- Jill tells Pam that she and Doug are having an affair.
- A dodgy bloke comes looking for Marco and threatens Cathy instead.
Cathy asks exactly what the man wants with Marco. He says he just wants to know where to find him. Cathy says Marco is on holiday for a few weeks and he didn't say where. He creepily tells her that he'll be back, and to tell Marco that "Noddy" is looking for him.
Lou comes round dressed in a hat, dark glasses and a coat. Apparently he doesn't want Madge to see him(!). Doug commiserates with Lou about Madge.
Pam comes in and tells them she's been visiting Jill at the hospital.
PAM: We need to talk, Doug. *Now*.
LOU: Er...look, Doug, forget the beer, mate.
He puts down his bottle.
LOU: I've got things to do, I can always pick my stuff up from Madge's later.
DOUG: Don't go, Lou!
LOU: No, no, sorry, got to go...er...I'll see you Pam.
DOUG: What did you do that for? Poor bloke's desperate to cry on someone's shoulder. And you almost ordered him out...
PAM:(cutting in) Did you or didn't you?
DOUG:(confused) Did I or didn't I what?
PAM: Have an affair with Jill. And don't try to fob me off with lies, Doug. I want the truth.
There is a bit of a pause.
DOUG: It was a one- off thing, Pam. That's all, I swear. You believe me, don't you?
He moves towards her, but she holds up a hand.
PAM: No. No, I might have if you'd told me when it happened.
DOUG: I just didn't want you getting hurt.
PAM: Oh....so many things make sense, now. Why you got so angry when you came back from Queensland and found her living here. And why you couldn't *wait* to get her into a flat so that you could both have some privacy(!)
DOUG: I just wanted to get her out of our lives for good!
PAM: Jill seems to think otherwise! She claims you're in love with her!
DOUG: What?! That's garbage!
PAM: I mean, I can perfectly understand it, she's a very attractive woman, and she's obviously head- over- heels in love with you, or why would she try to kill herself?
DOUG: I told her there was no way I'd ever leave you! It...it was a mistake, Pam. A big one, I admit it. But I love you, you know that. I love you more now than when I asked you to marry me.
PAM: Don't touch me!
Phoebe is telling Stephen about pre- natal classes. He asks who her coach is. Phoebe says she'll have to manage alone, so Stephen offers to help.
Lou comes round and interrupts Benito talking to a customer. Benito isn't very pleased and tells Lou off. Lou says the customer will be back with his chequebook soon as he's a serious customer. Benito tells Lou to butt out - it's his car yard now.
Gaby tells Madge that Lou has already paid her for Madge's wedding dress in full. Madge tells Gaby she hopes that Lou will meet someone else in time - he deserves it. Madge is going through the figures for the Waterhole and asks Gaby to start her shift a bit earlier.
PAM: I'll send you the rest of your stuff when you move into Jill's new place(!)
DOUG: Pam, I'm not moving in with Jill! Can't you accept what happened as a terrible mistake? It wouldn't have happened at all if you'd come to that convention with me.
PAM: Oh...oh I see! So it's all *my* fault now, is it?!
DOUG: And Jim Robinson's.
DOUG: Look, I have to be blind, deaf and dumb not to notice what's been going on between you two.
PAM: That's crazy, Doug...
DOUG: All that Florence Nightingale stuff when he was sick, holding his hand in hospital, giving him massages...popping across the road every five minutes to check up on him!
PAM: He was a seriously ill man.
DOUG: You see dozens of seriously ill patients every day! How come old Jimbo gets the VIP treatment?!
PAM: He's a friend!
DOUG: Oh, yeah. Obviously a closer friend than I realised. The night Jill turned up at the convention, I phoned you from the hotel.
PAM: Yes, I remember.
DOUG: I phoned twice. The first time, Jim answered.
PAM: So it *was* you.
DOUG: Yeah. And what was I supposed to think?
PAM: So, on the strength of some paranoid, half- baked suspicion, you slept with Jill.
DOUG: Well, something like that.
PAM: You'd better get out of here.
DOUG: Look, I'm just trying to explain...
PAM: I don't want to know, Doug! If that's the best excuse you can come up with for wrecking our marriage, then I'm glad to see the back of you.
DOUG: Oh, Pam...
PAM:(angrily) JUST GO!!
She slams the door behind him.
Cathy is very edgy and screams when Lou surprises her at the counter with his dark glasses etc on. He orders some sandwiches and tells her he's avoiding Madge, at least for now. They talk about Benito and Lou tells her he's been down the car yard this afternoon.
Through the window, Lou sees Madge crossing the Lassiter's complex. He asks Cathy if he can use the back door(!)
Doug is sitting looking depressed and Gaby is trying to drag it out of him. He doesn't want to tell.
GABY: OK, then I'll just have to ask mum!
She gets up to leave.
DOUG: Gaby, wait.
Stephen and Phoebe are practising baby breathing. Phoebe finds it all very amusing, and invite Stephen to come to the rest of the classes.
GABY: Dad swears blind he won't be moving in with her.
PAM: Well, I don't care if he sleeps in the gutter. He's not coming back here.
