Harold accusing Joe of stealing all the plants he bought.
Ramsay Street/Front garden of No. 32
Joe glares at Harold and snaps that he's out of his tiny mind! Harold retorts:
HAROLD: I am totally lucid, you... you pot pilferer! Oh yes... all the pieces fall into place now: I should have expected it.
Joe tells Harold angrily that he's been around that garden spray for too long: it's gone straight up his nose! Harold mutters that Joe's retorting to personal insults but he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Joe says this looks like some of the low-down, sneaky, underhand stunts that *Harold* would pull but he knows what Harold has done: he thought he'd bring over one of his scungy pots, stick it in Joe's patch, call him a thief, then get him chucked out of the gardening comp. Harold says coldly:
HAROLD: You repeat that in front of witnesses and I'd have you *sued*.
JOE (retorts): Don't tempt me. I'd clear you out in court, you big bag of wind.
Harold tries to pick up one of the pots, but Joe pushes him away, warning him not to touch his stuff. He goes on angrily.
JOE: I have got one of the biggest nurseries in the whole joint supplying me with every plant that I need *free*. Why would I need one of *your* pathetic pot plants?
HAROLD: Obviously to diminish my chances of winning, you unscrupulous oaf! It's the only chance you'll have of winning too, you know, with those horrible monstrosities and... yes!
JOE: Oh, I see: making fun of my taste in art, now, are ya?
HAROLD (exclaims in astonishment): Art?! It's a wonder you haven't got arrested for defacing the neighbourhood!
Joe glares at Harold and then warns him that he's had enough of him today. He orders him to beat it. Harold retorts that he's leaving, but he's taking with him what's his. With that, he goes and picks up one of his plants. Joe goes to grab it back, and the two of the start playing tug of war with it!
Henry is staring out the front window. Bronwyn is sitting studying and Henry joins her at the kitchen table as he laughs that Harold and Joe are playing tug of war with a pot plant! He adds:
HENRY: Maybe it's the greenhouse effect!
Bronwyn, however, says more seriously that she thought he might still be upset: that's how he sounded on the radio, talking to that girl. Henry murmurs that she heard it... He asks her what she thought. Bronwyn mutters:
BRONWYN: Are you going to change the name of your programme to Dial a Date'?
Henry comments that that's a pretty cheap shot, and Bronwyn apologises. She goes on, however, that she did think he was very good in the way he talked to Cass but he asked her out, and she thinks that was a mistake. Henry sighs heavily and says *he* does, too and the last thing he wanted to do was upset Bronwyn. He continues:
HENRY: When Cass hung up on me the first time, I got really scared. I thought she might do something crazy and I didn't know if it was going to be my fault or not so, yes, I over-reacted when she called back; but what's she going to do if I call it off *now*?
BRONWYN (shrugs): Then I guess you'll have to go through with it. Doesn't really matter whether I approve or *not*, does it?
Henry sits there looking worried.
Front garden of No. 32/Ramsay Street
Harold and Joe are chasing each other around the front garden! Kerry emerges from the house and demands to know what they're doing. Joe yells at her to call the police: he's having Harold charged with trespass and assault. The men stop running around and Kerry asks in astonishment if the two of them have gone crazy! Joe retorts:
JOE: I am just defending my property.
The two of them start struggling over a pot plant again and Joe exclaims:
JOE: This mongrel called me a thief.
KERRY (aghast): Dad, you didn't!
Harold tells her to have a look at what Joe's got in his hand: he caught him red-handed! Kerry orders a time-out! She tells Harold that Joe's her husband and she knows he's no thief. She then turns to Joe and tells him that she knows her dad wouldn't be so upset unless he thought he was right so don't the two of them think this might be some sort of misunderstanding? Joe admits that she's right. He then says to Harold:
JOE: I thought you were just being two-faced... but really you're just being... stupid!
HAROLD (aghast): *Stupid*?
JOE: *Totally* stupid! Look, the older you get, the *stupider* you get.
HAROLD: Oh yes, I'm stupid all right: stupid for letting you marry my *daughter*.
JOE: Look, I should've known having a father-in-law like you would be like having one permanent pain in the
Kerry screams to stop him as he points to his backside!
Meanwhile, Sharon, Hilary and Melanie walk up the street, past the arguing Joe and Harold, and Hilary mutters that it's an absolute disgrace: the entire neighbourhood is going to the dogs.
Back in the front garden of No. 32, Joe is holding the pot plant Harold says is his, growling:
JOE: You really want this? You *really* want it?
With that, he marches over to the car port and throws the plant onto the roof, yelling as he does so:
JOE: And your singing's shocking too!
