Lyn tells Joe that he either has the op or she moves out of the bedroom
Darcy knocks Penny back
Penny says it's not her normal approach and Darcy's flattered, but he could be struck off. Penny asks him to forget that she made a move on him and says that she'll see him later. As a patient of course.
Lyn calls Joe in for dinner but he says he'd rather go for a jog. Lyn realises that he's in favour of the alternative to the op – losing weight.
LYN: I don't think you're going to lose enough by tomorrow morning to make a difference.
She's not letting him get off the hook; he's not got the willpower to see through a fitness regime.
Lou is putting up a board advertising a "mystery guest". Harold says it looks exciting, but Lou admits that it's not. It's a mate he owes a favour to.
HAROLD: So what does he do?
LOU: Wouldn't be a mystery if I told you. Come along tonight and find out.
Drew brings over the tools for Stu, then notices the big glass case sat on the workbench. It's Howard's domain. Drew can't quite believe that Stu's keeping a snake in the house but Stu says it's not dangerous. Drew comments that Lib would have a fit if she knew it were still on the street, at which point Stu says it can't get out.
Everyone see what's coming next? Right then.
STU: I put the glass on the top so he can't get out.
Yes. That pane of glass that's moved and so isn't covering the top. And yes, he's got out. Drew calls him back from the cage to fix the fridge and comments that the snake must sleep all the time, what with not much else to do. Stu agrees, saying he's sleeping now… right before taking a nervous look around.
Joe's finally up and croaks that he's not feeling well. It just came on overnight and was really bad, he couldn't sleep. He shouldn't have the op, not if he's ill. They should reschedule it. Lyn agrees but says they should go to the doctor's anyway if he's ill.
JOE: (in his normal voice) Strewth, Lyn, I can't go to the doctor's if I'm crook!
Kinda defeats the purpose there, one would have thought.
Lyn tells him to stop his nonsense and they're going. End of.
Penny walks in and apologises to Darcy again. She wanted to give him something, a personal attack alarm.
PENNY: For the next patient who gets out of line and makes a pass at the doctor.
He drops it down on the table and it goes off. He makes a bad joke about the desk being alarmed which leads to another bad joke about doors being alarmed, running around waving their arms in the air.
That would involve doors actually having arms in the first place.
Amelia walks in and Penny leaves as Amelia asks what the deal is for tonight. Darcy says he'll meet her at the Coffee Shop.
Drew calls it quits; neither of them are fridge experts so they should just hire someone. Stu says it's just a motor, he's a mechanic so he should be able to fix it. As Drew packs up he notices the tank and when he can't see Howard he realises that he's out.
Harold thinks that gifts should be gift wrapped, not just in a bag. Lou can't see the point, she'd just tear through the paper anyway. Rosie comes in, interrupting the debate. The three of them sit down and Lou says there's a reason they asked her to lunch. He hands over the bag and she pulls out a photo album. When Rosie opens it she's touched to find that they've had a bunch of her photos restored. Lou says it's the least they could do, him especially. He feels guilty about what happened but Rosie reassures him, kissing him on the forehead. Poor Harry looks a bit upset at this.
Joe thinks Darcy's too busy to see them, he can come back. No, the patients waiting are Karl's; Darcy has blocked this time off just for Joe. He asks about other options, Darcy says the main one will have him in hospital for a week and it's another operation with only a 60% success rate. This one, however, really works.
DARCY: And best part is you can go home as soon as it's over.
JOE: I'd feel better if I could go home before then.
Joe panics and races from the room, saying he can't do this. Lyn follows him into the waiting room.
LYN: Joe Scully, you go out that door you'll be sleeping by yourself from now on. I mean it, Joe. I will clean out that sewing room, somehow, I will move in there and you will not have visiting rights.
Joe looks at the two people waiting.
JOE: I snore.
LYN: Yeah. Like a diesel truck. Joe, you get back in there and stop acting like a baby. Or you're in for some very lonely nights.
Faced with enforced celibacy, Joe skulks back in while Lyn gets a mini round of applause.
Stu obviously thinks that Bob is a mongoose and is using him to try and track down Howard. Bob's not in the slightest bit interested though. Drew berates Stu for keeping it as a pet. Stu says it's probably long gone by now but Drew reckons it could just as easily be in a drawer somewhere.
As they're looking, Lou walks in. He's on the hunt for someone to volunteer themselves at the 'mystery night' at the pub. Drew (wisely) says that he's not volunteering for anything he doesn't know about. But Chooka will do it and Stu reluctantly agrees. Lou's thrilled, and after he's gone the boys get back to looking for Howard.
Darcy's prepping for the operation while Joe floats along on the pre-med.
