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Name of Webisode:
Part 48 - My Mum's Getting Married
Release Date: 29/10/17
Written by:
Directed by:
Guests:
Music:
Summary/Images by: Sayaka
Xanthe and Piper are by Lassiter's Lake wearing party hats.
Caption: PIPE UP
PIPER: Hey, guys, so yes, I am here...
XANTHE: ...with my dear...
PIPER: ...and there's no fear...
XANTHE: ...cos she can now buy beer!
PIPER: Yes! Yes! I am finally eighteen! Xanthe and my family and friends have organised a little party for me, but we've snuck away for a little bit...just to come and say hi to you...
XANTHE: Hey, y'all!
PIPER: Hey, y'all! So yeah, I'm eighteen! I can't believe the day has *finally* come.
XANTHE: Woo! How do you feel?
PIPER: The same. I know! It's underwhelming, but I feel the same...
XANTHE: OK, well, what about you and Tyler? I mean, with everything that happened at the start of the year, you were so excited to turn eighteen.
PIPER: I was *aching* for it. But I was under the impression that if I was, like, eighteen, our relationship would be legitimate, people would take us seriously, but like, that's happened without me being eighteen.
XANTHE: By the way...Tyler...older man, you know, that whole...
PIPER: Yeah.
XANTHE: OK, well, maybe when your exams are done you'll be more excited!
Just then, a party poper explodes over Piper.
PIPER: OH MY GOD!
A slow motion replay of the incident ensues.
Xanthe can't stop laughing and Piper joins in.
XANTHE: OK, that's the last one I'm popping!
PIPER: I can't even remember what the question was! What did you ask me?
They are both laughing hysterically.
XANTHE: I said...
PIPER: I can't hear!
XANTHE: Once exams are over, then you'll be more excited.
PIPER: I hope so.
XANTHE: Yeah.
PIPER: People put so much emphasis on turning eighteen. I can vote now, I'm suddenly seen as, like, mature, like yesterday I wasn't mature or responsible enough to make that adult decision. Today, one day later, I *am*.
XANTHE: OK, but you're the type of person that was mature enough to vote at the age of, like, seven!
PIPER: It's ridiculous, if you think about it. Like, if you're 364 days old, no. No, no, you can't, you're not an adult, you're not, you can't buy alcohol. But *one day later* I can buy as much as I want!
XANTHE: Let's do it!
PIPER: You're not eighteen!
XANTHE: But *you* are!
They laugh.
XANTHE: You know what, though? After everything that's happened between us, I am just happy that we're able to celebrate together. We had an awkward moment...
PIPER: I know...
XANTHE: It's OK, that's the thing that I wanted to say.
PIPER: Basically...we were going to be step- sister. Every...
XANTHE: Every best friend's dream.
PIPER: Yeah. Then...the wedding didn't go through. We had a little bit of a rough patch, but, we're stronger than ever! So, to really prove that we are all good again, Xanthe got me a really...
XANTHE: ...freaking awesome present.
PIPER: I know, do you want to explain what you...here...
XANTHE: Basically, I got Piper a session in an isolation tank.
PIPER: A sensory deprivation tank.
XANTHE: Mmm. I tried it, when I was...
PIPER: Have you?
XANTHE: Yes.
PIPER: Tell me...
XANTHE: You lose all of your senses. So, it's dark, it's like you're floating in the middle of space. You know one of those dreams...
PIPER: Oh my God, Xanthe's dreams are the *best*. Go, tell one!
XANTHE: I just had this moment of...'we are floating'...in a blue planet, right now. Don't mock me...
PIPER: I'm not.
XANTHE: Truly floating in a blue planet right now. Space, there's just so much world out there, and who knows, we are in a dome. We are *literally living in a dome, and all of our little problems, like, they don't matter.
PIPER: There's this theory that we are in a simulation, right now, like, we play sims, imagine, like, *we* are the sims. And people are playing us, there's like, a theory...
XANTHE: While you're in your little "deprivation tank"...
PIPER: I don't want to be having an existential crisis in the tank and being like, "Am I dead?" I don't know, because I can't feel anything!
XANTHE: Or you'll be floating, like you're floating in space.
PIPER: Can you drown? But isn't it in water? What happens if you fall asleep and you roll over?
XANTHE: Well, look, let's hope you survive(!)
She pops another party popper.
PIPER: OH MY GOD!
They giggle.
XANTHE: Just keep them coming!
PIPER: Don't, I'm like, *so* on edge! I have a question.
XANTHE: Yes.
PIPER: Speaking of not being able to feel anything...if you had to live without a sense, what would you live without?
She thinks.
