Joe confronting Nick and Todd after discovering they're the rival gardeners. Nick grabbing a shovel and warning Joe angrily that if he comes any closer, he'll smash his face in.
Joe holds out his hand in a gesture of pacification and tells Nick that there's no need for this aggro. Kerry tells Nick to put the shovel down – no one's going to hurt him. Nick, looking suddenly shocked at his behaviour, murmurs that he's sorry – he didn't mean it. He looks at Todd, throws down the shovel and walks off down the road. When he's gone, Joe asks in shock:
JOE: What's eating him, Todd?
TODD: I don't know. He's been like that for a couple of days. He wouldn't hit you or anything; he's just in a bad mood.
JOE (exclaims): Bad mood? Strike *me*! Hate to see him when he *really* got going. I'm going to have to talk to Jim about this before that kid does real damage.
Todd stands there looking worried.
It's evening-time. Nick is sitting at the kitchen table as Jim paces the floor, demanding:
JIM: Well? What have you got to say for yourself?
NICK (shrugs): I'm sorry. I lost my temper.
Jim comments that losing your temper is one thing, but attacking Joe with a shovel... Nick retorts that he *didn't* attack him. Beverly chips in that she doesn't know what's got into him recently. Jim tells Nick that he's going to apologise personally to Joe in the morning and he's grounded for a week – and he'll have to think about the gardening later. He then tells Nick to get to his room. Nick stands up sullenly and walks off. Jim then snaps at Todd:
JIM: I understand that you were responsible for the gardening idea. What possessed you to go into opposition to Henry and Joe?
TODD: It's not *like* that. When they were on holiday, some of their customers rang up Harold wanting some lawns done – so he asked me and Nick to do them, that's all.
JIM: But Joe says you're stealing their customers.
TODD: We charged a little bit less – and some of them even reckon that we do the lawns *better*.
Jim looks at Beverly. He then tells Todd more calmly that he supposes he can't punish him for showing enterprise, so he can continue with the gardening. Beverly warns him that he's not to take any more of Joe's clients. Todd accepts this and walks off to his room. When he's gone, Jim asks:
JIM: What are you supposed to do when a kid turns into a thug?
HELEN: He's very upset about this break with Sharon.
JIM: Yeah, well, being upset's one thing – but turning into a hooligan?
Kerry is talking on the ‘phone. She hangs up and joins Joe and Toby in the lounge room, telling them that that was the first enrolment in the Kerry Bishop Child-Minding Service! She adds:
KERRY: A Mrs. Petra McLachlan. She advertised in the Erinsborough News for someone to look after her little girl after school, so I'm going to go over in the morning and meet her.
Joe asks her if she's sure she still wants to do this, as she doesn't need to now that they know it's Todd and Nick that's been pinching their business. Kerry, however, insists that she wants to: she has to be there for Toby and Sky anyway, and Toby will enjoy having someone else to play with. Toby asks:
TOBY: What's her name?
TOBY (sniggers): What a dumb name!
KERRY (retorts): It's a *good* name. She's about your age. It'll just be like having Katie back.
TOBY (dismissively): I doubt it.
Joe tells Toby that it'll do him good to have a new playmate – and it'll keep him off the ‘phone to Adelaide! There's suddenly a knock on the front door, and Kerry goes and answers it to find Des on the step, with Jamie. They come inside and Des announces that they've dropped round to say goodbye, as they're off to London tomorrow. Kerry asks in concern if something's wrong, but Des assures her:
DES: The opposite. Jamie has decided he wants a mum, so, um, I'm getting married!
Kerry looks at Joe in astonishment and then exclaims that that's great: Jane must be over the moon! Joe shakes Des's hand in congratulations! Des explains:
DES: I thought: ‘Why hang around? Why go through all that nerve-wracking preparation again? Let's just do it!'
JOE: That Melanie must've really put the wind up you, eh?!
DES: No. No way. I just thought there's been enough delays.
He then goes on that he wants no more rumours being spread, and he asks everyone to watch what they say. Kerry asks what *Jane* said when he told her he was coming over. Des, however, admits that he hasn't exactly told her yet – it's going to be a bit of a surprise. Kerry looks at Joe warily. Des just stands there smiling happily, oblivious to their obvious concerns!
The next morning, Henry is sitting at the kitchen table, looking at some papers. Bronwyn sits down with him and asks if it's interesting reading. Henry sighs that it's the annual report of the Erinsborough Marching Girls Association! He adds that it's research for the radio programme. Bronwyn remarks that it sounds riveting! Henry tells her:
HENRY: We've got all the latest from the Orchard Growers' Society and the council press release on new street signs in Elliott Park!
