Piper is in Melbourne.
PIPER: Hey guys, this is Piper! Today is a very special episode of 'Pipe Up'...as you can see, we're not in Kansas anymore Toto!
She indicates the Melbourne Skyline.
Caption: PIPE UP
PIPER: Look at that, no hands!
She waves her hands about and then a passerby says something. Piper looks confused.
PIPER: ... very loud!
She talks to the camera.
PIPER: I now have, like, officially made it, got a cameraman/lighting director/make- up artist/he totally gets my coffees for me!
Cut to Piper sipping a takeaway coffee and grimacing.
PIPER:(mock serious) Are you serious?! Is this a Chai? I asked for a double- shot with almond milk. Are you an idiot?!
Piper looks into the camera.
PIPER: See what I have to deal with?
Tyler comes into shot and looks into the camera.
TYLER: Come on, she deals with it just fine!
Piper tries to push him away.
PIPER: Camera on me, Camera on ME, this is called 'Pipe Up', not...'Type Up'!
PIPER: Type Down! Pipe Up! (To Tyler) Just thought of that, it was pretty good, 'Type Up'. Spill!
The camera changes to Tyler.
TYLER:(robotically) When 'Type Up' goes to Melbourne and don't worry about 'Pipe Up'.
Piper wanders off in disgust.
TYLER: Sore loser! Sore loser!
Piper comes back and kicks him.
Cut to outside Flinders Street Station.
PIPER: So, today, we're putting together a "best of" compilation.
PIPER: The places to go in our home town of Melbourne.
TYLER: Mel- bourne!
PIPER: In no particular order, at number one we have Centre Place. It's like a cool collection of laneways with cool coffees, really good vibes...like, really narrow...
TYLER: Best coffees!
PIPER: Best coffee.
TYLER: Best coffee, so we heard...
PIPER: ...not that we're biased about coffee! It's like a really cool vibe, like, very "Melbourne", like the *essence* of Melbourne.
Cut to Centre Place.
Caption: 1. Centre Place
PIPER: So, here we are at Centre Place! While we're here, let's get a coffee...didn't plan this at all!
TYLER:(behind the camera) We've had ten coffees today...
PIPER: Ssssh Tyler! I want a coffee!
TYLER:(finding a table) Here! Here, here! Sit here!
PIPER: Cute! This is, like, iconic Melbourne, you know, sitting outdoors, like a cafe in a laneway, hustle and bustle.
Their coffees arrive and Tyler clinks his cup against hers.
PIPER: Aw, that's cute!
She looks at her coffee with disappointment.
PIPER: Should have ordered a Chai!
She giggles. Then she sips her coffee, leaving her with a coffee moustache.
PIPER: So, uh, where shall we go, uh, now, Ty?
The camera moves to Tyler, who also has a coffee moustache. He leans in and kisses the camera.
Caption: 2. Hosier Lane
PIPER: Here we are at probably one of the most photographed places in Melbourne. It's got everything, street art...
Tyler wanders off down a side street.
PIPER: ...narrow laneways, lots of people. Um...
He indicates the side street
TYLER: Got to check it out!
Piper looks doubtful.
PIPER: It's very sketchy. Literally! Because of all the artwork!
She and Tyler laugh.
PIPER: No, but seriously, I don't feel safe.
She points out some artwork.
PIPER: A whale. Which is the international symbol of peace. As you can see, if you want peace, have a whale of a time! That's what I like to say! That's my motto.
Cut to another art installation of some underwear that Piper and Tyler giggle at.
PIPER: Burn the bra. That's what this piece is called. 'Naked and Afraid'.
Tyler pulls on the elastic of the pants.
TYLER: I reckon you could fit in there!
PIPER: Can you imagine? Like...
She mimes being in the pants and they both laugh. Tyler pings the elastic of the pants as he lets them go.
They walk on down the street.
TYLER: I read that Banksy's in town.
Piper opens her mouth in shock.
PIPER: We should try to find a Banksy piece!
TYLER: How about I'll got this way, you go that way.
PIPER: Team, split!
They tap hands.
TYLER: I'm taking this though.
He indicates the camera. They both walk away to look.
TYLER: Hey, Pipes! It's here!
PIPER:(at a distance) Stop it!
She runs into view and screams then laughs.
TYLER: Hey Pipes, Pipes, Pipes! I found it!
PIPER: What? What, a Banksy?
TYLER: No, a portrait of you.
He indicates a large blue face that looks a bit like the genie from Aladdin. She looks at him disparagingly.
PIPER: Okay, guys, that's all for this week's episode, we've got two down, three more to go. Make sure you subscribe to my channel if you haven't already, so you're updated with what we're posting next week. The more best obs of Melbourne. Until then...
Tyler come into shot.
TYLER: And I'll still be here.
PIPER: Yes, unfortunately, Tyler will still be with us, everybody. So just bear with, two eps, and he's gone.
Tyler leans into shot again.
TYLER: She's really excited, I swear!
Piper just looks at him and rolls her eyes in mock- anger.
PIPER: Alright, bye, guys!