Matt pointing out to Nick that without his skateboard, he can't enter the competition and Sharon will have to go on a date with Zadro.
Hilary is folding up tablecloths, telling Bronwyn as she does so that Gloria is coming round for another etiquette lesson this evening, and the thought leaves her exhausted. She then adds that it'll at least take her mind off tomorrow morning, when she has an interview with Mr. Muir for a position at the school as a Librarian. Bronwyn seems somewhat distracted, though, and Hilary mutters:
HILARY: Of course, I couldn't expect *you* to be interested.
Bronwyn sighs that she's worried about Harold: he's been so down on her lately, and she doesn't know what to do about it. Hilary suggests curtly:
HILARY: Improve your performance you've made several careless errors recently.
BRONWYN (sighs): Don't remind me.
Hilary warns Bronwyn that she should tread very carefully both at the Coffee Shop and at home because she thinks Harold is perilously close to letting her go. Bronwyn stands there looking worried.
Mike opens the front door to Nick and Sharon, who tells him that this is a business call. Nick explains that Muir took his skateboard. Sharon adds that all Nick was doing was *riding* the thing. Mike asks if it was in the school grounds. Nick just retorts that it's not a huge crime or anything. Mike, however, sighs that he really can't see what he can do about it; they broke the school rules, and knowing Mr. Muir, they're just going to have to wear it. Sharon and Nick look disappointed.
Rob pulls down the shutters and walks over to Bertha as Jim pulls up in his car. Rob asks Jim when Henry's going to pick up the piece of rust. Jim shrugs that it could be weeks; they're hanging on to it until he pays the bill, and he'll find the money a lot more quickly if he hasn't got the car to drive around in. Changing the subject, he asks Rob if he has time for a beer. Rob mutters that he's got time for *ten*: he'll be on his pat thanks to Hilary. He goes on that Gloria's got another one of those deportment lessons but he doesn't understand why she can't stay the way she *is*. He adds:
ROB: If Gloria tries to change herself one more time, I reckon I'm not going to even *recognise* her!
With that, he heads into the garage. Jim follows and closes the door behind him.
It's evening-time and Gloria is walking slowly along the lounge room at No. 30, a hardback book on her head. Hilary, however, tells her that shes waddling like a duck rather than gliding like a swan. Gloria asks Hilary to show her again. Hilary takes the book and demonstrates how to glide. She then hands the book back to Gloria and tells her:
HILARY: Glide and slide... glide and slide...
Gloria takes the book and starts walking. Hilary smiles that she's doing better, but she needs to pull her shoulders back, as a lady never slouches.
GLORIA (groans): From what you're telling *me*, a lady never gets to do *anything*!
HILARY: Oh nonsense! There are *many* pleasures in which a lady can indulge, but slouching is not one of them. Now, while you're gliding, I think we should do some vocal work. Follow me: Round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.' Nice wide-open mouth for resonance, Gloria.
Gloria repeats the words, but almost shouts them! Hilary muses that it needs work! Gloria puts the book back on her head and starts trying to glide while repeating the words again but as she does so, the book falls off and lands on Hilary's foot! Gloria says quickly that she's sorry, and she asks if it hurt. Hilary snaps:
HILARY: You fool of *course* it damn well--; [more sedately!] Of *course* it hurt.
The next morning, Sharon and Nick are eating breakfast in the lounge room. Nick sighs that he still hasn't got any ideas about how to approach Muir and if he doesn't get the board back today, it'll be locked in his office all weekend. There's suddenly a knock on the front door and Sharon answers it to find Bronwyn on the step. Sharon smiles and invites her in for brekkie, but Bronwyn just says flatly that Hilary said she'd leave the Coffee Shop keys there. Sharon hands them over and Bronwyn heads off again, leaving Sharon to mutter:
SHARON: Have a nice day...
Nick asks Sharon what she expects; she's been pretty snaky towards her sister. Sharon sighs that she *hates* fighting with Bronnie; she just wishes there was some way she could make it up to her.
