Karl tells Steph that the fragment of bullet in Toadie's back could kill him.
Carmella tells Will that she wants to hear the truth.
Janae tells Max to come home to the people who love him best – or at least come home just to say a proper goodbye.
The Scarlet Bar where he maybe Should Not have returned
Janae and Boyd are chatting at the bar, but Boyd notices that Janae is a little distracted. She covers by telling him about an engine she was working on today. But as they chat, Boyd stops mid-sentence and the camera pans to show Max standing at the entrance to the bar. Boyd walks straight to him.
MAX: G'day mate.
Boyd throws his arms around his father as Max apologises into his son's neck.
Number 30 where Ned would make the worst MI5 agent, Like, Ever
Ned is making notes at the desk in the lounge on betting tips. There's a knock at the door and Will runs out the shower to answer the door to Elle as Ned hides. Elle has brought Will a bottle of wine from her dad as a selfless gesture. She asks after him and Carmella, and he admits that they broke up.
As Will closes the door, he sees Ned who gives some ridiculous excuse about being there to feed Bob (as if Will can't do that himself) and of course, Will sees right through it. He asks Ned what he's really up to.
Ned looks gormlessly at Will.
Erinsborough Hospital where Karl is Parental
Steph is cuddling up on the bed with Toadie when FarmerKarl™ and Susie-doll walk in. Susan apologises for walking in on them, but Toadie doesn't mind, so Susan tells Steph that she's just been on the phone to Lyn for an hour. Steph wants to know everything, and they agree to go and get a coffee whilst Karl talks to Toadie.
SUSAN: You can hear all about Springsteen, Karl's new chook. And boy, is he dancing in the dark.
KARL: It's a rooster, not a chook.
Karl perches at Toadie's side, and Toadie reads Karl's body language – what's up?? Karl is concerned that the whole siege thing leads to heightened emotions, and that Steph probably still loves Max, no matter how much she tries to convince herself otherwise. Karl tells Toadie he doesn't want to see him get hurt, and he's worried that he very likely will.
Cut to Susan and Steph in the corridor who realise they have no money and have returned for a purse. They stop as they hear Toadie talking:
TOADIE: You know how I feel about Steph. And if getting shot is all it took for her to fall for me, then despite the pain I reckon I go the bargain of a lifetime.
Steph looks touched.
Number 30 where no-one will be Surprised
Will thinks that Ned is stealing from Frazer, who puts a lot of time into his research – he might as well be just taking his money. Will appreciates that Ned's having a tough time job-wise, and he'll help him find something; but Ned doesn't want that – if Frazer can make a living this way, so can he.
WILL: No offence or anything, but I just don't think you're that kind of person.
NED: Are you saying I'm dumb?
WILL: Of course not. Frazer's just got this…this skill.
Ned thinks he might surprise Will.
The Scarlet Bar where Boyd dips Into Denial
Max wants to tell Boyd what happened to him, but right now Boyd's just thrilled that his dad's back. And in an 'Allo 'Allo moment, he tells his dad that he will only say this once: let's go get Steph and Charlie and head home. Boyd is reassuring his dad that all will be fine, but Janae grabs Boyd: what about Steph and Toadie? And what if Max is only back to tie up loose ends??
Boyd chastises Janae – everything is going to go back to the way it was. So there.
Cut to the eating area where Karl and Susan are sitting themselves down. Karl's in pain – an old groin injury from lifting too much fertiliser. Susan thinks he should give his groin a rest. I don't. Anyway. Susie's concerned that Karl's overdoing it, but:
KARL: I'd just like to say – thank you.
SUSAN: What for?
KARL: For offering to help.
SUSAN: Did I?
KARL: Yes. And I'm very, *very* touched.
Karl looks all sincere and bearded, so Susan leans towards him and entices him closer to her with her seductive voice. Karl thinks he's about to get lucky, and they're so close they could kiss.
SUSAN: Are you familiar with the term ‘justifiable homicide'?
They do that cute squidging their faces at each other thing that they do when they're completely in sync with each other, and I'm a very happy girl. Karl and Susan have been absolute classics these past few episodes. So nice to see them working so closely together again.
Number 24 where Harold is Becoming Obsessed
Dylan is holding Kerry, and is on the phone to Sky, mimicking Kerry saying she misses her mummy! Dylan is about to go out with Kerry, but Harold's not happy – he was asked to look after Kerry, not Dylan. (Yes, but Dylan is her father, Harold??) Dylan quite rightly insists that he's taking her – and Harold can have her when he comes back. Dylan opens the door, and Will's there – asking after Carmella.