Hilary is looking out through the front window of the lounge room, commenting to Sharon that Joe Mangel was *born* guilty; it's people like that that tarnish the neighbourhood. All of a sudden, a female voice calls out for Matt, and Lee comes in, wearing a very short robe. Hilary and Sharon both turn and stare at her in astonishment! Lee quickly introduces herself. Hilary says coolly:
HILARY: I shan't forgive him for this.
SHARON: Don't you think you might be jumping to conclusions, Hilary?
HILARY (tersely): Don't try and defend him, Sharon.
LEE: I know what you must be thinking
Lee looks down at the robe. Hilary just retorts:
HILARY: I think that you should be *ashamed* of yourself, young lady.
LEE: But I've got nothing to be ashamed *of*. Why don't you just let me explain?
HILARY (sharply): I think not. Now, will you kindly get dressed and get out of my house?
A short time later, Sharon is commenting to Hilary that Matt never did anything like this *before*. Hilary, however, mutters:
HILARY: Don't bother.
At that moment, they hear the front door bang and Matt calling out for Lee. He comes into the lounge room and, seeing the look on Hilary's face, murmurs:
MATT: Ah... home early.
HILARY (demands): Is that all you have to say?
MATT: You've, er, met Lee, I take it.
SHARON: Straight out of the shower.
HILARY (tersely): I have only one thing to say to you, Matthew: I am ashamed. *Ashamed*. I trusted you and this is the way you repay me. Well, I shall know better in the future. There are going to be many changes around here.
Matt asks Hilary if she's *spoken* to Lee, but Hilary retorts that she doesn't discuss moral issues with half-naked young women dripping water on her carpet. Matt tries to explain that the shower was *his* idea, but Hilary retorts:
HILARY: Please, please, spare me the details.
MATT: Wouldn't *you* offer someone a shower if they'd just gotten off the bus all the way from Adelaide?
HILARY (looking suddenly wrong-footed): Pardon?
Matt, who's holding the clothes that Kerry lent him, asks Sharon to take them to Lee. She leaves the room with them. Matt then tells Hilary that Lee probably feels totally humiliated. Hilary warns him not to think he's going to get out of this by lying. Matt, however, retorts that he thought he was *trusted* around there. Hilary sighs and says:
HILARY: Very well. Convince me.
MATT: Like I told you, she's a friend of mine from school in Adelaide. She arrived on the bus today. Her name is Lee Maloney.
HILARY: And the clothes? What about the clothes?
MATT: I had to borrow those off Kerry. See, her luggage got lost on the bus.
HILARY (disbelievingly): On the *bus*?
MATT: Yeah, on the bus.
HILARY: Oh, well, we'd better ring this bus company and find out where it is.
MATT (quickly): I already did that. They said the luggage has gone all the way to Newcastle. They said they're very sorry it'll be back in a couple of days. You can ring and check, if you like.
Hilary just stands there. Sharon comes back in and says Lee's getting dressed. Matt comments that she must be pretty upset, and Sharon nods that she said she just wants to get out of there. Matt mutters that he thought his friends would be *welcome* there. Hilary, however, snaps:
HILARY: Don't be so silly, Matthew how do you *expect* me to react? This young woman just drops in out of the blue...
MATT: She *didn't* drop in out of the blue. Look, she wrote a letter saying she was coming, only I didn't get it. She feels terrible that we didn't know she was arriving, but I mean... well, if she had any money, she'd be staying at a motel.
HILARY (queries): Money? But I thought you said she lost her *luggage*.
MATT: Her money was *in* in the luggage. Look, mum, what was I supposed to do? She was an old friend; I offered her somewhere to stay.
Hilary points out that there's no *room*. Matt suggests that she could bunk in with Sharon. Sharon, however, looks horrified at the idea. She then gives in and mutters that she can share temporarily. Matt looks at Hilary and asks if it's all right with *her*. Hilary replies that temporary' will be the operative word. She adds that, in a few days' time, when Lee's money and luggage turn up, they'll put her visit into perspective. Matt smiles in relief.
Harold is huffing and puffing around, muttering about revenge! Bronwyn warns him that he's very red: his blood pressure's probably up. Harold just retorts that of *course* it's up: Joe's trying to put him in an early grave. Henry asks if *he* can throw in a few words. Harold, however, tells Henry not to speak to him he's a traitor: his partnership with Joe comes before family. Henry insists:
HENRY: Harold, he gets all the plants he needs for *free*. Didn't he tell you that? He had no *reason* to pinch your plants.
HAROLD: No reason? Malice... sabotage... *There* are *two* reasons.
Bronwyn chips in that she's got to go and get the groceries, and she heads out. Harold mutters to Henry:
HAROLD: You just don't see it, do you? He steals my plants, thereby ruining my chances the day before the competition, and then he invites me over there to insult me in front of the whole street.
