Madge and Harold arguing about Harold putting on a show at the Waterhole. Madge reluctantly agreeing to book him.
Josh joins Melissa in the street. She's holding and stroking Freud the mouse, and she tells Josh that Freud knows her already. She then asks Josh if everyone paid their money. Josh nods that they did.
MELISSA: So you don't have to cut off anyone's newspapers?
JOSH (indignantly): I wouldn't do that!
MELISSA: Well what *would* you do?
JOSH: Torch their houses!
Josh then thanks Melissa for coming with him. They walk along Ramsay Street and bump into Ryan. Josh asks him how things are going. Ryan sighs that Joe can't pay him until the end of the week and his gramps won't lend him any money. He adds that he's taking Annabelle out tonight and he's only got $20. Melissa suggests staying home and watching telly!
RYAN: Tonight's not actually the problem – see, we're going Dutch anyway; but tomorrow's her birthday and I haven't even got her a present yet.
Josh tells Ryan that he can lend him $100 from his paper round, as long as it's only for a couple of days. Ryan accepts gratefully and promises he'll pay it back.
Office of the Robinson Corporation
Christina knocks on the door and points out to Paul and Caroline that it's nearly 7pm. Caroline muses that it's just another working day at the Robinson Corporation!
PAUL: And you're well paid for it...
Christina then tells Paul and Caroline that she finished filming the commercial today and the director seemed very pleased with her. Paul comments that there'll be no more time off from the gift shop, then? Christina replies that there'll be none for the moment – but there might be a whole advertising campaign. Paul asks what the commercials are *for*, but Christina tells him she's been told not to say. She adds that she'll be back in the gift shop tomorrow – same as always. She then asks if she can have a lift home. Caroline, however, replies that she's not going home straight away as Madge has organised more entertainment at the Waterhole. She suggests to Christina that she come along. Christina, however, says she's pretty beat, so she'll get an early night. The two of them head into the outer office, where Caroline enthuses to Christina that Madge has booked another country singer, and if the last one was any example tonight should be great!
Harold, Madge and Eddie are by the bar.
EDDIE: Relax, Madge: Harold's ballads are proven winners for a century. There's no need for doubts whatsoever.
HAROLD (coolly, to Madge): Quite right – and please try to show a little confidence in me.
MADGE (snaps): I booked you, didn't I?
Kerry and Joe walk in and Kerry wishes Harold luck. Joe laughs that he'll be a real hoot. A few seconds later, Clarrie walks in.
JOE: Here he is: God's gift to gamblers! Hear you felt the wagon, mate: face down in the dust. Hundred smackeroos you owe me!
CLARRIE (demands): Who told you?
JOE: Friend in the business.
CLARRIE (curtly): You'll get your money; don't worry.
He walks away. Eddie comments to Joe coolly that that wasn't very nice: Clarrie has a major problem with the booze: that's what put him off his game in the darts comp the other night. A couple of feet away, Des is served two drinks and he goes and hands one to Caroline. Adam come in and joins them, but as Caroline turns to face him, someone stands up behind her and knocks her, and she accidentally tips her drink over Adam's shirt. She apologises profusely as she grabs a cloth and starts wiping him down. As she does so, he asks if there's any decision about his job. Caroline tells him that it's a little bit too soon: he's only just put in his application.
ADAM: The sooner I hear, the better.
ADAM: I was going to ask you out – but I didn't want it seen as undue influence.
CAROLINE (smiles): Well I won't be involved in the decision.
ADAM: No? Fantastic! A movie? Tomorrow night?
Adam suggests they meet there tomorrow at 6:30pm and decide what to go and see. Caroline smiles that it sounds spontaneous! Eddie steps up onto the stage and starts testing the microphone.
Ryan and Annabelle are sitting opposite each other. Ryan looks at the bill as Annabel tells him that she picked the place because it's quite cheap. Ryan insists that there was no need to. He looks slightly perturbed at the cost, though.
ANNABELLE: How much?
ANNABELLE: That's not too bad. Listen, I forgot we're going Dutch and didn't bring any money with me. Can you pick up the tab and I'll get it next time?
RYAN (nervously hesitant): Er... no worries. I wanted to treat you to your birthday anyway.
ANNABELLE: Thanks. That's sweet.
As they stand up to leave, Annabelle adds:
ANNABELLE: Don't forget to leave a tip. Ten per cent's $4.50... leave $50.
Ryan sighs heavily!
Harold is standing on the small stage, reciting a bush poem to the crowd.
‘Twas Mulgar Bill from Eagle Hawk
Who caught the cycling craze.
He did away with his old horse
That served him many days.
He dressed himself in cycling clothes
All resplendent to be seen!
And hurried off to town
And bought a shiny new machine!
