Eileen breaking down into tears after smashing her hands into the wedding cake that Madge made for her and Malcolm.
EILEEN: He's gone, Desmond. I loved him and he's *gone*...
Des tries to get his mother to go and sit down on the couch, but she just leans on the kitchen counter and murmurs through her tears:
EILEEN: I *knew* he'd run away like he did the last time. I *knew* he'd break my heart. I *knew* I shouldn't give in...
DES (softly): That's all in the past.
EILEEN (sniffs): How *dare* he leave me like that – like some old shoe he can throw away...
Des tries again to manoeuvre Eileen to the couch, but Eileen turns to him and, punching her fists into his chest, cries:
EILEEN: He had no *right*!
She then breaks down and collapses onto the floor. She starts trying to pick up the pieces of the smashed cake, sobbing as she does so:
EILEEN: I'm sorry. Dreadfully sorry. I feel like such a fool...
Des crouches down with her and pulls her head to his shoulder. He tells her that he thinks she should see Beverly: he's worried about her heart. He then helps her to her feet and tells her to go and get changed. Eileen sniffs and then nods her head sadly. She shuffles off to her room. Des looks at the cake, an expression of concern on his face.
Madge is vacuuming the lounge room floor at No. 24. Henry is sitting in the armchair and Madge tells him to move himself. Looking aghast, Henry exclaims that he's an invalid! Madge retorts that he'll be *more* of an invalid if he doesn't move himself! He reluctantly shifts across to the couch – but is chased off that as well! As he moves around, he sighs that he can't find a girl to go out with him. Madge just muses:
MADGE: You find it difficult to find girls to go out with you when you're fit and well. At least now you've got a good excuse!
HENRY: Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence, mother dear!
Madge just retorts that he's not going to get any sympathy from *her* for showing off on Sally's gym equipment. She adds that Scott's the one *she* feels sorry for. Henry asks why and Madge tells him:
MADGE: He's hardly got a spare second in the day. He's delivering pamphlets in the morning, he's in the supermarket in the evening and in between times he's mowing lawns for *you*.
HENRY (indignantly): He's getting well paid!
Madge sighs that she knows it's no fun sitting around there by himself all the day. She then goes on:
MADGE: Listen, over the weekend, with weddings and all, I didn't get any driving lessons. Now, why don't you—
HENRY (quickly): Mum, mum, give a guy a break, would you?!
MADGE: But Henry, I'm more confident now. I know more about driving. I'm sure if we put our minds to it we wouldn't get hot and bothered.
HENRY (witheringly): Mum, you ran over a fire hydrant! The problem wasn't so much hot and bothered as getting wild and wet!
MADGE (snaps): Are you going to help me or *not*? I don't start work until two; we could go right away. That is if you haven't got anything *better* to do...
HENRY (sighs): Oh, I suppose I can fit you in...
Beverly starts clearing up a mess in the lounge room. The doorbell rings suddenly and she quickly stuffs a cup and saucer into the desk drawer! She goes to the door and opens it to find Des and Eileen standing on the step, Eileen wearing a headscarf and dark glasses. As they head inside, Beverly apologises for the mess, explaining that it's a bigger house than she's used to looking after. Des says he hopes they're not interrupting. Beverly replies:
BEVERLY: No – Lucy's at school and Jim's taken the kids down to the river. Just for the drive, not to drown them...!
Eileen murmurs that she didn't want to come; Desmond *made* her. Des explains to Beverly that Eileen's been moody and miserable for days and could do with a check- up. Beverly asks Eileen how she slept last night. She murmurs:
EILEEN: I didn't sleep at *all*.
BEVERLY: That could be a good deal of the problem. I can give you something to help you relax, but let's take a look at you.
With that, Beverly helps Eileen through to the bedroom area. Des sits down to wait, looking worried.
Side of a road
Henry has set out some orange cones around a parking space at the side of a road, and he tells Madge that they're going to practice reversing into a driveway. Madge climbs into the car and Henry tells her to swing the car out so that she can reverse. He climbs into the passenger side and instructs Madge to turn the motor on and release the handbrake. Madge does so – but as she puts her foot on the accelerator, the car judders forward several times as it moves out into the road! Madge says tersely:
MADGE: How was that?
HENRY: Good! *Very* good!
MADGE (demands): *Good*?
HENRY: Except you forgot to indicate – and the nice policeman's going to want you to use your indicators.
