- George asks Marlene to go on a three month cruise around the world with him.
- Marlene tells Lou she said no to the cruise. He thinks she's mad.
Amy and Lance are playing Monopoly. Ruth interrupts them having a little kiss and when she's gone, they talk about how they'd like to spend time alone. Lance excitedly tells Amy that they'll have the house to themselves all day tomorrow - Ruth is in work all day, and Anne is going to the city with Billy.
LANCE: We can do whatever we want!
AMY: And we won't be playing board games, that's for sure!
Lou is trying to persuade Marlene to go on the cruise - it's only three months, and it's free!
MARLENE: Who's going to look after Louise?
LOU: Who do you think? Me and Darren, we do it all the time!
MARLENE: Yes, but I look after her the most...
LOU: Exactly, and that's why you need a three- month break!
MARLENE: What about if I don't want a break?
LOU: Oh, come on, Marlene, everybody needs a break! Darren and I can manage without you.
MARLENE: Well, what about the surgery? I mean, I love my job, and Karl wouldn't be able to manage without me.
LOU: I'd like to get Karl's opinion on that(!)
MARLENE: What's that supposed to mean?
LOU: It means he's got Sarah there to help him! The surgery is not going to come to a grinding halt just because you're not there!
MARLENE: And what would you know?
LOU: Enough! And you've still not given me one good reason for not going!
MARLENE: Alright then, what about George?
LOU: What about him?
MARLENE: Well, I mean...I mean...who is he, what are his intentions?
LOU: What do you mean?
MARLENE: You know...
Lou laughs heartily.
LOU: You're worried that once he has you on board, he's going to have his wcked, wicked way with you!
MARLENE: Well, not exactly the way I would have put it, but yes!
LOU: You're not going to be sharing a cabin with him, are you?!
MARLENE: Of course, not!
LOU: Well, then, what's your problem?! I'm sure it's a big ship, if you get bored with him, you can always dodge him. Play shuffle- ball while he's in the jacuzzi, you can sunbathe while he's playing pool.
MARLENE: I think you are over- simplifying the matter.
LOU: And I think you've got cold feet! Now, just go! Do it! Sweetheat, it'll be an experience you'll never forget!
Madge and Harold are back. Lou asks Harold for a quiet word in the kitchen - he asks him for George's telephone number as Harold knows him at the bowls club. Harold doesn't have it, but suggests Lou leaves a message at the bowls club.
In the Coffee Shop, Karl moans that there aren't any caramel slices, and Ruth moans that there aren't wholemeal rolls with prosciutto in them. Madge explains that Debbie makes those, so both of them depart disappointed. Madge is not pleased. She says she has an idea, though.
Madge has come to speak to Debbie about coming back as manager in the Coffee Shop - it'll be different this time. Madge explains that Debbie is really good at her job and they respect her now. Debbie says she's committed herself to Lou, but Madge tries to talk her round, saying she'll be calling the shots completely.
Lance and Amy are looking forward to a day on their own. Lance seems a bit nervous(!)
Amy spies Ruth's massage table and asks if they could test it out.
LANCE: You mean, give each other massages?
AMY: Come on, Lance, this is our chance to have some real fun. So, who wants to strip off first?!
Lance looks even more worried!
Hannah and Claire are painting their nails but are generally bored. She says they could steal the mouthpiece of Harold's tuba and hide it - and get a couple of day's off Harold's practising! Just as they're hiding it in a pot in the kitchen, Madge comes in and catches them.
Amy is lying on the massage table covered in a towel. Amy is really enjoying her massage. Lance goes off to get changed for his.
Madge is interrogating Claire about the mouthpiece. She says she was just having fun. Madge is not impressed and tells her off, especially after last time.
MADGE: I'm glad I've finally caught you out. Harold thinks you can't possibly do anyting wrong! But I've had my eye on you for a while now. And I'm warning you, one more slip- up like this, and you'll be on the next plane back to Paris, before you can say 'Ooh- la- la'!
Outside the Pub
Lou has managed to meet up with George. He tells him that Marlene does want to go on the cruise really, she's just nervous. Lou says they can give her a little push and George looks interested. He'll need Karl's help though.
KARL: You want me to sack Marlene?