And as he wheeled it through the door
With air of lordly pride
A grinning shop assistant said:
“Excuse me, can you ride?!”
As Harold continues, someone yells out at him suddenly to get off. Madge looks at Kerry nervously.
MAN IN CROWD: We're not at school now.
ANOTHER MAN: Get off!
Eddie dashes quickly up onto the stage.
EDDIE: OK then, folks, we'll skip the part of the act where Harold does a strip, eh?
HAROLD (indignantly): I haven't finished yet.
Eddie thanks Harold for his refreshing glimpse of Mulgar Bill. Addressing the audience, he then continues:
EDDIE: By the way, Harold, what do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?
HAROLD (blankly): I beg your pardon?!
EDDIE: Sister Matic!
There are some chuckles from the crowd.
EDDIE (continuing his performance): ‘Cos Harold wasn't always on the stage, you know? Back in his early days, he was a bouncer for Toy World! [Laughter] He's very adventurous, Harold, aren't you, mate? Did you know he's the first man in Australia to climb to the top of his wallet?! [More laughter!] He's absolutely loaded, aren't you, eh? He's got a thriving business at the Coffee Shop and he's a great cook too, aren't you, Harold. The food's so good there, it's fit for a prince. [Holding out his hand as if to a dog] Here Prince!
The crowd is in fits of laughter. Harold stands there, looking uncomfortable.
EDDIE: Wasn't always that easy in business, though, mate, was it? Before he had a coffee shop, he had a paper shop – but it blew away, mate, didn't it!
HAROLD (coldly): Are you telling me to get off?
EDDIE: No, no. Just step back a bit.
HAROLD (looking at the small stage): Step back? How far can I go?
EDDIE: You got a car?!
The audience is in stitches. Harold looks well and truly put out.
The front door opens and Harold, Madge and Eddie arrive home, Harold snapping at Eddie:
HAROLD: The fact remains that you treated me as a total incompetent.
Eddie insists that the audience loved them: Harold is a hit. Harold retorts that if he'd got into that poem, he'd have captivated the two troublesome larrikins: it's a very funny poem.
MADGE: Harold, please... you were teetering on the brink of disaster.
EDDIE: A great new comedy duo found the light..! Morecambe found Wise...! The crowd were screaming for more! Just wait until next time!
HAROLD: There will *be* no next time.
With that, he storms off to bed, leaving Eddie to comment to Madge that he and Harold could be huge. Madge just muses that she thinks Eddie has given his last performance!
The next morning, Ryan is walking along by himself when Josh and Melissa run after him and catch him up. Josh tells Ryan that there's an emergency: he needs back the $100 he lent Ryan because his dad is hassling him to finish the collections, and he wants the money tonight. Ryan, however, apologises and explains that he's spent it: he got stuck with the bill last night for dinner and spent the rest on Annabel's present.
JOSH: If I don't get that money, my father is going to terminate me.
Melissa asks Ryan if he can't get a loan from his grandfather. Ryan sighs that Clarrie has already knocked him back. Josh suggests returning the present and getting a refund. Ryan tells him that it was marked down and they said there'd be no refunds.
JOSH: Ryan, I'm desperate.
RYAN (sighs): All right, leave it with me: I'll get you your money back.
RYAN: I'll think of something, all right?
JOSH: Ryan, if I don't get that money, I'm dead, all right? And so are you.
Office of the Robinson Corporation
Madge walks into the office and Paul and Caroline tell her that they want to hire Eddie and Harold as a regular feature! Madge, looking surprised, tells Paul that Harold doesn't want to do it again.
PAUL: Madge, their act is pure Australiana. The overseas tourists at the hotel are going to have a ball.
Madge sighs that she doesn't think Harold will want to do it.
PAUL (curtly): Madge, you are my Entertainment Director and I *want* Harold and Eddie.
Harold is snapping at Eddie that he will not repeat last night's performance under any circumstances. Christina is sitting at the counter, and she tells Harold she heard all about it and they said he was sensational; everybody was really impressed.
HAROLD (intrigued): They actually used the word ‘sensational'?
HAROLD (turning to Eddie): But I'm not even sure that what I did was funny.
Christina suggests to him that he try the act it in private and see what happens. Harold pauses. He then tells them that he'll think about it; that's all he's saying. The door to the Coffee Shop opens suddenly and Adam walks in. He looks at Christina and says hi. Christina stares at him blankly.
ADAM: You're looking good today.
CHRISTINA: Thank you!
ADAM: No need to mention it – it's the truth!
Christina gets up to head off. As she does so, Adam comments that he doesn't even know her first name. Christina tells him.
ADAM: Well, have you seen the Dick Tracy movie, Christina?
