Henry having a sack put over his head from behind as he walks home from his and Joe's buck's night.
The next morning, Madge serves Harold with breakfast at the kitchen table as Bronwyn emerges from the bedroom area and asks if either of them have seen Henry, as she doesn't think he came home. Harold says he'd imagine that Henry would be over at Joe's, getting ready for the wedding. Bronwyn mutters that she hopes they didn't pull some kind of buck's night prank on him. Madge assures her:
MADGE: Henry can be a little bit old-fashioned, you know? He probably stayed at Des or Joe's because he thought it was bad luck to see the bride on her wedding day.
Harold says he thought he heard Henry come home, although it could have been a possum on the roof. Madge insists that he's probably at Des or Joe's, probably nursing a hangover. Bronwyn remarks that he must have been pretty paralytic if he couldn't make it across the street to bed. Harold muses that a man can do strange things on his wedding day! There's suddenly a knock on the front door and Bronwyn goes and answers it to Sharon, who beams:
SHARON: Hi! Are you as excited as I am?!
BRONWYN (seriously): I will be as soon as I know where Henry is.
Sharon asks what's happened to him. The two of them head through to the kitchen, where Sharon hands over a set of keys that she found outside. Bronwyn exclaims that they're Henry's: he *must* have come home. Harold says he *told* them he heard something. Sharon asks what's happened. Bronwyn says:
BRONWYN: We're not sure – but I know Clive was planning something for *Joe* last night; it's pretty obvious he's pulled some kind of stunt on Henry too. If he messes up my wedding day, I'll kill him...
Clive is still lying asleep on the floor at Des's, Bouncer beside him(!), when the ‘phone starts ringing. He staggers to his feet, but just pushes the handset off the hook! Des emerges from his bedroom and goes to pick it up. Jane comes on and Des asks her happily how she is. He listens and then tells her about how they've just had a bit of a party for Joe and Henry. He listens further and tells Jane that he wishes she was there too. He listens again and says:
DES: There's nothing to be sorry *about*, OK? How's your nan? ... That's good. Yeah... you have a happy wedding day too. Yeah. Right. Thanks for calling and come home soon, will you? I love you. Bye.
Des hangs up and Clive asks him gently if he's OK. Des nods that he just realised again how much he's missing her – especially today; but he's going to try and have a good time. There's a knock on the front door suddenly and Des goes to answer it as Clive begins tidying up the house. Des finds Bronwyn standing on the front step, and he comments in surprise that he thought she'd be relaxing in a hot bath! Bronwyn asks in concern if Henry's there. Des just replies that he wishes he *was*: he could help them clear up the mess! Bronwyn steps inside and, looking around, asks in astonishment what happened! She then asks Des and Clive if Henry was in as bad a condition as the two of *them*, but they assure her quickly that he wasn't: he kept himself real nice! Bronwyn asks what time he left. Clive and Des both tell her that it was probably 1am-ish. Bronwyn then tells them:
BRONWYN: Well, he didn't come home last night – at least, not past the front door.
Des and Clive look at each other. Bronwyn asks them if they're *sure* they didn't pull something on Henry, and Clive assures her that they absolutely didn't. Bronwyn explains about how Sharon found Henry's keys outside, and she adds that she's scared something's happened to him. She adds tersely:
BRONWYN: If my wedding day is ruined because some moronic joke has backfired--
CLIVE (interrupting): We thought that when he left here he was going home, all right?
BRONWYN: Yeah, well, he wouldn't just chuck his keys in the porch and wander off by himself, would he? Somebody must know *something*.
Joe is sitting at the kitchen table, looking rough! Toby cracks an egg and empties the raw contents into a glass! Joe just groans! Toby remarks that he looks pretty sick and suggests that maybe he should try some dog hairs! Joe chuckles:
JOE: Where'd you learn about hangover cures?!
TOBY: Off *you*!
Joe sighs that he doesn't think even a hair of the dog would help him! He adds that he's getting too old to have two buck's nights in one night. Toby asks what you *do* at a buck's night. Joe says hesitantly:
JOE: Um... well, you know, a buck's night... it's, er, it's traditional, mate, all around the world, like, um, Mother's Day! And, er, it's when a bloke who's getting married the next day, his other mates get together and pay him tribute.
