Nick and Lucy kissing passionately.
Todd steps slowly back into the kitchen, looking upset. He then suddenly hears the back door open, and Jim comes in. He asks where Lucy is, and he goes to head through to the lounge room to look for her. Todd stops him quickly, though, and says he spoke to Joe today and told him he wouldn't be able to do his customers anymore. Lucy comes through at that moment and Jim smiles at her and asks her what she's been up to. She tells him:
LUCY: Not much!
Jim puts his arm round her and they head through to the lounge room, leaving Todd standing in the kitchen looking annoyed.
The next morning, Bronwyn is sitting at the kitchen table at No. 24, looking at jobs advertised in the Erinsborough News. Madge is putting the competition cake she's made for the fête in a box as Harold comes in and says he told Reverend Richards that he'd help set up the stalls. He tries to help Madge with the cake, but Madge pushes him away, warning him to be careful! Henry emerges from his room and smiles that it's a great-looking cake! Still looking at the newspaper, Bronwyn exclaims suddenly:
BRONWYN: This is exactly what I'm looking for!
BRONWYN: ‘Part-time assistant in veterinary surgery. No experience. Flexible hours.'
BRONWYN: ‘The successful applicant will have a love of animals and a willingness to work hard.'
HENRY: Yeah! And if you tell them you want to study to be a vet, you'll be in, no worries!
Harold, however, warns Bronwyn cautiously that there's sure to be lots of applicants. Bronwyn assures him quickly that it's not that she doesn't *like* working in the Coffee Shop, but she doesn't want to do it *forever*. Harold assures her that he wouldn't stand in her way. He then changes the subject and tells Henry that they're in desperate need of able-bodied assistants at the fête. Henry, however, says quickly that he wants to catch Joe, and he heads to the door – to find Melanie standing on the step, holding a cake shaped like a pig, covered with pink icing! She heads inside and asks Harold, Madge and Bronwyn what they think. Harold muses:
HAROLD: Yeah... well... it *is* unusual.
BRONWYN: Very different!
Madge just stands there grinning in bemusement! Melanie then says she was wondering whether she could get a lift, as she's got all her money box pigs outside. Harold smiles that it'll be his pleasure. Melanie turns to the door, adding as she does so that she's really proud of her cake: it's *so* cute! When she's gone, Harold, Bronwyn and Madge all struggle to contain their laughter at the pink pig!
Henry sits down with Joe at the kitchen table and asks him what the magazines are that he's looking at. Joe explains that it's research for the gardening talkback. Henry tells Joe that he's a star; a genuine celebrity! He goes on:
HENRY: Last night, I was at the radio station, right, and there's this ‘phone call from this new plant nursery. You know what this guy wants? He wants *you* to do the official opening.
JOE: What are you on about?
HENRY (grins): They want a big name, and you are it, Joe.
JOE: To do *what*?
HENRY: Nip round there at eleven, stand up and just declare the joint open.
JOE: *Me*?! Stand up there like a galah? No way!
Henry insists that it's easy, and so Joe tells *him* to do it. Henry adds that there's money in it. Joe looks suddenly more interested(!) and Henry explains that there are contras: Joe does something for this guy and *he* does something for *Joe*. Joe asks warily what*sort* of contras. Henry says:
HENRY: Depends on what you want – but they'll be good.
Henry adds that this guy was very, very impressed with Joe – and he owes it to his listeners. Joe muses:
JOE: Yeah... I suppose, when you put it like that...!
Todd, Lucy and Nick are putting dishes in the kitchen sink, making a lot of noise in the process. Jim comes in and asks them if they can keep things quiet, as Beverly's still asleep, having been up half the night with the baby. He then asks Lucy if she has any plans for the day. She glances at Nick before saying she thought she might just hang around the house. Jim tells her that Helen's volunteered to babysit, so when Beverly *does* finally wake up, he's going to take her for a round of golf – which brings him to his next subject: has anyone seen his golf shoes? Lucy tells him that she saw them in the garage when she was looking through some of her old stuff. The two of them head outside, leaving Nick and Todd alone. Todd says straight away;
TODD: Hey, um, mate... what gives with you and Luce?
NICK: What are you talking about?
TODD: I saw you last night – kissing...
NICK (coolly): So what's that got to do with *you*?