Mr. Muir is working at the desk in his office when there's a knock on the door. He gets up and answers it. Hilary is standing on the other side and she introduces herself and says she has an appointment for the Librarian's position. Mr. Muir invites her in and Hilary hobbles over to a seat. Mr. Muir asks her if she's had an accident and she tells him:
HILARY: I, er, well, yes, just a minor one. I tripped on a rabbit hole while I was out bird-watching.
HILARY: Yes, I was so enthralled by what I was watching, I didn't see where I was going.
Muir tells Hilary that he's a bird-watcher as well but he finds it difficult to find someone to share the hobby with. He then adds that, much as he'd like to continue, they really must get down to more mundane matters. Hilary hands over her references and tells Mr. Muir that she left Adelaide for family matters, but has missed working in her field. As Mr. Muir glances through the file Hilary handed him, he tells her that has other applicants to see but he thinks it's very unlikely that they'll be able to produce references of the calibre of hers. Hilary sits there looking pleased.
Nick tells Sharon that they'd better get a move on. Sharon says she thinks she might have worked out a way to make things up with Bronwyn but it's going to cost her. Nick asks what it is. Sharon, however, asks if she can tells him later, as she hasn't worked it out properly in her mind, yet; all she knows is that it's going to cost a lot of money. Nick asks if she's got any at *all*. Sharon shrugs that she hasn't, but she *has* got her ghettoblaster.
NICK (aghast): You're not going to *sell* it?
SHARON: I'm going to *have* to and my best bet is Matt.
NICK: Has he got any money?
SHARON: He must have. He's already asked me if he can buy it, because Hilary's always hassling him about using the stereo.
With that, the two of them head out.
Gloria is approaching the garage and practicing her deportment at the same time. As she glides over to Jim, he smiles at her and asks if she's hurt her back! Gloria replies in a regal voice:
GLORIA: Not that I know of. Why?
JIM: It's just that you're walking sort of stiffly.
GLORIA: That's the new walk that Hilary's taught me. Don't you like it?
As she speaks, Gloria pronounces all her Ts very clearly! Rob walks over and says to his wife:
ROB: Hello, love, brought me lunch?
GLORIA (corrects): *My* lunch.
Gloria hands Rob a lunchbox and Rob opens it to find cucumber sandwiches inside. Looking aghast, Rob comments that she's left out all the meat and cheese! Gloria just says poshly:
GLORIA: If you don't stop whinging like that, I won't bother bringing your lunchbox at *all*.
Rob mutters that it might be a good thing! He then takes out a serviette from the lunchbox and stuffs so that it's hanging down from his shirt collar. Gloria, however, pulls it out and snaps:
GLORIA: Not like *that*.
ROB (sighs): What have I done wrong *now*?
GLORIA: One places one's napkin on one's lap.
ROB (irritated): *One* might, but *I don't*.
Rob then snaps that he's been eating the same way all his life, and he's not going to change now because of some silly lessons Gloria has been taking from that high-and-mighty Hilary. Gloria, however, snaps back that at least she's trying to change herself which is more than can be said for *him*. She adds:
GLORIA: And let me tell you, buster: if anybody needs improvement, it's *you*!
With that, she marches off. Jim muses to Rob that he's glad he doesn't have lunch with the two of them *every* day!
Bronwyn serves Nick and Sharon at a table, muttering as she does so that she doesn't know why they have to come in *there* for lunch; there are plenty of *other* places they can go. She then heads back over to the counter, where Hilary is hanging up the phone. She tells Bronwyn that that was Mr. Muir officially offering her the Librarian position. She adds that her only worry now is that it might be difficult for Mr. Bishop to find a full time replacement for her:
HILARY: Somebody as efficient as I am will be very hard to replace.
Bronwyn murmurs that she only wishes Harold felt the same way about *her*. She moves a chopping board aside and suddenly notices an envelope lying underneath. She picks it up and looks astonished to find cash inside. She gasps at Hilary in astonishment that they've got the money back! From the table where she's sitting, Sharon smiles happily. Bronwyn reads a note accompanying the cash:
BRONWYN: Here's the money I stole. Sorry I took it - I'd rather give it back than feel guilty about it. I only hope that no one got in too much trouble about it.'