JOE: Oh, well, they, er, drink to his health. A lot! And they, er, tell a few tall tales—
TOBY: Dirty jokes!
JOE: Yeah... Yeah! And, er, watch videos, you know; play cards, play pranks...
TOBY: What *kind* of pranks?
JOE: Oh, nothing bad!
TOBY: Tell me about the pranks!
The doorbell rings suddenly, and Joe tells Toby quickly to go and answer it. Toby does so and comes back in with Bronwyn. Joe warns her not to shout! Bronwyn tells him curtly that Henry didn't come home last night; Des and Clive reckon *he* might know something about it. Joe, however, insists that last time he saw Henry he was feeling no pain and heading for home! Bronwyn presses that the joke's gone far enough. Joe, however, insists that he's probably sleeping it off somewhere; he'll turn up – sooner or later... Bronwyn doesn't look convinced.
Clive and Des are sitting at the table, glasses of water containing tablets to help with their hangovers in front of them! Des raises his glass to Joe. Clive raises his to Henry – wherever he might be! Des says he thinks they both know the answer to *that* one – and Joe can't resist a challenge! The ‘phone starts ringing and Des goes to answer it. He listens and sounds astonished when Gail comes on! He whispers to Clive to go and get Paul. Clive dashes out. Des then says to Gail:
DES: No, I'm not missing *my* wedding – *Henry's* getting married. ... No, not to Jane! We had to postpone it. ... Mrs. Mangel's sick in London: Jane went over. ... Enough of that, anyway. How are *you*? ... Good. That's good. *Where* are you?
Des listens and then tells Gail that Paul is going out of his mind worrying about her. He listens again and then says quickly:
DES: OK, look, it's fine. No, if you don't want to talk about it, that's cool by me.
He looks around, nervously.
A short time later, Paul has arrived. He takes the ‘phone but as soon as Gail hears his voice she hangs up. Paul slams the ‘phone down in frustration. He asks Des if Gail said where she was, but Des replies that all he knows is that it was STD. He adds that she just rang to apologise for not coming to the wedding; she didn't want to talk about anything else. Clive asks how she sounded. Des retorts that she sounded all right; a bit flat. Paul asks urgently:
PAUL: What about the triplets? Did she say the triplets were OK?
DES: She didn't say anything to make me think they *weren't*.
PAUL (agitatedly): Des, she must have said *something* to help me find her. I mean, did she mention anybody else's name?
Des just reiterates that, like he said, Gail didn't want to talk. Paul snaps in frustration:
PAUL: I don't believe you could be on the ‘phone for that long, Des, and not get one piece of information.
DES (retorts pointedly): She didn't hang up on *me*, mate.
Clive warns both men to take it easy. Paul apologises to Des, saying that it's just the not knowing. He asks if Gail left a message for him at all. Des replies:
DES: All she said was: she had to get away.
Paul sighs heavily, looking upset.
Madge and Harold are cleaning the lounge room, Harold commenting that it's going to get crowded in there. Madge points out that that's why she set the bar up outside. Sharon emerges from the bedroom area and joins Bronwyn in the kitchen. Bronwyn hangs up the ‘phone and tells her sister that Henry isn't anywhere she thought he'd be. Sharon smiles:
SHARON: Maybe he just got cold feet?!
BRONWYN (grimly): Thanks, Sharon!
Bronwyn insists that it has to be a prank; she just hopes it doesn't make him miss the wedding. Madge assures her that Henry will be there, even if he's been tarred and feathered. Bronwyn then says she was wondering whether she should ring her dad before he goes back to Narrabri. Sharon shakes her head and Bronwyn admits that there's probably no point. She adds:
BRONWYN: It just seems such a big thing, marrying without his approval. I wish things were different.
Harold says he thinks Mr. Davies will come around eventually: fathers can be pretty stubborn sometimes! With that, he heads off to the Coffee Shop to open up. Sharon tells Bronwyn that they have to go over to No. 28 and do her hair and make-up. Bronwyn looks at Madge and asks if she should call the police. Madge, however, tells her that that's enough of that: Henry will *be* there – otherwise he'll have *her* to answer to!
