- Sienna discovering Carmella's huge credit card debt
- Miranda's sister Nicola arriving on the Parker's doorstep
- Nicola and Riley having a pash
Nicola joins the rest of the family for brekkie in her little shirt. Miranda wonders why her sister's wearing Riley's clothes but Nicola says she didn't have any pj's of her own and found it in the laundry basket. She comments that it quite suits her and I'd have to agree seeing as Riley wears some extraordinary man-blouses. In an attempt to escape his aunt's wiles, Riley asks Didge if she wants to kick the footy around later but Nicola soon invites herself along.
Rachel and Didge relax on the lawn while Ringo and Declan come back from a jog. Ringo jokes that he's also getting exercise from practicing the rumba and tries to get Didge up for a spin, but she awkwardly shies away. Moving on, Ringo tells the gang that he's going to hire out a hotel room after the formal with his birthday money. Declan's stoked and is already thinking up ways to sneak in, but Didge gets even more freaked out. She's seen enough American teenage rom-coms to know where this is leading. Ringo asks if Didge wants to help him scope out Lassiter's later but Didge quickly says that she's spending time with her Aunt Nicola.
Didge ignores a call from Ringo and asks Riley if he's ready to play footy, but now that Nicola's involved he's suddenly “busy”. Didge races out to invite Rachel instead, and Miranda and Steve traipse out to do some grocery shopping leaving Nicola and Riley alone. Nicola tries her flirt on, but Riley looks pained and says if his mum found out it would kill her. He also has a case of the super-guilts because he conveniently forgot last night that he had a girlfriend and he hates himself for it. Leaving the kitchen, Riley says that nothing else is going to happen between them. But judging by the smirk on Nicola's face, she knows he won't be able to resist.
Nicola thumps the footy towards Didge and Rach, but when Rach tries to kick it back it sort of bananas to the side in a pathetic heap. She decides to go and fetch the fashion mags from Nicola's car to read instead. Nicola brings up Ringo with Didge and can sense that her niece needs a chat.
Declan also senses that his mate might need to chat, but Ringo flat out refuses to share.
Didge explains the hotel room situation to her aunt and Nicola says that maybe it *is* all just innocent, but Didge doesn't think so. Frustrated, Didge calls herself a freak and wonders why she can't get over her fear of getting close to someone.
Trying again, Declan tells Ringo that he's noticed Didge being really hot and cold lately and how it must be confusing for him. Ringo pretends it doesn't bother him but eventually concedes that Didge's behaviour has been really weird.
Rachel arrives back with the mags and is put off to hear Nicola say that her and Didge shouldn't get so caught up in serious relationships at their age - they never last. She thinks they should just relax and have fun. Rachel thinks she sounds quite patronizing but Didge thinks her aunt is speaking sense.
Heather kisses Riley and says that it's great that they've had such an uncomplicated relationship. KERRR-THUMP! Oh hello irony anvil, how are you doing my old friend? She suggests that it might be time for Riley to move in with her and Riley readily agrees, keen to get away from naughty Nicola. Speak of the vixen, she enters the bar and Heather arks up when she notices Riley looking at her, but is quite surprise to learn she's his aunt. They chat for a bit until Riley gets uncomfortable and tells Heather they should go. Taking Nicola aside, Riley tells her to back off - he's moving in with his girlfriend and that's that.
Riley brings all his crap into the lounge room to pack just as Nicola walks in the door. She knows she's driven him away from home and she's sorry. Not quite believing her, Riley wants to know why she paid them a surprise visit.
NICOLA: I need my family.
RILEY: Yeah, family. That's what we're supposed to be remember?
NICOLA: But you're not really family you're adopted.
RILEY: Oh, nice.
NICOLA: Well I just mean that it's not serious. We're just having fun and we're not blood related so we're not doing anything wrong.
RILEY: Do you think that's how mum will see it?
NICOLA: Riley you've always been so special to me. And it's just one, innocent, tiny little kiss...
Unable to resist her, Riley goes in for a kiss just as Heather knocks on the front door. Horrified with what she's seen, Heather flees and Riley freaks.
Riley races out after Heather and shouts that Nicola's not his real aunt, but Heather's all, “Uh, you still CHEATED! And you are still DISGUSTING!” Miranda and Steve arrive home from the shops just in time to see Heather give Riley one hell of a slap across the face. Seriously. It sounded like she slapped him into next week. She yells at him to never come near her again. The Parker parentals want to know what's going on, but Heather just says to “ask him” and sadly doesn't use her ruthless journo instincts to instead say, “Your son is having it off with his aunt!”
Riley is quite sensibly staying mum on the topic (staying aunt?), causing Steve and Miranda mucho concern. Steve thinks it sounded like Riley cheated on Heather, but Nicola says Riley's not like that - maybe it's the girl's fault? She offers to have a chat to him and Miranda thinks that's a wonderful idea. She drags Steve out to walk Jake so Nicola can have some privacy. Yes, splendid idea.