GABY: You can't wipe twenty- five years of marriage just like that...
PAM: You think this is the first time he's been unfaithful to me?
GABY:(uncertain) He says so...
PAM: What about Brenda?
PAM: Lou's sister, used to work in the Coffee Shop.
GABY: I know who she is, but I thought we sorted all that out.
PAM: So did I. Maybe I was wrong.
GABY: Mum...Dad is a flirt by nature, you know that, but it's always been strictly look, don't touch.
PAM: That's what I used to think. Oh, probably my own fault for being too damn sure of him.
GABY: So what are you going to do?
PAM: At the moment, I don't care if I never see him again.
Gaby hugs her.
Benito comes in. Madge tells him that Cathy is looking for him. Madge has left the stock sheets at home. Benito says he'll mind the bar while she fetches them. On her way out, Madge tells a customer that Benito is Marco's father. It's the man who threatened Cathy in the Coffee Shop earlier!
The man comes over to talk to order a beer. He introduces himself and says he's from London. Benito tells him where Marco is staying in London.
Phoebe and Stephen are watching a childbirth video. He rubs her shoulders.
PHOEBE: Stephen, don't get any ideas, will you?
STEPHEN: About what?
PHOEBE: About being there when I have the baby.
STEPHEN: Well, *someone's* got to be. I mean, look at that poor girl. Giving birth's a traumatic experience. You need someone there who can...
PHOEBE: Who can what?
STEPHEN: Who can hold your hand. Say encouraging things.
PHOEBE: I realise that...I guess I'm not sure whether our relationship is ready for anything like that...
There is a bit of a thud and it seems that the content of the video has made Stephen faint(!)
Madge bumps into Lou picking up his stuff. He says he's been keeping a low profile, and it's better for them both if he leaves.
MADGE: I'm just so sorry about everything that's happened. I'd do anything I could to make it right. I don't want to lose your friendship, not after all these years.
LOU: Don't ask me to pretend it's nothing more.
MADGE: I'm not. But it just seems ridiculous for you to be moving out when I'm looking for a trustworthy tenant.
LOU: You want me to rent the place?
MADGE: Why not?
LOU:(pleased) It does seem the most simple solution.
MADGE: It's only a week before I go to Queensland. Surely we can survive together under the same roof for that long?
LOU: Yeah, we could give it a go! At least I can make the most of your cooking before you leave town!
Stephen slowly comes round and Phoebe explains what happened. Stephen is a bit embarrassed. Phoebe says she will consider allowing Stephen to be there - but she'll have to see how she feels when the big day arrives.
STEPHEN: I already know how I feel about you.
He kisses her.
STEPHEN: I shouldn't be rushing you, I'm sorry.
PHOEBE: I'm not.
Gaby comes back and relieves Benito at the bar. He rushes off to find Cathy.
Jim is sitting at the bar and asks Gaby what's going on.
GABY:(upset) It's nothing major at all. My rat of a father's been having an affair and my mother's completely devastated. Nothing major at all.
Jim takes this in.
Cathy is cross that Benito didn't get in touch with her sooner. She tells him about the dodgy bloke who said to pass on a message to Marco: "no more stalling or he'd be sorry". Benito is relieved that Marco is in London, but then realises he's revealed Marco's whereabouts in London to the bloke in the pub - he thinks it's the same person.
CATHY: You didn't tell him where Marco was staying, did you?
LOU: You shouldn't have told her, mate. I warned you this would happen.
DOUG: It wasn't me, it was Jill!
LOU: Oh, very sneaky. She probably couldn't wait for you to walk out of your own free will, I suppose.
DOUG: Well, she'd be waiting a long time. Even if Pam *never* takes me back...
LOU: Look, Pam's a good sort, she'll calm down. In the meantime, we can fix you up with a bed here, Madge won't mind.
MADGE:(coming in) Oh yes, she will. Doug, I'm very sorry, but there's no way I can harbour a two- timing womaniser under my roof.
LOU: Oh, steady on, love.
MADGE: Oh, Lou, it's all his own fault.
Doug gets up to leave.
LOU: No, no, Doug, just hang on there a minute, mate.
Lou goes to talk to Madge in the kitchen.
LOU: Madge, what were you saying before about not wanting to lose my friendship? Now, I don't give a darn what Doug has done or not done. He's a mate, and he's in trouble. If you've got so moralistic and niggly in your old age that you'd turf a man out into the street then I'm not about to hang around either.
MADGE: Lou, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be that hard on him, but my sympathies are with Pam. After everything I went through with Fred, I know exactly how she feels.
LOU: Look, just one night. That's all I'm asking. For the sake of friendship.
MADGE: Alright. One.
A meal lies uneaten in the kitchen. Pam is sitting on the living room floor, crying. Presently, she hears the front door opening.
PAM:(looking up) Jim!
JIM: Gaby told me all about it, I'm so sorry.
He sits down on the floor with her and puts a hand on her shoulder.
JIM: You shouldn't be on your own tonight.
PAM: Oh, Jim.
JIM: It's alright, I'm here.
He kisses her cheek, then kisses her on the lips.