Will tells Dylan that he's going away to make it easier for them both. Dylan doesn't think it's a good idea – if Will likes her, he should stick around and work it out. Will worries that Carmella will hate him if sticks around and tells her the truth.
Erinsborough Hospital where it can Only Get Worse
Toadie ia playing with Charlie on the bed, whilst Steph reads a card. She sits next to Toadie and they chat about Charlie's eyes, as the camera cuts to the hospital corridor. Max, Janae and Boyd are making their way in, and Janae tries to tell Max about Toadie – but Max isn't listening.
Max opens the hospital room door. Steph looks up. Their eyes meet and Steph looks horrified.
The Scarlet Bar in which Harold is a Worry
Elle and Carmella are laughing that they've bought the same pair of shoes, and Carmella admits she only has one dress.
ELLE: That is the saddest thing I have ever heard.
Slight exaggeration, there, Elle. Perhaps your brother being knocked down and killed was the saddest. But okay.
Elle insists that she will take Carmella shopping for a dress – her shout. Carmella's not keen, but as she's trying to put Elle off, her phone beeps. She looks at the text for less than a second and then tells Carmy that it's Will – he wants to take her out for dinner and tell her the truth. Wow – he must have used real txt spk 4 her 2 rd that so quk.
Carmella doesn't want to go – she wants to believe anything he says, and she knows she shouldn't. Elle encourages her to go, and see what he has to say. Carmy isn't keen, and Dylan appears with Kerry – would Elle like to go for a walk with them both? Harry is there an overhears – Dylan is taking Kerry out for a walk? How dare he?! The father of the baby wants to take her for a walk??! Harold declares that it's too cold, and that Dylan should be less careless in thinking it through, and takes Kerry from Dylan. Woah. PsychoHarry™ is in the house, ladies and gentlemen.
Dylan asks Elle to go for a walk with him, and she concedes, as long as Carmy says yes to the thing she doesn't want to say yes to.
DYLAN: Whatever it is – please say yes.
Erinsborough Hospital where Toadie may get a Raw Deal
Max wants to hold Charlie, but Steph refuses. Max tells his wife that he wants to come back, and Boyd agrees that he was sick, and now is well again. Max thinks he and Steph should talk elsewhere, and Steph hands her son to Boyd. They leave.
Janae suggests that Boyd call Isabelle and Summer to let them know. She sits with Toadie.
Harold is whinging to the Kennedys that Dylan hadn't prepared anything to take Kerry out. Not a change of nappy or anything (for crying out loud – she'll cope for a couple of hours without a new nappy.) Susan tries to diffuse Harry's annoyance by admitting that when Mal came along, she and Karl were overwhelmed with it all. They were hopeless with Mal.
HARRY: Not like Dylan, I'm sure. He just breezes in whenever he wants, no regard for feeding times or sleeping times…
Karl interrupts – he needs to go and start the veggie patch in the community garden. Susan tells Harold that she stupidly promised to go along for moral support. Harry thinks he'll join them – give Kerry some fresh air.
SUSAN: Oh, well if Harold's going, you don't need me. I can get on with my marking.
KARL: (trying to carry fertiliser) OWWWWWWW!
SUSAN: Oh, what now?
KARL: It's, it's this damn groin of mine! Harold, I'm gonna have to get you to give me a hand with the planting I'm afraid.
HAROLD: Oh, no, I'm afraid my back wouldn't allow that.
KARL: In that case you'll have to do it, Susan.
KARL: Yes, there's a very strict timetable about when this stuff goes into the ground. (walks off)
HAROLD: I'd change your shoes if I were you. It's a very messy all day job, believe me. (walks off)
KARL: I'll get you to grab the manure on your way out, sweetheart. (exeunt)
SUSAN: (fuming) Sure, love.
Susan takes a very deep breath and waits, like Mount Etna.
The Scarlet Bar where Dylan and Elle are an Exhausted Storyline
Dylan sits with Elle, wondering if they can go back to one of their places, alone. He wonders if she's thought about them, recently. She pretends to not be paying a lot of attention, but Dylan gets on his knees and declares that they are meant to be together.
But she remembers last time they were together, and he apologises – he knows he took her for granted. And this time he wants to treat her the way she deserves to be treated. That would include skinning her alive, then, would it? Apparently not, because he's grateful she gives him the time of day. He begs for another chance, and she agrees to think about it, secretly smiling to herself.