Bronwyn frowns and asks if *all* the programmes are like this. Henry tells her that today they have a special guest live in the studio: Dorothy Medwell, who collects buttons! Bronwyn sniggers:
BRONWYN: You mean buttons as in badges with slogans on them?
HENRY: No. Buttons. As in buttons. Ordinary buttons – like ‘button up your lip', ‘button up your overcoat', buster!
He then groans:
HENRY: How am I going to make this stuff sound exciting, Bron?
Bronwyn tells him to give it the same pizzazz he did on his audition tape. Henry, however, sighs that he thought they'd want him to do a really hip show; this stuff just isn't his style. Bronwyn points out that they hired him *because* of his style; they're probably hoping he'll make all of this boring stuff sound exciting. Henry asks her if she'll be listening. Bronwyn smiles that she's told the entire street to tune in – plus everyone at tech and the customers at the Coffee Shop. Henry murmurs:
HENRY: Ah. Good.
Bronwyn says she thought he'd *want* everyone to hear. Henry, looking less than convinced, murmurs that of course he does...
Driveway of No. 26
Jim and Beverly emerge from No. 26, Jim asking Beverly if she'll have a busy day at the surgery. Beverly just replies that she has house calls this morning. Jim says he's working at the office at Lassiter's all day today, and he offers to bring something home for dinner. Beverly shrugs that he can if he likes – she shouldn't be too late home. Jim sighs and says curtly:
JIM: Beverly, how long are you going to keep this up? I mean, you've made your point, I've said I'm sorry; what more can I *do*?
BEVERLY (angrily): You badger me into betraying a professional confidence and now, when my career is at stake, a simple ‘sorry' is enough to absolve you of responsibility? Well, forgive me, but it's just not good enough.
Jim points out that Clive said she's certain to get a simple caution; it's not as if she'll be struck off. Beverly, however, asks about her reputation, reminding Jim that word does get round. With that, she climbs into her car and starts the engine. Jim spots Joe heading over from across the street, and he asks what's up. Joe explains that he thought he'd pop over and see what the upshot of yesterday's little fracas was. Jim tells him that he can rest assured that Nick has been dealt with. Joe suggests that the kids might find a paper round, something like that. Jim, however, retorts:
JIM: Hang on a second, Joe – I didn't say I'd stop them gardening.
JOE (gasps): *What* did you say?
JIM: Well, I can't see they've done anything *wrong* there, except show a bit of initiative. You can't punish them for *that*.
JOE: What about me and Henry?
JIM: Well, for a start, *you* could start to tell the difference between weed-killer and insecticide!
JOE: Oh *that*? Oh come on, be reasonable, Jim!
Joe offers to get Jim some new azaleas – and a year's supply of fertiliser – and a free gum tree! He adds:
JOE: Anything! Just get those kids off my back or I'll be ruined.
JIM (shrugs): It might teach you to be more *careful* in future.
With that, he walks off, leaving Joe sighing heavily.
Reception area at the Robinson Corporation
Helen is playing with Jamie as Des gives instructions to Jim on how to keep the Robinson Corporation running. He adds his appreciation for him and Helen agreeing to do this at such short notice. Helen says she's sure she and Jim can cope until Paul gets back. Des mutters:
DES: Well, you've always got Melanie!
The ‘phone starts ringing and Helen goes to answer it. Jim asks Des how long he's going to be away, but Des says he doesn't know. Jim offers to keep an eye on his house, but Des tells him that Clive's moving in for a bit, house-sitting. Helen hangs up the ‘phone and says:
HELEN: That was the school: Nick's been sent home sick. I think I'd better go and check on him.
JIM: What's wrong?
HELEN: Bad headache and nausea. If it's serious, I'd better let Beverly know.
She then kisses Des, tells him to give her love to Jane and wishes him luck with the wedding plans. With that, she heads out. Jim grins at Des that it's a bit like he's eloping! Des smiles:
DES: Yeah, I guess so – but I couldn't stand waiting any more, mate. It's either now or never.
JIM: Well, I hope it all works out fine for you this time.
Joe is standing with Henry in the kitchen, sighing that Jim sure knows how to twist the knife; he's got a good mind to spray his trees and lawns with weed-killer as well! Henry mutters that what gets *him* is how Nick and Todd managed to knock off so many of their regular clients. Joe tells him that they must have blitzed the whole neighbourhood – housewives are a soft touch for two fresh-faced kids with innocent smiles! Henry muses:
HENRY: Yeah, well, we're no competition *there*, are we? Look at us: frowny-faced sour-sods! What we need's a gimmick – a way to attract the customers back.
JOE: Like what?
HENRY (admits): Don't know.
