Cheryl telling Mark if they can survive planning a wedding they can survive anything
Danni confronting Lou
Hannah wanting to do gymnastics
Annalise being given the bowl… and then bursting into tears
Mark's amused at the whole bowl antic and reckons that it upset Annalise. She says she wasn't upset, she's just emotional. Ric and Ren come in with a couple of broken wine glasses and make up some story about them being the ones that Marie Antoinette drank from before she died. Ric says it's payback for Annalise and he'll get Ren some other time. Mark says that's not very Christian of him and Annalise rolls her eyes.
ANNALISE: You're getting baptised tomorrow, not ordained.
She tells him that as things stand they have three bridesmaids and one groomsman which will look silly so he needs to sort it out. So Mark suggests cutting back to one bridesmaid.
LOU & CHERYL'S
Danni wonders why Cheryl's in such a good mood. Cheryl says maybe it's the run up to Christmas, maybe it's the upcoming wedding. Maybe it's Louise… Whatever it is it's making her step back and look at things, and then goes on to talk about the idea of exchanging vows with someone. Danni asks if she means Lou, and suggests that Lou's probably not worthy of it. Cheryl says she's lived with Lou for over a year and had a child with him, she knows him. Danni says Cheryl knows Lou better than her, but just because they talk about everything… sometimes it's what they don't talk about that's the problem.
Cody asks Hannah whether she should take a one or a two piece swim suit with her to the beach house. Hannah suggests she take both… I'm just weirded out that Cody asked Hannah in the first place! Hannah says she'll miss Cody, but it's only for a few days. Cody's not sure where she'll be for Christmas and Hannah hopes that she'll be there. It'll be weird having a Christmas without Debbie or her mum. Cody says she's in the same boat – her parents aren't around either – so they should stick together this year.
Mark is inviting Phil and Vik to his buck's night, which is sounding like more like a vicar's tea party than a traditional buck's. But Mark says it's a chance for everyone to meet Father Michael, so maybe a Father's tea party instead.
Colin comes out with a newspaper hat on (the ones you always used to make when you were a kid, folding it into a triangle shape), singing some ditty about having notepads and sticky tape and pens. How Bruce and Ian didn't crack up is beyond me, probably 'cause they kept eye contact with the other and didn't watch Colin's whacked out dance.
When Colin's finished, the play button is pressed for Mark and Phil, and the conversation continues, Mark saying he'll see them at seven. Colin hears the magic word 'party' and says he'll bring the cheeseball and some crackers, Mark making a quick exit as Colin rattles on about it being a newsagency trio thing. Complete with sing-along. Phil and Vik make very quick exits.
Danni's amused by the plate story, congratulating her nan on coming up with the story. Marlene feels bad about it so she gave the girly bridesmaids their money back and the option of a free replacement gift. Danni quips that maybe her next line of jewellery should be Egyptian themed and Marlene can say it was found in the tomb of some princess.
Marlene tells Danni that when she's done taking the mick she can open the cans of fruit for the punch. Danni wonders if fruit punch will be the highlight of the evening, but Marlene says there will be a few surprises that a young girl like her granddaughter shouldn't be exposed to. Danni says if there's any exposing to be done, she's there. She might even catch the g-string… and this is a family show??
Annalise is talking about photos and boring Cody and Ren to death with it. Photos of her getting ready, photos of her with her attendants… then photos of her arriving at the church, photos of her getting a her ring, photos of her signing the register…
REN: Can I ask a question? Is Mark going to be in any of these photos?
Cody asks if Mark wants any photos taking at his baptism the next day but Annalise wonders what you'd take them of. I have a cool one from my cousin's where she's leaning over the font, propping herself up on her hands, staring at the water. Stuff like that's nice.
Ric comes in and Annalise tells him that his mum called, wants him to call her back. Oh, and she also told Annalise what his confirmation name was and Ric's mortified by this. Cody wants to know and he first begs and then threatens Annalise to keep quiet. He then plays the guilt card and she seems to go along with it, but if his mum thinks Aloysius is a nice name…
Mark is talking to Father Michael about the vows, he wants to stick with the traditional ones of love, honour and obey. Fr. Michael rightly points out that he might want to check with his bride about the "obey" bit! He says that most couples replace it with "respect".
Hannah runs out with her gymnastic ribbon and Mark introduces her to Fr. Michael.
MARK: He's going to be marrying Annalise and I.
She's not three, Mark.
HANNAH: I thought you were marrying each other.
FR. MICHAEL: He means I'll be performing the ceremony.
