- Karl promises to bring a turkey for the Christmas party, despite Susan's protests.
- Debbie is determined not to let her catering business fail, despite not having a kitchen to work out of.
Toadie and Lance are sprawled in the living room.
KARL: Tell me, have you boys got any plans for today?
LANCE: It's school holidays. We don't have to make plans.
KARL: So you're just going to sit around on the couch for the next 6 weeks watching television and reading trashy magazines, are you?
TOADIE: Well, what else is there to do? You know, I remember when Christmas hols used to mean something - now it's just 6 weeks of boredom!
KARL: So tragic(!)
Karl says they can help him to move furniture over to Harold and Madge's for the Christmas party. Toadie wheedles out of it by saying that he needs to chuck on a hat and some sunscreen, so he'll be about 20 minutes. Karl tells him to forget it - he'll be finished by then! Karl leaves. Toadie and Lance laugh.
TOADIE: Got out of that one. I'd rather be bored than moving furniture!
LANCE: Yeah, well, I'd rather be hanging out on some tropical island. Waves. Babes.
They talk about Bali and other resorts.
TOADIE: Dream on, eh? If we emptied our pockets, we'd probably make it as far as the corner.
There's a knock at the door.
LANCE: It's your house!
Toadie gets up and answers the door to the postman - it's a box for him. Toadie is pleased, as it's an early Christmas present for him from Angie.
Karl arrives with some furniture. Madge and Harold say he should've waited for some help, and Karl admits that he thought he was going to have two able-bodied young men to help him out!
KARL: But y'know, when you use the word 'Toadie' and 'able-bodied' in the same breath you are stretching things a bit(!)
Madge wonders if Karl has enough room in the freezer for the turkey. Karl raves that it'll be going in the fridge - he doesn't want an animal that's been dead for 6 months...he wants fresh! Karl asks how Harold's feeling about his tuba audition. Harold says he wishes he had some more time to prepare as he's not feeling confident.
KARL: You should be. We've heard you practicing. You sound very...uh, very...well, prepared!
Madge tries not to laugh! Harold leaves with Karl to help him to carry some chairs. Karl raves about picking up his homegrown turkey.
Hannah is not impressed that their family kitchen wasn't deemed good enough to run Debbie's business from. Philip explains that there's lots of rules about having livestock in kitchens. Hannah is indignant - Holly isn't livestock, she's a dog...and a very clean dog! Philip isn't impressed and says that now Debbie might miss out on her catering job. Hannah is saddened for Debbie - who was so pleased to have won the contract in the first place.
PHILIP: Which means that she'll probably need a little bit of extra understanding from all of us.
HANNAH: Oh no. You mean, like, she's going to be cranky and impossible to live with?
Philip tells her that she should stick around to cheer Debbie up so she doesn't get too depressed over what's happened. Just then, Debbie arrives home but she's bursting with news - Catherine has agreed to let her use the Coffee Shop kitchen to fulfil the contract.
Philip is stoked that she's secured the kitchen. Debbie's worried that she's now only got 6 hours to make up a banquet for 20 people. Philip offers to help out, but Debbie declines. Hannah senses trouble and makes a sharp exit! Philip wants to help and offers to move Debbie's supplies from Number 26 to the Coffee Shop.
DEBBIE: Ok. That's all I want you to do though. I want to prove, one and for all, that I'm a capable and competent businesswoman.
Toadie and Lance are staring at the wrapped present.
LANCE: What do you think it is?
TOADIE: How am I supposed to know? I don't have x-ray vision!
Lance says that mums are usually predictable when it comes to presents. Toadie says Angie isn't predictable! Lance tells him to open it, but Toadie points out the note on it which says it mustn't be opened until Christmas Day.
There's a knock at the door and it's Hannah, who's as bored as the boys are. Toadie shows her the present and says it's annoying that he can't open it.
TOADIE: It's driving me mental.
HANNAH: More mental, you mean.
Toadie whinges that it might be something he doesn't like, or doesn't fit. Hananh points out that the box doesn't look like it holds clothes. Toadie says if he doesn't like it, he won't be able to change it - and then he'll have to lie to Angie and say that he likes it. Toadie says that Angie always knows when he's lying. Hannah says that he might like it, but Toadie is dubious!
