Joe realising he has a lisp – just as he's about to guest on Henry's radio show!
Helen opens the front door to Matt and invites him in. He asks her how she is, and she tells him that she's enjoying being a surrogate grandmother – she indicates Rhys and explains about Beverly looking after him. She then asks Matt what she can do for him. He explains that he's got to do an assignment at school on cultural differences and, seeing as Helen's done a lot of travelling, thought she might have some books or brochures he can borrow. Helen goes to the desk drawer to have a look. As she does so, she asks Matt how he's coping with his studies. He sighs:
MATT: Um... OK. I can't seem to get very excited about schoolwork, though.
HELEN: You still going to remedial classes?
MATT: Yeah. Yeah. They help with the dyslexia, but I still fall behind at school.
HELEN (remarks): I thought *Hilary* might be a help...
MATT (muses): She tries...
MATT: Oh, well, you know: she's got ideas and expectations all of her own, and if one doesn't live up to them, then...
HELEN: You feel the pressure?
Helen then asks about Sharon. Matt says she's been preoccupied with Nick being in hospital – and he'd rather do it himself anyway. He then asks how Nick's *doing*. Helen tells him that the danger's passed, but he's still on intravenous antibiotics. With that, Rhys starts grizzling and Helen picks him up and takes him off to the bedroom area for a nap.
Radio station studio/No. 24
Henry says to Joe:
HENRY: Well, I suppose you were interested in gardening as a child?
JOE (whose lisp has quickly disappeared!): Oh, yes, yes, um, I've been gardening and planting trees ever since I was in my nappies.
Henry gives Joe a look! He then says:
HENRY: And you haven't stopped since?
JOE: No, no, no. Oh, maybe for the old cold one, now and again!
Henry then says they have a caller on the line. Harold's voice comes on and says:
HAROLD: Hello, yes, yes. I am a keen, but I might say successful, gardener in the Erinsborough district.
JOE: Good-o. What's the prob?
HAROLD: Well, I have a small attack of aphids on my Morning Glory.
Joe frowns and looks as though he's struggling to suggest what to do about them, and he looks at Henry for help. Henry suggests quickly that Harold might use a spray. Harold comments that it would have to be environmentally safe. Joe starts to say:
JOE: I would recommend that you use...
He breaks off again, looking lost. Henry says after a brief pause that they're not allowed to mention brand names on air. Joe tells Harold that he should find an insecticide specifically designed for aphids on your Morning Glory – and check for bottles marked ‘Environmentally Safe'. He asks if that's OK.
HAROLD (mutters): Thank you, yes, I don't know what I would've done without you!
Joe warns Harold to be careful, as he knows someone who put weed-killer on their plants once... Henry gives Joe another look! Henry then asks Harold if he has any more questions. Harold, who has a gardening book in front of him, leafs through it and then asks a question using the Latin names of plants. Joe just sits there looking lost! Harold grins naughtily!
No. 32/Radio station studio
Toby and Kerry are listening in the kitchen as Joe tells Harold that that's a very good question, but a little too technical to answer on-air – but if Harold was to write to him, he'd be only too happy to tell him what he can do with his plants! Kerry and Toby burst out laughing! Toby says he wishes Joe would let him go and watch him on the radio. Kerry comments that he might have done if Toby hadn't gone running away from the dentist. Toby sighs that he couldn't help it. Kerry, however, insists that if his tooth keeps playing up, he'll have to have it seen to.
Radio station studio
Henry asks the listeners again to call in – but the ‘phone refuses to ring!
Matt thanks Helen for her help and gets up to leave. As he does so, Helen tells him that *Kerry's* been to Europe recently and she's sure she'll have some wonderful experiences to share with him. Matt nods that he'll go and see her tomorrow.
Radio station studio
It's sometime later, and Joe finishes dispensing more advice. Henry then tells the listeners that the ‘phone is running hot, and he takes another call. A well-spoken woman's voice comes on and says:
WOMAN: Hello. I'd like to say it's about *time* we had someone like you on community radio.
JOE: Very decent of you, ma'am. How can I help you?
WOMAN: Damned cabbage moths.
