- Harold inviting Lou to travel with him
- Riley and Heather agreeing to date
- Mia defending her relationship with Oliver to Marco
- Marco and Oliver having a brawl
The boys wrestle on the ground a little longer before Ringo and Toadie pick Marco up, and Declan and Frazer grab Oliver. Carmella yells at Oliver for ruining the day, and that if she were a man she'd hit him herself. Shaken, Mia apologises to Carmella before fleeing. Oliver decides to follow her, and Rebecca joins the conga line and follows her son.
Oliver tries to get Mia to speak to him but she's too angry and brushes him off. Rebecca tells Oliver off for wrecking his daughter's christening with his crazy theories. She says she's ashamed of him, but Oliver retorts that he's just trying to look out for Carmella. Unconvinced, Rebecca growls that he needs to grow up and start acting like a responsible father.
Rosie (holding Chloe) sits with Frazer and Paul while Carmella and Marco chat.
FRAZER: So... Marco's got dodgy swimmers. Poor guy.
FRAZER: What? I said 'poor guy', I was being sincere.
Marco tells Carmella that he doesn't want anything more to do with Oliver. Carmella says she understands if he wants to go home, but Marco states that he wants to be there for Chloe. Oliver and Rebecca return just in time for Declan to take some awkward "happy snaps" to mark the occasion. I can just imagine Carmella showing the album to Chloe in the future: This was a very special day, sweetie! It's when your two daddies tried to rip each other's throats out!
Riley brings Heather home to meet the family (plus Kirsten and Jake) and to awkwardly segue way into the topic of Bridget's school camp so that Steve and Miranda can get their angst faces on. They depart to the kitchen for a private chat (because it's totally soundproof of course) and fret about not having enough cash to pay for it. But when Miranda sees that Steve is blaming himself, she 'remembers' that she might have some emergency dosh stashed away.
Harold and Lou are perusing a map and planning which places they're going to see on their travels, bickering away at one another as per usual. Valda walks in and is surprised to hear that Lou is also leaving town. Put out, Valda picks on him and wonders how Harold is going to put up with him in such a confined space.
LOU: Valda aren't you running late for your coven? (Hands her the broom he's conveniently holding) Here, off you go.
It then occurs to Harold that no one will be around to look after the GS while they're gone, but Lou says he'll get everything sorted. Valda sarcastically wishes them luck before exiting.
LOU: (holds out the broom) You forgot your transport!
Ned and Kirsten are making sandwiches (thankfully not cheese and vegemite ones) while Mickey tells them about how he wants to bring Pop to school for Grandparents Day.
Steve takes a sanga into Miranda and is concerned to see her on the phone applying for a cleaning job at the school. He points out her bung leg, reminding her that she's not very mobile, and tells her to hang up. He's the one that got them into this financial mess, and he'll get them out of it.
Declan takes one last snap of Chloe and her parents before deciding he's tortured them enough. Oliver uses this break to give Carmella a 'warning' about Marco and how he only told her his secret because he had to. But Carmella firmly replies that she loves Marco and Oliver will just have to deal with it. Oliver wonders what will happen if he can't? He states that Carmella is so blinded by Marco that she can't see what's best for herself or their daughter.
Steve and Miranda stumble across one another while waiting to be interviewed for the cleaning job and are quite amused with their failed attempt at going behind each other's backs. Miranda teases Steve about his cleaning prowess - he can't even clean at home, so she doesn't know how he expects to get a job cleaning the school.
Rebecca cuddles Chloe while Paul looks on and wonders when children turn from so cute to so stupid. She adds that they're definitely not having one of their own now, but Paul still sounds keen. Carmella comes over to check on her daughter and Rebecca says that Oliver behaved appallingly today, but hopes that they'll find a way to work things out.
Frazer and Toadie muse over Oliver's behaviour at the bar while Nanna Rosie (seriously, that up do and unflattering dress have aged her about 50 years) tells Marco off for his idiotic fighting, but can't help feeling impressed that he stuck around afterwards despite what went on. Marco admits he loves Chloe as if she were his own and Rosie hopes it's enough.
