Bree tells Anne she thinks that she's hurting her on purpose.
Stingray drinks in the school corridor before coming to rehearse for the school dance with Rachel.
Karl telling Sky he needs to do tests on Lou to determine if he has Alzheimer's.
Erinsborough High in which Bree Could Kill
Susan counts out of time with the music as the students learn the waltz. Anne and Bree both sit alone and apart at the back of the classroom, and Scotty mucks about much to Susan's half-annoyance. Susan approaches Bree who's waiting for Zeke to arrive, and tells her student that she wants to know what he's doing in the roof. Susan says he's obsessed with believing a rat's in the roof, and remembers that Toadie used to be the same when he lived with her – maybe Zeke's turning into a mini-Toadie? Bree looks like she might throw up at that idea.
SUSAN: Hey, come on. There are worse things.
Bree and her attitude stares at Susan blankly.
Susan suggests that Bree pair up with Anne, but Bree sarcastically remarks “oh yeah, hours of fun.” Susan gives Bree a stern look, and Breezer reluctantly asks Anne to join her.
Scott makes Rachel laugh by deliberately ruining the dancing.
SCOTT: Hey Susie-doll! What score do I get?!
SUSAN: Voted off, I'm afraid.
She suggests that if he took it a bit more seriously, he might make other people laugh – people who aren't Rachel. Scott decides to get some air outside and Rachel wants to join him, whilst Bree dances with Anne with a look on her face that would melt an ice cream in Alaska.
Rach and Scott leave for the corridor, and she knows that he's finding it hard, being with a group of young kids. He promises he'll be back in the classroom in a minute, and as Rach leaves, he takes another swig of alcohol before making his way back in. Why is it that men always drink around Susan? Declan, Karl, Gary, Scott, Martin – even Phil, the first time he met her. He was *completely* sozzled then.
The Scarlet Bar in which Boyd acts Like A Man
PoutyLippedWoman sits at a table on the phone; Janae goes to clear her glass away, and gets a sharp rap from the woman who hasn't finished. The woman is on her mobile, and tells her friend that ‘it was just a little scrubber.' People at the table nearby stare at her and she tells them where to go.
Cut to Carmella and Lyn talking at another table and Lyn tells her friend how concerned she is about the meeting tomorrow with the people who are suing her and Paul. She can't believe it's all up to her, and the people she's meeting don't know what the truth is. Maybe she can bluff and get them to drop the court case… Carmella offers to go with her to support her, but Lyn tells her that these people are ruthless. Carmella reminds her that she's a Cammeniti, and it sounds like a type of Italian sandwich.
They agree to go to the meeting together, and PoutyLippedWoman approaches the bar, wanting another drink. Boyd thinks that she's had enough, but she's not having any of it. Janae steps in to tell her to leave, and the rude woman tells them both they're too young to work here. Boyd tells her he's in charge – and if she doesn't leave, he'll call the police…
PoutyLippedWoman takes her lips and strops off, still pouting lippily.
And I'd like to order a tuna and cheese cammeniti, please.
Erinsborough High where Bree and her Attitude Suck
The kids are still practising the waltz for the Year Nine formal. Susan sways to the music. Well, she doesn't, because obviously the music was dubbed after this had been filmed, so actually they all look really odd, not dancing in time. Which reminds me – heard a really funny thing recently. I won't say who told me this, but someone said to me:
“You know what, Miriam, someone once said to me ‘Wow, all the actors must get so fed up with the song One Good Reason Why.' And I asked them why, and they said ‘because it's the song that's always playing in The Coffee Shop, and lots of actors have lots of scenes in there. They must get so fed up of hearing it.' I laughed – then realised they were deadly serious.”
Excellent. Just excellent.
But back to the show. Anne is dancing with Bree, who is spinning on the floor faster and faster. Anne is concerned – she's losing her balance, but Breezer doesn't care, and she and her Attitude carry on, very deliberately. Anne begs her to stop – so Bree stops dead and Anne goes flying to the floor, into a chair. Janelle witnessed the whole thing, as did Susan.
JANELLE: Breanna Timmins are you out of your head? You apologise right now.
ANNE: Look, it doesn't matter. I deserved it.
BREE: Too right you did. I wish you'd broken something.
Anne asks to go get some fresh air, and Janelle lays into Bree for bullying Anne. I know that Bree is right about Anne and her creepiness here, but she's taken the attitude thing too far. She never used to be this sulky or cruel, and never this sullen. I'm learning to hate her, and fast. She never smiles anymore.
I'm going to get some scrambled eggs on toast. Please excuse me.
Number 24 in which Cordial has replaced Vodka
Harold is knitting booties.
For those of you who thought I just made a typo, I'll say it again. Harold is knitting booties. And Lou appears in his dressing gown.