TODD: Well, you said yourself you wanted to play around. She's just a kid, mate.
NICK: Oh come on, it wasn't anything serious. It's no problem.
TODD: Yeah, well, people get hurt. *You* did with Sharon.
NICK (mutters): It's none of your business. Just back off.
Todd turns and walks away, leaving Nick looking annoyed.
People are thronging around the tables set up in the church hall. Bronwyn walks up to Melanie's table and buys the Sharon pig to send to her dad! Reverend Richards joins them and tells Melanie that the pigs are fantastic! Melanie holds up the Reverend Pig for him and he asks how much for it. Melanie, however, insists that it's his. A short way away, Madge hisses to Harold:
MADGE: Look at that.
MADGE: She wouldn't let him pay for it.
MADGE: *So*, he is judging the cake competition.
HAROLD: Doh! Honestly, Madge – you're paranoid.
Harold wanders off. Bronwyn joins Madge and tells her that she's tried all the cakes and *hers* is the best. At that moment, Reverend Richards walks up to the microphone at one end of the hall and says:
REVEREND RICHARDS: Er, ladies and gentlemen, I have an important announcement: the winner of our cake competition. Firstly, I'd like to thank all the competitors – you've made my task a difficult but tasty duty! Mrs. Kirby and Mrs. Bishop especially tendered superb entries, with one having perhaps a slight edge on the other; but I also felt obliged to give extra points for inventiveness and originality – and on those criteria, the winner is Miss. Melanie Pearson!
Melanie stands there looking astonished. Madge stands there with a grimace on her face!
A short time later, Melanie is having her photo taken with Reverend Richards as Bronwyn tells Madge that it's *her* award really. Madge mutters:
MADGE: That girl couldn't cook to save her *life*.
Reverend Richards ties a sash around Melanie and then tells everyone that it's on with the show! Hilary joins Harold, Madge and Bronwyn and muses that she supposes this is what Henry would term ‘an outsider'. Madge retorts that this is what Henry would call a ‘stacked deck'. Hilary suddenly spots Melanie's table of pigs and she picks up one with black hair, exclaiming that it's a truly hideous creation. Madge smiles:
MADGE: Doesn't it look familiar?
HILARY: Vaguely, yes, it does, now you mention it.
HAROLD (warns): Madge...
MADGE: Certainly reminds *me* of someone...!
Melanie walks over at that moment and says to Hilary brightly:
MELANIE: Oh, I see you've found your little piggy!
HILARY (blankly): Pardon?
Melanie explains that she modelled them on everyone in Ramsay Street. Hilary, looking put out, says quickly that they must all do their bit for the church, and she puts some money in Melanie's pot and grabs her pig and hides it in her bag! Melanie beams:
MELANIE: I think today must be my lucky day: I have sold every little piggy and I won the competition!
Madge stands there, steely-faced!
Todd arrives home from soccer training just as Jim heads out with his golf clubs. Lucy sees him off and then goes and sits down on the couch. Todd joins her and asks her if she's got a minute. He then goes on:
TODD: Look, I know you think Nick's fantastic – you always *have*.
LUCY: What are you talking about?
TODD: Well, he's one of the family – that's all I'm saying.
TODD: He's on the rebound on Sharon, and he's down on women. “Love ‘em and leave ‘em”: those were his words.
LUCY (snaps): Who said I care about Nick anyway? You're a real creep, Todd, you know that?
TODD: Look, I was just trying to—
LUCY: You're trying to cause trouble, that's what.
TODD: Fine. Suit yourself. It's your life.
LUCY: That's right: it *is* my life.
With that, Todd storms off, leaving Lucy looking upset.
Henry opens the front door to Joe and lets him in, asking as he does so how Mr. Personality is! Joe beams that he had them eating out of his hands! He adds that the contras are pretty good – and he takes out a plant pot containing a small cactus and tells him that it's called Herbert and it's for Henry! He then goes on that he's got a ute outside full of *real* plants – some of them very exotic. He continues:
JOE: I tell you what: this contra, that's class! That's only the *start*!
HENRY: How do you mean?
JOE: Well, any plants I want, they're mine. Gardening tools: warehouse prices.
HENRY: Oh, that's fantastic!
JOE: Yeah, mate, all I gotta do is whack a ute-load or two in the garden: instant showpiece.
