Phil is still reeling from the news that he's not back together with Julie after spending the night with her.
PHIL: I don't believe this. You're incredible.
JULIE: Philip, nothing has changed. We're still the same people we were yesterday.
PHIL: (angrily) So last night meant nothing?!
JULIE: Must you put it that way?
DEBBIE: Great, so you sleep with him and now you're going to turn around and kick him out?!
Hannah is upset at the idea that Phil won't be returning home after all, and clings to his shirt. Julie tells Phil that he should leave, and he does, carrying a very upset Hannah with him. Debbie gets up to follow them.
DEBBIE: There's a name for women like you!
Julie grabs her arm and pulls her back.
JULIE: Yes? And what is it?
Debbie storms out. Julie's expression changes from anger to dismay.
Lou finishes up an electrical job for Cheryl. He tells her not to mess about with electrics in the future - she should call a professional.
CHERYL: I know, I am a bad girl. I should've called an electrician. And a plumber to replace the washers. And a carpenter to...
CHERYL: ...fix the sticky door. But then I did that, didn't I?(!)
Lou half smiles and nods.
CHERYL: It's just that I've got this really nice, handy neighbour who also happens to be a bit of a hunk... Are we going to have that cup of tea?
LOU: No thanks, I've got to get home!
Cheryl tries to twist his arm, but Lou's having none of it - he reiterates that he's not interested in her and that he only came over to fix the electric because she said she was desperate.
CHERYL: I am, Cuddles!
LOU: Don't call me that, please!
CHERYL: Why not? It suits you. You're like this big cuddly teddy bear.
Lou doesn't look too impressed! The door goes and Cheryl orders him not to move. Lou can't believe the situation he's in. Cheryl opens the door and it's Pam, intent on welcoming Cheryl to Ramsay Street. Cheryl tells Pam that Lou has been fixing things for her and invites Pam to join 'their' cup of tea! Lou makes his exit and tells Cheryl to call a professional for her handyman jobs in the future - or better still, get Doug's number off Pam!
Lauren is eating breakfast. Rick walks in and pours out a bowl of cereal. Lauren has a job keeping a straight face as he heaps sugar into his bowl. He takes a mouthful and then splutters - it was salt. Rick tells her she's dead meat and grabs a dishcloth and wets it. Lauren squeals that Lou will freak if he gets water everywhere. He chases her into the living room and rubs it over her face, getting water all over. Lou enters and they stop dead in their tracks.
LOU: What the hell's going on?!
LOU: Look, I'm fed up with you two fooling around all of the time. I've wasted most of my morning with Barnacle Woman over there! I don't want to come in to this!
He tells them to clear the place up.
Debbie and Julie are in the kitchen. Debbie is upset and questions Julie about sleeping with Phil and kicking him out. She asks if Julie still loves him. Julie tells her it isn't that simple. Debbie wants an explanation.
JULIE: Debbie, your father and I got together to talk about divorce. We made our decision, so the emotional pressure was off. We were being kind to each other. Having a drink...
DEBBIE: So you were drunk!
JULIE: No. We were... I don't know... Recognising what we were going to lose. You wouldn't understand.
DEBBIE: But Mum, if you still love each other-
JULIE: Debbie, it was just nostalgia! It didn't solve any of our real problems. Look, I know Philip's hurt but the quicker the break, the faster it will heal.
DEBBIE: No, it won't! You just made everything worse!
Debbie walks out. Julie sits down and sobs.
Rick and Lauren are washing up and bickering over who owes who a prank. Rick warns Lauren that she won't know where, and she won't know when, but when she least expects it... He flicks her with the tea towel. Lauren warns him that he might wake up one day with his eyebrows shaved off and his nostrils glued up! They embark on a tea towel flicking fight, when Lou comes out of the shower. He tells them to stop acting like children. Cheryl knocks at the door.
CHERYL: Yoohoo! Louis!
LOU: Oh no.
Rick goes to answer the door. Lou tells him to say he's not in and he hides in the kitchen.
RICK: G'day, Mrs Stark.
CHERYL: Hello. Where's that big spunky hunk?
RICK: ... Oh, Lou!