CHRISTINA: No – but I'm certainly going to.
ADAM: That makes both of us. Why don't we do it tonight?
CHRISTINA (looking taken aback): Um, well, sure. I mean, what's life without a bit of adventure?!
ADAM: Fantastic! So that's the Waterhole, 6:30pm, check?
Kitchen at No. 32
Joe is welding Kerry's egg flip to her baking tray on the kitchen table! Kerry walks in, looks at what he's doing and snaps:
KERRY: I need those things.
JOE (sighs): You're just like everybody else: an art critic. So much for ‘life is a baking dish'!
Ryan walks in and tells Joe that he needs the money Joe owes him.
JOE: There's this business term, mate: it's called cashflow. I'm flat broke, so you're flat broke.
Ryan walks off again, looking disappointed and worried.
Office of the Robinson Corporation
Christina walks in and tells Caroline not to bother cooking dinner for her tonight, as she has a date.
CAROLINE: You're not going to believe this, but I've got a date as well!
Christina starts enthusing about Adam:
CHRISTINA: Mine is a real honey.
CAROLINE: Wait ‘til you see what *I* latched onto!
CHRISTINA: I met him in the Coffee Shop. It was like a total accident; very spontaneous.
The ‘phone starts ringing and Paul answers it. He then turns to the twins and asks them to stop gasbagging as it's an overseas call.
Clarrie is sitting in the lounge room, stroking Rosie, when Ryan arrives home. He says uncertainly to his grandpa:
RYAN: Hi, gramps. I'm in a bit of a jam, and it's rather important... I borrowed some money for Annabelle's birthday present and the bloke I borrowed it off needs it back in a real hurry.
CLARRIE: That's not *your* problem.
RYAN: Yes it is – he's a mate, and he'll be in real strife.
CLARRIE: And you want me to get him out of it?
RYAN: Yes please, if you could; just this once. I'll never ask again.
CLARRIE: I'm afraid I can't at the moment – I'm a bit short myself. But if you're so desperate, why don't you borrow from Annabelle?
RYAN (horrified): No! I can't do that! What about the money for emergencies Aunty Dot left?
CLARRIE: Don't even think about it – Dot'd have a fit.
Clarrie then tells Ryan that if he wants to play around with rich kids, that's fine, but he's got to find some way of doing it without bludging off everyone else. He gets up and leads Rosie out. Left alone in the lounge room, Ryan goes to the cupboard, takes out a jar and removes several notes...
Outside the Coffee Shop
Melissa and Josh are sitting drinking milkshakes. Melissa is telling Josh that Freud needs a companion.
JOSH: I'm sorry – I can't help you, Melissa.
MELISSA: Why not?
JOSH: I promised the rest of the mice to Mr. Jenning.
MELISSA: The Biology teacher? Why?
JOSH: For Biology – what else? We start dissection next week.
MELISSA (looking horrified): Josh!
JOSH: What? It's educational.
MELISSA: It's disgusting. How can you be so cruel?!
JOSH: It's nothing to do with me; it's part of the syllabus.
MELISSA: But those mice are pets. You can't just let them die.
JOSH: Well I can't keep them, either. Melissa, I bred them for Biology class.
MELISSA: You're revolting. If you hand those mice over to Mr. Jenning, I don't want anything more to do with you.
Melissa stands up and storms off.
Christina is sitting by the bar. Madge offers her another drink, but Christina dithers over whether to have one.
MADGE: Waiting for someone, are you?
CHRISTINA: A guy.
MADGE: First date, is it?
CHRISTINA: Can you tell?
MADGE: Oh no, no. It was just a wild guess. Special guy, is it?
CHRISTINA: Actually, we've just met – but he does seem very, very nice, yeah – and he's the first person to show interest in a very long time.
The door opens suddenly and Caroline walks in!
CAROLINE: Chrissy, what are *you* doing here?!
CHRISTINA: Meeting my date!
CAROLINE: So am I! Isn't that a coincidence!
Madge offers Caroline a drink, but she declines.
CHRISTINA (to Caroline): This is great! You can meet my date and I can meet yours!
CAROLINE: And they can meet each other. And if they get on, maybe we can double?
CHRISTINA: No chance – I think I'll have mine all to myself!
The door to the Waterhole opens at that moment and Adam walks in.
CAROLINE (to Christina): That's him!
Christina looks astonished. She and Caroline look at each other warily. Adam stops in his tracks as he stares at them.
ADAM: Um... you two wouldn't be related by any chance?
CAROLINE: Just slightly...
ADAM (hesitantly): I'm a touched confused. I know I've got a date with *one* of you, but I'm not sure which.
CAROLINE and CHRISTINA (together): Me!
Adam stands there looking bemused!