Izzy walking out on Paul in a huff
Lynnie booting the Timmins' out
Annoyed Joe sits on one couch with Harvey while the despondent Timmins kids sit on the other. Janelle is trying to talk Lynnie around but she's only making her more annoyed.
JANELLE: It's the change isn't it?
LYN: (sighs wearily) Janelle, I need some space. I want my life back.
She adds that it's her problem, not anyone else's, but Janelle still tries to blame everyone but herself; Dylan (‘cause he stinks in the morning), Janae (‘cause she leaves her “war paint” all over the vanity), Bree (she's in her “difficult teen smart alec” phase at the moment), Stingray (“I can tone him down!”) and even Joe (“We were on a good thing here till you stuck your bib in”). Lyn rolls her eyes and says that she wants them out by the time her and Joe get back from the Scarlet Bar.
Janelle has inherited selective hearing because instead of packing her bags she's decided that all they need to do is make the house look spick and span. And by ‘they' she means ‘the kids' – Janelle sits despairingly on the couch while the kids bustle around her.
Paul, Izzy & Elle's aka PIE
Elle is busy dusting the shelf of secret pill storage when there's a knock at the door. “Come in!” she chirps – and what happens if it wasn't Ned, huh? Those Avon ladies are pretty darn scary you know.
Ned asks if Izzy is in, he wanted to know if there were any more jobs going. Elle says she isn't but also thinks Ned is just using that as a cover and that he's really there to see her. Ned, being sharp as a bowling ball, doesn't get why she's coming on so strong. “Why don't you get to the real reason you're here,” Elle suggests. “To ask me out on a date.” Ned smiles then gets a patent confused look on his face. He's probably thinking, ‘A date… hmm… how about I come back on the 30th of September?'
Max is having a nice chat with Lynnie about how stressed Steph is over the whole Joe ‘not my dad' Mangel situation. It's not because she's not getting her own way, as Lynnie thinks, it's because Joe ‘my dad' Scully keeps ringing and she has to keep covering for Lyn.
LYN: Oh, not you, love.
MAX: See Joe #1 doesn't know about… Joe. So every time he calls she's got to cover.
Lyn realises what Steph's going through and resolves to tell Joe about Joe. Max smiles and walks away while Lyn starts to find her mobile and laments on the hurt she's caused not only to Steph but to the Timmins' as well. Joe tells her to hold on though, she may have angered Steph but she did the right thing with the Timmins clan.
JOE: Just imagine what it's going to be like with the three of us.
LYN: (smiles) Aw, I can't wait. Just you and me and little Ozzy.
JOE: Oh yeah… yeah, him too. And Harvey! That'd make five of us.
They start to smooch and Paul, who has just limped in, tells them to get a room. Joe says he would if he could afford it; he's been putting off other potential customers while he waits to start work on Paul's place. Paul's like, ‘Uh, yes, that's kind of off now.'
LYN: Yeah you never intended to go through with that extension did ya? You just wanted to annoy the neighbours!
PAUL: Ah, how can I put this… Yes!
Paul offers Joe a job as maintenance man for Lassiter's and all is well again.
Elle's still trying to get a response from Ned. So far he's admitted she's beautiful and interesting, “but not beautiful and interesting enough to ask on a date?” she wonders. Elle asks if he's just teasing him, all the while preying on him like a lion to a scared gazelle. “I don't know how they do it in the country but Christmas is coming and I'm going to help you out…” (Here's where my reception cut out and a blood-curdling scream was heard around the nation). When the picture comes back I *think* she just invited him to stay for a drink but he says he's got to be somewhere.
ELLE: Fine, I'll have dinner with dad and come over later then.
NED: You might get tied up.
(Watch out for a new late night spin-off, Shirtless Ned does bondage)
ELLE: (smirks and invades Ned's personal space) Is that a promise?
NED: Tied up with your dad.
ELLE: Right Ned.
He leaves looking very troubled that she won't take no for an answer. Elle resumes her shelf cleaning and wouldn't you know it, she bumps a dust collector and finds Izzy's pills behind it.
Boyd bumps into Ned just as he's leaving the store holding a sports bag. Excitable Boyd, having just consumed some Mexican jumping beans it seems, rambles on about not getting results like he used to with his training (he's just been for a 10km run) and asks what sport Ned is into. Ned's very antsy about sharing though and says he likes to train alone. His reluctance to confide in Boyd can only mean one thing; his sport is synchronised swimming.
Paul arrives home to a tidy lounge room and chicken curry cooking away on the stove, courtesy of Elle. He says she doesn't have to do all that, he's happy just spending time with her. Paul spies a manila folder on the bench and asks what it is. Elle says it's nothing but it's obvious she's planted it there and “forgot” to put it away. The folder contains ‘Dear dad' letters she has kept; letters she wrote to Paul over the years but never sent.