Henry sighs and tells Harold just not to go dragging everyone *else* in on it: they've got their *own* problems. With that, Henry heads to his room, leaving Harold standing in the lounge, looking thoughtful. After a few seconds, he starts saying in a Churchillian tone:
HAROLD: We shall fight them in the streets. We shall fight them in the gardens. And we shall never surrender. Yes!
Joe is plumping up a cushion for Kerry in the lounge room, but she pushes him away, looking annoyed. Joe tells her coolly that he doesn't have to take Harold's insults: he's got his pride too. Lochy runs in suddenly and tells Joe that the plant looks great on top of the carport! Joe looks at Kerry and demands:
JOE: What do you want from me? An apology? OK I'm sorry that happened.
KERRY: Have you cooled down?
Joe stands there, huffing and puffing for several seconds, before then murmuring:
JOE: A bit.
KERRY: Fine. Now, I'm waiting to see whether you're smart or dumb.
JOE: All right. Let's just say, for argument's sake, he really thinks I nicked his plants but *I* know I got them from the nursery this morning.
Kerry just stares at him. After a few seconds, realisation dawns and Joe exclaims:
JOE: Ah, no, Kerry, they *wouldn't*. No, they're not crooks; they're *good* blokes.
KERRY: Maybe, maybe not.
JOE: Well, what do you expect me to do?
KERRY: If that plant up on the carport roof has dad's handwriting on the label, then it was stolen.
Joe says he's got to think. Kerry glares at him and mutters:
KERRY: That's all you're going to do: think? Fine.
With that, she marches out, looking annoyed.
Lee walks shyly into the lounge room, wearing Kerry's clothes, and Matt smiles that they fit! Lee says she wants to tell Hilary the truth she feels terrible about this. Matt, however, tells her that if she blows the cover now, it's just going to make things worse. He goes on that all they have to do is buy her some time: they'll find her a proper job and somewhere to stay. Lee points out that Hilary will find out sooner or later, but Matt insists that when she does, he'll handle it. Sharon comes in and asks Matt if he wants to help set up the camp stretcher. Matt nods and heads out to her room. Left alone with Sharon, Lee says:
LEE: I appreciate you sharing. Thanks!
SHARON: That's all right. So, how's Adelaide?
LEE: Um... it's good. Yeah.
SHARON: Surprised Matt hasn't mentioned you before.
LEE: Oh, we haven't known each other very long.
SHARON: Really? You haven't known each other very long. I see. Tell me all about it...
Melanie is standing with Henry in the kitchen at No. 24, telling him that his radio programme was really moving. She asks if the girl he spoke to is going to be OK and Henry replies that he hopes so; he's not really qualified to handle those sorts of problems. Melanie asks if he's really going to go out with her. Henry sighs that he said he would, so yes, he will although it doesn't make him the most popular person round *there*. The two of them sit down at the kitchen table and Melanie comments that she can see Bronwyn's point. She goes on, though:
MELANIE: ...but she wouldn't feel so bad if you were *double*-dating, would she?
HENRY (blankly): What?
MELANIE: That's what *Sharon* did: safety in numbers.
HENRY (smiles): That's not such a silly idea!
Henry then asks who the other couple is going to be. Melanie suggests Joe and Kerry, but Henry says he needs someone sensitive, so not Joe! He then suggests:
HENRY: What about *you*?
MELANIE: Well... I haven't exactly *got* a boyfriend at the moment but I reckon the Rev would be in it!
HENRY (exclaims): Reverend Richards?!
MELANIE (enthusiastically): Yeah! He's really sensitive and I know just where we'll go!
HENRY: No, no, no, no, Mel, slow down!
MELANIE: You wanna have a good time, don't you? You wanna have a really good time?
MELANIE: Well, then leave it up to me and don't ask any questions. This is going to be a surprise!
A look of concern crosses Henry's face!
Joe and Harold are both standing in the lounge room, with Kerry between them. Joe crosses his arms and snaps:
JOE: I'm waiting:
KERRY (sighs): Dad may have jumped to conclusions, but he had good reason to.
JOE: I'm *still* waiting.
HAROLD (demands): For what?
JOE: An apology. If you're any sort of man, you would've done it already.
HAROLD (aghast): I'm not apologising to *you*, not after what you said to *me*.
JOE (tersely): Look, it's not the *first* time you've called me a thief, mate, and it's not the first time you've had your facts wrong.
Kerry interjects to exclaim that she's losing her patience with them. She tells Harold to apologise to Joe for calling him a liar and she tells Joe to apologise for everything else he's said. Joe snaps:
JOE: Him first.
HAROLD: All right but I have some questions first. If *you* didn't steal my plants, *who did*?
JOE: How would *I* know?
