Paul & Co discovering that Tony Corbett died
Jenny breaking up with Karl
Susan finding out about Katya Kinski
Zeke ambles up to Rachel, who is sitting on the gutter, and asks if she's still mad at him for dobbing. She says she isn't but he lets her know Bree isn't so forgiving. Rachel tells him she let slip about Cartia… Katya and Zeke is shocked. He then thinks that Alex may have already told Susan about their sister but Rachel doesn't think so, “Not by the way she reacted, she was really shocked.”
Alex is filling Susan in on past events – When Francesca was at her sickest it took it's toll on everyone, but most of all Cart-cha… Katya. His then 16-year-old daughter coped by rebelling, which was exacerbated further when Fran passed away. “Our house became a war zone and she assaulted Rachel one day.” Alex decided then and there to kick her out and he sadly notes that he doesn't even know if she's dead or alive. Don't worry dude, judging by the amount of times she's been mentioned this week, she's totally alive and probably not far away from Erinsborough! Susan looks compassionate in a p'oed kind of way.
House of PIE
Paul is chilling out on the couch with his bestest gals, thrilled to bits that Tony has carked it and they're safe once again. How sweet.
PAUL: This whole experience has taught me something very valuable.
IZZY: Don't mess with corporate gangsters.
PAUL: Yeah, apart from that.
IZZY: (giggling) Don't meddle with other men's wives!
No, it's actually taught him that life wouldn't be worth living without Izzy and Elle by his side. Aw, how Brady Bunch-ly cute. He's looking forward to a nice, relaxing night in but Izzy and Elle have cabin fever and want to hit the town to par-tay. Paul is easily swayed but before they leave he yanks the curtains open and shouts to the world that he's back baby! Yeah!
… Which causes Rachel and Zeke to cast an odd glance Number 22's way. ‘Those people are weirder than us!' they think. Zeke wonders if they should go back inside but Rachel doesn't think it's time. He then asks if they should listen at the door, just like any good Erinsborough eavesdropper would do, but has that thought shut down also. Zeke just wants to remain optimistic though; now that Susan knows the truth they could possibly start to find Cardia… Katya.
RACHEL: I hope she understands.
ZEKE: (confident) She will.
A shiny dollar for anyone who can guess the next line – UK people, you can double your money from our atrocious exchange rate!
SUSAN: I just don't understand.
She's mad as a cut snake about Alex lying to her about something this big. He thinks it's about him abandoning his child but she's all, ‘No! It's about the fact that you have another child!' She wonders if he even would have told her if Rachel didn't let it slip.
Zeke thinks they should hire a private detective but Rachel thinks Katya may not want to be found. Zeke says that Katya acted out because she was sick, at least that's what their dad told him. Rachel replies that he wouldn't have told them the truth, they were too young. What is the truth you ask? She doesn't know.
ZEKE: It's what mum would want, all of us together again.
Alex wonders when it could have possibly been the right time to slip something as big as ‘I have a daughter who is 21 now that I abandoned' into an everyday conversation but Susan growls at him not to make excuses. Keeping secrets seems to be a pattern with him, which is bad because marriage is supposed to be about trust.
SUSAN: How many other secrets have you got?
ALEX: None. I promise, none.
Except for every second month where I sprout a fig tree out of my big toe. Oh, and there's also that small issue of me actually being a unicorn…
SUSAN: Yeah fine, Alex. How am I meant to believe that?
Well, I think the figs would be a telltale… Oh, right.
Ned is playing pool with Lou and accidentally mucks up one of the rules, even though they're printed on a big sign on the side of the table. It's like he can't read it or something… Lou thinks he's too trusting, “You've got to learn to read the fine print.” Or you know, any print. He offers Ned the job at the General Store again but Ned says he should look for someone else; he's headed back to Oakey soon anyway.
Max is lending a sympathetic ear to Karl as he tells him about his relationship woes – I.e. Jenny dumping him. Max gives him the ‘plenty more fish in the sea' spiel as they eye up some young lasses who walk past. Karl says it's ridiculous; he's already dealt with his feelings for Susan.
KARL: I don't walk around with a ‘big regrets about Susan' badge on my sleeve, do I?