They sit down at the table to have a good old read of them when… “Hi, I'm home!” Elle scowls as Izzy makes her presence known in the kitchen. Paul thought she wasn't going to be back for a few more days but Izzy says she doesn't need the health farm anymore, “you're all the therapy I need.” Elle's face is a picture of, ‘Ugh. Whatever.'
Lyn and Joe creep into a dark lounge room and sound relieved.
LYN: Oh Joe, they've gone!
JOE: I thought that bolshy scrag would have put up more of a fight.
(Lights flick on in the kitchen and the Timmins' appear)
JANELLE: Who are you calling a scrag?!
DYLAN & STINGRAY: (half-heartedly) Surprise?
Lyn and Joe can't believe it but Janelle thinks they just can't believe how clean and tidy the house is. “This is so painful,” Janae whispers to Dylan. Joe and Janelle get into a verbal tussle about who deserves to be in the house more and Janelle hopes that Lynnie isn't “one of those chicks that chooses a man over a mate”. Lyn says she's not; they can stay…
STINGRAY: (to Joe) Take that ya cake taker!
… Only till the morning though then they're outta there. “I'm choosing ME!” Lynnie says exasperatedly.
JOE: (to Stingray) Take that oh taker of the cake.
Izzy comments in a not so convincing tone that the chicken curry is delicious. Elle apologises for the small serves, “I thought I was just cooking for two.” She gets up to wash the dishes and Paul follows her, saying sorry for not knowing Izzy was coming back so early. He thinks a great idea would be for Elle and Izzy to have a catch up chat while *he* does the dishes. Oh Paul, you'll never learn will you? The apocalypse happens every time those two are left alone together.
Izzy asks if she's been housetraining Paul since she's been gone but Elle snits that her dad can look after himself… luckily.
IZZY: Why luckily?
ELLE: Just in case someone isn't with it enough to look after him.
IZZY: Are we talking about anyone in particular?
ELLE: Independence runs in our family. We don't need anyone or anything to get us through.
Izzy gives her the death stare and takes her plate into the kitchen. “Hey gorgeous,” says Paul. “Don't ‘gorgeous' me,” Izzy replies coldly. Paul's wondering what happened in the two whole seconds he left the both of them alone.
Janae's over telling Boyd that they're being shipped back to Colac in the morning. Boyd asks if she's upset about leaving everything like the street, the dramas, your friends…
JANAE: Like who?
BOYD: Well like me for one.
JANAE: Ah, but we hate each other remember?
BOYD: But that doesn't mean I'm not going to miss having you around to hate.
JANAE: (smiles) Me too… You know you hated me a lot more than I hated you.
BOYD: (chuckles) You reckon?
JANAE: I was the one who made the moves!
BOYD: Only cause you were desperate.
JANAE: Oh, pfft! Yeah, you know what? You're right. No girl would go to you unless they scraped the bottom of the barrel.
She wonders if he's just being nice to her now that it's safe because she's going but he says no, he wishes it could have been like this from the beginning. They can't believe this is the last time they'll see one another and seem to be going in for a kiss when Max wanders out from his bedroom.
MAX: All right, Steph. One peanut butter and avocado sandwich coming…
Janae takes this as her cue to leave and Max looks at Boyd as he explains that the Timmins have been kicked out of Lyn's and are moving back to Colac. Max assumes he's going to miss his mate. Boyd says he wouldn't call Janae a mate exactly. “I was talking about Stingray,” Max replies.
Izzy and Paul have another argument while Elle is “in the shower” aka eavesdropping on the hallway stairs. She can't believe Paul betrayed her confidence with his daughter about her pill taking. Paul says he only did it so he could draw more confidence with Elle but Izzy no likey.
IZZY: You used my problems to score points with your daughter?
PAUL: Look you're wrong about Elle, she cares about you!
IZZY: Why are men so stupid? She's competing against me, she wants to take me down and you are helping her.
Paul admits that Elle's having a little trouble adjusting to him having a new woman in his life but it's nothing like Izzy's making it out to be; why, she's acting more paranoid than anything. “Ah, is this what it's all about? Are you on pills again Izzy?”
CRASH! TINKLE! SPLASH!
That was the sound of a glass of wine narrowly missing Paul's head and smashing on the wall behind him. “Izzy!” he shouts in surprise. Elle giggles away mischievously in the hallway.
