- Izzy tells Ned that he is the only one she wants
- Dylan tells Elle everything is open between him and Sky
- Lou blackmails Izzy
Izzy is writing on a card and wrapping a pressie for Charlie, when Paul comes up behind her and starts ranting on about Harold and Lou's latest scare tactic – innuendo, rumors, personal stuff…honestly, it's like Agony Aunt on a field day here! Izzy swears that nothing is going on between her and Ned Harold and Lou…but…what sort of personal stuff are they saying? Paul replies the usual – stuff about their relationship. Elle comes out as Paul says he doesn't know why they can't just accept their loss with dignity – if he wasn't so amused, he'd actually be disappointed in them! Izzy hurries off to get her jacket, and Elle asks Paul what's up.
PAUL: Don't know……………………yet.
Bree asks what Angie is doing, and she replies she's packing her things – this pound isn't big enough for both her and Janelle! Woof! Bree protests that she likes having Angie around…but don't tell Janelle! She tries to tell Angie that if she leaves, Janelle will blame herself - she'll feel like she blew her chance to sort things out, but Angie says she can't pull that one on her! Bree informs Angie that she is her favourite aunty, and Angie says that Bree has always been sweet – different from the rest of the family. But….she's still not going to stay.
I…Ja…She…*shakes head* …I really have no words to describe the scene unfolding in front of me. Speechlessness is not something I accustomed to, but this just has me gobsmacked. Janelle. It's like, Aerobics Ozstyle, meets Hi-5, meets the St George Cheerleaders, meets Disco Stu. She has a snazzy song too, which goes something like ‘I kicked her butt, I kicked her butt, I busted her buuuum!' When Bree informs Janelle that Angie is leaving, we get an impromptu verse – ‘she's clearin' out, she's got no guts, she's clearin' OUT!' Bree turns off the music and asks if she cares about the family, but Janelle just thinks she's going soft. Janelle informs her daughter that when Sheila's fight, grudges are held FOREVER! It's none of this ‘go down the pub and make up over a pint!'
BREE: Mum, I've had rows with my friends and we've made up.
JANELLE: My point exactly – Angie's not a friend, she's a rello – tooootally different bucket of prawns!
Bree wants them to make up, but Janelle says they can't - its nature's way. She turns her music back on and strikes up the next verse – ‘I am a WINNER, she is a LOSER!'
Outside Scarlet Bar
Lou and Harold come out of the Bar and spot Elle and Izzy. Lou says he is going to have a word with Izzy. Izzy sends Elle into the Bar, and tells Lou she is here to see her baby nephew – doesn't he have any decency. Hold on…she's here to meet Charlie? At the PUB! Is this the same baby that was born, prematurely, two days ago? Ok. Well then…
Elle watches on as Izzy and Harold have some sort of altercation in the background. The Trouser boys come out of the Bar, rabbiting on about Head Whetting. They decide that they need an outing – something a bit different from their mundane lives. Stu and Ned have a light bulb moment – carbequing. I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or duck for cover.
Back in the red corner, Izzy says that Lou and Harold are being evicted tomorrow – this will never work, and it is only going to hurt her, not win back the shop. Like Lou cares. He says if they are being evicted tomorrow, she ahs till tonight to talk Paul ‘round.
Oh, and don't forget to have a nice day!
Elle looks on suspiciously.
Dylan smuggles in a large object under a blanket, and asks Bree for a lend of her oil pastels, because he…err…wants to paint his toenails! Janelle comes in complaining that she pulled a hammy with all that dancing. I could complain that her dancing burned my eyes, but I won't. Bree says that if she lets Angie leave, she will want to get even next time. And then the vicious cycle will continue. But if she goes and patches things up now, she'll break the cycle. Nope, says Janelle – can't be done.
Sky is at the door, looking for Dylan. Dylan stands around the corner and flaps his arms at Bree. Do we take that as a) ‘no, I'm not here' or b) ‘I'm mutating into a chicken from that time I fell in the toxic lake'?
They tell Sky he isn't home. I guess we're running with option A.
As Sky leaves, Bree makes a threat – Janelle has to go over and make up with Angie, or she'll tell the whole world who really wrote The Bogan's Tipped Hair.
JANELLE: You wouldn't!
BREE: I'm a Timmins, aren't I?
*Melts to a puddle of mush at the shot of baby Charlie* Elle gushes that Charlie is so handsome, and max explains that it's the Hoyland genes. Izzy, who is looking to opposite way to the bassinet, says that it tends to skip a generation on the male side. Max coos to Charlie that it hasn't skipped anything out on him. Max points out that Izzy hasn't even looked at Charlie. Elle asks her what is wrong, as Max coos over bubba. Izzy says she is just really happy….ok, so that one didn't work. She apologises to Max for not going to the hospital, and for being a lousy sister and aunt…Max doesn't understand what she is talking about, but suddenly the light bulb is on! Her baby. He says he is sorry, he didn't even think. He scoops up Charlie in his carrier, and tells Iz to come into the office to talk.
Angie dumps her bags in the taxi, as, across the road, Janelle says there are laws against blackmailing. Bree points out that there are also laws against claiming you wrote something when you didn't! She threatens to call the publisher on speed-dial, and Janelle can't hurt her, because she is an innocent child. Janelle says she's a devil child, but runs after the taxi, and throws herself on the bonnet. She says she has something to say to Angie…something other than abuse and sarcasm…Ang says to spit it out – she wants to beat the rush hour!
