Max and Steph finding out about Izzy selling her share of the SB
Lou and Harold seeing shirtless Ned at Paul and Izzy's
Paul flushing Izzy's pills down the sink
Izzy rushes in and demands an appointment with a doctor from nurse Gareth, the guy whom Darcy hit square in the groin for being a meanie. Continuing on with that reputation, and because he can see that Izzy is only one stop away from pill-junkie-ville, he tells her to take a seat and wait her turn.
Ned strides through another door and sits next to Izzy; he's just been at the chiropractor. Izzy asks if Paul sent him but he says only indirectly, “Chiro reckons I must have put it [his back] out doing the weeding.” Izzy thinks that's peachy but she'd really just rather wait on her own – so Ned bids her adieu and goes on his way.
A nurse wheels a BIG tray of pills past Izzy. She watches with hungry eyes.
Lou, wearing a cap backwards (like that's so 1990), is telling Toadie, Connor and Stu that Paul has hired Ned to be Izzy's toy boy. The boys scoff at this but Lou insists it's true, “He's trimming a few hedges… hoeing the flower bed.” Settle down, Louis.
Speak of the shirtless one, in he walks. The fellas crack up when they find out he'd just been with Izzy trying to cheer her up but she wasn't really in the mood. Ned, not being in the innuendo squad, doesn't get what's so funny about him mowing the lawn and “clearing some deadwood.” He sidesteps the chuckle brothers (Connor and Toadie) and asks Stu about Steiger; he's pretending he never heard Stu say he resigned. Lou has snuck into the hallway to shake up a can of beer – Ned opens it up only for it to spray into Toadie's face. He goes off to calmly get a cloth. “I told you he's unflappable,” says Stu. The guys make a bet with one another; if the chuckle brothers can make him crack they get an ‘all you can eat feast' from the GS. If Lou wins he gets out of cleaning for a week. They cackle their way into the next scene.
Gareth catches Izzy rifling through the pill cupboard, “This isn't self-serve you know.” He guesses she's already been to see all the doctors in the area (all but one my friend, all but one), and now she's doing the hospitals. She tells him it's none of his business but dodgy Gareth has a dodgy offer to make her. His shift finishes pretty soon, “I just may be able to provide you with what you're looking for…”
Steph tells Max that the guy rang again whom Izzy made the offer to. They worry about what to do when Paul steps in to save the day. “I spoke to the bloke and sorted a few things out.” Max thanks him but gets squinty-eyed… judging by the look on Paul's face, there's something else to be worried about. And he'd be right! Paul slams an empty pill bottle on the bench, “Izzy's mood stabilisers; which she's been taking in pretty unstable quantities.”
Ned is fast asleep on the lounge room floor whilst Lou creeps in to put his hand into a bowl of warm water – water makes you pee you see. But, Connor and Toadie have other ideas; they want to shave one of his eyebrows off. No! Not his pretty face! So Lou decides to do something different altogether. He lets the air out in Ned's mattress. Wow, best prank player ever. Move over Bart Simpson.
Gareth rocks up late to he and Izzy's little meeting, which bugs Izzy to no end. She gets even more annoyed when he says he's only got a little sample for her – if they meet again tomorrow though he'll have all the pills she could ever possibly want. He's like the Willy Wonka of the dodgy medicinal dealings world. And you thought the Oompa Loompas were trippy enough *without* pill-enhancement…
Gareth high-tails it out of there when Max, Steph and Paul enter the bar. They've been looking everywhere for her but she says they needn't have bothered; she was just out taking a walk. Paul tells her they know about the pills but she doesn't see the problem, heaps of people take sleeping pills and antidepressants to help them.
IZZY: They're prescription tablets, it's not a crime.
MAX: It's the quantities we're worried about, Izzy.
IZZY: I thought I was struck off your worry list.
MAX: Look, I'm not that crazy about the way you've been acting recently but it doesn't mean I've washed my hands of you.
IZZY: Am I supposed to be grateful? Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but you're all overreacting.
PAUL: That wasn't tic tacs I washed down the sink, Izzy.
She shows them her empty handbag and says she doesn't have a problem. Oh, and if they want to help her? They can stay the heck out of her life.