The kitchen is dark as Joe makes his way to the fridge for a late night snack. Suddenly, Janelle's face appears over the top of the door, the fridge light making her look spooky. He nearly pees his pants when she announces herself and asks what the heck she's doing.
JANELLE: (in a monotone scary voice) I got your number.
JANELLE: You brainwashed Lynnie
JOE: No I didn't.
JANELLE: She wouldn't have kicked us out otherwise. It's your doing.
JANELLE: You know what happened to the last person who tried to shaft a Timmins?
JOE: (sarcastically) They didn't live to tell the tale.
JANELLE: Oh they lived all right, they just wished they hadn't. Watch your back, Mangel.
Janelle slinks away into the black of night as the spooky music of ‘this bogan woman is going to get me in my sleep!' whirls and twirls on in the background. Joe looks a mixture of frightened and dumbstruck.
Elle is cosied up to a nervous Ned on the couch while they watch TV. He practically jumps through the roof when she rests her hand on his leg, but this only serves to make her amused. She loves these little games he's playing to keep her on her toes. He says he's not playing games and that he's only been coming over so often to look for work. Elle coyly says she knows of a few odd jobs that need doing. Ned, being as bright as a blown-out globe, thinks this is great news, especially since Paul told him nothing was going.
ELLE: Look; I think you and I both know that your visits have a little social agenda, right? So unless you're coming over to see my dad or his trophy girlfriend… That just leaves me.
NED: Don't say that about Izzy, she's more than that.
ELLE: (smile is wiped off her face) Oh my God.
NED: Well it's just that everyone around here seems to hate her but she's not that bad.
ELLE: She has got her filthy tentacles everywhere, doesn't she?
Elle says that all his visits have been to see Izzy then, even when Ned protests that he just needed money from some odd jobs. Elle's fine though, she's used to having everything revolve around Izzy. Yes, because you've been in Erinsborough for all of twenty seconds?
Izzy races downstairs to find her secret stash of pills, panicking for a moment when she can't reach them, only to discover them behind another dust collector. Elle, coming back from Ned's, spies on her through the kitchen window. Izzy goes to take one but instead chucks them all in the bin with a RATTLE and a CLANG and a CRASH! Way to go keeping yourself quiet in the dead of the night, Izz. (‘What are you doing?' Paul should yell out. ‘Oh nothing… CLANG! Just making a cuppa! CRASHRATTLEBANG!').
She makes her way upstairs while Elle sneaks in through the back door and quietly (and I mean quietly this time – Izzy should take lessons) grabs the pills out of the bin.
The kids and Janelle make their way into the lounge room with their bags, giving Lyn and Joe (who are sitting on the couch) glares as they assemble by the front door. Janelle makes a big song and dance about them heading off and tells Lynnie, much to her surprise, that they're not going back to Colac. She's staying at the salon and the kids will stay at Erinsborough High. Oh, and she'll stick by Lynnie when Joe, the no good lump, eventually racks off on her, ‘cause he will you know! Even though Lynnie isn't showing her the same gratitude at the moment.
JOE: That's enough, just get your bogan bums in the car and ping off!
DYLAN: Don't talk to mum like that!
JANAE: Yeah? And if we're bogans what does that make you?
STINGRAY: Yeah, apologise.
JOE: As if.
JANELLE: It's all right kids, Joe knows the score. Don't ya, Joe?
JOE: You worry me, Janelle.
Stingray asks his mum where they're going if they're not going back to Colac. Janelle gloats that she's got something much better than the Colac Caravan Park lined up for them, smiling smugly.
West Warratah Caravan Park
Dylan and Stingray guide the van Janelle is driving into their campsite while she chats with Janae and Bree through the window. Bree can't believe they're back in a van and the boys comment that last time they were in one of these they nearly killed one another (complimenting this memory nicely by starting to wrestle). Janae says at least they don't have to move schools again, just as Janelle backs over someone's tent because the boys aren't watching her anymore. She stops the van and clambers to the door.
JANELLE: Last one in gets the stinky bunk!
All the kids make their way inside the groovy yellow bus with the red stripe. Screaming and shouting ensues. Wow, this is going to be just like the Partridge family… minus the musical ability and the gene that makes them not want to kill one another of course.
Elle makes breakfast for Paul and “accidentally” (I get a lot of air quote usage out of this character… “Excellent”) knocks her handbag over, making the pill bottle drop to the floor. She claims they're hers but Paul sees Izzy's name on them and she confesses that she was going to throw them out after she found them on the shelf, “I'm sure she's not still taking them. There's got to be an explanation.”
PAUL: I think it's pretty clear what's going on.
ELLE: Don't be mad at her, dad. She obviously just can't help herself.
PAUL: Right. Obviously she can't.