Erinsborough Hospital where Max Begs
Max tells Steph he was living on the streets, numb at the shock of Cam's death, and the drugs from the hospital. He was in a total fog. Steph wonders if he thought about them, and he admits that in his lucid moments he knew he'd made a mistake, but knew he had to get better before he could return.
Steph reminds him he was gone for months, and asks if it was to avoid facing court. Max tells her he didn't want to be a burden.
STEPH: And me left wondering if my husband is dead or alive for months – that, that wasn't a burden at all?
Max says he was a real danger to be around, but he had a little push to return. He met some people, some kind people who took him in and looked after him, and eventually the fog just began to lift. Was he in Munchkinland or something??
He's now ready to be to the husband and father he was before he left. Steph declares that she should have been the one to look after him; his family. She tells him that she's so angry now. Max hopes that she'll welcome him back, leave it behind them and start again. Steph responds that it's not that easy.
MAX: I know that, Steph. I know that. But if you have any love left for me in there, please will you just – will you try?
The Community Garden where the Community Spirit is Waning
Susan digs the garden, her back clearly hurting. The comedy timing in this scene is utter perfection, and even the transcript won't do it justice:
KARL: It needs to be a bit deeper, Susan.
HARRY: Oh, much deeper. Come on, Susan, put some muscle into it, eh?!
SUSAN: How about a little less advice and a little more help?
KARL: Susan, my groin?
HARRY: My back.
KARL: Just a little deeper.
SUSAN: Then I'm going home.
KARL: (indignant) No – we can't waste a full moon.
KARL: Well the seeds have to go in today.
HARRY: Oh, yes. Yes. The phases of the moon help seeds grow stronger.
SUSAN: (gobsmacked) Is he paying you?
HARRY: Sorry, Susan, but is it true.
SUSAN: I should have my head read.
KARL: (stretching) What's for dinner, by the way?
SUSAN: (glares loudly)
KARL: Not that that's your call, of course. I mean, given all the help you've given me….oh, goodness me – the least I can do is take you out to dinner.
Karl wanders round to Susan and starts massaging her shoulders.
SUSAN: When I've dug this hole, I'm going to bury you in it. And it'll take more than a full moon to get you out.
KARL: (snuggling his face next to hers) I love you.
SUSAN: Rack off.
Karl walks off and a furious Susan starts digging again.
That scene was just pure, pure class. Brilliantly scripted, and superbly acted by all three.
Erinsborough Hospital where…
…Toadie is watching a nature programme on cockroaches, and Janae is worried about him – he needs to prepare for the worst. Toadie thinks that he and Steph and strong, and Janae needs to have more faith.
Lassiters Restaurant where the Kennedys are Loved Up
Karl still looks bearded, although slightly less scruffy that earlier, and Susan looks utterly gorgeous in a pink top. Karl complains that the veggies at the restaurant aren't organic. Susan reminds him that he used to like the finer things in life, and worries that he's lost a bit of perspective. Karl disagrees – he's gained perspective.
SUSAN: I think you're over-compensating. This could all be about you grieving for your lost medical career.
KARL: Susan! Since I gave up medicine and started living I've never been happier!
SUSAN: I just don't want you to wake up one day and regret everything you've given up.
KARL: (all serious) Well that will never happen. So long as I wake up next to you.
Susan starts touching his face again but they don't kiss because I'm sure that beard must damage poor Jackie's skin.
The camera sadly pans to Ned and Carley (his date), who thinks that Ned is different. Will walks past and agrees that Ned *is* different. The camera then pans to Will and Camella. My – aren't they making use of the Lassiters Restaurant set whilst it's up??! Will tells Carmella that she's early, and proceeds to tell her how rich he is. He's wealthy; he owns a theatre, the hotel next to it. Fifteen hotels in fact. A percentage of Lassiters. And that ain't all!
He's suddenly become more appealing.
The Scarlet Bar where It All Ends
Boyd and Max are chatting, and Boyd tells his father that Steph still loves him and will come round. Steph arrives and asks to speak to Max in private. Boyd leaves.
Max talks about Charlie, remembering how much Steph went through to bring him into the world. Steph tells him that things have changed. She had to stop herself feeling the way she felt about him, and Toadie helped her do that. She admits that she couldn't have gotten through it all without Toadie, and that they're no longer just friends anymore……she loves him.
STEPH: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you and I are over.