CHERYL: Yes. He nicked off before I could thank him properly.
Julie is having a cuppa with Pam. She tells Pam that she and Phil talked about old times - good times - and then slept together! Pam is surprised, but pleased. Julie tells her that she chucked Phil out - and Pam is even more surprised and less pleased!
JULIE: It was like, for old times' sake. I know that sounds terrible but nothing has changed. I mean, sex isn't the magic solution.
PAM: ...no. No, of course not.
JULIE: And everything that was wrong with our marriage before last night is still wrong. But he doesn't seem to realise that.
PAM: Did you explain that's how you feel? I mean, if he knew what really worried you, he might offer a solution.
Rick and Lauren have got rid of Cheryl. They realise that Lou's been telling the truth about Cheryl's persistence and tease him about her having the hots for him! It hits a raw nerve, and Lou goes back to berating them over their horsing around, warning that Rick might find himself on a bus to Sydney! Lou leaves. Rick and Lauren giggle.
RICK: What a grouch!
LAUREN: I think he needs a bit of lightening up.
RICK: Well, he's your dad - what's the problem?
Lauren suggests that he needs to be reminded of his sense of humour. They start to plot.
Lou is whistling happily to himself. He suddenly stops and mouths, "Oh no." He sits in a car, lies back and covers his face with some papers. Too late, Cheryl's on her way over! She tells him that she called over, but he'd already left. Lou tells her that if she wants any more work done on the house, she should call Phil - he's managing the property. Cheryl tells him the property is fine, and Lou excuses himself - he's very busy. Cheryl looks around the empty car lot.
CHERYL: Oh, if this is busy, Lou, I wouldn't like to see it when it's quiet!
Lou tells her it's paperwork he needs to do - and departs. Cheryl calls after him - she wants to buy a car! Lou doesn't understand as Cheryl's got a new car, but Cheryl reckons it's for her aunt and she wants to buy it to help her out.
CHERYL: Y'know Lou, I reckon money's like chuck poo - you've got to spread it around for it to do the most good!
Lou chooses a car and takes her over to it. Cheryl instantly decides to buy it - and Lou is baffled, she's barely set eyes on it! Cheryl reckons she doesn't need to see it as Lou wouldn't sell her a lemon! Cheryl suggests a test drive, followed by lunch. Lou looks a bit trapped!
Lassiter's Manager's Office
Julie tentatively pushes the door open and meekly asks if she can enter. Phil is very annoyed.
PHIL: What do you want?
JULIE: I thought we should talk.
PHIL: Nothing to talk about.
JULIE: Philip, about last nigh-
PHIL: I'm not interested. You made yourself perfectly clear this morning. I made the mistake of letting my guard down. I won't be doing it again.
Julie puts her hand on his arm.
JULIE: If you'd let me explain-
PHIL: You used me!
JULIE: No, I didn't!
PHIL: If you think you can come in here and sweet talk me out of going for custody of Hannah, you can think again.
Julie's attitude switches from gentle to annoyed.
PHIL: You heard me. I do not consider you to be a fit mother.
JULIE: How dare you!
PHIL: Don't try the high and mighty act with me - it won't wash.
JULIE: You don't have a chance of getting custody!
PHIL: We'll see, won't we?
He opens the door and throws her out.
JULIE: All right. If that's the way you want to play it, stay away from the house. All communication can be through my lawyer.
Phil slams the office door.
Doug invites Lou for lunch - but as soon as he mentions Cheryl's pub, Lou's instantly put off! Lou tells Doug how she bought a car and wanted to celebrate with him, but fortunately some customers appeared so he got out of it. Doug thinks that Lou should go for it, but Lou insists that she's not his type. Right on cue, Cheryl appears! Lou asks Doug to pretend to be there on business.
CHERYL: Lou, Auntie Harriet just *loved* the car.
LOU: That's great, now if you'll excuse us, Doug and I-
CHERYL: There's a slight problem.
LOU: Well, whatever it is, the warranty will take care of it. Now, Doug, would you step into the office, please?
CHERYL: Oh, it's not with the car! Auntie Joan was at Auntie Harriet's when I took it over and now Auntie Joan wants a car.