Joe asks the woman if they're eating her cabbages. The woman says they are. She asks what she can do about them. Joe suggests she use companion planting: she has to plant the right things next to her cabbages. The woman asks what sort of things he means, but he struggles to answer. All of a sudden, though, he tells the woman that instead of him telling *her*, they'll have a competition: the first person to write in will win a magnificent prize and they'll read out the answer next week. He asks the woman if that's OK and she murmurs that she supposes so! Henry starts to wrap up the gardening slot, but Joe interrupts him and says:
JOE: Hang on, Henry. I think my listeners would be very interested to hear what I've got to say about the veggie garden in general – because it's a wonderful world, the vegetable—
Joe carries on talking, not realising that Henry has started playing a record and has wrapped up the show! When Joe finally discovers that he's no longer live, he tells Henry enthusiastically that this show may translate to the telly – or to a book or three!
The next morning, Henry is standing in the kitchen with Harold, enthusing about his show and how popular ‘Down to Earth' was yesterday: Joe was a total hit. Harold points out that *he* helped, but Henry tells him that they had lots of legitimate callers too. Harold mutters that that's all very well, but he did not like being held to blackmail over Jim's azaleas and Henry's diary. Henry insists quickly that he really does appreciate what Harold did – and as a matter of fact, he has *another* small favour to ask... Harold asks suspiciously what it is. Henry hands him some sheets of paper and Harold reads aloud the printing on the top one:
HAROLD: “Ramsay-Mangel. The ‘Down to Earth' gardeners' radio personality, Henry Ramsay, presents, live in your garden, Joe the Gardener, as heard on Erinsborough Community Radio.
HENRY: Classy, eh?!
Henry then asks Harold if he'll help him distribute the leaflets. Harold, however, says quickly that he plans on keeping this weekend *free* for once.
Ramsay Street/Front yard of No. 26
A short time later, Harold is putting leaflets through the letterboxes in Ramsay Street! Helen is doing some gardening in the front yard of No. 26 when Harold spots her and says hello. Helen smiles awkwardly that she just thought she'd take advantage of some leisure time. Harold asks her what she's doing. Helen, however, says:
HELEN: I don't know if I should tell you!
HELEN: Well, we wouldn't want you copying, would we, the way you did with Jim's border plants...
HAROLD: Ah, now, that was an unhappy coincidence. I do have original thoughts of my own, you know! As a matter of fact, I'm in the final planning stages of something that'll make our garden quite unique in Erinsborough.
HELEN: Oh, how exciting. What is it?
HAROLD (chuckles): Ah, that *would* be telling, wouldn't it, eh?
HELEN: Yes, indeed it would, and that would *never* do!
HAROLD: I'm glad we understand each other!
With that, Harold hands Helen one of Henry's leaflets and continues walking round the street!
Matt is doing his homework in the lounge room, with music playing loudly. He manages to hear a knock on the front door, though, and goes and opens it to Kerry. They head into the lounge room and Kerry tells Matt that she's come to get him excited about Europe! Matt explains that he thought she could relate to him some of her experiences and he could back it up with info. from travel brochures and stuff. Kerry, however, tells him that it's the *people* that matter, not what appears in some glossy magazine. She starts telling him about some of the people she met in Greece, the treks she went on, the ruins she saw, the fruit she ate... Matt listens intently. Kerry then starts talking about Greek dancing, and she stands up to give him a demonstration! Matt watches and then gets up and joins her! The two of them whirl around the room together!
Toby takes a packet of Disprin down from the kitchen shelf and goes to run a glass of water at the sink. There's suddenly a knock on the back door and it opens and Lochy comes in, wearing normal clothes. Toby smiles that he didn't recognise her without a dress! She asks if he wants to come out and muck around. Toby tells her that he just wants to fix his toothache first. He pops a Disprin into the glass of water – just as Joe comes in and asks him what he's up to. Toby tries to hide the Disprin packet and he tells Joe guiltily:
Joe spots the packet, though, and, walking over and grabbing it, says sternly:
JOE: Nothing, eh? Toby, I *never* want you to take pills – not without permission from me or Kerry. You understand?