Joe is sitting at the kitchen table with an ice pack on his head! Toby comes in with Clive, who asks Joe what he knows about Henry's disappearance. Joe just asks why *he* should know anything. He adds that the last time he saw Henry he was plain-sailing and heading for home. Clive tells him that he hasn't *been* home. Joe frowns:
JOE (looking taken aback): Oh, well, he should be home by *now*...
CLIVE (muses): So you *do* know something about it?
Toby and Clive both ask him what he did. Joe explains:
JOE: I've got this mate who's a truckie, and, um, I arranged to have Henry kidnapped and dropped outside the city limits.
CLIVE: How *far* outside?
JOE: Oh, not far. 20 Ks or so!
CLIVE (exclaims): Twenty Ks?!
JOE: Yeah! A couple of hours' walk!
CLIVE (chuckles): Well why isn't he home?!
Clive then asks Joe if he's sure that's all there was to it. Joe admits:
JOE: Well I *did* throw another little something in for good measure...!
A rundown garden
Henry is hiding behind a tree, apparently naked! He looks around and sees some clothes on a washing line. He steps forward and goes to dash across the grass to the clothes, his hands covering his important bits! He suddenly hears a sheep baa and spots a woman walking towards the washing line, holding a clothes basket. Henry watches as she takes down all the clothes and heads back inside! He grimaces in horror!
Des and Paul are walking along the street, Des pointing out to Paul that at least they know Gail is OK: she'll be back soon. Paul retorts that that's what *everyone* says – but if she wouldn't come back to be Matron of Honour at Des's wedding, she might not come back at *all*. Des insists that she just needs time to clear her head – and at least she ‘phoned.
PAUL: Yeah - *you*, not *me*.
Des tells Paul that that's Gail's way of telling him that she's all right without having to talk to him. They pass Madge, who's standing at the end of the driveway of No. 24, looking concerned. She goes to the mailbox and takes out a letter and sheet of paper in there. She looks at the sheet of paper and exclaims:
MADGE: Oh no – I don't *believe* it.
Madge heads into the house and tells Bronwyn agitatedly that they're cutting the water off between 10am and 6pm on Saturday. Sharon exclaims:
SHARON: That's *today*.
MADGE (condescendingly): Well done, Sharon!
Madge goes on that they've got half an hour to store some. She then cries:
MADGE: How could they do this to me today of all days? It's a conspiracy, that's what it is!
Henry has found a scarecrow and has donned its black hat and is taking off its long jacket! He suddenly spots a dog running around nearby and he dashes off quickly!
Madge is on the ‘phone to the Water Board, telling them curtly that it would've been nice if they could've let her know earlier. She listens and then snaps:
MADGE: Huh! You think *you've* got an emergency! How am I supposed to prepare for a wedding reception with no water?!
She listens and then hangs up sharply. Sharon is filling up a bucket at the kitchen sink and Madge mutters at her that the Water Board wouldn't even tell her why it was *being* cut off. She goes on that they've all got to have showers, and she'll need to make tea and coffee – and they won't even be able to flush the toilets. Bronwyn emerges from the bathroom and announces that the bathtub's full. Madge thanks her and then says she thinks the two girls had better go and get ready. Bronwyn and Sharon head out and Madge goes and puts the plug in the kitchen sink and turns on the tap. It runs for about two seconds before cutting out. Madge stares at it and groans loudly!
Toby is sitting at the kitchen table at No. 32 when he hears Joe yelling from the bathroom:
JOE: Where's the bloody water?!