LOU: You want another car?!
CHERYL: Well, if we can discuss it in private. You don't mind, do you, Doug?
DOUG: Oh, not at all! I'll make myself scarce! See you, mate!
LOU: Doug, don't go!
DOUG: Good luck!
Doug looks highly amused and makes his exit. Lou looks really unimpressed as Cheryl links arms with him to look at cars!
Debbie is sitting alone, nursing a milkshake. Beth comes in, and wonders if she's having trouble with Rick, or her new boyfriend, Darren. Debbie admits that it's Phil and Julie.
DEBBIE: It's all Mum's fault. Dad tries so hard but she won't even give him a chance. I reckon they're going to get a divorce.
BETH: Is it that serious?
Beth looks surprised.
Julie walks into work.
LOU: Oh, good morning(!)
JULIE: Sorry I'm late.
LOU: Now you are supposed to be looking after the female clientèle. Where have you been?
JULIE: I had business to take care of.
LOU: Well, if you'd been here, I wouldn't have to deal with ... Barnacle Lady! Where were you? At the florist to buy more weeds to throw around my car yard?!
JULIE: If you must know, I was making enquiries about a divorce. Satisfied?
Julie walks off and Lou looks shocked. He mouths, "Oh boy!"
Rick and Lauren are still talking about Lou and getting back at him. Rick wonders if Lou will be annoyed, but Lauren says she's 90% sure he'll see the funny side. She tells Rick that she likes the element of danger the 10% gives! Rick agrees.
Lou has got his arm around Julie.
LOU: Come on, cheer up. I always be here for you, Jules. We're partners, after all. What concerns you, concerns me.
Julie seems cheered by his words. Lou spies Cheryl in the distance.
LOU: Oh no, I don't believe it!
He tells Julie to look after Cheryl and makes himself scarce. Julie introduces herself, and as she does so, a man drives up in a car. The man gets out and leans against his car, watching the antics at the car yard. Cheryl tells Julie that Lou's dealing with her, and Lou tells her he's busy.
CHERYL: Too busy for a sale?
LOU: You've already bought two cars today - you can't possibly want another one!
CHERYL: Aunt Doris.
LOU: Then she can catch the bus!
JULIE: Wait a minute, Lou. If Mrs Stark wants to buy a car...
LOU: Then you sell it to her!
CHERYL: I want you to look after me, Cuddles, else there's no sale.
LOU: Then there is no sale! I'm sorry Cheryl, but I have reached the end of my tether. I'm not interested in lunches, or dinners, or parties, or dancing or us doing anything together! You are barking up the wrong tree. Goodbye!
He goes into the office. Julie goes over to Cheryl, who's still chirpy.
CHERYL: He'll change his mind tomorrow!
JULIE: Well, what about Aunt Doris?
CHERYL: (laughing) She fell off her perch years ago!
Cheryl leaves. Julie rebukes Lou for letting a sale walk away. The man approaches Julie and Lou.
PHIL FRIENDLY: What's your game, Carpenter?!
LOU: Well, well, well. Phil Friendly. Now I'll have to get the place fumigated again!
PHIL FRIENDLY: What sort of a mug do you take me for?
LOU: Oh, just your average kind.
JULIE: What's he on about?
LOU: I have no idea. Have you been sniffing the car polish again, Phil?
Friendly accuses Lou of using his girlfriend to unload his unwanted stock. It turns out that Cheryl's been buying cars off Lou to get his attention and then selling them onto Friendly. Friendly is disbelieving when Lou denies it but Julie backs him up. Friendly thinks that Cheryl must be psychotic to have a romantic interest in Lou! Julie tells Lou that he needs to do something about the situation.
There's a knock at the door. Beth answers - and it's Phil. He comments on the state of her overalls, and Beth says she was about to jump in the shower. Phil awkwardly says that he'll leave but Beth invites him to sit down.
PHIL: I just thought you should kn... I *wanted* you to know... Julie and I. It's definitely over between us.
PHIL: And the way things are going, it looks like it could turn nasty fighting for custody of Hannah.