MADGE (mutters): All right, Henry, I get the message.
Harold walks over to the car suddenly and says hello. Madge comments that she thought he'd be in the middle of the lunch- hour rush at the Coffee Shop. Harold, however, explains that an ‘adorable' four- year- old spilt a milkshake all down his shirt and trousers, so he had to rush home and change. He then asks Madge if she's noticed that she's parked in the middle of the road! Madge retorts:
MADGE: Yes, Harold, I had – and really, I'd like to get on with it, if the repartee from the cheer squad's finished...
Harold walks off. Henry tells Madge to take it slow and steady. She releases the handbrake and starts reversing. Harold turns and watches as the car comes straight towards him, mounts the edge of a traffic island – just avoiding a road sign! – and continues backwards, chasing straight after him! As he steps backwards to avoid it, he ends up tripping over the kerb of a wooded area and falling backwards into some mud! Madge and Henry climb out of the car as Harold looks at the now- filthy condition of his outfit and exclaims:
HAROLD: Look what you've done to my trousers! And my coat! Look!
Madge stands there staring. She then groans:
MADGE: I don't think I'm *ever* going to be able to learn to drive...
As Madge and Henry arrive home a while later, Henry grins that he doesn't know why Harold is so huffy! Madge is holding Harold's dirty suit, and she says she's going to have to take it to the cleaners. Henry looks at the trousers and muses:
HENRY: That's a fair old waist Harold's got on him, isn't it!
MADGE (retorts): Harold's waistline is none of your concern!
Madge then calms down and sighs that she thinks she's going to have to give up driving; it's only a matter of time before someone gets hurt; she's just too old to learn. She suddenly spots the post on the kitchen counter and she opens the top letter. She then exclaims:
MADGE: Oh no! It's the bill for the fire hydrant.
She hands the letter to Henry, who looks at it and gasps:
HENRY: A thousand bucks?!
MADGE: That thing isn't a car; it's a miserable money- muncher! I'm going to have to sell it – I should've done that in the first place.
Henry suggests quickly that they settle down and think about this. Madge asks how else she's going to raise $1,000, but Henry tells her selling your car isn't that easy – there are expenses. Madge asks what he means. Henry tells her that advertising can run into big biccies. Madge, however, says she's going to use cards in shop windows – it won't cost a cent.
Beverly emerges from the bedroom area and Des asks her:
DES: How is she?
BEVERLY: Physically, she's fine. Emotionally, she's fragile – which is only to be expected. I've given her a pill to take now and two more over the next couple of days. She should sleep better tonight.
DES: What sort of pills?
BEVERLY: Tranquilisers. Just something to help her sleep better.
DES: Is there a prescription or anything?
BEVERLY: Oh... I'd rather see how she is over the next few days. As a rule, I don't like prescribing tranquilisers. If she still needs help, we can try some natural alternatives such as meditation... yoga... exercise... perhaps counselling.
Beverly adds that she'll drop in tomorrow and by then Eileen should be a little better. Des muses:
DES: What a way for you to start your honeymoon – although Daph's and mine didn't go too smoothly: I ricked my back on the second day; I couldn't move for the rest of the time!
BEVERLY (smiles): I hope it's an omen – ‘cos if Jim and I are as happy as you and Daphne, I'll be very pleased. Now, just you take care of Eileen – I'd say that, by tonight, she'll be feeling brighter.
Harold has finished having dinner with Madge and Henry and he tells Madge that it was a delightful meal – equal to anything Mrs. Mangel could serve up. Madge glares at him and he clarifies quickly:
HAROLD: Better! Oh ho, much better!
Madge muses that, after lunchtime, she's just glad they're on speaking terms again. Henry heads through to the lounge room to watch television. Madge and Harold go to do the washing up, Harold commenting as they do so that Charlene swept off to her room rather quietly – and she didn't eat very much, either. Madge explains that she's missing Scott: he's working round the clock at the moment. The ‘phone starts ringing suddenly and Madge answers it, using her best speaking voice! She listens and then says:
MADGE: Yes, yes, this is Madge Ramsay ... Oh, yes, I did put the advertisement in the shop window, yes.
Henry comes back through as Madge's face drops and she says on the ‘phone:
MADGE: Pardon? ... Why? I fail to see what... what I'm *wearing* has to do with it ... Why on earth do you want to know what colour my hair is?