MAX: Nah…. Well…
KARL: Oh, so I'm a pathetic old tragedy?
Max starts to say that Susan's moved on but Karl knows that, and he's going to have to do the same.
Alex reiterates to Susan that he loves her and promises there are no more secrets he's keeping (as he scratches his big toe…). Susan wants to know when he would have told her about Carty-a… Katya. “Ever?” He believes he would have when the time was right, but Susan's not buying that. “I don't really know you at all do I?” She adds that she feels stupid now and that she's lost her ability to trust him, she was prepared to make a commitment to he and the children for the rest of her life.
SUSAN: After this I don't want to be with you at all. I think you should stay somewhere else tonight.
Karl's still on his trip to mope town and asks Max to give him three reasons why any woman would want to go out with him. Max pauses and comes up with, “Well, you're young…” Karl thinks more middle-aged than anything. Max says 50 is the new 40 but Karl believes he must have missed that memo (as an aside, is it ‘me-mo' or ‘mem-o'? Karl's all about the me-mo, which is just like him really…).
MAX: Blokes like us we're like a good wine. The older we get the better we get.
KARL: That is a myth made up by old blokes.
MAX: Hey, you're not taking that from me. I'm holding on to that one.
KARL: No I'm sorry, I'm not going to buy it. Name three more.
MAX: You're healthy, you're a doctor, which means you make good money, and you're good looking.
KARL: You think I'm good looking?
MAX: Oh mate, you're gorgeous.
KARL: Thank you… I think.
They overhear Lou cackling about his winning spree over Ned and decide to team up and play a game with them.
KARL: Come on; let's take them down a peg or two, us against them.
MAX: Okay… our first date!
KARL: (scoffs) Oh don't you get fresh with me.
Paul, Izzy and Elle walk in to celebrate. Elle goes over to say hi to Ned while they take a seat and order a drink. She makes small talk with the fellas while Paul looks on almost envious. No, he doesn't want to go on a date with Ned or Karl as well, he just wishes he could fit in as well as her sometimes. Izzy says she's a “mad witch” that's why she doesn't fit in, what's his excuse? He's just bad to the bone he reasons. It would be nice for them to have a few genuine friends though. Izzy thinks that Tony Corbett's scare campaign frightened people off.
PAUL: Yeah but before the plane crash we weren't exactly drowning in invites.
Nice choice of words there, Paul. How insensitive of you. A lot of people would be hopping mad to hear that. They look on as the pool game continues.
Alex is still there much to Susan's surprise. He says she reminded him how great it is to love a woman and how much she means to him, he can't walk away from that. He goes on to say that he always blamed Carch-ah… Katya for what happened but has come to realise that the blame rests with him for abandoning her. “What sort of man would do that? What sort of father does that make me?” Saint Suse is feeling the compassion coming back.
Ned has walked Elle back home and tells her that he's seeing Gino early tomorrow so he can quit the play. Elle's disappointed but she doesn't elaborate. She invites him in for a drink but he declines.
Neddy finds the Kinski kids sitting on their lonesome and asks what they're doing. He finds it funny that they're just doing nothing while they're waiting, he'd be kicking a ball or something to pass time. Rachel and Zeke look at him like he just suggested they should ride emus up and down the cul-de-sac. “We don't really do that,” Rachel replies. (Elle, meanwhile, has gone into her house and left the door wide open. She's really anti-security now Tony's dead!) Ned reckons he needs to teach them some good old fashioned ball skills one of these days. He heads off home and they once again look at him like the emus have now sprouted figs out of their feet.
Speaking of Alex, he calls for the kids to finally come inside.
All of them sit on the couch while Alex explains that he's apologised to Susan, “Families shouldn't keep secrets from one another.” Boy are you on the wrong street, buddy. He's decided that to redress that wrong he's going to do everything in his power to find their sister - if she wants to forgive him that is. Zeke's excited, “We'll all be a family again!” He thanks Susan, who laughs and says it was all Alex's idea, but Zeke thinks that if it weren't for her, his dad wouldn't have made this decision.
ALEX: He's right, Susan.