And people wonder why priests have a reputation of being boring. Nuns are more fun – got drunk with one once.
Hannah turns up as she's staying the night, and Susan comments about the ribbon. Hannah talks about starting the rhythmic gymnastics and says that if she practices really hard then she might be able to represent Australia in the 2000 Olympics.
KARL: You'll be too old, wouldn't you?
He says that the girl who won in the Commonwealth was only 14. Nice one, Karl. Susan suggests Hannah put on a show for them and after some prompting from Susan Karl and Billy show their support. Hannah says she's new at it so they can't laugh at her. Then begins the show which basically consists of Hannah walking about, waving the ribbon as one would a sparkler. Susan bursts into applause, hitting Billy so he can do the same. Karl goes back to his paper.
Annalise is talking about vows and wants to swap the traditional ones for poems. Mark's not happy but Fr. Michael says personalised ceremonies are becoming very popular. He suggests having both which Annalise is happy with, but Mark's not a writer – so Annalise will help him. And she's already written hers so Fr. Michael asks her to read it, maybe Mark will be inspired.
ANNALISE: "The plural of half is whole, by A A Hartman".
Before I met my other half
I never felt entire
I was a lost and mudderless calf
Strayed too close to the wire
And suddenly I met my knight in white
Mark Gottleib is his name
At first a meaty and perfect sight
He set my passions aflame
Now my love burns like a red hot coal
And a roaring blaze in my heart
This, our marriage, makes us whole
And we'll never be apart
Cut to later and the Father's Tea Party is underway, Mark is checking that everyone's alright for tea and coffee while Colin hands around his cheeseball.
FR MICHAEL: Mark, you did say there was beer on the way?
Bwah. Colin goes on to say that alcohol is pretty intrinsic to a lot of religious ceremonies, and if Jesus had turned the water into black coffee then it would be a very dry affair indeed. Vik gets up and I resist the urge to tell him to run, to save himself! Colin goes on to say that it all depends if you believe the story, and there's a theory that Jesus was actually a master magician who hypnotised people into thinking they were drinking wine. Fr Michael gets up, probably to prevent him from breaking one of the Ten Commandments.
The girls' hen night is a much more traditional affair – people are actually having a good time. Cheryl arrives and asks Annalise how she's feeling now that it's getting closer. She tells Annalise it'll only happen once if she's lucky. Unless you're Liz Taylor. Or Susan Smith-Kennedy-Smith-Kinski-Kennedy who's clocked up four, or Paul Robinson who's had lots according to the members on nf.com...
Random extras ply Cheryl with food and drink as the girls laugh about families and guys and the bowl but Cheryl seems to be feeling a bit out of place.
Colin's still going – religion has been the cause of more wars and unrest than anything else. Mark argues that since the advent of Christianity the world has become a much more civilised place. Colin brings up Northern Ireland and I scream that started off political and has become entwined with religious grievances, but it all began when the English invaded / went over to help the Irish (delete as applicable)…
They try and get Colin to shut up, changing the subject to the newsagency but Colin goes off about the award that they missed out on. Ric finally arrives with the beer.
RIC: OK, who's up for a coldie?
FR MICHAEL: May the good Lord bless you.
Heh. Ric dishes out the beers which the guys tear into very happily.
The girls are now involved in a drunken sing-a-long but "She's a Jolly Good Lassie" is too staid. Marlene changes the music to something a bit more 1994 bow-chicka-bow-wow and enter the stripper, stage right. He does the quickest routine ever, getting down to his boxers in a matter of seconds.
Colin's got some puppets out and I'm bored. Phil says he's got an early start, so's Vik. And Fr. Michael has a sermon to prepare. As everyone leaves Ric comments on how bad the party was.
Outside the guys are walking down the path, Colin says he hopes he didn't offend anyone with his comments on religion. I think the induced comas might have prevented any real offence being taken. He's not really an atheist, he just loves playing Devil's Advocate sometimes.
FR MICHAEL: He always like this?
PHIL: 'fraid so.
Ric comes out and tells Mark that he needs to talk to Phil about something. He races off and asks all but Colin if they fancy a drink at the pub. Mark waves them off, but throws a glance over at the girls' party.
Hannah's asleep on the couch as Susan comes over and gently wakes her up, offering her some breakfast. Cute little scene with Hannah still being sleepy and Susan in mum mode, gently stroking her hair.
Mark comes in with breakfast on a tray, and he surveys they damage done by the party. Annalise is half asleep on the couch and he brings her breakfast over to him and is not impressed to find the still-half naked stripper still there, and less so when he gets up and takes the breakfast off him!