER: Thank you.
IMOGEN: For what?
AMBER: Giving to me straight. I needed that. I miss that.
IMOGEN: Look, are you going to open the garage for me, or what?
Chris and Lucy have narrowed down the cake options to three, while looking after Nell. They've also decided on a Great Gatsby theme for the hen and bucks' nights, which will start separately but culminate in a joint party at the Waterhole. Chris thanks Lucy for all her help organising it.
LUCY: Have you ever thought of getting married? Besides to me, of course?
CHRIS: Well, in case you haven't heard, same- sex marriage is illegal in Australia.
LUCY: Well, you know you could always do it in New Zealand, or New York.
But Chris points out he's single anyway. Lucy tells him about her own recent break- up, and is wondering if she's destined to be alone. Chris has had the same feelings, but has decided there's nothing wrong with being without a partner.
CHRIS: Because really, apart from the obvious, there's nothing that I can't really get from my friends.
Sheila teases Toadie about his ‘life buoy' that he's carrying round to sit on.
TOADIE: Yeah, yeah. You fracture your coccyx and suddenly everyone's a comedian.
She directs his attention to the Book of Secrets sweepstakes board – the Waterhole is taking bets on the real identity of EM Williams. The full list of odds, gleaned through painstaking freeze- framery, are as follows: Georgia (35- 1); Kyle (80- 1); Sheila (10- 1); Brennan (65- 1); Lou (120- 1); Naomi (30- 1), Karl (100- 1), Susan (5- 1), Sonya (15- 1), Toadie (20- 1), Paul (200- 1), Chris (14- 1), Matt (25- 1), Lauren (no odds), Brad (32- 1) and Terese (6- 1).
Susan and Karl are drinking at a table nearby, and Susan's amused to see she's the favourite.
TOADIE: I see there's no love for Doctor K yet?
SHEILA: Well, have you seen the cheesy rubbish that passes for a Right Prescription love song? I can't blame people for not wanting to waste their pennies on him. No offence, Karl!
Toadie decides to cheat shamelessly, and puts $20 on Karl.
KARL: Is this actually legal?!
SHEILA: Oh, loosen up Karl.
Karl says there should be a rule which disqualifies Ramsay Street residents from betting, since they know the author is among them. But Sheila says all bets are welcome, and Toadie gloats.
Sonya comes in to pick up Nell, as she's about to head for dinner with Toadie. But Lucy says she and Chris were about to take Nell for a walk, and the pair offers to keep looking after her for a while longer.
While Chris takes Nell in the other room to retrieve her beanie, Sonya remarks to Lucy that the two of them seem to be getting along very well.
LUCY: He says that I remind him a bit of Tash. I don't know whether I should be flattered or insulted. I mean, I know there's a bit of an age difference. But we've got a similar sense of humour and outlook.
Sonya explains she helped Chris through some tricky times lately with his family, and Lucy digs for more information, asking whether Chris's mum and dad are still around. Sonya says Chris's parents are traditional, but supportive. Lucy seems pleased by this information.
Georgia is telling Kyle that she's booked a gig in Colac, so will take the opportunity to see her parents in Birregurra. She's also warming to the idea of singing herself at their wedding.
KYLE: Well as long as I don't have to serenade back, we're all good.
Meanwhile, Karl is complaining that Toadie is going to make a fortune from his dodgy bet – but Susan points out that unless he gives himself up, there's nothing they can do. Karl decides Susan should place a bet as well.
KARL: Oh, come on, it's money for jam! We might as well get something out of this.
Susan is horrified, but Karl points out that Paul can afford it – it would pay for a golfing holiday for them!
SUSAN: Alright, but this time we stay at the resort. Not out at some cheap motel in the middle of nowhere!
Susan goes to the bar, ordering a glass of Malbec for Karl, and rather unsubtly putting a $20 bet on Karl being EM Williams.
SHEILA: Hmm. Those odds suddenly looking good, are they?
TOADIE: Do you know something that we don't, Susan?
Susan claims she's just trying to give Karl's ego a boost. Sheila is suspicious, so Susan tries to cover her tracks by placing a second bet on Terese!
Suite 1 Eclipse Apartments
Daniel is excitedly showing Amber around the penthouse, but she finally plucks up the courage to tell him she's not going to move in with him. She says he loves him, but that it's way too early for them to be living together – she wants to take things at a more sensible pace. Plus her family need her, and she can't run away. Amber admits she spoke to Imogen about it, but says she hasn't forgiven her yet for cheating on Josh. Amber and Daniel kiss.
Sonya has joined Karl, Susan and Toadie at a table – evidently they've told her about the bets they've placed.
SONYA: You're all disgraceful!
KARL: Shh, Sheila will hear you! Oh, great – now she's coming over.
Sheila's given Karl new odds in light of the surprise bets, which he pretends to be flattered by. He makes out he hasn't even read the Book of Secrets, and Sheila laughs along, saying she's read it six times.
SHEILA: You should give it a chance. ‘The shy librarian catches the eye of the handsome art dealer. He sees her across the bar, and boom! With nothing more than a lustful glance, he takes the glass of Shiraz from Arabella's hands…
SHEILA: Oh, I knew it! You wrote it! Ah, yes, I joined the dots when Susan ordered the Malbec!
Everyone gasps in shock, and Karl begs Sheila not to tell anyone. But unwilling to let Karl rig the bet, she quickly announces it to the entire bar, mainly comprising a small group of unimpressed- looking extras. All bets are now off, she announces. Sheila tells Karl he should be ashamed of himself for trying to scam the bar, and Karl's attempts to implicate Toadie too fall on deaf ears!
SHEILA: Oh, don't start accusing an innocent cripple! I thought the creator of Constantine would have more class.
She walks away.
Suite 1 Eclipse Apartments
Daniel is strumming the guitar on the balcony, looking sad. Paul comes out, and Daniel explains he's ‘bummed out' because Amber's decided not to move in. Paul says it's probably for the best – he explains he's been talking to Daniel's mum, and that she said Daniel can be a bit impulsive when It comes to girls.
PAUL: She also told me the story behind that tattoo of yours.
DANIEL: So, Rain was a big part of my life!
PAUL: But you only knew her for a week when you got it done.
Daniel concedes the point, but claims that he and Amber are for real.
PAUL: Yeah, Charlene said you'd say that.
DANIEL: It's the truth. I've never felt this way before.
PAUL: Hmm. She said you'd probably say something like that as well.
Paul advises Daniel to slow down – if Amber's really the love of his life, she isn't going anywhere. Daniel smiles.
Chris and Lucy are having a drink in the garden, after their exhausting day looking after Nell. They agree that they both had a lot of fun. Lucy suddenly declares that Chris is one of the best guys she's ever met.
LUCY: How would you feel about us having a baby together?
Once he's stopped laughing and realised she's serious, we pan in for a perplexed Pappas close- up.
Monday on Neighbours
- Chris tells Kyle that this could be his best chance to be a dad
- Chris tells Lucy how flattered he is at her proposal
- School antagonist Hayley and a band of tittering extras tease Susan about Karl's erotic novel
- After a friendly conversation, Naomi starts checking out Josh's bum!