You know, if I didn't love Mishka so much, I would wish these two would, I don't know, commit to each other or something. It's not that I want them in a *relationship* relationship. It's just that they're so good together. They're like the Two Ronnies. You know the scenes they used to do where they lived together, shared a bed, were just really great mates. Or – who was the other pair? – Morecambe and Wise.
Or Ant and Dec. I do love them, too.
Anyway, Harry is knitting away, and Lou comments that Harry bought a bottle of raspberry(?) cordial earlier in the day and has already drunk half of it!
LOU: Just remember your physics; what goes up must come down.
Oooh – a cute if not deliberate reference to episode 4836? Also would have worked better had Lou said “what goes in must come out.” Either way, it made me smile. There's a knock at the door and Lou trots off to bed.
It's Janelle, looking for Lou-Lou. Harry informs her he's gone to bed and Lou – hidden from Janelle's view – stands to listen. Janelle expresses again to Harry her concern for Lou and his possible illness.
JANELLE: They can wander, you know.
HARRY: Er, who can?
JANELLE: People with Alzheimer's.
I know it's a serious topic, but that was SO funny! I love Janelle so much. She makes the show watchable at the moment.
Harry reassures Janelle that Lou isn't ill – he can't pull the wool over Harry's eyes.
Erinsborough Hospital in which we find Bridget Jones
Boyd has arrived at the hospital and kisses Janae goodbye before running accidentally into PoutyLippedWoman who apparently also now HasAttitude. She tells him that she's his new supervisor – and he introduces himself. She says she's called
Tits Pervert, Tits Pervert… Sally Herbert. Because…that's…is her name.
Sally reminds Boyd that he's late. Thing is, if he is, then so's she, as they're standing in the same place at the same time. So that doesn't really work.
Number 26 where Bree makes a Big Mistake
Lyn is on the phone to someone asking if they can send an associate. Oscar is banging a truck with a hammer at the table, and Stingray gets cross. Lyn takes her son off to get ready for crèche. Bree admits to Scott that Oscar was annoying her, too. Everything annoys her these days.
Bree opens the door to Susie who gives her a look, and it's enough to make Breezer apologise for the night before. Susan tells her to apologise to Anne.
SUSAN: She's coping with a disability in a new school.
BREE: Oi. I'm not the one who told her to come here.
Susan is appalled. I can't believe that Bree said ‘oi' to Susan. I don't think anyone has ever said ‘oi' to Susan before. Even Jess never did that. It's, like, the one thing you just don't do. Stand up to her, challenge her, question her – but never ‘oi' her.
Bree immediately says she'll apologise and Susan offers her a lift to school. Let her walk, Susan – she oi'd you! As they leave, Carmella and her Italian sandwiches come in, dressed in a fancy Italian suit. Susan and Bree say goodbye, and Carmy runs into Lyn who is gobsmacked at Carmella's appearance:
LYN: Oh! Good Go— (Lyn remembers nun-ness of Carmella) –sh.
Lyn tells Carmella that Paul's lawyer isn't coming to the meeting – so they're just a hairdresser and a nun going to a meeting. You could get a good joke out of that. Lyn thinks that Carmella could be her lawyer – just be serious and aloof. She doesn't have to lie! Lyn is determined that they'll save this house!
Lassiter's Complex where Janelle is Looking Pretty
I wonder if Jack Lassiter did actually have a complex of any kind?
Janelle is wandering, and sees Anne having a drink outside The General Store. Anne tells her mother Janelle that she's not going to school today – she can't face it. Janelle thinks that Bree should apologise to her, and then invites her to the salon to have a nice hairdo, and then she'll shout her lunch.
Lou spies Janelle and comes over – did she order coffee? She didn't, and Lou can't ‘remember' who he made it for. Janelle is concerned and invites him to lunch with her and Anne at The Scarlet Bar at one.
Janelle takes Anne off, and Lou delightedly sips the coffee. He has a date.
Erinsborough High where Susan Pulls Rank
Bree and Rachel are talking in the classroom and Bree tells her friend that she doesn't want to hang out with Anne anymore because she's creepy. She also doesn't like the way she fawns over Zeke. Rachel tells Bree that her brother always supports the underdog, and is just trying to be Anne's friend.
Susan comes into the classroom and asks the kids to sit down. She announces that she's found a bottle (previously containing alcohol of some sort…) in the boys' toilet after the dance practice last night. She wants to know who's responsible, and reminds the kids that underage drinking is dangerous and illegal. The person has to own up in 24 hours – or she's cancelling the Year 9 formal.
Rachel and Bree are sitting together – and Rach wonders if it was Scott. Bree says no – he stopped that when he got back together with Rachel
The Scarlet Bar where
Lyn and Carmella wait for their meeting. Janelle and Lou are sitting at a table when Harry approaches the bar. Lou joins him and starts to order their meal – but can't remember what to ask for. Harry hands Lou a tenner, and Lou reminds him that he owed him twenty.
