Xanthe is in the back room of No.22.
Caption: PIPE UP
XANTHE: Hey guys, today the role of Piper Willis will be played by me...and for those of you who don't know who I am, then shame on you. I am Piper's best friend, Xanthe. Piper's a little bit MIA at the moment - AKA studying for her exams, AKA living in actual hell, which I'm sure most of you are also doing right now. So, I thought that I would lighten the load a little bit and do the video for her. Welcome to "Pipe Up - Hijacked!" It's now time for Xanthe's Top 3...tis the season to study, so here are my top 3 study tips.
She gets in closer to the camera.
XANTHE: Full disclosure. I don't actually go to school anymore, but I am totally qualified to be giving out this advice.
She sits back.
XANTHE: Number 1, dress well. When one is about to embark on a study session, one does not only want to look good, but feel good. Make sure whatever you're wearing helps circulate body temperature. Also keep in mind that hair and makeup accessories must be colour- coordianted. Number 2. Reward yourself with a distraction. Study fatigue is a serious issue. Computer and text book related accidents are on the rise! You should not be driving a pencil or laptop without the appropriate amount of procrastination to help keep one's brain active. Every five minutes or so, make sure to read pointless articles on the Internet. Or, watch funny cat videos. Whatever you watch, make sure that it has absolutely nothing to do with what your're studying. Number 3. Choose an appropriate work space. One that is ideal to achieving all of your study goals. My personal preference - the spa. Oh! Joining me now is a very special guest, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Piper Willis!
Piper comes into shot.
PIPER: Oh, this is so weird, being a guest on my own vlog!
XANTHE: You'll be fine, just relax, just pretend that the camera's not even here. So, Piper, I'm sure our viewers would love to know what you've been up to recently. Care to share?
PIPER: I have been studying, nothing more, nothing less. Studying. Study.
XANTHE: Well, thank you so much for having time to be on this show.
PIPER: Well, I realy didn't have much of a choice, did I, because Xanthe insisted that I adhere to tip number 2, which was 'reward yourself with a distraction'.
XANTHE: Mmm. And how are you finding my Top 3 Study Suggestions?
Piper gives her a double thumbs- up.
PIPER:(sarcastically) Wish I had three thumbs!
Xanthe puts the extra thumb up to join Piper's.
XANTHE: We have a letter from a viewer who needs some advice.
PIPER: Do we? Wow. How? Because this is your first episode...?
XANTHE: Moving along.
Xanthe reads from her phone.
XANTHE: 'Hi Piper and Xanthe, can you help? My ex and I are neighbours meaning we're constantly running into one another. Every time I see him, I realise that I still love him.'
Piper is looking at the camera in suspicion.
XANTHE: '...should I be brave and reveal my true feelings or keep quiet and stay miserable and lonely? PS Love your work, Xanthe, Piper, should let you do her vlog more often'. Aw, isn't that sweet?
PIPER:(imitating her) That's so sweet, oh my god! Do you know what else is really funny...this pickle that this person has found themselves in, the exact same thing is happening to *my* friend!
PIPER: Really. But...we'll keep her anonymous. And we'll call her, Bertha.
PIPER: I think it suits her. Maybe. I mean, I don't know her.
XANTHE: Can a victim pick her name?
PIPER: Don't get to pick your name. So, Bertha. My advice to you, Bertha, would be to go for it. You should let this guy know how you feel. But I mean, I'm going through my *own* relationship tough patch at the moment, and it sucks. So I say, stop wasting time. Why would younot want a chance at love? Tell this guy how you feel.
She glances at Xanthe who is looking sad and thoughtful.
PIPER: Xanthe? Xanthe? You alright?
Xanthe is still distracted.
PIPER: Hey guys, so sorry I had to take a bit of a back seat this week for this vlog, but I think we can all agree that Xanthe did an amazing job and was a brilliant re- cast. So round of applause...
She claps Xanthe.
PIPER: Thank you so much for doing this, I know that you're really busy yourself organising the gala for Lassiter's.
XANTHE: No, any time! It was very fun.
PIPER: My study hell isn't going to be relenting any time soon, but, we'll have breaks and I promise you that I will commit to this channel. Normal programming will resume for Pipe Up shortly. (To Xanthe) Do you want to do the sign- off? Seeing as you've been me for most of it!
XANTHE: Gladly. Thank you all so much for watching today's episode of Pipe Up...I hope you enjoyed the Top 3 Study Tips for living in actual hell. Quickly, for those of you who happen to live in Australia's Most Liveable Suburb, Erinsborough, enjoy the fireworks tonight. They're going to be killer!
They both smile into the camera.