BETH: Oh, I'm sorry. For her sake.
PHIL: Yeah. What I wanted to say was, I'm free to go out with whoever I choose - the gossips be damned. I was hoping you might be interested in dinner.
Beth looks uncertain. Phil tells her that it's no pressure - just a friendly meal, but he gets up nervously and tells her that he just thought she ought to know how things stood. Beth says she needs some time to think about it.
PHIL: My social calendar's pretty free, so whenever you're in the mood!
Lou arrives at Cheryl's in a very bad mood - he tells her that Phil Friendly came and told him the truth about her "Aunties". Cheryl understands and suggests they get some tinnies and talk it over! Lou spells it out that he doesn't want to be involved with her. Cheryl says she thought he was just playing hard to get - as some men find it difficult to be around a woman of means. Lou insists that he doesn't find it difficult. Cheryl suggests that they go to the pub and get a bite to eat!
LOU: I don't believe this!
CHERYL: (laughing) I was only joking! Please don't tell me you've lost your sense of humour too, Cuddles.
LOU: PLEASE don't call me that! Or Schnuckums! Or anything!
Lou tells Cheryl that they need some space. Cheryl agrees, saying that she doesn't want to get him offside. She winds him up as he leaves, and then laughs to herself.
Doug is fretting over the tax office. Pam suggests that he ring them, but he doesn't want to. Beth appears and apologises for bothering them.
BETH: I need some advice.
DOUG: Never, ever get on the wrong side of the tax department!
Pam throws a tea towel at Doug and tells Beth to ignore Mr Doom and Gloom!
BETH: I've been asked out by someone.
PAM: That... you don't like?
BETH: No, I like him. He's a really nice guy.
DOUG: So what's the problem? You and Brad? You don't have to worry about that.
BETH: This guy's married.
PAM: Oh dear!
DOUG: Beth, you're asking for trouble.
BETH: He's just separated.
DOUG: That's what they all say!
BETH: No, I know he is!
PAM: You're sure it's not a rebound thing?
BETH: No! ... ... ... I don't know! What should I do?
Pam hugs her and tells her to be careful and to go slowly - she and Doug would hate to see her hurt again.
Rick spies Lou out of the window. He and Lauren start 'pretend' arguing. Lou bursts in and is furious that they're at it again - he could hear them yelling down the street. Rick distracts him, saying that he's got a personal letter and Rick put it in the kitchen cupboard for him(!)
Lou is confused (unsurprisingly) but Rick said he didn't want it lying around as it looked kind of personal. Lou's worried that it's from Cheryl. He opens the kitchen cupboard and loads of cereal falls on top of him. He's really annoyed, and Rick and Lauren start to blame each other - but then suggest that it's Lou's fault, as he told them to co-operate!
Lou keeps up the furious act for a moment, and then throws cereal at them and starts laughing.
Lassiter's Manager's Office
Phil is finishing up an interview with a man for the chef's job. Beth appears and Phil tells her that he was no use, and jokingly asks if she's turned up to apply!
BETH: No. I've been thinking about us going out.
PHIL: I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry.
BETH: No, no, that's ok. Why should I worry about what other people think? So... if you still want to, I'd like to.
Phil slowly lifts his head as this sinks in - it's obviously not what he was expecting her to say! Beth waits for a moment, and then prompts him for an answer. Phil looks a bit surprised, and then he agrees. They both smile.
Pam says that she can't help feeling sad, as Beth would've made a wonderful daughter-in-law. Doug tells her not to rake over all of it again, but Pam is upset - she's worried about Beth and thinks that married men and young single girls is a recipe for disaster!
The phone goes and Doug answers it. It's the tax office. Pam and Doug whisper to each other anxiously - they've been reassessed. Pam is gleeful - she knew Ned's figures were shonky! Doug seems a bit shell shocked at the news he receives.
PAM: (excitedly) We're getting a refund?
DOUG: Not exactly.
PAM: But we don't have to pay $70,000?! Ned's figures were wrong!
DOUG: We don't have to pay $70,000.
PAM: (hugging Doug) Oh, that's great!
DOUG: We have to pay $100,000!