Kerry arrives home and says she's just met Petra McLachlan and she seems really nice. She's holding the mail and comments that they're all window envelopes – except for one addressed to Mrs. Mangel. Joe tells her that it might be for *her*, and he suggests she open it. As she does so, Henry heads out to load up the ute. Kerry tells Joe that the letter *must* be for his mum as it's from the Erinsborough News – something about a ‘Dear Georgette' column. Joe grins:
JOE: Mum used to do that column! Advice for the heartbroken – that sort of thing.
KERRY (exclaims in astonishment): Your *mother* did that?
JOE: Yeah – it was a recipe for disaster!
Kerry tells him that the paper wants to revive it! Joe exclaims that they must be desperate! – and with his mum crook and overseas, they're out of luck anyway. With that, he heads off to work, leaving Kerry standing in the kitchen with a thoughtful smile on her face...
Nick is sitting on the couch, his head resting on his hand. Helen arrives home and exclaims that he looks dreadful. Nick tells her that he felt sick when he got to school, and he had a headache, then he started throwing up, so Mr. Lee gave him a lift home. Helen feels his forehead and gasps that he's burning: Beverly must have a look at him. Nick says there's no need to make a fuss, but Helen retorts that they'll leave that to *Beverly* to decide. She goes to the ‘phone.
Toby is using a cricket bat to hit a ball gently around the lounge room. Kerry is tidying up around him and she suggests he get some magic tricks ready to show Tiffany. Toby, though, says she probably wouldn't be interested. Kerry tells him that they could help each other with their homework, but Toby points out that they go to different schools. He then asks:
TOBY: Why doesn't she go to *my* school?
KERRY: Well, she goes to a private school.
TOBY (mutters): I bet she's a snob.
KERRY: Toby, that's not very nice. Come on – it'll be *fun* having someone to play with after school. You can do all the things you used to do with Katie.
TOBY: Katie isn't *like* other girls – she isn't just into dolls and stuff.
KERRY: Come on – give it a chance, that's all.
There's suddenly a knock on the front door and Kerry goes to answer it. Mrs. McLachlan steps inside and says she thought she'd better deliver her daughter herself today and show her the way, although she can walk from school now she knows where to come. With that, she turns round and says:
MRS. MCLACHLAN: Say hello to Kerry, darling.
A girl of about nine years old steps inside. She's wearing a blue frilly dress and holding a white cardigan and she says to Kerry politely:
TIFFANY: Hello. Pleased to meet you.
KERRY: Pleased to meet you too, Tiffany.
In the lounge room, Toby pulls a face and silently mimics the words ‘pleased to meet you'! Mrs. McLachlan tells Tiffany to be a good girl, then says she'd better get back to work. She heads off. Kerry escorts Tiffany into the lounge room and says:
KERRY: Tiffany, this is Toby.
TIFFANY: Hello Toby.
Toby just looks Tiffany up and down, derisively!
Radio station studio/No. 24
Henry is on air. He cues up a record then starts his patter, telling his listeners enthusiastically that he's got the round-up of what's on in Erinsborough this weekend. Joe and Bronwyn are listening in the kitchen at No. 24. Henry goes on that a little later in the programme, he'll be talking to local historian, Percy Somerville, authoring of ‘Discovering Erinsborough'! An advert then starts. At No. 24, Joe grins at Bronwyn:
JOE: *That* should have everyone glued to their trannies! Oh dear, oh dear. Historical walks? I mean, what's the oldest building in Erinsborough? Gino's Pizza Palace? And that's been here since, what, 1958 at least!
Bronwyn says she's sure the whole programme isn't this boring. Joe, however, tells her that he wouldn't have missed that bit with Dottie and her button for quids! The advert finishes and Henry announces:
HENRY: Now to what's on at the Erinsborough Community Health Centre this weekend. There are free classes throughout Saturday: Calisthenics at 1pm, Bonsai for Beginners at 2pm and Self Defence for Senior Citizens at 3:00. Then, at four, there's a special meeting for the local chapter of Gamblers Anonymous – but thankfully it's Bingo as usual Saturday night. And after this next record, we have a special guest from the Community Health Centre, with disturbing details of... [a look of horror crosses Henry's face] ... lice infestations in Erinsborough schools.
With that, Henry puts on the record. He then takes off his headphones and sits back and squeezes the bridge of his nose, looking agonised!
Tiffany is sitting in an armchair in the lounge room while Toby sits across from her. Kerry is standing at the table by the window. Toby asks Tiffany what her school's like. She shrugs that it's OK. Toby says his is OK too. Toby asks what her teacher's like. Tiffany replies that she's OK. Toby tells her that so is his. Kerry offers them both some sandwiches, and she leaves the room. As soon as she's gone, Tiffany mutters:
TIFFANY: I'm bored. What's there to do round this place, anyway?