HARRY: Ah, you remembered, eh?!
Harry ain't stupid!
The associates turn up to see Lyn and Carmella. They sit down, and Lyn clutches a rosary in her hand.
Erinsborough Hospital where we are In Karl's Office
Sally has taken over Karl's office, and asks Boyd why he didn't make certain notes on a patient's file. Boyd's response isn't what she wanted, and she reprimands him. After the other students leave, Boyd confronts Doctor Herbert.
He apologises for his behaviour at the bar last night – he's trying to look after it for his father. Sally tells him that her criticism of him had nothing to do with last night – he performed poorly as a doctor today, so she had to raise it as an issue.
As she picks up her stuff to leave, lots of ampoules of morphine fall out of her bag. She immediately covers by telling Boyd that she was treating a patient yesterday and forgot to return the drugs. Boyd says that Karl mentioned missing drugs, but she denies taking them from the drugs cabinet. In fact, Boyd's future at the hospital is uncertain, and he wouldn't want to go making it more difficult for himself, now, would he?
The Scarlet Bar where Carmella tries to Pull Rank. Unsucessfully.
Lou, Harry, Janelle and Anne are having lunch together, and Anne asks Lou where he went to school. He can't remember, and Harry says he thought Alzheimer's only affected short-term memory?!
HARRY: Well, I'll see you at home. I hope you can remember the way.
Janelle tells Lou that Harry's in denial. From the bar, Janae and Scotty look on, and can't believe that their mother has her arm around Lou! Ugh! They hope they're just friends!
Cut to Lyn's table where the Associates suggests she pay up for the Baby Belt. Lyn tells them that the Robinson Corporation won't pay up easily and, given their company's history, she's sure they won't want a long and public legal battle. The lead guy thinks she's bluffing, and the other two men sit there and look menacing. Although they're no Phil and Grant. Though interestingly, their shirts are nice colours.
As they leave, Carmella jumps off her chair to offer them a sandwich and remind them who she is. She says that Paul has lost his son; Lyn is a single mother; they will lose everything. He believes that she works for Legal Aid! She reminds them she's a Cammeniti. He knows. He also knows that Rocco is still safely locked up.
Erinsborough Hospital where Janae can't Help Herself
Janae can't believe that Boyd hasn't told the hospital about Sally's stealing, yet. He reminds her that Dr Herbert is a respected doctor, and he didn't see her steal the medicine. If her gets her into trouble, and it turns out he's wrong, he's finished as a doctor. Boyd tells her to stay out of it, but it doesn't look like Janae wants to do that.
Sally is in Karl's room, and Janae wanders in with a broom.
SALLY: Do you mind?
JANAE: Oh, I'm sorry. There just seems to be a trail of mud from the supplies cabinet into here.
Janae tells her that she has a problem with Sally – and maybe she should take it to the Chief of Staff…
The Scarlet Bar where Bree Gets It
Scott has made Anne a series of cocktails, and he and Janelle are testing her taste ability. In walk Bree and Rachel. And suddenly Bree gets it.
Anne wants to be her. She wants to be Bree. Be with her family.
Rachel tells Bree that she's freaking her out.
Number 24 where Lyn is Heartbroken
Lyn tells Carmella that they don't have a hope in hell. Paul won't gamble with Lassiter's, so she'll have to pay up, like everyone else. Sell the house. And it'll hit Paul hard, too. Carmella tells her that property and money comes and goes – but she has the most important thing in the world: a family who love her.
Lyn crumbles into tears.
LYN: But I've let them all down.
LYN: Well, Stephie, of course. And my baby boy, and…
LYN: Paul's only interested in me when I'm on my game. Talking tough. Been outed now, haven't I? He'll see me as a loser. Everything he detests.
CARMELLA: No. No.
Poor Lyn can't stop crying.
LYN: Carmella…I am in love with him. I can't help it. The worst man in the world I could have fallen for.
I want to hug her.
Susan is climbing out of the loft. She shows Rachel what Zeke was doing in the loft – a stash of Ambrosia magazines. There was only half of one left with Miss January on the front, and Susan bets that Zeke has the rest of the stash hidden away somewhere by now.
Rachel is *horrified* that her little brother would look at these mags! Susan works out that Toadie must have put them there in 1997… Wow. Good continuity. They even got the year right. Scott comes in.
SUSAN: Stingray – what about you? Did you ever feel the need to get up in the roof whilst you were staying here?
SCOTT: Ah, er, I think I remember a pesky possum up there or somethi…OH! Miss January!
Number 30 where Boyd Learns the Truth
Janae makes Boyd undress so that she can do the washing. She finds an ampoule of morphine in his bag. Boyd is horrified.