Paul & Izzy's
Izzy and Gareth noisily arrive home to find Paul sitting up waiting on the couch. Gareth sleazes all over Izzy to, ick, mark his place causing Paul to get annoyed and tell him to get out (sadly, not in CAPS). Izzy holds them apart and tells them not to fight but she clearly loves the attention. She brings Paul into the kitchen for a word.
PAUL: If you think that I'm going to put up with you bringing in a conga line of strangers to my house you're very wrong.
IZZY: (gets close to his face) Just say the word and he's gone.
Paul reminds her they've talked about that already so Izzy gives him a look and leaves him in the kitchen to attend to her houseguest, leading him upstairs. Paul gets cranky and swipes everything off the kitchen table in a fit of rage.
Bishop House – Front Veranda
Lil is conducting the Dad ‘n' Dave tuba orchestra the next morning to rouse Paul and Izzy from their slumber. Serena gets some mail out of the mailbox (geez these posties are early in Erinsborough) and reads a letter addressed to ‘Mutza' – from Svetlanka methinks. Whatever it's about she looks mighty happy.
Paul pops his head over the fence and tells them to cut it out. It's not about him for once though; he says that Izzy isn't feeling well. Lil and David muster up zero sympathy to let out a sarcastic, “Awww.” Paul eye rolls his way inside as Dave and Lil start up a rendition of When The Saints Go Marching In. Harry gets them to stop though, he thinks they've had enough fun now and should show some compassion. “Everybody deserves it, David. That's our point.” Dave just ‘whatevers' him then adds that he thinks he's ready to join the Salvo band. Harry makes a quick getaway so he doesn't have to answer him.
Lou and Connor look on as Ned slumbers away on a now flat air mattress.
LOU: Who does he think he is? The sleeping beauty?
CONNOR: Compared to the sight of you lying sprawled out on the settee drooling like a gorilla?
LOU: Oi, have you looked at yourself lately?
CONNOR: Have you?
Toadie walks in to see what's going on just as the two men step on Ned to wake him up… shirtless Ned. Bless him. They laugh when they find out his back is a bit wonky but the laughter soon turns to disbelief when he turns even *this* situation into a positive. His back has never felt better! All he needed was a hard mattress it seems. He goes off to have a shower as shirtless Stu appears in the hallway… bless him. He thinks they should give up, Ned's still king of the unflappable. They should just glue a shirt to him, I'm sure that would annoy him to no end.
Paul & Izzy's
Gareth slobs all over the fridge door, drinking OJ out of the carton, as Paul walks in the back door and gives him the stink eye. Gareth smarms that he saw Paul at the hospital a few months back, “The crim who refused treatment.” He rubs salt in the wound further by saying that he and Izzy became firm friends last night but Paul's on to him, he knows G-Man spent the night in the spare room.
GARETH: There's always tonight.
PAUL: Not for you, now go on, get out.
GARETH: (starts to walk out) You know, I'm surprised you can keep your hands off her. Oh that's right, you're not quite up to it are you?
(Here's the point where I yelled at the TV ‘Whack him with your walking stick!')
PAUL: (gets mad) You haven't got the faintest idea what sort of woman she really is. The only reason you got a look in last night was because she was in self-destruct mode (shoves Gareth's coat at him). Get out.
GARETH: Funny, I don't remember her hopping to your defence last night.
He leaves as Izzy sees that it's safe to go into the kitchen. “Hope you're not expecting him back,” snits Paul. Izzy decides to respond by silently taking a pill in front of him. Instead of getting angry though, Paul continues on with cooking breakfast for her. Izzy's defiant nature simmers down and she seems stunned that someone actually genuinely cares about her.
While Stu is in the waiting room he looks on at Gareth talking to a patient – nothing suss at the moment but he still has his suspicious police goggles on. Oh yay! Steph's in the scene! Oh, and y'know, Max as well. But Steph! And Stu! Same scene!
He tells Steph he's there for a check-up for his eyes and she tells him she's having a proper ultrasound. He congratulates Steph again and says he guesses he'll be seeing her again soon. Yes you will. In your secret rendezvous place at Lassiter's… or not. The Hoylands leave for their appointment (Max was there and said some stuff too… or was that Stuph? Minor details…), and Stu puts his police goggles back on again as he watches Gareth ask another nurse to cover him so he can go on a break. How is he suspicious after seeing him for one second? Or did he think he was suss around the time Darcy was there, too? Memory of a goldfish here.