Joe then asks Henry if he wants to help unload them, but Henry says a ‘phone call came in a while ago from one of their old customers who went off with Todd, and they're in a real jam. Joe tells him to let them rot. Henry exclaims:
HENRY: Are you serious?!
JOE: No, mate, no, no. Look, this public relations caper's really important. Ten years' time, mate, we'll have other blokes getting their hands dirty, making us rich. No probs.
HENRY: Right on!
Madge watches in annoyance as Reverend Richards hands Melanie a small box. She mutters at Harold:
MADGE: Look at that!
HAROLD: Well, perhaps they had some business to discuss?
MADGE: Yeah... how they fixed the cake competition. I don't know... poor Sarah Kirby: the woman's on her last legs; she may not even be *with* us next year.
HAROLD (looking bemused): You are *not* thinking of Mrs. Kirby and you know it!
MADGE (admits): Yeah, all right – but cheating makes me mad; it always has done. Fundamentally, I'm a very honest person.
The two of them suddenly hear Melanie let out one of her raucous laughs and Madge mutters:
MADGE: Trained seals are supposed to catch balls, not bake prize-winning cakes!
Harold sighs that Madge can be very intolerant at times. Madge just retorts:
MADGE: Do you wonder? That girl has got the body of a woman and the IQ of a canary!
Harold asks wearily if a cake is so important in the overall scheme of things. Madge retorts that, today, it was very important to *her*. Reverend Richards walks over at that moment and congratulates Madge on her cake, adding that he's just sorry there was only one first prize. Madge says tautly that, as a young Minister, he has to encourage the youth! Bronwyn joins them at that moment and comments that it's been a great morning. Madge suggests to Reverend Richards – who's holding the pig of himself – that he ought to put it away, as somebody might get the wrong idea. Reverend Richards, looking shocked, exclaims:
REVEREND RICHARDS: You don't think that people might think--; some sort of *bribe*?
HAROLD (quickly): Absolutely not.
MADGE: It crossed my mind, yes.
HAROLD (awkwardly): Ha ha! Madge will have these little jokes!
REVEREND RICHARDS: I can assure you: your cakes were on a par for taste and texture, but Melanie's got bonus points for originality.
MADGE: Of course...
REVEREND RICHARDS: Well, I'm glad we cleared up *that* little misunderstanding.
MADGE: Model pigs at home... pig money boxes... pig cakes... Oh yes, the girl certainly is original...
Lucy and Nick are in the kitchen. Nick asks if lunch is going to be long, but Lucy just mutters that Helen's trying to get the baby to sleep, so *she's* doing it. She then tells Nick that she was sorry about him and Sharon. Nick shrugs that that's ancient history. Lucy comments that it's hard when you're on the rebound. Nick asks tersely if Todd has been having a chat with her. Lucy shakes her head and says:
LUCY: I've just been thinking things over. I really like you, Nick, but if you don't feel the same way, I'd rather give it a miss.
NICK: Of *course* I really like you.
NICK (unconvincingly): Yeah, sure I do.
LUCY (beams): I *knew* you wouldn't be leading me on. I *can* trust you, can't I?
NICK: Of course you can. I just don't want to rush things, that's all.
Lucy smiles in relief. Nick then asks her if she wants to do something tonight. Lucy smiles happily:
LUCY: Would I what! Oh Nick, I'm so glad I came home these holidays!
Nick doesn't look so happy.
Henry and Joe arrive home and Henry smiles that that's another satisfied customer! Joe sighs that if he could just sort out Toby, he'd be one happy hombre! Henry asks what's up, and Joe explains that Lochy took him to this house she reckoned was haunted and how they reckon they've seen a ghost, and Toby's really spooked. The front door opens suddenly and Madge, Harold and Bronwyn arrive home, Madge snapping that she doesn't care what Harold said – it was favouritism. Henry asks what gives and Bronwyn explains about Melanie winning the cake competition. Henry smiles that it sounds like favouritism to *him*! Madge says she'd be willing to bet the Reverend is hooked on Melanie and doesn't even know it.