ZEKE: (moves over to cuddle her) I love you.
SUSAN: (overcome with emotion) Oh Zeke… I love you too.
Ned overhears Corey on his mobile, and shock of all shocks, he's talking to his girlfriend. Once Corey's hung up he gets all up in his face and asks if he's been stringing Gino along to score the lead role. Corey just laughs at him and says he would have done the same if he had the brains to. This hits a nerve with Ned and he starts to tussle him to the ground, which causes his shirt to inch up giving us half-shirtless Ned. Woo! Gino walks in and stops them, wanting to know what in the blazes is going on.
Corey steps in right away and says to Gino that Ned's acting out on his jealousy about not getting the lead role. Before Ned can explain himself, Gino orders him out or he'll have to call the police. “You're a disgrace to amateur theatre!” Corey smirks as poor little, yet gargantuan, Needles walks out.
Elle's caught up with Ned in the store and can't believe he left without telling Gino the truth. Ned tries to dismiss it but Elle won't let it be and drags him out the door back to the hall.
Max, Karl and Lou sit down to a hearty hangover brekkie. Lou's chipper, Max is sickly and Karl has nicely face planted and fallen asleep on the table.
LOU: Heart attack on a plate! Lovely!
MAX: (delicately) Ah, who's idea was it to kick on to the casino?
LOU: That would be yours, sunshine.
MAX: Right… so was that before or after the small furry animal crawled into my mouth and… (tries not to vomit) carked it?
Lou tells him to tuck into his meal and nudges Karl awake to start his.
Gino is showing Corey some lovely dance moves, including the ever-wonderful sashay, as Ned and Elle arrive. He thanks her but says he better do this on his own.
Gino is exasperated that Ned's back but this time Neddy tells him the truth, “Corey lives with his girlfriend, he's ah… not as available as he's making out.” Corey denies, denies, denies but Ned says to check the last call made on his mobile. There's lots of to-ing and fro-ing of ‘Show me the phone' ‘No' ‘Just show me' ‘No' from Gino and Corey until he finally relents and says he has a girlfriend. The random extras in the background are simply scandalized. They thought they were in with a chance too! Gino demands he leave as the saddest music score known to mankind plays overhead. It's like the music they would use if Karl was trying to save Susan from something and he couldn't help her and she died. Used in this situation though? Hilarious.
Made even funnier when it quickly cuts out as Lou tells Gino he'll be the star of the play. Hehe. Karl and Max struggle with the breakfast and Gino goes on about his casting anguish, not wanting to throw Lou a bone. Lou, not swayed by this dejection, starts to sing a song for him to prove he's up to scratch. I believe it's called Some Old Dude Song. Gino resolves not to let this little mishap stop the play and walks out the door with Lou following him, still singing. Max and Karl bask in the silence and try to start eating their brekkie again when Lou bustles back in to finish his tune. Max and Karl? May very well smack his lights out… if they could be bothered moving.
House of PIE
Paul is walking the security guards to the door letting them know they're not needed anymore, while Izzy follows behind and sprays a gallon of air freshener after them because they've also been hanging out with stinky hygiene free Jake from Erinsborough High.
Izzy wants to know why he's being so jovial with everyone and Paul replies that he's just enjoying being alive. He wants to try out being a decent human being for a change. “Is this a karma thing?” Izzy asks, cracking up laughing. She sprays some air freshener in his face before moving off.
Elle finishes her phone call with her brother and tells Paul she misses him. So he says that they should come and visit. Izzy's a little unsure but Paul's all for it. Elle's excited – Robert hates his guts but Cameron would love to come.
Zeke's still on a high about the fact that they're going to find Katya but Rachel's not so peachy. “What if she's dead?” Zeke gets a little aggro and says she's not, he just knows she isn't. They make their way outside to walk Audrey while Alex and Susan appear in the kitchen.
Alex questions whether he's doing the right thing regarding Katya. Susan says it's made Zeke so happy but Alex replies that he's too young to remember all the strife and trouble. “I'm worried that she might bring nothing but misery.”
Bring on Cartia… Cart-cha… Cardia… Carch-a... Carty-a… Katya I say!