Hilary says she's sure Mr. Bishop will be very relieved to get his money back. Bronwyn suggests that Harold might lighten up on her. Hilary says she thinks she might be right. At the table, Sharon smiles at Nick that she's *sure* she's right!
Sometime later, Nick is sitting waiting for Sharon as she emerges from the school. He smiles that it's great the way she gave that money to Bronwyn but he doesn't understand why she didn't just *give* it to her. Sharon replies that she thought about it, but she didn't want Bron to think she was crawling to her; she just wanted to fix things between her and Harold, and scoring points wasn't part of the deal. Changing the subject, she sighs that she wishes there was something they could do about Nick's skate board. Nick replies that there *is* - but he doesn't think Sharon is going to like it too much.
SHARON: What is it?
NICK: I'm going to sneak into Mr. Muir's office and just take it.
SHARON (looking worried): Nick! You can't do that!
Nick insists that he won't get caught and if he sneaks it back into Muir's office early Monday morning, he'll never know. He asks Sharon if she's with him. Sharon nods reluctantly:
SHARON: Yeah, I'm with you.
Rob is telling Jim that he doesn't like all this etiquette nonsense one little bit; Gloria puts about 16 forks on the table and keeps interrupting every little bite he takes to correct him on something! He adds that she'll ruin their marriage the way things are going. Jim points out that Gloria's only interested in the self-improvement stuff because Dean didn't want her to come to his office party. Rob heads outside as Bronwyn walks over and joins Jim inside. She tells him that she's got some money for him for Bertha. She hands it over and Jim counts it and nods that it's exactly the right amount. He adds:
JIM: Henry must have got his act together.
BRONWYN: Yeah, well, he got a job he wasn't expecting, so he dropped that in to me at the Coffee Shop and asked me to pass it on.
Jim asks why Henry didn't bring the money over himself, and Bronwyn tells him that it's because *she's* sort of *neutral*: Henry and the Bishops aren't speaking to Jim. Jim sighs:
JIM: It's getting as silly as the old days, when the Robinsons and Ramsays were enemies. It's just plain stupid.
Rob walks back in and mutters that there's a *lot* of that going on round there at the moment.
Hilary is clearing a table when Gloria walks in and strides over ungracefully. Hilary tells her tersely that she's still thinking duck'. Gloria, however, replies:
GLORIA: Probably but what I'm *also* thinking is it's better to be a married duck than a divorced swan.
HILARY (blankly): I'm sorry, Gloria I'm not with you.
GLORIA: Neither's Rob and that's just the problem. We've just had this big argument about all this etiquette and deportment stuff. He doesn't like it.
HILARY (looking astonished): Why on earth not?
GLORIA: Well, to tell you the truth, I think he's a bit frightened but whatever the reason, I reckon I ought to give it up. I don't like upsetting Rob and I certainly don't like upsetting my marriage.
Hilary mutters that Gloria shouldn't let Rob bully her; and doesn't she want Dean to be proud of her? Gloria smiles that of course she does.
HILARY: Yes, well, he won't be unless you improve your social acceptability. Gloria, you may as well say goodbye to him now, because he won't want to know you. Is that what you want?
Looking worried, Gloria cries that she'd *hate* that. Hilary says:
HILARY: Well, there's your answer. The lessons shall continue and Rob will simply have to get used to it.
Gloria declares that Hilary is right: any man who would come between a mother and her son isn't worthy of the name.
Sharon and Nick are creeping along a corridor at the school. They watch as the door to Mr. Muir's office opens and Muir emerges and heads off, carrying his briefcase. The two of them then head into the office and start looking around for Nick's skateboard. Neither of them is aware that Mike is in the corridor outside. As he passes Mr. Muir's office, he hears Sharon call to Nick:
SHARON: Got it!
Mike opens the door and catches Nick and Sharon in the act. He demands:
MIKE: All right what's going on?
SHARON (looking guilty): We *had* to get the board, Mike, we just *had* to.
NICK (warily): You're not going to dob us in, are you?
Mike stands there, deciding what to do.