GEORGE: A bit extreme, I thought. And there's no guarantee she'll come on the cruise with me, even if she *is* sacked!
KARL: Much as I'd love to comply with your request(!) I can't sack her unless I've got good reason - she could sue me!
LOU: Forget I even thought of the idea. The only reason I'm bothering is that I think she should go on that cruise.
KARL: Couldn't agree more.
Just then, Marlene calls from the outer office that she's back from lunch. She comes into the office and is very surprised to see Lou and George there.
KARL: Lou and George felt that you might not be going on the cruise because you're too dedicated to your work.
MARLENE: I see. And, what were you supposed to do about it, sack me?
LOU: Oh, now you're talking silly(!)
Marlene tells George she's shocked at his behaviour. Lou insists that it was all his idea.
MARLENE: I was just on the verge of changing my mind about that cruise, I really was. But to go sneaking around behind my back with him (looking at Lou)...and him (pointing at Karl)
KARL: Nothing to do with me!
MARLENE: I'll be blowed if I'll go anywhere with you, let alone on a cruise!
She stalks off.
Debbie has agreed to come back as manager for the Coffee Shop - she'll start tomorrow once she's squared things with Lou.
Claire comes in to apologise to Harold about the mouthpiece. He isn't very pleased with Claire, but she insists she wants to make it up to them. Madge says she can do the dishes in the kitchen!
HAROLD: See, what I don't understand is, why did she go to such lengths to prevent me from playing? People just have to tell me when I'm playing too loud.
MADGE: I tell you(!)
HAROLD: Well, why didn't Claire?
MADGE: Well, probably more fun to hide the mouthpiece!
HAROLD: You know what, she was probably trying not to offend me. She was probably being sensitive to my feelings.
MADGE:(sighs) Oh, Harold, one of these days someone's really going to take advantage of you(!)
Amy is massaging Lance. He suddenly jumps up and says the oil is burning him. He grabs the bottle and screams that it's meant to be diluted. He rushes off for a shower.
Lou has followed Marlene to the lake and insists that he was the one that got George involved.
MARLENE: You just can't help yourself, can you?
LOU: If you say so.
MARLENE: This *is* my life, Lou!
LOU: But it's such a great opportunity!
MARLENE: I know it's a great opportunity, and it's a pity because I've always wanted to travel, but if I do take this cruise, (casually) and I think I might take it...
Lou's face lights up.
MARLENE: ...it'll be because *I* want to go not because you've pushed me into it!
LOU: Hang on a second! In the middle of all that ranting and raving, did I just hear you say you wanted to go on the cruise.
MARLENE: Oh, I don't know. Did I?
LOU: You just said, 'If I take this cruise, and I think I want to'.
MARLENE: Yes, well, I think that's what I said, yes, that's what I said, yes.
LOU: Well, did you mean it, or are you just rabbiting on?!
MARLENE: Oh, I don't know, I'm now so confused. I was seriously considering it until you came along and stuck your beak in.
LOU: Well, if I pull my beak out, will you go?!
MARLENE: Yes, I will.
LOU: Oh, Marlene about time!
He hugs her and gives her a kiss on the cheek.
Lance has been for a shower and is feeling better now, although his back is a bit burnt(!) He and Amy kiss.
Claire tells Hannah that Madge is not happy with her. Lou sticks his head through the Coffee Shop window and tells Harold that it's fine for him to have Debbie back as manager. Also, they're having a small gathering at his place to celebrate Marlene going on the cruise. Harold says he has to stay and lock up, so he can't make it this time. Claire steps in and says she could lock up. Harold isn't sure, but says he could ask Toadie to help her. Harold heads off with Lou.
George, Marlene, Karl and Madge are having champagne when Harold and Lou arrive. Harold explains to Madge that Claire and Toadie are looking after the Coffee Shop. Madge looks worried and heads straight to the Coffee Shop.
Everything is in chaos. Claire tells Hannah they can close early(!) but as she goes to the door, she sees Madge coming. She and Hannah quickly try to clean up.
CLAIRE: There's only one thing to do. You must take the blame!
CLAIRE: You must tell her it was all your idea.
HANNAH: But it wasn't!
CLAIRE: I know, but if she finds out it was me, she will send me 'ome! You do not want that. Hannah, s'il te plait, you must 'elp me!