- Marlene asks Karl to give some talks at the Youth centre. He agrees.
- Mal tells Stonie that he and Danni have decided he can move in with them.
- Janine's commanding officer rings looking for her. Cheryl lies and says she isn't there. Then she turns to Janine wanting answers
Stonie is making himself indispensible by cooking Mal a delicious breakfast. Apparently he was taught to cook by his mum (he is wearing a pink apron!)
Cody comes in and suggest she and Stonie do something, but he wants to clean the house to make himself even more indispensible(!)
No.22 (back porch)
Janine confesses to Cheryl that she hasn't resigned - she's gone AWOL. She says she couldn't handle it anymore. She found out that Ross has been having an affair - for years - and everyone knew. She hugs Cheryl and Cheryl sympathises. But Janine must do something about the Navy - th elonger she leaves it, the worse it will be.
Helen tackles Phil about Jen's skull sculpture.
HELEN: Philip. I'd like to talk to you about our friend here.
HELEN: Mmm. This rather gaunt- looking chap.
HELEN: We've discussed it before and we both agreed that a dead animal skull is not ideal interior decoration(!)
Helen says she just can't get used to the sculpture and wants Phil to tell Jen to get rid of it. Phil doesn't look keen(!)
Mal is waiting to have a driving lesson in the car with Susan, but Karl needs the car to go and give his lecture. Plan B is that Susan will teach Mal indoors(!)
Marlene comes across and gives Karl the keys to the Youth Centre - she wants to spend time with Janine. She warns Karl to go easy on the kids after Mark's lectures of hellfire and damnation(!)
KARL: Don't worry. I'll keep the fire and brimstone to a minimum!
There are not many customers today. Lou tells Danni that they need good word- of- mouth to get the punters in - the champagne and caviar lot are just not interested in Chez Chez, they need to go for the grassroots market. Cheryl will just have to get over it.
Cheryl has explained to Marlene that Janine is AWOL. Janine has apparently rung the DO, who was actually pretty understanding. She'll have to have some counselling, but has given her until the end of week to get back to base.
MARLENE: Gee, is that all?! I thought going AWOL was serious, serious.
CHERYL: Things have changed since Trafalgar, Mum(!)
Janine might be demoted and have her leave privileges cancelled, but she'll just have to wait and see. Marlene tells them she's had an idea.
Karl opens the door to see dozens of garden gnomes, with a voice coming over a speaker:
VOICE: Doctor Kennedy, glad you could join us! Just make yourself at home!
He bends down and picks up a gnome. Just then, Susan steps out of the shadows and takes a photo of him with the gnome. She runs off, telling Karl he's been duped!
Susan is giving Malcolm a driving lesson - in the living room(!) She's got the dining chairs set up and gives Malcolm a saucepan lid for a steering wheel. Mal is not impressed, but reluctantly plays along.
Susan shows him three food cans by his feet which represent the accelerator, brake and clutch! She goes off to get a gear stick (a toilet brush!)
Marlene has suggested that she and Cheryl drive Janine back to the base, and call in to see Patrick (Cheryl's brother) and Darren on the way. Apparently Darren's prison farm is close to Janine's base. As long as Lou doesn't mind minding the pub.
CHERYL: As long as Lou promises not to make any changes to my pub while I'm gone.
LOU: I'm sorry, Cheryl, but changes need to be made. The lunchtime crowd was practically non- existent!
CHERYL: No thanks to you, I'm sure!
LOU: No, what's that supposed to mean?
CHERYL: It means that you probably didn't put your heart into selling my glitz lunches.
LOU: Cheryl, my heart was working overtime! I wish you'd admit you were wrong and let me make some profit!
Marlene intervenes and tells them to stop bickering. Just then, Karl comes up. Marlene asks him how the lecture was(!) Karl admits that the gnomes had the last laugh. Karl wants to know what she's going to do with the photo.
MARLENE: Just one for the album.
Mal and Susan are really into the lesson - Mal is even doing car noises. Danni comes in to tell Mal that lunch is ready and he is embarrassed.
Phil is rehearsing what he's going to say to Jen about the skull(!) Just then, Jen comes in and they sit down on the sofa. Phil is about to broach the subject of the skull, but suddenly Jen starts a speech on how good Phil is to her, and how happy she is. She still has a lot to deal with about her sister's death though. Phil doesn't have the heart to tell her about the skull(!)
Karl is playing his guitar when Mal comes in to invite Karl and Susan to dinner next Saturday night. Mal also tells Karl about the pretend car and how embarrassing it was.
MALCOLM: What sort of driver am I going to be if I can only learn to steer with a saucepan lid and give way to a coffee table?!
He begs Karl to take over the lessons, but Karl reminds him that Susan was his first choice of instructor(!)
Just then, Susan comes in and offers Mal another driving lesson. She tells Mal that she's very touched that he asked her to be his driving instructor and how it's great to have quality time together(!)
The pub is empty, so when Phil and Jen come in, Lou insists that they have a meal(!) They look at the menu and can't understand most of it, as the dishes are in foreign languages. Lou tells them that it's another of Cheryl's bright ideas. Phil points out that in a pub people only want steak and a seafood basket!
LOU: Try telling her that, mate!
Stonie is cleaning the oven(!) Cody thinks Mal and Danni are taking advantage of Stonie, but he doesn't care.
Mal comes in and declares he's off to the pub, so Cody and Stonie can have some privacy. Mal tells Stonie that he wants to have a dinner party for his parents and wants him to cook - even though Stonie will not be invited! Stonie agrees(!)
When Mal has gone, Cody tells Stonie that if he doesn't stand up for himself, she will.
Phil advises Lou to turn Chez Chez back into a normal pub. Get back to being a good local - warm and friendly, and advertise like crazy. Lou thinks this is a great idea, and after all, he does have a background in sales.
PHIL:(to Jen) You've heard of people who sell ice to Eskimos? Well, here's the guy that showed them how to do it!
Stonie has now finished cleaning the oven and is now washing up. Cody is off to study, and advises Stonie to do the same thing. When Cody has gone, he opens his school- bag, but immediately there's a knock at the back door - it's his brother, Shane!
SHANE: I thought she'd never leave.
STONIE: What are you doing here?!
SHANE: It's a long story.
STONIE: I thought you were...you know...
SHANE: Look, I broke out, last night.
STONIE: You're on the run?!
SHANE: I need somewhere to lie low for a few days.
STONIE: What, here?!
SHANE: You're my brother, mate. I've got no- one else to turn to.
STONIE: What about Mum and Dad?
SHANE: You're kidding, that's the first place the pigs will look.
STONIE: Oh, man. The others are going to kill me when they come home and find you.
SHANE: Come on, bro, you've got to help me, because I am *stuffed* if you don't!