HAROLD: Well, you're hand-in-glove with this nursery, and that's apparently where they were found this morning.
JOE: Well, *that* doesn't prove anything. I mean, if you're gonna steal plants, of course the first place you're gonna flog them off to is a nursery. They're probably as innocent as *I* am.
HAROLD: Doh... it wouldn't be the *first* time that your so-called friends have been mixed up in some sort of shady activity.
JOE (furiously): Oh, that's it: that does it.
With that, Joe grabs Harold and tries to push him out of the house! Harold struggles to get away from him. Kerry yells:
Harold, however, retorts that he's not going to apologise. Joe snaps that he wouldn't accept it if he *did*! Harold demands his plants back. Joe yells:
JOE: You'll *get* your plants the day you stand out in the middle of Ramsay Street and just admit that you are *wrong*.
HAROLD (looking astonished): Never!
With that, Harold marches out. Kerry glares at Joe. He stares back and retorts that he's not changing his mind not for her, not for anybody. Kerry continues to stare at him. He then sighs:
JOE: All right!
He heads out. Kerry puts her hands to her head in frustration!
Front garden of No. 30
A man is unloading a truck full of plants in the front garden of No. 30. Hilary is standing with Sharon, saying she rather fancies she has a very good chance of winning the gardening competition: Jim's roses are rather pallid, and as for those appalling statues littering the Mangel yard... Sharon, however, is miles away, and Hilary realises that she hasn't been listening to a word she's said. Sharon explains that she was just thinking about Matt and Lee. She says:
SHARON: Do you think she's his girlfriend?
HILARY (coolly): If I thought *that*, she wouldn't be *staying* here. Anyway, I'm sure if Matthew had had a girlfriend in Adelaide, we'd have heard about it before now. Besides, they've known each other since primary school.
SHARON (looking surprised): Matt told you *that*, did he?
HILARY: Mmm. That was his explanation and I owe it to him to believe him. Look, Lee won't be staying with us for much longer, so we'll just have to make the most of it.
At that moment, Lee emerges from the house and joins them, offering to help with the gardening. Hilary, however, says she prefers to do it herself: there's a competition in the offing.
Across the street, Joe is marching over to No. 24, holding a pot plant! Lochy is following him, but she suddenly spots Lee standing with Hilary and Sharon and she runs over and says:
LOCHY: Hi Lee! Can I come over to the haunted house tomorrow?
Lee looks at Hilary and Sharon nervously. Sharon asks Lochy what she's on about, and Lochy replies:
LOCHY: The haunted house where Lee lives.
LEE: I don't know what she's talking about! Excuse me.
Lee walks off, looking worried. When she's gone, Lochy asks Hilary:
LOCHY: What's wrong with *her*?
Hilary just retorts:
HILARY: You've obviously met Lee *before*.
LOCHY (nods): At the haunted house. She's the best ghost I ever *saw*.
HILARY: *Is* she, now? Well, I think you'd better tell me all about it...
Harold opens the front door to Joe, who drops the pot plant on the floor in front of him, only without its pot! The earth the plant is in goes everywhere. Harold exclaims in astonishment:
HAROLD: You vandal!
JOE (snaps): You can thank your *daughter* for that I was going to leave it on the carport.
HAROLD: Where's me pot?
JOE: It's *my* pot.
With that, Joe marches off. Bronwyn comes in and Harold warns her to mind the dirt. She heads through to the kitchen, where Melanie and Henry are sitting at the kitchen table, and comments that the place gets crazier by the hour! She then asks Melanie what she's doing there and Melanie tells her:
MELANIE: Saving your relationship!
HENRY (exclaims): Melanie!
MELANIE: Henry, you've got to bring these things out in the open!
Melanie then explains about the double date. Bronwyn comments that she has to admit that she's happier about there being a crowd, but Cass sounds like a very insecure girl and they're lumbering her with two *more* people to deal with. Henry looks at Melanie in concern.
Lee is in the lounge room with Matt, sighing that she *knew* they should have told Hilary the truth in the first place. Matt tells her to let him think: maybe they can get out of it somehow. At that moment, though, Sharon comes in and demands:
SHARON: Just what sort of game are you two playing?
Matt asks her exactly what Lochy said, but Sharon just replies that Hilary's out there now, giving her the third degree. She turns to Lee and adds:
SHARON: *One* thing's for sure: you did not arrive on any bus from Adelaide.
Lee cries to Matt to let her just get her things and go. Matt, however, tells her that he doesn't *want* her to go. The front door bangs suddenly and Hilary marches in, snapping:
HILARY: From what *I* can gather, you have been making a complete and utter fool of me, *and* you've been telling me a pack of lies. Now, I want the truth.
Matt and Lee stand there staring at her.