Previously on Neighbours
- Lou discovers that his ancestors all died in the week leading up to their 70th birthdays, and it's his 70th this week.
- Sheila is hassled by a kerb crawler
- Bailey tells Josie that Imogen wouldn't be interested in Callum
- Callum and Rani individually tell Bailey she doesn't want him to go to London. Bailey blames Callum, saying it's revenge because Rani chose him.
Sonya wants advice on what to wear for the gym. Nell is about as interested as me. Toadie doesn't have an opinion. Callum comes in, and Sonya reminds him that Imogen will be late. He replies sulkily, and Toadie assures him he did the right thing.
SONYA: Hey, Bailey was only shooting the messenger. It's going to be OK.
CALLUM: Yeah, and the messenger will still be dead.
TOADIE: It was a metaphor.
CALLUM: Yeah, for our friendship. Cos it is dead. It was executed gangland- style by Bailey Turner.
Callum doesn't want any more advice given what happened last time. Toadie says he had no choice, and Sonya is sure Bailey will apologise.
Josie tells Callum that what Bailey did was definitely not cool. Callum thinks that best friends should sort stuff out when they fight. Josie suggests that Bailey thinks of him as a sidekick, not a friend. Sonya passes by, saying she likes Josie's hair (she calls her Tessie). Josie reiterates her theory of Callum as sidekick:
JOSIE: And not a cool sidekick like Peeta to Katniss, but a subservient serf one like Sam Gamgee to Frodo.
CALLUM: But they were friends.
JOSIE: That's what Sam thought, but who carried the luggage, killed Shelob and kept an eye on Gollum all the way to Mount Doom?
JOSIE: AKA Callum. And who got all the credit?
JOSIE: AKA Bailey.
Josie says that a true friend would stick by you, no matter what. Callum agrees, saying if Bailey doesn't make the best apology in history, they're done.
Lou insists that he doesn't want a party. Lauren is surprised, as she thought he was looking forward to it.
LOU: I would like to take these last few moments for reflection and thinking.
LAUREN: Last few moments?
LOU: Uh, of my 60s.
He tells Lauren he loves her, and tells Matt that he means a lot as well. Lauren wonders what's got into him. Matt suggests that maybe his birthday is getting him down. Lauren says she'll throw the surprise party anyway. Matt points out that maybe he meant it when he said he didn't want a party.
Chris comes into the kitchen. He hasn't been sleeping much, but at least he hasn't been walking the streets. Sheila says that Karl is a wise, wise man. Chris says that she ought to go and see him about what happened the other night. Sheila claims to be fine. Chris says he wouldn't be.
CHRIS: But then, if I was in your shoes, I would have run a pub in Frankston for 20 years and dealt with a lot of weird folk. So now I see why you're so cool.
SHEILA: Well, I think you should hop out of my shoes, because they don't suit you, and get to work.
Chris leaves, and bangs the door on his way out. Sheila is startled and drops the cutlery she was holding.
Bailey comes in and throws away some travel books, given that he isn't applying for the grant. He supposes that his parents are happy now. Matt says that he's sorry Bailey is going through this.
BAILEY: Yeah, well, I can't really complain. I guess it's only karma.
Lauren and Matt suggest that Bailey should go and sort things out with Callum.
Bailey comes over and finds Callum and apologises, saying that he said some "pretty dumb things", and that Callum has always been there to support him. Bailey says it mostly his fault.
BAILEY: Yeah, it's only natural that you still feel a little annoyed about what happened with Rani.
CALLUM: So, what?
BAILEY: So there must have been some truth in what I said. But I am 95% in the wrong.
CALLUM: (looks disgusted)
BAILEY: OK, 99.5%
CALLUM: You are such a tool.
BAILEY: I'm sorry?
CALLUM: I want you to apologise for being 100% in the wrong with 10% interest for starting this whole fight.
BAILEY: I did just apologise to you.
CALLUM: No, you left out 0.5%, OK? You don't get to do that.
Callum threatens him with a pot plant, and Bailey leaves.
Sheila brings Lou a dessert, saying she was going to bring a triple bypass, but thought he'd be getting one soon anyway. She tells him she's tired of him going on as if he had a terminal illness, since it's insulting to people are really ill. As you get older, life gets scarier, but you can't let it beat you.
LOU: Maybe if I make it past this birthday I will be OK. What do you think?
SHEILA: I think you're still crazy but the levels have decreased.
Lou decides to go home, avoiding anything dangerous. He's going to read War and Peace!
Lou is reading War and Peace, when he spots some muffins topped with nuts on the counter.
Sheila tells Lauren she's pleased that the surprise party is going ahead - it's what Lou needs.
Lou starts eating a muffin.