Lou has a new design for the General Store, or the ‘GS' as Lou now likes to call it. Harry isn't appreciative of it though because it looks like graffiti. “Don't worry the kids will be down with it,” says Lou, doing embarrassing rap star hand signals.
HAROLD: Isn't it about twenty years too late for you to be having a midlife crisis?
LOU: I am living in la vida loca and loving it.
HAROLD: (chuckles and dumps the poster in the bin) Don't even know what it means.
LOU: (takes poster out and follows him into the kitchen) You are starting to marsh my mallow. Come back here you!
Are we sure that the GS poster wasn't a Ricky Martin one? In the non-Jack Scully sense of course!
Connor and Serena walk in to have another chat with David and Lil. Turns out that Svetlanka is giving Serena $20,000 for her gap year to spend on what she wants. Lil says that money was for uni fees but Serena has a better idea; she's going to invest in Bounce. Dave and Lil like that idea about as much as Izzy likes going without pills. They can't change her mind though, this is what she wants.
Connor sprays Ned with some water but he doesn't even move. Serena is having a chat with Toadie in the background about investing in the place. He wants to know why she wouldn't use the money to get herself a uni degree but Serena believes that she can learn more about business by doing business.
Connor sprays Ned with the water bottle with the vim of an old lady spraying a cat who constantly wees on her lawn. “Thanks mate, it was getting pretty steamy in here,” Ned smirks.
Back at the counter, Serena asks Toadie if they're partners. “Congratulations, you're fired,” replies Donald Trump, ah, I mean Toadie. He hugs her and welcomes her aboard, letting Connor in on the good news. Serena is his boss now!
Stu is pretending to work on his car so he can spy on Gareth sitting at Grease Monkey's. Two shady looking random extras join the G-Man and Stu gets his digital camera, helpfully placed next to him, to grab the incriminating shot. Wouldn't you know it though, a car drives past at the pivotal moment and he misses the shot. The deal is done.
Max and Steph look at their ickle baby on the ultrasound machine. Max is all, ‘I knew it would be a boy… and WHAT a boy!' The nurse tells him it's just the umbilical cord but he says he was just trying to lighten the mood. She asks the awestruck parents if they want to know the sex of the baby, and after a bit of confusion, they say that they don't. “I think just knowing the baby is alive and well is enough for now,” Steph smiles.
Shirtless Ned (there's a sentence I never tire of typing) finishes fixing some shelves and asks Serena if there's anything else she wants done. She tries not to perv on the goodness that is his bod and wonders if he's entered their Mr Erinsborough competition yet. Ned doesn't think it's his thing though and goes off to get some lunch. Still shirtless, and kinda sweaty… like a Manpower calendar on the month of September… Ahem.
David wanders in and before Serena can get a word in edgeways, he blathers on about sitting down and really talking things through in regards to the money. Serena finally gets a chance to speak and lets him know of a little song she wrote earlier called ‘Too late, I already bought in' in D-Minor. She says it's got nothing to do with him and he pulls the old ‘while you're under my roof routine' – not smart Davo cause Serena decides there and then, without consulting Connor, that she's moving in with him. Oh look, why not? We'll just rename it from the HoT to the HoS; House of Sardines, cause they'll sure as heck be packed in like them.
Stu has tailed Gareth to the bar and looks even more interested when he sees Izzy join him. Gareth wants to have a bite to eat and a chat but all Izzy wants to bite is his hand off if he doesn't give her the pills. She hands the money envelope over which is Stu's cue to get his badge out and make an arrest. G-Man tries to sprint away but Stu's back up races inside in time and grabs him.
STU: Isabelle Hoyland, you're in violation of Section 73 of the drugs, poisons and controlled substances act.
IZZY: Stuart, please…
STU: Do you realise you're under arrest? You're not obliged to say or do anything, anything you may say or do may be taken down and used as evidence in a court of law.
Ned looks on in concern in the background while Izzy tries not to cry.