The HoT boys drive along. Ned thinks they are there – they've done 40k's! Geez, how long does it take to chuck some beef noodle flavouring on a packet of chicken Twisties…well, that was Kel's theory about their culinary experience, anyway… Stu says it could be 5k's it could be 10. Ned agrees. Connor just wants to know what the flamin' heck is going on! He woulda been happy with his packet of Twisties and flavouring, thankyou very much!
Janelle explains how she feels about Angie taking Kev away, and Angie can't believe what the hostility has been over all these years. They realise how much they have missed out on, but then Angie says she has spent years thinking this was her fault – it was about something she had done to Janelle, but it was just Janelle being selfish and jealous.
JANELLE: I'm offering you an olive leaf here!
ANGIE: It's an olive branch, you sill moo! Only you'd be too selfish to offer the whole branch!
JANELLE: Coz you'd eat all the bloody olives!
Angie decides she isn't going to let herself get run out of town by an emotional midget – she's STAYING!
Scarlet Bar Office
*Goes gaa-gaa over Charlie once again* Max watches his baby fondly, as Izzy explains that most of the time she is fine – she's dealt with it. But then she sees a baby, or hears one cry, and it all comes back. Max says he didn't even think, but Izzy says he shouldn't have to – this is supposed to be one of the happiest times in his life, and she doesn't want her miseries to affect him. She's so excited for him and Steph. Max says the way she has connected with Paul, and taken Elle under her wing – he admires her. And she is going to be a wonderful aunty to their Charlie. Izzy is still uncomfortable, and Max knows something is wrong. Izzy finally admits it – she's being blackmailed.
Scarlet Bar Office
Izzy defends her actions to Max, but he tells her there are other ways of getting people to do what you want. Like having them committed to a psych ward, Maxy boy? *cough* Max asks her how she does this to herself.
IZZY: I don't know! I don't mean to!
She won't tell Max who is blackmailing her, but he says there is one sure way to stop them in their tracks – fess up to Paul! Iz nearly chokes, but Max points out in the over-a-year Paul has known her, she hasn't exactly been truthful, faithful, and honest, yet Paul still loves her. He has no idea *why* Paul loves her still, but he does. Max insists she ahs to tell Paul herself, before he finds out himself.
Harold is still concerned about blackmailing Paul, but Lou is more concerned about being forced into retirement.
LOU: We sit around all day waiting for the newspaper so we can do the crossword, followed by Oprah, followed by DEATH!
Sky comes in and wants to know what they are arguing about, but Harold gives her her sandwich and sends her on her way. He tells Lou that this is half his business too, so do whatever he has to do – but do NOT expose Sky to it.
The Park with the river and the red bridge, where Max and Steph got it OOON in the boot of the X-Trail!!!
The Parker's announce that ‘it' is ready. The fact that they announce this while feeling the car bonnet scares me somewhat. Oh god. It's true – no chicken Twisties with beef noodle flavouring here! Only meat. Barbequed on the car engine. Carbequed, actually. Connor agrees to taste the meat, but says he is outta there at the first hint of break fluid in his steak. The Parker's laugh that they don't need chicks there, and Connor says they are right – Serena would never have done something like this. The mood drops from here *gestures with hand* to here *gestures with hand* in, like, 0.00000005 seconds. Connor goes to take a walk. Ned wonders if one of them should go after him, but Stu just wonders when he got to be so emotionally expressive. Meanwhile, Connor's walk has taken him within about a 5 step radius of the picnic table. Long walk, that one.
Janelle brings Bree a book as a present for being such a genius – a weight has been lifted from her shoulders now. She also wonders if Bree has sorted things out with Rachel - she'd hate her brainy little daughter to be a hypocrite…
Dylan calls Bree in to see what he has done. Bree is all ‘argh! My eyes!' when she sees Dylan's ‘art'. She runs away to answer the door. It's Sky. Who recognises Dylan's ‘art' as her painting…but not…so what has he done to it?
Izzy apologises to Elle for the wait, but Elle presents her with some flowers – she wanted to thank her for helping her through the Ned disaster and everything recently. She and Paul are lucky to have her. Izzy turns on her heel mumbling that she is going to put the flowers in water, but Max grabs her arm and tells her she isn't doing a runner. No maybes about it, she is going home to tell Paul the truth – now.
The park with the red bridge that brings back memories!
The boys lament their female-shaped losses – Serena, Sindi. Connor has been missing Serena a lot lately. Ned says it makes him appreciate what he has with Izzy. Connor nearly chokes but Stu says an extended flirt with a serial cheat doesn't compare to what they had with the women in their lives. Ned gets all defensive and says what he has with Izzy is real and he is going to hang onto it. He throws back a swig of beer with such force I'm surprised he has a throat left.
Izzy lets herself in, Paul makes a noise, and she jumps through the roof. Paul jokes that anyone would think she had a guilty conscience. Seeing the look on her face, he says ‘oh god…' Izzy makes him promise he will let her explain fully. He just wants her to get it out.
PAUL: I'm not going to enjoy this, am I?
IZZY: Probably not…but I did it for all the right reasons.
PAUL: Oh come on, spit it out.
IZZY: I seduced Ned Parker..