Piper is in the kitchen of Harold's Cafe.
She claps her hands.
PIPER: Let's do this! I can...four? Let's try five. No, I feel like a python.
She stuffs four ANZAC biscuits in her mouth.
PIPER: Don't judge me! It's ANZAC day!
Caption: PIPE UP (with biscuit- crunching noises)
PIPER: G'day, to my lovley subscribers.
She stops and chokes.
PIPER: Oh my God, I've got ANZAC cookie in my nose! I'm here at work, and I'm spreading Australian love with my ANZAC cookies. I mean biscuits, not cookies. That's American. This is ANZAC day. We've got to stop this onslaught of cultural imperialism, one cookie at a time. Except Moana. Moana can stay. Moana's cool.
She looks into the camera.
PIPER: I'm handing out ANZAC biscuits today which was the idea of the new owner of the cafe that I work out. I've met her family, so sweet, the Dad's like, such a *Dad*, know what I mean? Bless. Youngest daughter is so sweet, oldest one, I'm meant to be showing around. She must have got a better offer because she's wandered off. No idea where she is. I think she might be a bit of a trouble- maker, that one.
She holds up her hands.
PIPER: Woah! Who was that?! That was *not* me, I sound like my mother, any minute now I'm going to start raging. 'PIPER MARILEE WILLIS!!'
She turns back to the camera.
PIPER: I'm not going to lie. I have been known to be, like, 'ANZAC Day, yes, day off!' But this is different...handing out these ANZAC biscuits has really made me properly think about the day's meaning and the importance of it. And especially now, the world that we live in is just...I don't even know where to begin. Whole nother video rant. I just think that, like, now, more so that any other time in history, I think it's important that we look at the world and not just our own, but like, everyone else's perspective, you know, walk a mile in everyone else's shoes. That's what really causes war, right, is differences? Differences in values or beliefs. You know, like today, doing stuff like this, handing out these delicious home- made treats...
She nibbles on a biscuit.
PIPER: I got the opportunity to go out there and meet new people. Listen to them and hear a different perspective I got to see today. And I got a chance to understand *them*. Which I think we all need to and it's important.
She eats the rest of the biscuit.
PIPER: Oh my God, they're so good, Dipi!
She swings the camera around.
PIPER: On that note, let me tell you about three individuals that I met today. Numero Uno is T- Bone. Now, just bear with, he's a backpacker...T- Bone, what kind of name is T- Bone? And trust me, I had the exact same reaction. Curious and I did a bit of snooping behind the old reception desk...illegal, perhaps, but...shocker...his name isn't actually T- Bone, it's a nickname. Woah! Don't worry, your secret's safe with me, Terrence.
She smiles conspirationally at the camera.
PIPER: If someone came up to me and they were like, 'Yo, my name's T- Bone' I'd be like, 'West Waratah's thataway...' I was actually very surprised, he's, like, super- smart. He made this point the other day, if you take away Arts, in school for example, that actually has more of an effect on how people view the world than if you took away history. Because Art is perspective, Art is how we view the world, it's like a representation of how we view the world. So, essentially, Art is us. My mind was blown! He is *so* smart.
She holds up two fingers.
PIPER: Individual dos. He was a real DJC. What I like to call a 'Dad Joke Central'. Not a word of a lie, this is how our conversation went.
She acts out a conversation from earlier.
STORY PIPER:(offering a biscuit) Hi, my name's Piper, I'm handing out ANZAC biscuits today on behalf of Harold's Cafe, would you like one?
STORY RANDOMER: Piper did you say? Well, uh, then these biscuits don't look finished!
STORY PIPER: Uh, sorry?
STORY RANDOMER: If you're a piper, then maybe you should have piped some icing on these biscuits!
STORY PIPER: Ha, ha, you're hilarious(!)
She looks back into the camera.
PIPER: Yes, ANZAC Day has taught me a lot about being tolerant of others! Different kinds of people.
She holds up three fingers.
PIPER: Individual numero tres. Just before, I met this amazing woman named Faiza and she moved to Australia only a few years ago. When I was talking to her, I thought that she might be lost as to what ANZAC Day was all about, but there was just so much graciousness. She appreciated the Day so much because she believes that it shows that Australians care about the lives and the stories of its people. I guess it's like a bad reflection on me because I wasn't expecting it. I'm not mad that I'm working on ANZAC Day, let's just put it that way.
She eats another biscuit.
PIPER:(with her mouth full of biscuit) OK guys, thank you so much for watching today's episode...
She tries not to choke on her biscuit again.
PIPER: And until next time, farewell my worldy warriors! Bye bye! Oops! Crumbs!