Madge then slams down the ‘phone onto the counter, looking aghast. Harold picks it up and listens. He then exclaims in horror:
HAROLD: That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in all my life!
Putting the 'phone to his ear, he snaps at the caller:
HAROLD: Listen here – if you ‘phone here again, I'll have the call traced and send the police around. Now, what kind of man *are* you, you- you- you—
With that, Harold slams down the ‘phone! Henry grins that he guesses it pays to advertise! Madge, however, snaps that that's not funny. Harold adds that it certainly is *not*. He then suggests to Madge that first thing tomorrow she retrieve all those cards advertising her car. Madge nods:
MADGE: Yes, Harold, I will – but how on earth am I going to *sell* the damn thing?
HENRY: What about that guy who drinks at the Waterhole sometimes? Um... Barry Hawkins. He sells cars on consignment – 10% commission. I heard he gets fast results and damn good prices.
Madge sighs that it might cost her *less* than 10% to advertise in the paper. Henry, however, points out:
HENRY: Freaks and perverts still read the paper, right? At least this way you'd know who you were dealing with.
Harold says he agrees with Henry: anything to keep clear from those sick and depraved minds out in that jungle. Madge points out to Harold that *he* was the one who didn't want her to sell the car. Harold just shrugs that certain events have changed his mind – and changed it most emphatically!
Eileen is sitting on the couch, staring into space. Des offers her some cocoa, but she doesn't respond. Des smiles that he used to make her cocoa when he was a kid – although she never let him add the hot water until he was ten years old! Eileen murmurs:
EILEEN: Always been such a good boy, Desmond. All those long years... Let me give you a great big hug...
Eileen stands up and starts to walk towards Des, who holds out his arms to her – but just before she reaches him, she stumbles and Des has to catch her. Eileen murmurs distantly that it's all right: she just tripped... She goes to head off to her room. Des says:
DES: What about the cocoa? I thought you wanted me to make you some.
EILEEN (slowly): You're not ten years old anymore, Desmond.
Des stares at Eileen in concern as she shuffles off.
Driveway of No. 24
The next morning, Madge is standing with Barry Hawkins in the driveway of No. 24, asking how much she could get for the car. Hawkins looks at the car and asks how much she's asking. Madge replies that it's got to be worth $11,000 or $12,000. Hawkins chuckles and says:
HAWKINS: I think you're being a bit hopeful! Didn't I hear you'd had a prang?
MADGE: Well, yes, but it wasn't anything serious. I backed into the fire hydrant; it's all repaired now.
HAWKINS: Any little ding really knocks the value. Look, Madge, I don't know what it's worth, but if you'd like me to take it, I'll get you the best price I can. It's up to you.
Henry joins Madge as she says she'll have to think about that. Henry sighs that he thought she'd *decided*. Madge replies that she *had* – and she's sure Barry's a very nice man, but she hardly *knows* him. Hawkins assures Madge that last- minute nerves happen all the time. He then explains that they both sign a letter of agreement defining everything: that way, everyone's in the clear. Henry points out to Madge that she saw what happened when she tried to sell it herself. Madge sighs and gives in. She asks Hawkins what she has to do. Hawkins takes out a letter of agreement and tells Madge to sign on the dotted line.
Des is wearing his dressing gown and eating a slice of toast as he lets Harold in. Harold explains that he called over to see how Eileen is and whether there's anything he can do. Des, however, replies that he doubts she'll surface for a while: she was awake for half the night, unable to sleep. Harold comments:
HAROLD: These unfortunate events must be playing havoc with your work at the bank.
DES (nods): So far I've managed to cover all bases, but I'm spreading myself pretty thin.
Eileen emerges from her room at that moment. Harold smiles at her and says he came over to pay his regards and see how she is. Eileen nods slowly:
EILEEN: Very well, thank you. I had a nice early night.
Des stares at her and tells her that she was up ‘til half past three in the morning! Eileen says blankly:
EILEEN: Was I?
DES: You certainly were.
EILEEN (distantly): My memory must be playing tricks on me...
She goes to sit down on the couch. Harold remarks to Des that emotional trauma can be very tricky. He asks if there's anything *he* can do. Des looks at his watch and remarks that he wants to be at the bank by noon, so if Harold can spare Mike from the Coffee Shop... Harold nods that as soon as the sandwiches are made for the lunchtime trade, he'll send him straight home. He adds:
HAROLD: We can't allow Eileen to get any worse, can we?