Toby nods his head meekly. Joe asks him if his tooth is still aching. Toby admits that it is a bit, and Joe tells him that he's going to the dentist first thing Monday. Toby asks if he'll have to go if it stops hurting. Joe just tells him that he's going to get all his teeth checked and fixed if necessary. He adds:
JOE: And I'm going to stay right there with you – because you let me down yesterday, Toby. I mean, if *I'm* brave enough to go through with it, you should be too. Monday.
Toby looks at Lochy meekly.
Kerry is sitting with Matt in the lounge room as he tells her that her stories are great, but he just doesn't know how to use them in an essay. Kerry suggests that he make up a fictitious journal of someone travelling through Europe – based on her experiences – and she'll help. Matt smiles:
MATT: Yeah – like a second-hand first-hand experience!
MATT: Yeah, well, it'll be a lot of writing.
KERRY: Sure – but it'll be fun, I promise!
Matt sits there, looking thoughtful.
Front yard of No. 32
Toby is sitting in his billy cart as Lochy rides round on her bike. She tells Toby that they should go and ride on the footpath, but he tells her he doesn't feel like it. Lochy points out that it'll take his mind off his toothache. Toby just retorts that it won't take his mind off the *dentist*. Lochy says suddenly:
LOCHY: Hey! If your tooth wasn't there, you wouldn't have to go, would you?
LOCHY: Well, my dad says he pulled a tooth out once by tying a bit of string to it, then tying the other end to a doorknob. Slam the door shut and the tooth came out!
TOBY (nervously): What if the string broke?
LOCHY: You've gotta use strong string!
With that, Lochy climbs off her bike and says there's no one home, so they should go inside and try it. Toby says warily that he doesn't think they've got any string... Lochy just grabs his arm and starts pulling him towards the front door! They suddenly hear Kerry approaching, though, and she heads into the house. Toby shrugs in relief that he guesses they'll have to forget about their plans. Lochy, however, tells him that she's got a Plan B!
Henry is sitting watching golf on TV. Joe is with him and he muses:
JOE: Maybe I should grow a beard, you know, and dress more like a gardener?
HENRY: It's radio, Joe, not television!
JOE: Ah yeah, for *now*, but who knows, eh?
Joe looks at the TV and comments that the putting green looks like it could do with some blood-and-bone! The front door opens and Harold comes in. He looks less than impressed as he tells Henry and Joe that he's delivered *his* half of the leaflets, so when do they intend doing theirs? Henry murmurs that it'll be soon. Harold says tersely that it's more important to watch television than to build up the business, is it? Joe replies quickly:
JOE: This is research, Harold. We're actually studying the growth rate of various golf course grasses!
HENRY: It wouldn't surprise me if that in fact made the TV set tax-deductible, Joe!
Harold, looking annoyed, mutters that he's going to change into his gardening clothes. As he heads to his room, Joe calls after him:
JOE: Make sure you check the labels on your spray!
Harold turns back to him and retorts that, regardless of what Henry's leaflets say, he intends to get along *without* their professional help – especially having seen the run-down condition of No. 32's back yard since Jane left. Joe glares at him and says:
JOE: What you amateurs don't seem to understand is that all gardens need a rest now and again. I'm just letting it lie fallow. Just a little professional tip for you, Harry.
HAROLD: Oh really? Yes. Well, perhaps you would be professional enough to enter your back yard in the local gardening competition...?
JOE: Sounds like a challenge to *me*.
HAROLD: It *is*.
JOE: All right – you're on!
Harold stands there looking smug. He then heads to his room. When he's gone, Henry looks at Joe and comments his back yard *is* a bit rundown. Joe just shrugs that it's nothing his green fingers won't fix. Henry then asks him how he feels about delivering some leaflets. Joe, however, says he's sorry: his garden's been lying fallow a bit too long!
Front yard of No. 32
Lochy has found some string and is tying it round Toby's tooth. Toby suggests he should wait ‘til Monday, but Lochy tells him that this will work better than the doorknob – and it'll save Joe money. Toby asks nervously if she's sure she's got the right tooth. She tells him that of course she has. Having tied up the tooth, she attaches the other end of the string to her bike! She then tells Toby to hang on to the pole he's standing next to and it'll all be over in a split second. Toby grabs the pole, and Lochy climbs onto her bike and starts riding. The string takes up the tension. Toby stands there with a grimace on his face...