TOBY: We could watch TV.
TIFFANY (sarcastically): Oh wow.
TOBY: I can do magic tricks.
TIFFANY (disbelieving): Sure!
TOBY: I *can*. Want me to show you some?
TIFFANY: I bet you can't saw someone in half.
TOBY: No – but I once turned Mrs. Bishop's pool purple.
TIFFANY: I bet.
TOBY: I *did* too.
TIFFANY: I'd like to turn *our* pool purple – just before one of our pool parties!
TOBY: I could show you how!
TIFFANY (suddenly interested): Yeah?
Tiffany spots the cricket bat Toby was playing with earlier and asks if he can play cricket. Toby retorts that of course he can. He asks Tiffany if *she* can, and she replies yes. She asks Toby if he wants to play. Toby asks if she won't get her dress dirty. Tiffany shrugs:
TIFFANY: Who cares? I hate it! Mum always makes me wear it when I have to make a good impression.
Toby laughs. He then calls to Kerry:
TOBY: I'm just going out to play cricket with Tiffany.
Tiffany, however, snaps:
TIFFANY: Don't call me 'Tiffany'.
TOBY: Why not?
TIFFANY: ‘Cos it sucks!
TOBY: Well, what am I *supposed* to call you?
TIFFANY: Just Lochy. That's what my friends call me at school. ‘McLachlan' – ‘Lochy'. You get it?
Toby nods. Lochy adds:
LOCHY: *Anything's* better than ‘Tiffany'.
She then pretends to stick her finger in her mouth and vomit!
Helen is talking on the ‘phone to Beverly, asking if she didn't get the message. She explains about Nick and says she thinks Beverly should have a look at him. She hangs up and tells Nick – who hasn't moved from the couch – that she's on her way. Nick just sighs heavily.
The front door opens and Henry comes in. Joe and Bronwyn join him and Joe beams:
JOE: Here he is, eh, the big star – but will he remember *us*, the little people?!
HENRY (grins): Show me a footpath, I'll show you some handprints! No autographs, please!
He then calms down and asks for the ugly truth: he was terrible, right? Bronwyn, however, exclaims that he was fantastic. Henry sighs:
HENRY: The programme's nerd city, isn't it? Bowls... bingo... all that boring stuff.
Joe laughs that it was very interesting – he didn't realise Erinsborough was such a hive of activity! Bronwyn points out to Henry that it wasn't very interesting material, and that's not *his* fault. Henry sighs that it's his job to make it *sound* exciting. Bronwyn, however, says warily that she doubts he could make *any* of that sound exciting. Henry groans:
HENRY: I'm *never* going to get noticed doing that stuff.
BRONWYN: You don't *know* that.
HENRY: I thought I'd be doing something worthwhile, you know? Being able to show people what I can do.
Bronwyn asks if he can't cut down on the boring bits and do something else. Henry tells her that his boss said he welcomed new ideas. Bronwyn declares:
BRONWYN: There you go: you can change the programme to suit your style.
JOE: Yeah, mate – *anything* would be an improvement!
HENRY: Any ideas?
JOE: Um... you could blow up the Erinsborough bingo hall, for a start!
Bronwyn suggests finding some more interesting guests. Henry, however, sighs that interesting people don't want to be interviewed on community radio: that's why they get stuck with Dorothy Medwell and her buttons! Joe then suggests:
JOE: What about talkback?
HENRY: No... *everyone* does talkback.
BRONWYN: But not on *community* radio.
Henry begins to look interested, and he muses:
HENRY: Yes... ‘Rap with Henry – the outrageous rager who'll rock your radio!' Why not?!
Nick is still sitting on the couch, looking unwell. Todd is sitting opposite him, grinning that this was a sneaky way to get out of school! Beverly arrives home and asks how the patient is. Helen replies that he's no better. Beverly asks Nick where it hurts. He tells her that it's his head, mainly. Beverly asks:
BEVERLY: Front or back?
NICK: All over.
BEVERLY: And when did this headache start?
NICK: Um... this morning – but I've had a few headaches in the last few days.
BEVERLY: Why didn't you *say* something? Let's have a look at your throat. Open wide.
Helen chips in that he's been vomiting. Beverly asks:
BEVERLY: Since when?
NICK: This morning.
BEVERLY: Right. Let's have a proper look. Can you stand up for me?
Nick goes to stand up – but as he does so, he collapses and lands on the floor, unconscious. Beverly quickly shines a small light into his eyes, checking for a reaction. She then says in an urgent tone:
BEVERLY: Helen, call an ambulance – it's serious.