JOE: No more snoring, Lynnie. You'll get some sleep. No more snoring. I won't have to sleep on my own 'cause you'll be right there beside me.
Darcy asks how he's feeling and after Joe squeals that he feels great, Darcy asks him to open wide.
JOE: No problemo, Doco!
Lou makes sure his act knows what he's doing before saying to keep it short and sweet. Lou's not best pleased to find that this is his first real audience – he's done family and friends but now he's ready for "the big time". Lou's ready for the intro, so his friend hands him a card and tells him to read it.
LOU: Ladies and gentlemen, you must all be wondering who the mystery entertainer is… It's the Amazing Rufo. Hypnotist extraordinaire.
"Rufo" gives a very theatrical introduction to his act then asks for a volunteer. After some prodding Stu gets to his feet. Rufo begins to put him under with the classic watch in front of the face deal.
Darcy walks in and is fronted up with Amelia waiting for him at one table, and Penny sat reading a book at the next. He apologises to Amelia for keeping her late. As he sits down he drops his keys onto the table, setting off the alarm. He makes the same bad joke about the table being alarmed but Amelia doesn't get it. He adds in the bad joke about alarmed doors and oh my god she explains why the door is alarmed and why it won't need a script for Prozac.
Darcy glances across at Penny, who smiles back, and he's wondering if he's made the right choice. He asks Amelia what she wants to do (she doesn't mind, his choice), if she has a favourite restaurant (not really), anything she'd like to try (not really), she's happy with whatever he likes.
I dated a male version of her once. For once I can empathise with Darcy. It's not fun when you're the sole decision maker.
Stu's gone 'under' and Rufo tells him to remember happy times. He smiles… and we cut to Rosie who's also got her eyes shut and smiling. Uh oh.
Rufo comments that Stu's friends call him Chooka and gives him the prompt to become a chook, scratching around with all the other chooks. He does so, squawking away as he flaps his wings. Harold's very amused by this and Rosie's reaction could be taken as amusement, but she still has her eyes closed.
Rufo corrects Stu; he's not a chook, he's a rooster. King of the barnyard. Stu crows before Rufo gets him to relax. He invites Harold up to the stage which he does so reluctantly. Rufo tells Stu that he's a handsome and dashing movie star, a world famous lover. And he's trying to seduce this beautiful, young blonde… Harold.
Stu immediately starts to crack onto Harold who's not happy with this.
STU: (sniffs) What is that perfume you're wearing? It just begs 'kiss me, kiss me'.
HAROLD: No it doesn't. It's aftershave. Pour Homme. That's 'For Men'.
Joe's got the same inane grin on his face and it's almost like he's been hypnotised. Lyn brings him some jelly and ice cream and tells him that when he's eaten it it's off to bed where he will sleep soundly – as will she with any luck. Then they'll both be rested for Stephie's big day.
JOE: You know, you're a really good wife, Lynnie. A really, really, really, really good wife.
She thanks Joe for doing this for her.
Stu's still putting the moves on Harold and Rufo starts to bring Stu out of it. Lou notices that Rosie's suddenly talking. In Italian.
Rufo clicks his fingers and Stu snaps out of it. He's a little freaked to find out what he'd been doing and Rufo takes a bow. He calls for three more volunteers and Rosie jumps to her feet.
ROSIE: Thank you all so much for coming. I'm very pleased to announce that the goals and objectives we've been striving for in the past financial year have all been met. There are one or two exceptions which I'll come to later…
So not all met then?
ROSIE: …but for now, congratulations one and all.
And she gives a little mini applause of her own. She continues as Lou and Harold try to get through to her.
Darcy gets off the phone having made a booking at some restaurant which they can follow up with a walk along the beach. Penny gets up and immediately goes over on her ankle. Darcy leaps to her aid, asking for a towel and some ice.
There's an 'alarming' joke and a look, and in the background Amelia watches on.
Lou tells Rufo he's hypnotised Rosie and Rufo attempts to bring her out of it. He snaps his fingers and she stops her meeting, sits down… and begins the Italian again, ordering a coffee in a very coy manner.
Stu's watching on and asks Drew if he was just as out of it. Did he say anything stupid? Drew asks if he wants to know, I mean, Harold's not movie star potential but then what does he know…?
Harold and Lou are trying to yell Rosie out of her hypnotism and when it doesn't work Lou glares at Rufus.
Joe's sat on the couch, clutching his throat. Lyn spots him and asks why he's not in bed. Joe mimes and points to his throat. She works out he can't speak (the lack of any words being a biiiiiiiig clue there). She shushes him (too funny!) and tells him not to worry, she'll call Darcy and that he shouldn't worry.
Before reminding him that he needs to make a speech at the wedding.