Toadie has a brainwave, and points out that it says *he* can't open it but other people might be able to. Lance says that it's implied that other people can't open it! Toadie shrugs this off, saying that Angie always says exactly what she means. Toadie shoves the present towards Lance and orders him to open it.
At first, Lance refuses but Toadie insists. Eventually, Lance agrees but says that if anyone tells Angie he opened it, he'll deny everything! He opens the box and it's a polaroid camera. Hannah and Lance think it's a great present.
TOADIE: Are you kidding?! Mum's gone senile! What's she sent me that for?!
LANCE: Maybe so you could take photos?
Toadie hits Lance!
Number 24 - Outside
Karl, Harold and Lou are bringing furniture up the drive. Madge comes out with drinks for them all. Harold is still fretting about his audition. Lou ribs Harold about leaving because he's turned up. Harold scoffs and tells him that he's merely going to his tuba audition. Harold brags to Lou that it's a formality, and his place in the band is a foregone conclusion!
KARL: Have you two sorted out who's going to play Santa on the big day?
Madge says they're still arguing the toss. Harold says that as playing Santa means so much to Lou, he's graciously decided to step down. Madge is pleased that one of them is finally showing some sense! Lou realises he's been out-manouvered, so he also relinquishes his claim to Santa and tells Harold to do it.
HAROLD: No, no. I insist. You shall play Santa.
LOU: I don't want it. I changed my mind.
HAROLD: I changed mine first!
LOU: Says who?
The pair square off. Karl leaves them to it! Madge comes past and tells them how immature they are. Harold rushes off after her, and Lou laughs to himself.
Toadie is instructing Lance and Hannah on which poses to make - starting with Planet of the Apes. They pose and he takes a photo, just as Karl arrives home. Karl wonders if they've put on sunscreen yet - he's got jobs for them around the yard.
TOADIE: Actually, I've got a bit of an allergy, yeah.
KARL: Would't be a work allergy, by any chance, would it?!
Toadie points out the camera and says that as Angie has sent it to him, he's no longer bored. Karl rolls his eyes and wonders where his wallet is. Toadie directs him straight to it, and Karl eyes him suspiciously! Karl leaves.
Toadie wonders if there's anything more interesting they can do with the camera. Lance suggests some candid shots around the neighbourhood. Toadie reckons that as it's so hot, the girls will be around the pool next door, so they could get some great candid shots of them in their swimwear.
LANCE: If we're really lucky, they might be looking for an all over tan!
Hannah pulls them back, and reckons she's got a better idea - one to make some money.
Coffee Shop - Kitchen
Philip helps Debbie to carry boxes into the kitchen. He tells her to give him a call if she can think of anything else that she wants him to do. Debbie says she doesn't know where to start, and Philip is stunned when she says she's doing 3 different mains and 3 different desserts for 20 people.
Philip offers to work as her kitchen hand, but Debbie won't hear of it. She pushes him out of the kitchen and says that if she fails, she'll only have herself to blame. He wishes her luck.
DEBBIE: Thank you!
DEBBIE: (glumly, to herself) I'm going to need it.
Lou is cleaning tables outside his pub. Karl spies him.
KARL: Hey Lou!
LOU: That's me!
Karl wonders if Harold and Lou have sorted out their differences. They haven't, and Lou is unimpressed at how Harold was trying to big-note himself by backing down first. Karl says he's trying to hunt down a turkey.
KARL: Are we still expecting about 20 people?
LOU: Give or take 19, yeah.
Hannah, Toadie and Lance are walking through the complex. Toadie says that he hates to say it, but Hannah's beaten him to the punch on this occasion. They both reckon she's come up with a great idea. When they see Karl, they all hide from him.
TOADIE: We don't want anyone putting the kibosh on a brilliant plan like this, do we?
Debbie runs out of the Coffee Shop with an empty box and runs over the bridge.
Harold morosely strolls past Lou. Lou wonders how he is, and Harold confesses that he's been better. Lou invites him into the pub for a stiff drink, but Harold isn't impressed with Lou's humour. Harold tells him that he wasn't good enough to make the band.