Riley is sitting sullenly in the lounge room when Nicola finds him and says that Heather didn't deserve to be treated like that. Nicola agrees and apologises for the part that she played, but Riley snits that she doesn't care one iota about Heather. He tells his aunt to leave him alone, but Nicola just replies that he needs to be with someone who cares about him; she's not going anywhere.
In a strange time warp, Marco and Carmella are closing up the store for the night in the same clothes as they had on yesterday - even though the Parkers have had breakfast and started a new day. This fact interests me more than the actual scene, which basically consists of Carmella telling Marco that she maxed out her credit card to the tune of $20,000. Marco is gob smacked.
The next morning, Marco is still in a state of shock. Carmella (who is actually holding Chloe in her arms and isn't just wheeling around an empty pram like usual), says that he can't ignore her forever. She suggests selling Celestial Fruits, but Marco informs her that it still won't cover the debt. Carmella then suggests that Marco ask his parents for a loan, so Marco has to confess that his father still has no idea that he's bought the GS, so that won‘t be happening. Marco frowns and is all I HAS A SRS PROBLEM... If he were, like, a LOLCAT of course. He then decides that he has to sell his share of the GS - it's the only way to get out of the predicament with dignity.
Marco meets up with Elle and says that he has to sell his share, and that he'd like to offer it to her first. Elle doesn't accept but instead offers Marco a loan when she hears he's out 20 grand. Marco's adamant he's not going to take it, but Elle says it's purely business. She's just protecting an investment - he's too good to lose from the store. Really? Elle assures him there's no strings attached; despite what Carmella may think, she's not a monster. She waves the cheque in his face, which actually has today's date on it. I love little details like that.
Carmella has just seen the correctly-dated cheque and is far from impressed.
CARMELLA: I'd rather you got a loan from Satan. Oh, hang on, you just did!
They bicker about whether Elle can be trusted or not (Marco = she totally can, Carmella = SATAN!), and grab each side of the cheque before accidentally ripping it in half. Marco demands that Carmella hand over her half and chides her like a naughty schoolkid, telling her that she's the one that got them into this mess and he just got them out of it.
Rebecca holds Chloe, who is looking like an adorable cabbage patch kid, while Oliver coos at her. It's so true, Chloe really *is* a woojy-woo. Rebecca urges Oliver to have a chat with Carmella now that she's back so that they can stay on good terms. Elle walks in and is quite taken with Oliver playing daddy, even though he's changing a very stinky nappy at the time. It must be twoo wuv. Rebecca notices and gives Elle a smirk, but Elle rushes out before anything can be said.
Rachel tells Didge that she thinks Nicola's advice is pretty dodgy, but Didge can't see the problem. She knows she needs to loosen up, relax and just be herself. Checking her watch, Didge smiles and says that she's going to join Ringo in checking out the hotel room at Lassiter's. Worried, Rachel says that this isn't her, but Didge replies that it is now.
Oliver meets up with Elle while Rebecca is off parading Chloe to her friends.
ELLE: Did you have an OK day?
OLIVER: Ah well, she threw up on my blazer and she spewed in my hoodie, and then dribbled on my pants.
ELLE: (quickly takes her hand off his knee) Ew!
Oliver says that there's only one more thing that would make his life complete. Elle knows she's that ‘one thing' and replies that she could probably make that happen. They lean in for their first kiss as a properly reunited couple. Happy, Oliver heads to the counter to get them a drink.
OLIVER: (cheeky) We should celebrate... Pity you guys don't have a liquor licence.
Carmella saunters up to Elle, on a mission, and demands to know what the conditions of the loan are. Sighing, Elle tells her that she may think the worst of her but it is truly just a loan. Carmella snarls that she's still going to buy Elle out of the GS but Elle just retorts “What with?”
ELLE: (breezy) Carmella you're lucky you've got me.
Lassiter's Hotel Room
Oliver shows Ringo around the room but reminds him that there's to be no wild parties. He gets a call on his mobile and leaves Ringo with the key before heading out. Didge arrives not long after, much to Ringo's surprise, and he's even more surprised when she jumps on his lap and starts pashing him (right after suggesting that they keep the room for themselves on formal night). Ringo's very confused with this new assertive Didge and moves away from her. Confused, Didge says that she thought he wanted this and awkwardly tries to kiss him a few more times but he keeps stopping her.
RINGO: I can't do this.
DIDGE: I'm making it simpler.
RINGO: No, you're making it weirder.
DIDGE: (hurt) Don't you want me?
RINGO: (pauses) Maybe it was better when you and I were just friends...
Didge storms out of the room and Ringo looks a little bit guilty and a little bit confused with what just happened.