We open with Piper sitting in a school corridor with a school noticeboard behind her.
PIPER: Hey, guys, it's Piper here! Obviously, you'd know my name by now...unless you were new to my channel, then hello, hi, I'm Piper, nice to meet you, what's your name? Keith?
PIPER: Ah! Hi, Keith, nice to meet you! So, er, what brought you to my channel?
(She listens and then looks rather shocked)
PIPER: Oh...oh, OK.
Caption: PIPE UP
PIPER: Last week's vlog was...a little bit heavy. First, I just want to say thank you to everyone who left messages of, like, support, checking in with me, I really appreciate it, I'm fine. This week I wanted to really focus on doing a really upbeat video that's more like the video and content that I usually make for you guys...I want to do something a little bit different. So, this week, I'm going to be reading through all the comments you guys leave me, which I love doing and I always do it. This week, I'm going to be sharing them with you - the good and the...not so good comments.
She chuckles a bit.
PIPER: 'Larissa...shut the hell up, Piper. Sandra...this chic [sic] is so annoying. Tori...Ben looks like a scary clown. But he's still hawt.' Ben's hot. Watch out, Xanthe, you've got some competition! No, I'm kidding. You two are solid, you've got nothing to worry about. We don't have to have a mssive chat after this is uploaded. Dee...Piper is soooo annoying. Denise...really annoying.
She looks outraged.
PIPER: OK, I wasn't going to read surnames, but Imogen *Willis*?! 'Yeah, I agree, so annoying!'
Piper is open- mouthed.
PIPER: I'm not annoying! Am I? Why am I annoying? You don't like me, ta- ta!
PIPER: Bye! Bye, you can go, click off my channel! Larissa, I see you! Get off my channel! Go! OK, we're all gone? Good. For the remaining three, let's continue with the video.
She looks down at her phone.
PIPER: 'Fruity and Reetz...My first word was cheese.' Huh! Interesting. Do you still like cheese? What's your favourite cheese? My favourite's Gouda. If you know the film reference, comment down below what that was from. I'm partial to a little bit of goat feta myself! 'TopSecurity &Police...Great video!' Thanks! Oh my God, my arm hurting, I need to go to the gym! 'Snails are both gender, I know because I have a pet one'! Get out of here, that's so cool! Our snails could have been, like, best friends! Slimy live your...your comment...should not have had three coffees from Harold's!
She shakes her head.
PIPER: Leave your snail's name in the comments down below...is what I was trying to say. Looks like I've got a couple of fans! 'Izzy...I love Pipe Up. Kat...I love Pipe Up soo much'.
She stands up and makes a sign of victory with her fist.
PIPER: 'Jeremy...I really like your show!' Thanks, Jeremy! I really like your comment! 'Chrissy...Loved it, Piper and Ben should be together'
She tails off.
PIPER: Xanthe, I promise you, like, it's not like that, I don't like Ben! Ben is a friend. Um...I don't like Ben like that.
She makes a face.
PIPER: No offence! Not like, Ben is hot, you...I...anyone out there want to throw me a shovel or a rope ladder to climb out of this hole, that would be great! 'Safa...', you don't like sheep, they're quit scary?
Piper looks confused.
PIPER: Safa, what happened?! There that movie...there's like this car and it's got all these zombie sheep on it. Maybe you saw that? If so, then I totally understand why you're scared of them. '2008 eps please'
She looks confused again.
PIPER: I haven't been vlogging for *that* long. 'Madroswellfan...' thank you for correcting me on that other video. Um, in the comments...'If you could create your perfect partner, describe them in five words.'
Piper looks thoughtful.
PIPER: Kind. Confident, but, like, not in an arrogant way, just in a 'I'm comfortable with who I am' sort of way. Smart. Like, Street- smart. Honest. I don't if there's a *word* for it, but, basically, not caring what anyone thinks about you or your relationship. That, if that was a quality or a word, um, that'd be right up the top.
She puts down her phone.
PIPER: That's all from me this week, guys, thank you so much for all your comments, as per usual, if you want to ask me anything, you're welcome to leave them down below and I'll try to get back to you inbetween getting cheese facts for you guys and preparing for Hallowe'en...
Someone distracts Piper off- camera.
PIPER:(waves) Hey! Hi, yeah, I'm doing one of *those* videos, yep, I'm filming still, yes. OK, bye! That was, but...anyway doesn't matter. That was probably really annoying, so...sorry for being so annoying! Um...but yeah, I'll see you guys next week! Ciao!
She waves goodbye.