LOU: Oh dear. Well, it is understandable, you know. They've got to look after their public!
Lou laughs. Harold isn't impressed and Lou apologises, admitting it was a blow below the belt. Lou tells him that he can still play carols himself. He tells him to get some people together and form his own band instead, and that way, Harold gets to be the boss! Harold is quite taken by the idea.
Philip is hanging some cards up in the window when Debbie rushes in. She's annoyed with herself - she spent so much time packing everything from the fridge, she left all of her dry ingredients in the cupboard. Philip can't believe she didn't ring him so he could've brought them over. He points out that she's making things a lot harder than they need to be.
Debbie snaps at him to shut up, and starts rifling through the cupboard. When she explains what she's looking for, he calmly points it out. Debbie is in a huge stress and manages to spill sugar all over the floor, and he grabs her to get her to stop and calm down. He tries to get her to listen, but Debbie tells him that she doesn't have time to listen.
PHILIP: (calmly) Yes, I do understand. A lot more than you might think. I ran my own business for a long time, you know.
DEBBIE: (unimpressed) A newsagency is a bit different to a catering business!
PHILIP: Some things are the same whatever line of business you are in. Like the art of delegating. A good operator knows when to call for assistance. It's getting the job done without getting yourself into a tailspin.
This finally sinks in. Debbie admits that she's in a crisis.
DEBBIE: I need help!
PHILIP: Two hands right here. You're the boss. Just tell me what you want done - it's your call.
Debbie smiles with relief.
Madge wonders if Harold screwed up because he was nervous. Harold says that he was fine - the competition was just too good. Harold tells Madge of his plan to start his own band - the Ramsay Street Christmas Band!
Madge wonders if there's enough talent in Ramsay Street to make a whole band up. Harold says there are lots of musicians behind closed doors. Madge suddenly realises that Harold intends for them to rehearse at Number 24 and isn't so keen! Madge tells him that whilst he's out getting band members, he can find her a new Santa too! Madge points out that Lou and Harold are both being very silly over this 'who's the bigger man' issue.
HAROLD: I couldn't possibly do it now - not now I've got a band to organise!
He changes over the teabag in his mug, and Madge looks like she wants to throttle him!
Hannah is dressing an area with tinsel and Santa figures. Lance comes out dressed as an elf!
LANCE: If this is your brilliant idea, why am I the one looking like an idiot?
Lance thinks he must be out of his mind! Toadie comes out dressed as Santa! Toadie can't believe they managed to talk Marlene into lending them Lou's suit! Lance carries on whining, and they tell him to shut up. They unveil a sign that says, "Photos with Santa only $3!" Toadie says that Lance will be laughing when the money rolls in. Lance is worried about people from school spotting him!
Toadie starts touting for trade!
Philip and Debbie rush over the bridge, and Philip spots the grotto. He frowns but follows Debbie.
Lance and Toadie continue to argue. Lance says that if the scheme makes profit, he'll eat the Santa hat. Toadie says that he's on!
Coffee Shop - Kitchen
Debbie issues Philip with a long list of what to do. As the list grows, Philip starts to get more concerned. He asks how long they've got, and Debbie says they have 4 hours.
PHILIP: I take longer than that to cook a family curry!
Philip is stressed, and Debbie points out that he was the one telling her not to panic - she tells him not to fall apart on her! He tries to recite her list back to her, but he can't remember what to do with the carrots. He reckons that they need more help, and decides to grab Hannah, who he saw lurking outside.
Hannah is trying to get people to have their photo taken with Santa. She tells Lance off for not smiling. Philip comes out and drags Hannah indoors. Hannah tells him that she's busy, but Philip reckons Debbie's career depends on it! Lance is pleased to see her taken away.
LANCE: I'm going home!
Just as he takes his hat off, a woman comes over wanting a photograph for her son. The boy sits on Toadie's lap and as they pose for the photo, Karl pops up!
KARL: Hey, Santa, can I have the next go? Ho ho ho!
Karl rushes past, but the expressions on Toadie's and the boy's face have dropped and they both look annoyed when the photo develops! Despite this, the woman thinks it's lovely and pays them money.