Jim is sitting on the couch, reading a magazine, when the front door opens and Todd comes in with his skateboard. He asks Jim if he knew Paul was back, as his car's out in the driveway. Jim, looking surprised, goes and peers out the window, commenting that surely Paul would have ‘phoned to say he was coming. He asks Todd if he saw any movement, as Gail may be with him and they don't want to be disturbed. Todd says he doesn't know. Jim says he'll pop over later and see what's happening. Nick and Lucy emerge from the kitchen at that moment and Nick asks Jim if the two of them can go ice-skating tonight. Jim looks at Lucy and remarks:
JIM: The last time I mentioned ice-skating, you weren't the least bit interested.
LUCY: I've changed my mind, that's all!
Jim tells them not to be home too late. Lucy thanks him and she and Nick return to the kitchen. Todd glowers at them as they do so.
Melanie and the Reverend Richards have turned up at No. 30. As she lets them in, Hilary says she's afraid Sharon isn't home. Melanie, however, tells her that they thought she might like some cake. The Reverend adds that they seem to have quite a lot left over! Hilary comments:
HILARY: The loaves and fishes, eh?
MELANIE: No, chocolate cake – underneath the pink stuff!
Hilary invites her visitors to stay for afternoon tea. Melanie makes herself comfy on the couch and asks if Hilary could do a hot chocolate and just a weenie slice of cake. Hilary nods coolly:
HILARY: Of course.
She goes off to get the drinks, leaving the Reverend to say to Melanie:
REVEREND RICHARDS: Melanie, I'd really like to thank you for all your efforts: your enthusiasm was a great asset to us.
MELANIE: Oh yeah! I bet you say that to *all* the girls!
REVEREND RICHARDS: Not at all!
MELANIE: You know, you're kind of cute, Rev! Oh – I shouldn't have said that, should I?!
REVEREND RICHARDS: Oh no, it's OK! I think people should be honest about their feelings.
MELANIE: Oh no, I meant about calling you ‘Rev' – it's not really very respectful, is it?
REVEREND RICHARDS (his face dropping): Oh.
MELANIE: What *is* your real name, by the way?
REVEREND RICHARDS: Craig – but I don't mind you calling me ‘Rev'.
REVEREND RICHARDS: I kind of like it!
MELANIE: Okey dokey, Rev!
REVEREND RICHARDS: I was wondering...
REVEREND RICHARDS: Would you like to go out with me sometime – to the pictures or something?
MELANIE: You're very young, aren't you?
REVEREND RICHARDS: I'm sorry?
MELANIE: Oh, no need to apologise! – it's just that I usually go out with *older* men.
REVEREND RICHARDS: Ah.
MELANIE: But I suppose, being a Reverend, I think that would make you more mature – don't you?
REVEREND RICHARDS: Is that a yes or a no?
MELANIE: It's a yes! When do you want to go?
REVEREND RICHARDS: Well, would tonight be too short notice?
MELANIE: No, tonight would be great! I was supposed to be going out with this other guy, but he's a real octopus, you know: arms everywhere!
REVEREND RICHARDS: Well, I can assure you I'm not like that—
MELANIE: You know, I've not been out with a Reverend before! Boy, some of the things I get up to!
The Reverend sits there looking bemused!
Jim crosses the street from outside No. 22, joining Joe outside No. 32 and commenting that he's got some nice-looking plants there. Joe replies that he needs them if a bloke's going to crack the gardening competition. Jim then comments that he supposes Joe didn't happen to see Paul? Joe, however, explains that he just came out. Jim crosses the road back to No. 26. Joe wanders over to his ute. Bouncer is in the back and Joe tells him:
JOE: You listen to me: this here is top-of-the-pops merchandise – now, you stay off it, you with me? No diggy, no touchy, no way. Good dog!
Paul opens the front door to Jim and lets him in. The two of them shake hands and Jim asks Paul why he didn't ‘phone to say when he was coming back? Paul shrugs that he didn't really know until the last minute himself. Jim spots a handbag on the couch and smiles:
JIM: Gail's here! You managed to sort things out. I'm really thrilled for you. Where is she?
Paul doesn't respond. Jim asks in concern:
JIM: Is there something wrong?
At that moment, a young woman appears on the stairs. She's wearing a robe and her hair is wrapped in a towel. Jim looks at her. Paul says awkwardly:
PAUL: Er, this isn't really a good time to talk at the moment, dad. Look, how about I catch you later, eh?
Jim walks off, looking annoyed. Paul stands there looking slightly worried.