Cheryl tells the shopping centre back to Rosemary.
Billy finds a ball on the golf course and gets an idea.
Susan tells Karl he'd better to confess about the gnomes or else.
Brett is practising his golf swing when Libby comes over. She's unsettled because they've printed her article - it was only supposed to be for practice, to show them what she could do! Brett says they must have really liked it, but Libby explains that the article is about Annalise's Dad, only the names have been changed. The headline reads "Daddy was a REAL DRAG".
The car is ringing the racing hotline again(!) when Marlene comes in and catches him.
MARLENE:(laughing) Oh, Colonel Parker!
Cheryl is sitting at a table looking rather depressed. Lou tries to cheer her up, but she says she's upset about Karl's experiment - Danni is too young to be living with a boy. She also feels like she's losing control of her destiny. Lou tells her firmly that Rosemary's offer was better than no offer at all, and besides, he's got plans. Cheryl says she's sick of planning.
Sam comes in and the cat runs off before he spots him. Marlene tells Sam that it was the cat ringing the hotline. Sam despairs.
Brett and Libby have come to confess to Annalise, but Libby isn't sure that Annalise has read the article yet. She knocks on the door with trepidation. Annalise answers it and doesn't seem mad, so Brett and Libby realise she hasn't read the article yet. They decide to make a quick getaway!
Karl is trying to reassure Sam about Marlene's sanity, saying cats can be taught to do tricks, but he won't be appeased.
SAM: There's a whole lot of other stuff too.
KARL: Such as?
SAM: She is convinced that our garden gnome has been going off on late-night expeditions.
KARL: Oh dead. Garden Gnome Syndrome.
SAM: What? Is it serious?
Karl sits Sam down and confesses it was him that moved the gnome.
KARL:(laughing) It was just a harmless practical joke! You know the sort of thing. A gnome disappears and a postcard arrives from some exotic locale.
SAM: (stunned) But why?
KARL: Let's just say I buckled under the weight of being staid and responsible all the time.
SAM: So, you did it just to amuse yourself.
KARL: Er...yeah...I suppose I did.
SAM: We have been having sleepless nights over this! Nan thought she was getting Alzheimer's! *I* thought she was getting Alzheimer's!
Karl apologises. Sam says he'd better come down to the shop and confess to Marlene in person, but Karl says he can't come until this afternoon. But anyway, he has an idea that will give Marlene a laugh.
SAM: It might be a good idea if you stuck to being staid and responsible in the future.
Brett is pruning trees while Libby sits in his wheelbarrow, fretting about the article. Brett says it was a great article and was a good one for publication. Libby isn't sure - she didn't want to hurt anyone, but will look on it as a learning experience.
In the background, Billy is lurking around dressed in a balaclava, stealing golf balls from where they land(!) Brett and Libby chase after him.
Karl is moaning that noone has a sense of humour anymore, but Susan isn't amused.
At the bar, Annalise asks Lou if she can put up some posters for Sam's business - she's decided to improve his image. Lou and Cheryl look at the poster and say it's a bit different.
Billy is counting his stash of golf balls but quickly hides them when Brett and Libby come in. They can't understand who would steal a golf ball. Billy is secretly relived that they didn't recognise him. Brett vows to catch the golf-ball stealer.
Sam comes in to see Marlene. She's not too chuffed to see him, but they end up having a hug. Sam apologises for not believing her about the gnome.
SAM: I'm really sorry I doubted you, Nan, if you say he's been moved then I believe you.
Marlene reckons they have a joker in their midst. After all, a garden gnome can't come to life.
Sam turns the conversation to the cat. Marlene turns on the radio to the racing results and sure enough, the cat appears!
SAM:(relieved) Colonel Parker! I don't believe it!
Marlene explains that the cat loves the racing and now she has someone to share her hobby!
Karl walks along the street with a box. He looks around furtively and then to the accompaniment of gnome-y music, steals into Marlene's garden.
Miller Street youth Centre
Sam tells Annalise that he's met Colonel Parker and found out who stole the gnome - she'll find out who it was later. Annalise shows him her new advertising campaign for his business. He looks at it with horror - it's a picture of him topless! Annalise says she's given a load out to wealthy women in Eden Hills!
Susan has bought Billy a new shirt.
BILLY: This is just not cool. I look like an escapee from an old folks' home in this!
Billy suggests that he starts buying some of his own clothes and Susan agrees.
SUSAN: There are some mothers who would say if you're old enough to buy your own clothes, you're ready to pay for your own clothes. ...Lucky for you I'm not one of those mothers!
She suspects that Billy has seen something he really wants and he confesses he's seen a really nice leather bomber jacket. It's $250 but he'll pay half out of his paper-round money. Susan says she'll think about it.
Front garden of No.24
Marlene arrives home to find a second garden gnome has appeared - a female one!
There's a note hanging from the hat:
Your Albie is no stay-at-home
He wanders far and wide
And that is how he came to find
His ever-loving bride.
Sam still isn't happy about Annalise's new advertising campaign, but his moaning is interrupted when Marlene comes in and announces that Albie has found a mate. She shows Sam the note. He takes it in his stride.
MARLENE: You know something about this, don't you?
Marlene starts suspecting that Sam did it, but as she is talking, Annalise is reading Libby's article. She isn't impressed.
Karl tells Susan that he's sorted things out with Marlene by buying a female garden gnome. But Susan is crying as she prepares dinner.
SUSAN: I've been thinking about Mal and Danni. About them being so young, living together.
KARL: That's it? It won't last, we both know it won't.
SUSAN: It might. It's not unheard of for couples at their age who fall in love to stay together for the rest of their lives, is it?
KARL: Like we did, you mean.
SUSAN: Yeah, like we did.
KARL: Susan, we had something special. We were meant to be together.
SUSAN: They think *they* are! Everyone thinks that when they're young and in love. Everything has to happen now. A lot of people said that we were too young...
KARL: Yeah, but they were wrong! Look, what if we're wrong about Mal and Danni, what if they do stay together? Is that such a bad thing?
SUSAN: I just can't help thinking of everything they will have missed out on. Everything I missed out on. That whole slice of my youth just taken up with having babies and washing nappies!
KARL: This isn't about the kids, is it? It's about you. These are your regrets.
KARL: Susan, I...I don't understand this.
SUSAN: Well, you wouldn't, would you? I mean, you've lived your life, you've fulfilled your ambitions. I'll probably never know what I might have been capable of. All that potential, just wasted.
She sobs into her hands while Karl stands there, stunned.