Sheila says that Lou is worried about turning 70. Lauren hopes he'll enjoy his party. Sheila is sure he will, as he loves being the centre of attention.
SHEILA: I can see it now. He'll be choking on the emotion.
In fact, Lou is choking on a muffin.
Lauren has organised a surprise guest for the party. Exciting. Let's hope Lou makes it…
Imogen wanders in, looking for Amber. Lou has just recovered.
LOU: I just saw my life flashing before my eyes. Wives, business partners, girlfriends...even Annalise
Lou says it's been a wonderful life and he's going to do something about it, leaving Imogen just standing there.
Callum tells Josie he got mad with Bailey, as Bailey clearly regards him as a sidekick. Josie tells him he was quite entitled to get mad. She offers to shout him lunch. Imogen arrives, and Callum admires her hair. Imogen tells him he shouldn't exploit Josie, and he tells her to go home. She looks upset, but he doesn't notice - he goes off chatting with Imogen.
Hospital - outside
Karl is puzzled why Lou wants to know his chances of dying randomly, and asks if it has anything to do with his 70th birthday, which Lou admits. Lou tells Karl how his father and grandfather died - which Karl explains away.
LOU: My great- grandfather died in a riding accident.
KARL: Then steer well clear of horses.
Karl tells Lou he's in exceptional health in the circumstances: 70 is the new 60. Lou begs Karl to give him a check- up (as a birthday present) and eventually Karl agrees.
Brad tells Sonya that she's making progress. She asks for a gold star or a discount, but he tells her to be content with the warm glow of achievement. She's happy with the endorphins, and he suggests she might like to try the hospital fun run in two weeks. She dashes off, saying it's time to go. Josie comes in, wanting to join. She says her goal is to lose weight.
JOSIE: I... I mean, to get healthy. Toned. All that fit stuff.
She says that it's not just about weight, and she hates team sports. Brad signs her up.
Lassiters car park
Sheila is walking through the car park, and she sees a woman talking to a driver. She has a flashback to the man saying "I can be friendly you know". She goes over to the car to challenge the driver, who turns out to be a woman asking for directions. Sheila apologises, and looks shaken.
Lassiters complex - outside the Police Station
Matt tells Sheila that it's hard to find the suspect since she wasn't able to give them a licence plate or a distinguishing feature. Even if he's caught, he might argue that he was offering Sheila a lift. Sheila is upset, so Matt says they can give him a scare, but only if she can remember something more.
Josie is cycling away and Sonya comes over to say hello. Josie is puffed, and Sonya tells her not to push her body too hard.
JOSIE: My body's not really talking to me at the moment. It's a bit angry.
Sonya says it's probably from working hard at the nursery. She says Callum really appreciated it, and that he needs friends at the moment, and she's pleased that Josie's around. Josie looks pleased. Sonya offers her a lift, but she says she's having a shower. However, she just keeps cycling.
Callum asks Toadie if he is Bailey's sidekick. He makes the jokes, has the crazy ideas, then watches Bailey get the girl, which is (apparently) the definition.
TOADIE: For years I felt like Billy Kennedy's sidekick for exactly the same reasons. I guess I was.
CALLUM: What happened?
TOADIE: He moved.
Toadie says that there are always people that are better looking, smarter and stronger than you, but you can become the hero of your own life. Callum disagrees, and says some people are heroes and some people are sidekicks.
TOADIE: Robin left Batman and became Nightwing. Xena, Warrior Princess, supported Hercules, but then she got her own show.
CALLUM: Dad, they're fictional characters.
Toadie then comes up with the example of Australia being England's sidekick, but now being the best country in the world. Callum accepts that Australia is pretty cool, but he wonders what's to stop Bailey treating him like a sidekick. Toadie says he should find out if that's how Bailey thinks of him. If so, they're not really a friend.
Bailey and Matt are checking out the Lou Carpenter family tree that Lauren has done. It includes a Supreme Court judge, a convict and a bigamist. Bailey gloomily says he's sure they didn't end up with no friends. Lauren says the surprise guest is on her way. She texts Lou.
Hospital - outside
It's windy. Lou asks Karl about the tests, and he confirms that they didn't show anything.
KARL: I hate to break it to you, but you're not going to die any time soon.
Lou wants more tests, but Karl refuses, telling Lou to go home. Lou is reassured and walks off. He gets a text alert, and as he walks under a tree, a big branch falls on him.
Tomorrow on Neighbours
- Lauren introduces Lolly, who flirts with Kyle
- Georgia asks Paul if he's calmed down, but is disappointed
- Karl tells Georgia he has seen Paul being out- manoeuvred.
- Brad is training for the fun- run. Matt decides to run as well, to Lauren's surprise