Mickey bounds in with his parents and asks Lou along to the Grandparents shindig. Lou looks uncomfortable, and when Mickey runs off to get some drinks, he tells Ned and Kirsten about his travel plans. Ned thinks that Lou should tell Mickey soon so he's got time to get used to the idea, but Lou wants to wait a while so he can find the right words to break it to him.
Steve and Miranda are happy - they scored the cleaning job together because the interviewer thought they were already a team. They hand over a cheque to Bridget for school camp, and Bridget is worried they can't afford it, but they assure her it's all sorted out. Bridget passes Riley in the hallway, who is on his way out for a surf and cheekily tells his parents that Heather is staying the night just as he rushes out the door. Uptight, Miranda states that Heather will be sleeping on the couch but Steve just smirks and says he doesn't think that's what Riley had in mind. Bridget overhears the conversation and thinks her mum is being very old fashioned.
BRIDGET: Mum, get real it's 2008.
MIRANDA: I don't care if it's 3008.
Turning the tables on Steve, Miranda asks him what would happen if Bridget decided to bring a boy home.
BRIDGET: Yeah dad, how old do I have to be before I get boys to sleep over?
BRIDGET: Nineteen, that's cool.
STEVE: Ninety nine!
Bridget maturely reassures her parents that when the time is right for her to 'take it to the next level' (and all those other cheesy euphemisms) she'll be completely honest with them about it.
Toadie's having fun cooing over Chloe until Valda tells him that she had a chat with Steph the other day and she's doing well. Uncomfortable, Toadie stands up to give Chloe back to her mum. Carmella suddenly announces it's time to feed her daughter and Marco readily agrees to help, and I hope to God they're just talking about bottle feeding.
Oliver grabs Toadie for a chat because he's worried that Carmella and Marco will try to deny him access to Chloe. Toadie states that dragging a case through court will get messy, but Oliver replies that his daughter's welfare comes first.
Toadie handily points out that Oliver could be in over his head. Carmella and Marco are the epitome of a healthy, stable relationship whereas Oliver is single and lives in a hotel. Oliver thinks that Marco has blatantly manipulated Carmella into becoming his surrogate family, but Toadie replies that Oliver seems to be the only one with that train of thought. Toadie adds that since he's Chloe's godfather he can't represent him, but Oliver doesn't care - he'll find someone else. Rebecca sees her son and hopes he's there to apologise to Marco, but Oliver says he's not staying and got what he came here for.
Miranda and Steve enjoy their little cleaning spree and agree to keep the job a secret from the kids for now.
Harold senses that Lou might be having second thoughts about leaving, and sees why when Mickey runs back in to chat some more with Lou about Grandparents Day. Lou asks Harold how he's supposed to break Mickey's heart (kidnap Jake, that'll break the little sucker's heart! Oh, he's trying *not* to upset him... OK), but Harold just says that it's not too late for Lou to change his mind. He knows that Lou's only fear is being lonely, but he's already got a ready-made family in the Parkers.
Riley and Heather are happy to have the house to themselves. They see the bed Miranda made up on the couch for Heather, but since Jake has made himself cosy on it, they head for the bedroom instead.
Steve and Miranda arrive home and realise that Riley isn't a teenager anymore and they have to let him be a grown up.
Harold asks Oliver how the Christening went and Ollie lies and says it was ace. Mia meets with him but only to tell him to rack off - he hurt her brother and she doesn't want to see him ever again.
Frazer makes a two second appearance to let Mia inside to see Carmella and Marco (who are there to 'hang out with Rosie and Frazer', which is probably code for 'the flat set isn't set up this week'). Upset, Mia tells her brother that he was right about Oliver and asks him to take care of the family business for a while so she can escape town for a few weeks.
Once Mia has left, Carmella remarks on how horrid the day turned out.
CARMELLA: I mean is this how it's going to be from now on, one disaster after the other?
Dude, you live in Erinsborough. Duh. Marco whips out the 'I'm such a burden, are you sure you want to be with me?' speech for the gazillionth time, so Carmella tells him to shut up. Sauntering in like he owns the joint, Oliver defiantly informs the two of them that he's applying for sole custody of Chloe.
OLIVER: Neither of you are good parents and I'm going to prove that in court.