Lance says that he's leaving, but Toadie is insistent that he stays - they're just getting started!
TOADIE: Put your hat back on and be a good little elf!
Lance is not happy, but he puts his hat back on.
Coffee Shop - Kitchen
Debbie, Hannah and Philip are all working hard. Philip says that they can probably cope without Hannah now, and they let her go. Debbie is very grateful to her, and Hannah happily rushes off.
DEBBIE: And as for you..!
PHILIP: Oh, I haven't really done anything. But your organisational skills are really something else. You could go a long way with this, Deb.
DEBBIE: (smiling) Thanks.
They carry on working. Debbie says that all she has to do now is pray that they don't have an accident on their way to deliver the food.
PHILIP: Don't even think it!
A Christmas ride is going around the complex, and Hannah greets the kids on it and tells them about the opportunity to have their photo taken with Santa. She runs back over to Toadie and Lance - they're doing well with sales. Lance says that they're running out of film, and points out how expensive it is - if they buy more, they'll end up where they started...broke!
Toadie says that they can't quit now and Hannah tells them to chill - they'll think of something.
Lou and Madge sit outside the pub. Madge says that she wishes Lou and Harold would make an effort to get on for her sake. Lou tells Madge that he tried this morning when Harold failed his audition. Madge says that Harold didn't mention it - he was too wrapped up in his Ramsay Street band. Lou smiles to himself and says what a good idea the band is - he wishes he'd thought of it himself! Madge says that as Harold's going to be doing the band, Lou should be Santa.
LOU: And let him think he's won? Sorry, no can do.
MADGE: Oh, honestly! Have you any idea how childish this ridiculous feud is?!
LOU: I prefer to call it sport! A gentle sparring between two old adverseries, hahahahah!
Madge shakes her head in disbelief.
Debbie and Philip arrive home. Debbie says her feet are killing her. Philip reckons he'd run her a hot bath, but he's exhausted himself! They talk about how cooking isn't an easy career, and Debbie says that hopefully she won't have to call on him for his help again. Philip tells her that if she needs to, she can do.
DEBBIE: (teasing) Of course. A good manager knows how to delegate, didn't you know that?
Debbie spots a note from Helen on the side - she's got another contract. She reads that it's for 30 on Christmas Day. Philip looks astounded, and is a bit sad that she'll miss their present opening. Debbie says that she can't pass up a contract for their family Christmas. Philip agrees and suggests that they hang on and wait until she's home before they open their presents.
DEBBIE: Like Hannah could wait that long!
Philip laughs and Debbie says it's fine, so long as no-one opens her presents. They go off to eat together.
Lance takes another photo, and then announces that the film has run out. If they buy a new one out of their proceeds, they've only made $3 profit! Toadie says that they should talk someone into giving them a loan.
They look over and see Karl walking over the bridge with a wrapped up turkey in his arms.
Toadie and Lance send Hannah over to him. Hannah doesn't want to, but the boys point out that if they ask Karl, it'll be a flat out no! Lance says that if she doesn't ask, they've wasted their day. Reluctantly, Hannah approaches Karl.
KARL: Ah well, where are all the kiddywinks? Has the loathsome Toadie Claus frightened them off?
Karl laughs to himself. Hannah explains that they've run out of film and can't afford to buy more. Karl guesses that their pricing was too low. Hannah tugs at the heartstrings, talking about the kids who are going to miss out on the opportunity to have a photo with Santa.
KARL: You wouldn't be springing me for a loan, would you?
Hannah insists that they'd pay him back - with interest.
HANNAH: Please, it is Christmas, after all!
Karl agrees, and sets his covered turkey down on the side as he gets out his wallet. He jokes about how the bank is very low at Christmas time...and suddenly, a guy runs in and steals the turkey. Karl yells at him to stop and then turns to the kids.
KARL: Don't just dawdle; get after him! He's got our Christmas turkey!
Toadie and Hannah run over the bridge, giving chase. Karl is furious and screams after them!
KARL: COME ON, GET IT GOING! You'd better catch him or feathers will fly! AND IT WON'T BE THE TURKEY'S!!