Eileen sits there staring into space.
Driveway of No. 24
Henry is standing in the driveway of No. 24, having picked up the post from the box. Madge joins him and tells him that she'll be getting some lunch in a while. A car pulls up suddenly and Henry comments that it's Barry. Hawkins climbs out of his car and smiles at Madge that he has good news: he's managed to shift the car! Madge exclaims:
HAWKINS: It's your lucky day, Madge! I've had one for a month – could not get a taker. This joker happened to walk in, saw yours and fell in love!
HENRY (eagerly): How much?
HAWKINS: It's not what Madge was after, but it's a fair price. I pushed him as high as he'd go.
With that, he hands Madge a cheque, adding that he'll forget the commission. Madge stares at it and then asks uncertainly:
MADGE: Uh... is this a deposit?
HAWKINS (laughs): A deposit?! You're a card, Madge! Second- hand car that's been in an accident... that's the full price: $4000 – less $400... that's $3,600.
HENRY (exclaims): You're kidding!
HAWKINS: That prang knocked the car right out of alignment. You're lucky to *get* four grand.
Madge says firmly that she's not accepting it: she wants her car back and he can give the man back his money. Hawkins, however, says the car is legally the buyer's. Henry tells Hawkins that there's no way $4,000 is a fair price. Hawkins retorts that Madge signed an agreement authorising him to sell; she didn't name any minimum, so he got the best price he could. With that, he walks off back to his car. Madge turns to Henry and says curtly:
MADGE: *You* organised this.
HENRY (exclaims): *Me*?!
MADGE: Yes – and you can damn well *un*organise it! I don't care how you go about it, Henry: I *want my car back*!
Eileen is sitting on the couch, rocking back and forth. Des is standing over by the front door, telling Beverly that Eileen didn't have any breakfast, just a couple of cups of tea. He goes on that she seemed to be getting better yesterday, but now she just sits there crying. Beverly walks over to the couch and smiles:
BEVERLY: Come on, Eileen – time to take one of those pills.
EILEEN (murmurs): Took them all yesterday.
BEVERLY (exclaims): *All* of them?
EILEEN: Well, I took one: it seemed to make me feel better so I took the others.
DES: Is *that* why you were acting so strangely?
BEVERLY (warns): Eileen, you should take those pills very sparingly – and then only when you feel you can't cope.
EILEEN (snaps): Of *course* I can't cope. *Look* at me.
Beverly puts a comforting hand on Eileen's shoulder, but she quickly shrugs it away. Beverly tells her that she's dealt with this situation once before; she can do it again. Eileen retorts:
EILEEN: That was years ago; I'm an old woman now.
BEVERLY (firmly): Eileen, you're *not* an old woman. You can handle it. Now, I'll write one prescription and one only. I want Des to take charge of the pills and see they're taken as per instructions.
DES: Don't worry – I'll do *that*.
BEVERLY: Eileen, you've always been a very vital woman. Why don't you go back to the bowling club? You'd enjoy that.
EILEEN: Can I have a tablet now?
BEVERLY: I'm sorry.
With that, Eileen stands up and says she'll wait in her bedroom until Desmond gets back from the chemist. Des tells her that she's got to start fighting this thing and thinking positive. Eileen, however, retorts that he doesn't understand *anything*. Des insists that he's trying to. Eileen just turns to him and repeats tersely:
EILEEN: You don't understand *anything*. *Nobody* does.
Des stands there and sighs heavily.
Madge opens the front door just as Henry is about to come in. She says to him curtly:
HENRY: I checked with the panel- beaters and the guy who fixed it said no way was the car out of alignment – but when I ‘phoned Barry, he wouldn't budge.
MADGE: Can we take him to court? He's ripped us off for *thousands*.
HENRY (warily): Yeah... Look, that agreement you signed virtually said he gets that price. We could maybe claim unfair practices or something, but if you lost the case there could be costs; they could be quite high.
MADGE (sighs): I should've known better than to trust one of your stupid ideas.
HENRY: I'm *sorry*. What can I say? If I wasn't laid up I would've *thumped* the guy.
MADGE: Oh yes, and copped an assault charge on top of everything else. No, that's not the answer.
HENRY: I hate to say it, mum, but there seems only thing we can do.
Madge stares at Henry as he admits reluctantly:
HENRY: That is to cop it sweet.