XANTHE: Definitely not taste because, chocolate, obviously...
PIPER: Obviously...can you imagine going to Yo- Chi...
She looks into the camera.
PIPER: So, it's in Melbourne, Australia, it's a frozen yoghurt place...
She looks back at Xanthe.
PIPER: Can you imagine going in...think of all the flavours of yoghurt, all the toppings...of all the combinations and not being able to taste that.
XANTHE: No, thanks.
PIPER: Hell! Hell!
XANTHE: Yeah.
PIPER: Oh, you *have* to have sight.
XANTHE: Sight...OK...and, hearing...
PIPER: Well, apparently, I don't have that anymore, so, thanks to this(!)
She holds up the party popper shell.
XANTHE: I guess...it would be...touch.
PIPER: That's sad, though. I mean, think about it...like, you wouldn't be able to feel a hug.
XANTHE: OK, but think about this. If I couldn't *feel* anything, I could literally put my hand through fire and it would be fine. I could burn myself and I'd be, like, 'Yo, just another day at the office!'
PIPER: No, but you'd still burn yourself, you might not be able to feel it, but you'd have this gaping wound to the hand...
XANTHE: And I'd be like, 'I didn't even feel this, guys!"
PIPER: Yep, I'm going to lock in touch as well.
XANTHE: Oh, lock it in!
PIPER: Lock it in, Eddie!
Xanthe innocently lets off another party popper.
They smell the empty shell of the party popper.
XANTHE: See, I love this smell, though.
PIPER: It's such a good...bonfires.
XANTHE: It just smells like childhood.
PIPER: When it rains...
XANTHE: Oh, my gosh! Like the smell of coffee.
PIPER:(into the camera) What is your favourite smell? Comment down below your favourite smell. I love jonquilles...the smell after it rains...
XANTHE: I love petrol.
Piper looks at her.
XANTHE: The smell after it rains, yep...
They laugh.
XANTHE: You don't like the smell of petrol?
PIPER: I wouldn't list it...it's like the first step to admitting...
XANTHE: It smells...
PIPER: ...like petrol!
She looks at the camera.
PIPER: I need you to help me with something...could you hold the camera because I need both hands.
Xanthe takes the camera.
PIPER: It's heavy...
She takes out a piece of paper.
PIPER: Here's something I prepared earlier. Not that much earlier, because I didn't know this was happening. We're going to do a little game. I've written down some questions and I'm going to answer them, and then I'm going to ask them again when I'm, like, thirty, and compare the answers and be like, wow, I've really grown, or like, wow, I haven't.
XANTHE:(reading off the sheet). What's the most important quality you think you have?
PIPER: I'm passionate.
XANTHE: Oooh! What sort of passionate are we talking about?
PIPER: You saucy little minx! No, in all aspects of my life, I am passionate about...justice. I am passionate about...HD Cameras.
XANTHE: Is that it?
PIPER: Yeah.
XANTHE: What's a quality you have that other people wish you didn't?
PIPER: I'm *too* passionate.
XANTHE: Mmm, does Tyler agree with that?
PIPER: I didn't mean it like that! I just meant, like...
XANTHE:(imitating Tyler) Oh, Piper, I *love* how passionate you are, I don't even know how to *spell* the word 'patriarchy'!
PIPER: Savage, but true! Question 3.
XANTHE: Awwww. How much do I love Xanthe?
PIPER: Yes. Now, this one's important, so I want you to remember this one and archive. Words cannot explain the love that I have for my beautiful, dear friend Xanthe. You know, when I'm thirty, I hope that you will be there. I don't know what the future's going to hold for me, but, I know for sure that I want to be surrounded by people that I love.
XANTHE: Me.
PIPER: Literally! And I want you to be a part of it, and I hope that you are, I don't want to look back at this video and be, like, 'Oh my God, I miss that'
XANTHE: No.
PIPER: I miss that. I miss that person, you know?
Xanthe is touched. But suddenly Piper lets off a party popper and she screams! A slow- motion replay ensues.
PIPER: Ha, ha, yes!
She celebrates.
PIPER: I just have to get you one more time to be even! Yeah, you know what, today, I challenge you guys to tell someone how much they mean to you. We don't do that enough. 'Hey, I love and appreciate you!' (To Xanthe) I love and appreciate you!
XANTHE: I love and appreciate you, man!
They hug.
PIPER: Stop it! That's all, guys. Thank you so much for watching! Like, subscribe, blah, blah, blah. Bye guys!
XANTHE: Bye!
They blow kisses.
Xanthe Canning, Piper Willis  in Neighbours Webisode Part 48 - My Mum
Xanthe Canning, Piper Willis

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