Joe comes in, a towel wrapped around his waist, and Toby chuckles at him! Joe, however, says curtly that it's nothing to laugh about, and he asks Toby if he's been playing about with the water meter. Toby insists that he hasn't. He adds that maybe Henry is pranking Joe back, but Joe retorts that you do that the night *before* the wedding day. He then goes to the kitchen tap and, finding that that doesn't work either, sighs that they might *tell* you that they'd turned the water off. He asks how he's going to rinse his hair. He then tells Toby to get the jug of iced water out the ‘fridge. Toby, however, admits that he drank it – it's empty. He adds that there's some cordial or milk and beer in the ‘fridge: why doesn't Joe wash his hair with beer?! Joe mutters that he supposes he doesn't have much choice. Toby takes out a beer and opens it. Joe leans over the kitchen sink and sighs:
JOE: Oh mate, I've done some strange things in my time, but this would have to be *it*!
With that, Toby starts pouring the beer over Joe's head!
Bronwyn is putting a facepack on Sharon's face, but she looks concerned. Sharon asks her if she's still worried about Henry. Bronwyn murmurs that of *course* she is. Sharon insists that he'll *be* there. Des comes in with some flowers and Bronwyn comments that they're lovely. Des tells her that they just arrived from Jane. Bronwyn and Sharon look at each other. Bronwyn says meekly:
BRONWYN: I'm sorry, Des. Here *I* am: I've taken over your wedding... your house...
DES: Don't be silly! I feel much better that I've got these, now. I sent some to her, as well: nice that we're both thinking of each other on a day like today.
Bronwyn goes to the kitchen sink and tries to turn the tap on – but then realises there's no water *there*, either. Sharon puts her hands to the cream on her face!
An unmade road
Henry darts out from amongst some trees at the side of a road as a car drives past – but the driver takes one look at him as Henry tries to flag him down and speeds off quickly! Henry yells after the car:
HENRY: Wait ‘til *you* need a lift sometime, bucko. Some Samaritan *you* are!
Another car comes along and pulls to a halt next to Henry. There are four twenty-something women in it, all chuckling at his appearance! Henry grins at them and says:
HENRY: Ah, look, I, er, I really appreciate this.
The driver suggests slyly:
WOMAN: It's a pretty warm day. Why don't you take your coat off?!
Henry just stands there shyly! The woman then asks where he's going to. Henry explains that he needs to get back to Erinsborough – real quick! The woman looks around at her friends and says she thinks they can do that! She opens the door for him and he climbs into the back seat between two of the very attractive young women!
Joe is standing with Madge in the kitchen as she exclaims in horror:
MADGE: Stripped?! *Naked*?!
Joe starts to say that, yeah, but that's not the problem. Madge asks him curtly if he's trying to say that it's no problem finding your way back over 20 kilometres. Joe says:
JOE: Ah, *that's* the problem.
MADGE: What is?
JOE: The 20 Ks. See, I just had a mate: he rang to explain... well, he forgot about Henry in the back of his truck, and by the time he remembered he was *50* Ks away.
MADGE (horrified): *Fifty*?
Harold arrives home suddenly and Joe takes the opportunity of the interruption to head for the front door. Madge stops him, however, and rants:
MADGE: Did you realise he could be arrested for indecent exposure? He could end up naked in some police cell somewhere.
JOE: No, no, no, he'll find his way back. He's very resourceful.
MADGE: I'm sorry, Joe – I don't share your optimism. Now, if Henry doesn't turn up, do you realise you will have ruined his wedding day? And *yours*.
JOE: Well *I* didn't know it was going to end up like this, did I?
MADGE: I suggest you climb into that ute of yours and go out and *find* him.
JOE: He could be *anywhere* by now.
Harold, who has been to the bathroom, emerges again and says he turned the bath on and no water came out. Madge mutters that the water's *off*; that's why she filled the bath up. Harold muses:
HAROLD: Ah. Perhaps I made a small mistake by *emptying* the bath...
MADGE (quietly but menacingly!): You emptied the bath...?
HAROLD: Well, it was cold, and I didn't know there's no water.
MADGE (curtly): Thanks, Harold. Thanks a million. That was just about all the water we *had*.
HAROLD (pointedly): Madge, I wanted a bath.
MADGE: Yeah, well, you're going to have to go next door to have one, aren't you?
JOE: *That* won't work: water's off in the whole street.
MADGE (hisses in shock): It's *what*?
JOE: Didn't you know?
MADGE (groans): No groom... no water... This wedding's going to be a total disaster.